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论肢体语言的重要作用 – 译学馆
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论肢体语言的重要作用

Your body language shapes who you are | Amy Cuddy

Light up the world
那么就以一个开放的非科技的小游戏作为开始吧
So I want to start by offering you a free no-tech life hack,
我只有一个要求
and all it requires of you is this:
改变你的姿势并保持两分钟
that you change your posture for two minutes.
在我说停止前 我需要你现在
But before I give it away, I want to ask you to right now
稍微审视一下自己的身体 看看自己正在做什么
do a little audit of your body and what you’re doing with your body.
有多少人正在一点点减少自己的存在感呢
So how many of you are sort of making yourselves smaller?
你可能正躬身向前交叉双腿 抑或正抱住你的膝盖
Maybe you’re hunching, crossing your legs, maybe wrapping your ankles.
有时我们会像这样环抱双臂
Sometimes we hold onto our arms like this.
有时我们也会伸开双臂
Sometimes we spread out.
我看见你们在做这些动作
I see you.
所以我要你们注意自己此时此刻正在做什么
So I want you to pay attention to what you’re doing right now.
几分钟后我们再来一次
We’re going to come back to that in a few minutes,
我想 如果大家能学着稍微控制自己的身体语言
and I’m hoping that if you learn to tweak this a little bit,
它会显著地改变你们的生活
it could significantly change the way your life unfolds.
我们对肢体语言十分着迷
So, we’re really fascinated with body language,
对他人的肢体语言尤其感兴趣
and we’re particularly interested in other people’s body language.
你懂的 我们对一些情况
You know, we’re interested in, like, you know —
一次尴尬的互动 一个笑容
an awkward interaction, or a smile,
或轻蔑的一撇 或尴尬非常的眨眼
or a contemptuous glance, or maybe a very awkward wink,
甚至是像握手这类事 都很感兴趣
or maybe even something like a handshake.
解说员:现在他们到唐宁街10号了
Narrator: Here they are arriving at Number 10.
这个幸运的警察要和美国总统握手了
This lucky policeman gets to shake hands with the President of the United States.
英国首相来了 算了
Here comes the Prime Minister — No.
艾米·卡迪:所以一次握手 或一次没握成的手
Amy Cuddy: So a handshake, or the lack of a handshake,
可以让我们讨论一周一周又一周
can have us talking for weeks and weeks and weeks.
就算是英国广播公司和纽约时报也不能免俗
Even the BBC and The New York Times.
显而易见 当我们思考非言语行为
So obviously when we think about nonverbal behavior,
或是肢体语言 但我们社会学家一般称之为非言语语言
or body language — but we call it nonverbals as social scientists —
这是一种语言 由此我们会想到交流
it’s language, so we think about communication.
交流又让我们想到交往
When we think about communication, we think about interactions.
那么你们的肢体语言想和我做什么交流呢
So what is your body language communicating to me?
我的肢体语言又要和你交流什么呢
What’s mine communicating to you?
我们有许多理由相信这是考虑该问题的有效方法
And there’s a lot of reason to believe that this is a valid way to look at this.
所以社会学家花了很多时间
So social scientists have spent a lot of time
去审视我们的肢体语言
looking at the effects of our body language,
或他人的肢体语言所产生的影响
or other people’s body language, on judgments.
我们从中得出了一些结论和推测
And we make sweeping judgments and inferences from body language.
这些结论可以对未来生活作出非常有意义的预测
And those judgments can predict really meaningful life outcomes
比如我们要聘用或提拔谁 找谁约会
like who we hire or promote, who we ask out on a date.
举个例子 塔夫茨大学的调查员娜里妮·安姆巴迪表示
For example, Nalini Ambady, a researcher at Tufts University,
人们在看时长30秒关于医患关系的
shows that when people watch 30-second soundless clips
无声影片时
of real physician-patient interactions,
对医生好坏的评判
their judgments of the physician’s niceness
预测了医生是否会被控告
predict whether or not that physician will be sued.
所以我们没必要做太多关于
So it doesn’t have to do so much
医生是否称职的评判
with whether or not that physician was incompetent,
而要判断我们是否喜欢这个人 以及他与别人的交往方式
but do we like that person and how they interacted?
更戏剧性的是 普林斯顿大学的亚历克斯·托多罗夫
Even more dramatic, Alex Todorov at Princeton
已经告诉我们 仅仅一秒钟内
has shown us that judgments of political candidates’ faces
对党派候选人面部的评判
in just one second predict 70 percent
就能预测美国70%参议院和各州长选票的结果
of U.S. Senate and gubernatorial race outcomes,
甚至在网络交流方面也是如此
and even, let’s go digital,
在线上谈判时表情符号的合理使用
emoticons used well in online negotiations
有助于你获取更多的利益
can lead you to claim more value from that negotiation.
但如果你不能合理利用 就亏了 不是吗
If you use them poorly, bad idea. Right?
所以当我们考虑非言语(行为)时 我们也在考虑如何评判他人
So when we think of nonverbals, we think of how we judge others,
他人怎么评判我们 以及结论如何
how they judge us and what the outcomes are.
虽然我们的非言语行为会影响其他听众
We tend to forget, though, the other audience
但我们更倾向于忽视这一点
that’s influenced by our nonverbals, and that’s ourselves.
我们的非言语行为也会影响
We are also influenced by our nonverbals,
我们自己的思想 感受和生理
our thoughts and our feelings and our physiology.
那么非言语行为到底是什么呢
So what nonverbals am I talking about?
我是一名社会心理学家 我研究偏见
I’m a social psychologist. I study prejudice,
在一所竞争激烈的商学院任职
and I teach at a competitive business school,
所以不可避免地 我会对权力动力学很感兴趣
so it was inevitable that I would become interested in power dynamics.
对权利和统治的非言语表达
I became especially interested in nonverbal expressions
尤其感兴趣
of power and dominance.
那么什么是权利和统治的非言语表达呢
And what are nonverbal expressions of power and dominance?
这是对它们的定义
Well, this is what they are.
在动物世界 这表现为各种扩张
So in the animal kingdom, they are about expanding.
你会使自己更庞大 你会伸展身体
So you make yourself big, you stretch out,
占据空间 你基本上是在对外扩张
you take up space, you’re basically opening up.
这时非言语行为表达是关于对外扩张
It’s about opening up.
这是整个动物王国的真理
And this is true across the animal kingdom.
而且不仅仅局限于灵长类动物
It’s not just limited to primates.
人类也会做同样的事
And humans do the same thing.
当他们长期手握权力 或感觉力量爆棚时
So they do this both when they have power sort of chronically,
也会这样做
and also when they’re feeling powerful in the moment.
这一点特别有趣 它真实地向我们展示了
And this one is especially interesting because it really shows us
力量的表现是多么普遍而古老
how universal and old these expressions of power are.
这种力量的表现 我们称之为自豪
This expression, which is known as pride,
杰西卡·翠西对此有过研究
Jessica Tracy has studied.
她的研究表明 当那些生来视力正常
She shows that people who are born with sight
和天生眼盲的人在身体类竞技中获胜时
and people who are congenitally blind do this
都会有这种表达
when they win at a physical competition.
所以他们跨过终点线 取得胜利的那一刻
So when they cross the finish line and they’ve won,
不论他们是否看见过他人做这个动作
it doesn’t matter if they’ve never seen anyone do it.
他们都会这样做
They do this.
他们双臂高举成V型 下巴略微上昂
So the arms up in the V, the chin is slightly lifted.
那我们无力时又会做些什么呢
What do we do when we feel powerless?
当然是做完全相反的事
We do exactly the opposite.
我们收缩自己 紧紧包裹住自己
We close up. We wrap ourselves up.
让自己变小
We make ourselves small.
我们不想触碰到身旁的人
We don’t want to bump into the person next to us.
这次 动物和人类又做了同样的事
So again, both animals and humans do the same thing.
当强者和弱者相遇时 会出现如图所示的情况
And this is what happens when you put together high and low power.
所以当我们感觉充满力量时
So what we tend to do when it comes to power
我们还喜欢加上肢体语言
is that we complement the other’s nonverbals.
所以如果和我们在一起的某人真的强势
So if someone is being really powerful with us,
我们会倾向于让自己更弱 不去模仿他们
we tend to make ourselves smaller. We don’t mirror them.
做和他们相反的事
We do the opposite of them.
我在教室中观察这种行为
So I’m watching this behavior in the classroom,
我注意到什么了呢
and what do I notice?
我发现那些工商管理学硕士往往会表达出极强势的肢体语言
I notice that MBA students really exhibit the full range of power nonverbals.
你可以看到那些人像阿尔法(讽刺)漫画里的人
So you have people who are like caricatures of alphas,
他们走进教室 直接走向教室的中间
really coming into the room, they get right into the middle of the room
就像他们真的要占领这片领域
before class even starts, like they really want to occupy space.
他们一坐下 就开始伸展肢体
When they sit down, they’re sort of spread out.
他们举起双手 就像这样
They raise their hands like this.
而另一些人进入教室时 几乎要将自己折叠起来
You have other people who are virtually collapsing
他们的面部和身体
when they come in. As soon they come in, you see it.
无一不在告诉你这一点
You see it on their faces and their bodies,
他们坐在椅子上 让自己看起来渺小
and they sit in their chair and they make themselves tiny,
他们像这样举手
and they go like this when they raise their hand.
关于这一点我注意到几件事
I notice a couple of things about this.
第一 你们并没有对此表示惊讶
One, you’re not going to be surprised.
这似乎与性别有关
It seems to be related to gender.
相比较男性而言 女性更倾向于这样举手
So women are much more likely to do this kind of thing than men.
女性习惯性地感到比男性弱势
Women feel chronically less powerful than men,
所以这不足为奇
so this is not surprising.
但我注意到的第二件事是
But the other thing I noticed
这似乎又和学生们
is that it also seemed to be related to the extent
对课程的参与度有关 以及他们参与的水准
to which the students were participating, and how well they were participating.
这一点在工商管理学硕士的课程中非常重要
And this is really important in the MBA classroom,
因为参与度在课程成绩中占了一半的比重
because participation counts for half the grade.
所以商学院已经在与因性别导致的成绩差异作斗争
So business schools have been struggling with this gender grade gap.
男女学生入校时水平是差不多的
You get these equally qualified women and men coming in
后面却得到不同的成绩分数
and then you get these differences in grades,
而这似乎在一定程度上与参与度有关
and it seems to be partly attributable to participation.
所以我开始思考
So I started to wonder, you know, okay,
这些强势的人像这样走进教室 他们是参与其中的
so you have these people coming in like this, and they’re participating.
那我们有没有可能让弱势的人假装强势
Is it possible that we could get people to fake it
那样能否会让他们参与度更高呢
and would it lead them to participate more?
我的主要合作伙伴是伯克利的卡里·戴娜
So my main collaborator Dana Carney, who’s at Berkeley,
我真的很想知道 你能否假装做得到直到你真的成功
and I really wanted to know, can you fake it till you make it?
你能不能像这样坚持一小会儿
Like, can you do this just for a little while
然后由内而外变得自信
and actually experience a behavioral outcome
让你看起来更强势呢
that makes you seem more powerful?
而且我们知道 我们的肢体语言决定着他人
So we know that our nonverbals govern how other people
对我们的想法和感受 有许多证据可以证明这一点
think and feel about us. There’s a lot of evidence.
但我们真的想知道
But our question really was,
我们的肢体语言是否决定我们对自我的看法呢
do our nonverbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves?
有证据表明 确实如此
There’s some evidence that they do.
例如我们开心时会微笑
So, for example, we smile when we feel happy,
但同时 当我们像这样用牙齿衔住一支钢笔时
but also, when we’re forced to smile
会被迫露出笑容 这也会让我们感到快乐
by holding a pen in our teeth like this, it makes us feel happy.
所以双向都适用
So it goes both ways.
当涉及到自信心 这同样适用
When it comes to power, it also goes both ways.
当你感到自信时
So when you feel powerful,
你更可能这样来表现
you’re more likely to do this,
但当你假装自信的时候
but it’s also possible that when you pretend to be powerful,
这种做法也很可能让你真的感到自信
you are more likely to actually feel powerful.
所以第二个问题就是
So the second question really was, you know,
我们的意识改变着肢体
so we know that our minds change our bodies,
那么肢体是否也会改变意识呢
but is it also true that our bodies change our minds?
那么 当我谈自信满满时的意识时
And when I say minds, in the case of the powerful,
实际上是在谈什么呢
what am I talking about?
我在谈论思想和感觉
So I’m talking about thoughts and feelings
以及那些组成了我们的思想和感觉的生理性的东西
and the sort of physiological things that make up our thoughts and feelings,
在我看来 这种生理物质是荷尔蒙 我正着眼于此
and in my case, that’s hormones. I look at hormones.
那么 强者与弱者的思想相比较会怎样呢
So what do the minds of the powerful versus the powerless look like?
毋庸置疑 强势的人
So powerful people tend to be, not surprisingly,
更加果断 自信和乐观
more assertive and more confident, more optimistic.
甚至在机遇游戏中 他们也认为自己会赢
They actually feel they’re going to win even at games of chance.
他们也更倾向于抽象思考
They also tend to be able to think more abstractly.
所以会有许多不同 他们更喜欢冒险
So there are a lot of differences. They take more risks.
强势与弱势的人之间有许多不同
There are a lot of differences between powerful and powerless people.
就生理方面来说 两种主要的荷尔蒙
Physiologically, there also are differences
也有所不同 睾酮素是统治激素
on two key hormones: testosterone, which is the dominance hormone,
皮质醇则是压力激素
and cortisol, which is the stress hormone.
我们发现 在灵长动物阶层中的强势者
So what we find is that high-power alpha males in primate hierarchies
拥有高睾酮水平和低皮质醇
have high testosterone and low cortisol,
而强势且高效的领导者
and powerful and effective leaders
也是同样的情况
also have high testosterone and low cortisol.
那么这意味着什么呢 一想到力量
So what does that mean? When you think about power,
人们往往只考虑睾酮素
people tended to think only about testosterone,
因为它是统治激素
because that was about dominance.
但实际上 力量也与你对压力的反应有关
But really, power is also about how you react to stress.
那么你想要一个强大的 高睾酮水平的
So do you want the high-power leader that’s dominant,
但对压力反应及其敏感的最高领导人吗
high on testosterone, but really stress reactive?
你可能不怎么愿意 对吧
Probably not, right?
你想要一个有影响力 果断且强大的人
You want the person who’s powerful and assertive and dominant,
而不是对压力反应迟钝 且散漫的人
but not very stress reactive, the person who’s laid back.
我们知道 在灵长动物阶层中
So we know that in primate hierarchies,
如果一个统治者需要接替他人
if an alpha needs to take over,
或如果忽然之间在几天内某个人要接替领导角色
if an individual needs to take over an alpha role sort of suddenly,
那这个人的睾酮水平就会明显上涨
within a few days, that individual’s testosterone has gone up
皮质醇显著下降
significantly and his cortisol has dropped significantly.
有证据表明 至少从表面看来
So we have this evidence, both that the body can shape
我们的身体能够影响意识
the mind, at least at the facial level,
同时 角色的转变也会影响意识
and also that role changes can shape the mind.
你的角色发生改变时会发生什么
So what happens, okay, you take a role change,
如果你小小改变一下又会发生什么呢
what happens if you do that at a really minimal level,
就像这个微小的改变和干涉
like this tiny manipulation, this tiny intervention?
就两分钟 你说 我需要你像这样站着
“For two minutes,” you say, “I want you to stand like this,
这会让你感到更有力量
and it’s going to make you feel more powerful.”
这就是我们做的事
So this is what we did.
我们决定让人们去实验室做个小实验
We decided to bring people into the lab and run a little experiment,
让这些人在实验室里待两分钟
and these people adopted, for two minutes,
摆出强势的或弱势的姿势
either high-power poses or low-power poses,
他们每人只展示了两种
and I’m just going to show you five of the poses,
在此我给你们展示其中的五种
although they took on only two.
这是第一种
So here’s one.
这是其中一组
A couple more.
这一组已由媒体译制为神奇女侠
This one has been dubbed the “Wonder Woman” by the media.
这是另一组
Here are a couple more.
所以你可以选择站立或是坐下
So you can be standing or you can be sitting.
这是弱势的姿势
And here are the low-power poses.
你折叠身体 让自己看起来很小
So you’re folding up, you’re making yourself small.
这个姿势非常弱势
This one is very low-power.
你触摸脖子的动作显示出你正自我保护
When you’re touching your neck, you’re really protecting yourself.
这就是实验期间发生的事
So this is what happens.
人们进入实验室 然后将唾液吐进小瓶中
They come in, they spit into a vial,
在这两分钟内 我们告诉他们 你们要做这个或那个
for two minutes, we say, “You need to do this or this.”
他们却不看这些姿势的图片
They don’t look at pictures of the poses.
我们不想让他们对力量的概念有所准备
We don’t want to prime them with a concept of power.
而要他们去感受力量
We want them to be feeling power.
所以在这两分钟他们就做了这些事
So two minutes they do this.
在这一系列项目的基础上 我们问他们 你觉得自己有多强大
We then ask them, “How powerful do you feel?” on a series of items,
然后给他们一个打赌的机会
and then we give them an opportunity to gamble,
随后又获取另外的唾液样本
and then we take another saliva sample.
上面就是整个实验
That’s it. That’s the whole experiment.
下面是我们的发现
So this is what we find.
对于风险容忍度 也即赌博
Risk tolerance, which is the gambling,
我们发现 当你摆出强势的姿势时
we find that when you are in the high-power pose condition,
有86%的人会选择投机
86 percent of you will gamble.
而在弱势姿势情况下
When you’re in the low-power pose condition,
这种人只有60% 这是一个巨大且值得注意的差距
only 60 percent, and that’s a whopping significant difference.
这是我们在睾酮上的发现
Here’s what we find on testosterone.
与他们进入实验室的基准线相比
From their baseline when they come in,
强势的人睾酮水平上升了20%左右
high-power people experience about a 20-percent increase,
弱势的人则下降了10%
and low-power people experience about a 10-percent decrease.
再一次的 两分钟实验 得到这样的变化
So again, two minutes, and you get these changes.
皮质醇上的变化如图
Here’s what you get on cortisol.
强势的人皮质醇下降了约25%
High-power people experience about a 25-percent decrease,
而弱势的人则上升了约15%
and the low-power people experience about a 15-percent increase.
所以两分钟时间导致的
So two minutes lead to these hormonal changes
组成你们大脑的荷尔蒙变化
that configure your brain
基本上让你们变得或果断 自信 自在
to basically be either assertive, confident and comfortable,
或对压力产生应激反应 感到有点自闭
or really stress-reactive, and feeling sort of shut down.
我们都有过这种感觉 对吗
And we’ve all had the feeling, right?
我们的肢体语言似乎确实能控制我们的想法和感受
So it seems that our nonverbals do govern how we think and feel about ourselves,
不仅仅是对他人 对我们自己亦然
so it’s not just others, but it’s also ourselves.
同样 我们的肢体也改变我们的意识
Also, our bodies change our minds.
那么毫无疑问 下一个问题是
But the next question, of course,
那几分钟强势的姿势
is, can power posing for a few minutes
真的可以有效地改变你的生活吗
really change your life in meaningful ways?
这只是实验室里进行的小测试 只有几分钟时间
This is in the lab, it’s this little task, it’s just a couple of minutes.
你又能在何处真正把这个应用起来呢
Where can you actually apply this?
这当然是我们所关心的
Which we cared about, of course.
我们认为 你们会在评估情景下进行应用
And so we think where you want to use this is evaluative situations,
比如社会治安情景
like social threat situations.
人们会在哪儿评价你呢 评价人也包括你的朋友
Where are you being evaluated, either by your friends?
对于青少年来说 是在餐厅饭桌上
For teenagers, it’s at the lunchroom table.
对一些人来说 评价发生在一次学校董事会议上
For some people it’s speaking at a school board meeting.
可能是表达想法 或像这样的演讲
It might be giving a pitch or giving a talk like this
或是工作面试
or doing a job interview.
我们挑选出工作面试这一项 这和大多数人相关
We decided that the one that most people could relate to
因为大多数人都曾有这个经历
because most people had been through, was the job interview.
我们公布了这个发现
So we published these findings,
媒体都进行了报道
and the media are all over it,
然后他们说 好吧 这就是你们面试时
and they say, Okay, so this is what you do
要做的事 对吗
when you go in for the job interview, right?
正如你们所知 我们当然为此震惊
You know, so we were of course horrified, and said,
我们说 天啊 这根本不是我们要表达的意思
Oh my God, no, that’s not what we meant at all.
原因有很多 你们千万不要这样做
For numerous reasons, no, don’t do that.
再说一次 这与你和他人谈话无关
Again, this is not about you talking to other people.
而是关乎你和自己的交谈
It’s you talking to yourself.
在你进行一场工作面试之前 你会做什么呢 会这样做吧
What do you do before you go into a job interview? You do this.
坐下来 看着你的苹果或
You’re sitting down. You’re looking at your iPhone —
安卓手机 事无遗漏
or your Android, not trying to leave anyone out.
你看自己做的笔记
You’re looking at your notes,
你把自己蜷缩起来 缩小自己的体积
you’re hunching up, making yourself small,
正如你在厕所里
when really what you should be doing maybe is this,
可能会做的事 对吧 就像这样维持两分钟
like, in the bathroom, right? Do that. Find two minutes.
这才是我们想要测试的
So that’s what we want to test. Okay?
所以我们把人们带进实验室
So we bring people into a lab,
他们又一次摆出或强势或弱势的姿势
and they do either high- or low-power poses again,
然后经历一场非常紧张的面试
they go through a very stressful job interview.
这场面试长达五分钟 摄像头记录下了他们的表现
It’s five minutes long. They are being recorded.
同样会有人评判他们
They’re being judged also,
而评判员已受训不给实验者任何肢体语言的回馈
and the judges are trained to give no nonverbal feedback,
所以他们看起来是这样的
so they look like this.
试想这样一个人来对你进行面试
Imagine this is the person interviewing you.
在五分钟内没有任何反应 这比激烈争论更糟糕
So for five minutes, nothing, and this is worse than being heckled.
人们讨厌这样
People hate this.
这就是玛丽安·拉弗朗斯所说的 立于流沙型社会
It’s what Marianne LaFrance calls “standing in social quicksand.”
而这确实会让你的皮质醇激增
So this really spikes your cortisol.
这就是我们让他们经历的面试
So this is the job interview we put them through,
因为我们确实想看看会发生什么
because we really wanted to see what happened.
然后我们让程序员看了其中四个录像带
We then have these coders look at these tapes, four of them.
他们对这种假设和条件一无所知
They’re blind to the hypothesis. They’re blind to the conditions.
他们不知道谁会摆出怎样的姿势
They have no idea who’s been posing in what pose,
他们看完这几个录像带后说
and they end up looking at these sets of tapes,
我们想录用这些人
and they say, “We want to hire these people,”
也就是所有姿势强势的人
all the high-power posers.
我们不想雇佣这些人
“We don’t want to hire these people.
我们也认为这些人在大体上更加消极
We also evaluate these people much more positively overall.”
但是什么促成这种结果的呢
But what’s driving it?
不是演讲的内容
It’s not about the content of the speech.
而是他们在演讲时的姿态
It’s about the presence that they’re bringing to the speech.
因为我们在所有与能力有关的变量上评价他们
Because we rate them on all these variables
比如 演讲的结构有多合理
related to competence, like, how well-structured is the speech?
内容有多完美 他们有哪些资格证书
How good is it? What are their qualifications?
无关乎我说的这些东西 这才是受影响的
No effect on those things. This is what’s affected.
就是屏幕上的这些
These kinds of things.
人们基本上展现出真实的自我
People are bringing their true selves, basically.
他们展现出了他们自己
They’re bringing themselves.
他们展示出自己的观点 但就他们自己来说
They bring their ideas, but as themselves,
他们没有任何保留
with no, you know, residue over them.
所以就是这个对结果产生了带动效应或中介效用
So this is what’s driving the effect, or mediating the effect.
当我将这个情况告诉人们
So when I tell people about this,
我们的身体就改变了意识 我们的意识能改变行为
that our bodies change our minds and our minds can change our behavior,
我们的行为能改变结果时 他们说
and our behavior can change our outcomes, they say to me,
“感觉好假哦” 不是吗
“It feels fake.” Right?
所以我说 在你真正做到之前 就假装做到
So I said, fake it till you make it.
这不是真正的我
It’s not me.
我不想好不容易取得的成就仍像一场骗局
I don’t want to get there and then still feel like a fraud.
不想自己像是一个骗子
I don’t want to feel like an impostor.
不想到了那里之后却发现自己不招人待见
I don’t want to get there only to feel like I’m not supposed to be here.
这真的与我产生了共鸣
And that really resonated with me,
我想告诉你们一个关于自己当假冒的人
because I want to tell you a little story about being an impostor
并且认为自己不该取得成就的小故事
and feeling like I’m not supposed to be here.
19岁那年 我出了一场严重的车祸
When I was 19, I was in a really bad car accident.
被抛出车外 在路上翻滚了好几圈
I was thrown out of a car, rolled several times.
我被从车子里甩出来
I was thrown from the car.
然后在头部伤害康复病房中醒来
And I woke up in a head injury rehab ward,
学校勒令我退学了
and I had been withdrawn from college,
我才知道我的智商下降了两个标准差
and I learned that my IQ had dropped by two standard deviations,
这是非常痛苦的
which was very traumatic.
我以聪明著称 所以我清楚自己的智商
I knew my IQ because I had identified with being smart,
我还是个小孩时他们就称我为天才
and I had been called gifted as a child.
被勒令退学后 我为返校而继续努力
So I’m taken out of college, I keep trying to go back.
学校方面说 你不能完成大学学业
They say, “You’re not going to finish college.
你知道的 你还可以做其他的事情
Just, you know, there are other things for you to do,
但这些事对你并没有用
but that’s not going to work out for you.”
我努力与之斗争 对此我必须说
So I really struggled with this, and I have to say,
失去你的特性 你的核心特性
having your identity taken from you, your core identity,
对我来说这就是聪明
and for me it was being smart,
失去你最擅长的东西
having that taken from you,
没有什么比这更让你感到无力的了
there’s nothing that leaves you feeling more powerless than that.
所以我真的感到非常无力
So I felt entirely powerless.
我只能努力学习 获得成就
I worked and worked, and I got lucky,
再努力 再获得成就 不断地努力
and worked, and got lucky, and worked.
最终我还是从大学毕业了
Eventually I graduated from college.
我比同辈多花了四年的时间
It took me four years longer than my peers,
我深信我天使般的导师 苏珊·菲斯克
and I convinced someone, my angel advisor, Susan Fiske,
她让我迎战命运 最终我来到了
to take me on, and so I ended up at Princeton,
似乎曾不可能到达的地方 普林斯顿大学
and I was like, I am not supposed to be here.
我是个冒充者
I am an impostor.
我在普林斯顿大学做面对20人的
And the night before my first-year talk,
20分钟新生演讲的前一晚
and the first-year talk at Princeton is a 20-minute talk to 20 people.
就是这样
That’s it.
我非常担心第二天被揭穿
I was so afraid of being found out the next day
我给她打电话 然后说 “我想放弃了”
that I called her and said, “I’m quitting.”
她像这样回答我 你不会放弃的
She was like, “You are not quitting,
因为我在你身上下了一场赌博 我赌你会留下
because I took a gamble on you, and you’re staying.
你将会留下 这也是你要做的事
You’re going to stay, and this is what you’re going to do.
你要假装你会留下
You are going to fake it.
你要去作被要求做的每一场演讲
You’re going to do every talk that you ever get asked to do.
你只管去做 去讲 去完成
You’re just going to do it and do it and do it,
就算你受到恐吓 感到无力
even if you’re terrified and just paralyzed
经历一场灵魂出窍
and having an out-of-body experience,
直到某一时刻你说 天啊 我做到了
until you have this moment where you say, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m doing it.
我已经成为了这样一个人 我确实做到了
Like, I have become this. I am actually doing this.'”
这就是我所做的
So that’s what I did.
在研究生院的五年
Five years in grad school,
你们知道 那几年我在西北部
a few years, you know, I’m at Northwestern,
我去了哈佛大学 在哈佛大学时
I moved to Harvard, I’m at Harvard,
我确实不再想这件事 但也有很长一段时间沉浸于
I’m not really thinking about it anymore, but for a long time I had been thinking,
“我不该在这儿”
“Not supposed to be here.”
在哈佛的第一学年结束时
So at the end of my first year at Harvard,
一名整个学期都没在班上说过话的学生
a student who had not talked in class the entire semester,
我曾对她说过 “听着 你必须得参与 不然就会失败”
who I had said, “Look, you’ve gotta participate or else you’re going to fail,”
她来到了我的办公室 其实我一点也不了解她
came into my office. I really didn’t know her at all.
她失魂落魄地进来 然后说
She came in totally defeated, and she said,
“我不该在这儿的”
“I’m not supposed to be here.”
这一刻于我而言十分奇妙
And that was the moment for me.
因为发生了两件事
Because two things happened.
第一件是 我意识到
One was that I realized,
天啊 我不再这样看待自己
oh my gosh, I don’t feel like that anymore.
我不再有这样的感受 但她有 我感觉到了
I don’t feel that anymore, but she does, and I get that feeling.
第二件是 她就应该在这儿
And the second was, she is supposed to be here!
她可以先假装 然后真正做到
Like, she can fake it, she can become it.
所以我像这样说 “不 不是 你就该在这儿
So I was like, “Yes, you are! You are supposed to be here!
明天你假装自己充满自信
And tomorrow you’re going to fake it,
慢慢让自己真正自信 然后
you’re going to make yourself powerful, and, you know —
然后你走进教室
And you’re going to go into the classroom,
你将会得到从未有过的好评价”
and you are going to give the best comment ever.”
你们知道吗 她真的得到了从未有过的最好评价
You know? And she gave the best comment ever,
同学们转过身 像这样
and people turned around and were like,
我的天 我以前从没注意到她坐在这儿
oh my God, I didn’t even notice her sitting there.
几个月后 她再来找我
She comes back to me months later,
那时我意识到她不再是假装了 她是真的做到了
and I realized that she had not just faked it till she made it,
她确实由假装变成了真正成为那样的人
she had actually faked it till she became it.
她变了
So she had changed.
所以我想告诉大家 在做到之前 请一直假装做到
And so I want to say to you, don’t fake it till you make it.
在真正成为某种人之前 请一直假装做那种人
Fake it till you become it.
一直那样做 直到你真的做到 由内而外地变好
Do it enough until you actually become it and internalize.
最后一件我要向你们传达的事是
The last thing I’m going to leave you with is this.
微小的调整也会造成巨大的变化
Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes.
这是两分钟
So, this is two minutes.
两分钟 两分钟 又一个两分钟
Two minutes, two minutes, two minutes.
在你面临下一个令人紧张的 被评估的境地之前
Before you go into the next stressful evaluative situation,
用两分钟做这件事 不管是在电梯
for two minutes, try doing this, in the elevator,
还是厕所里 或是紧闭之门后的书桌前
in a bathroom stall, at your desk behind closed doors.
(告诉自己)这是你想要做的事
That’s what you want to do.
把你的大脑调整为适应此种情境的最佳状态
Configure your brain to cope the best in that situation.
提高睾酮水平 降低皮质醇
Get your testosterone up. Get your cortisol down.
别让自己遗憾 哎 我没有向他们展示出最真实的自己
Don’t leave that situation feeling like, oh, I didn’t show them who I am.
而要这样
Leave that situation feeling like,
我真的觉得我表达和展示出了真实的自我
I really feel like I got to say who I am and show who I am.
所以 首先 我想要你们尝试有力的姿势
So I want to ask you first, you know, both to try power posing,
并且与他人分享科学知识 这很简单
and also I want to ask you to share the science, because this is simple.
不要自负
I don’t have ego involved in this.
不要想那么多 只管和人们分享科学知识
Give it away. Share it with people,
因为最能好好利用它们的人
because the people who can use it the most
往往是那些没有资源 没有技术
are the ones with no resources and no technology
没有地位 没有权利的人
and no status and no power.
把这些知识告诉他们 因为他们会在私下去实践
Give it to them because they can do it in private.
他们需要知道身体语言的意义 独处空间和那两分钟
They need their bodies, privacy and two minutes,
这会对他们一生的结局产生重要的改变
and it can significantly change the outcomes of their life.
谢谢
Thank you.

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视频概述

所谓“言谈举止”,顾名思义,就是说,我们的语言不光从口中说出,也会从“举止”中表现出来,这就是我们的肢体语言。这也是别人评价你的为人的一个方面,故,“宜早图之”。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

启点—飞雪群山

审核员

祐子祐

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc

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