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忘掉文化束缚|三件事找到真正的目标 – 译学馆
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忘掉文化束缚|三件事找到真正的目标

You Will Never Look At Life The Same | Why You DON'T Achieve Your Goals | Vishen Lakhiani

实际的建议——绝对动力Vishen Lakhiani——为什么设定目标是远远不够的
正如我在书中所讲的
so what I write about in my book is
学习如何逃离文化束缚
how to study the culture escape
分享了对我们所存在的主观现实的看法
that shared subjective reality we are living in
同时明确哪些规则能帮助你
and identify what rules help you
哪些规则确实是胡扯的
and what rules are really or bullshit rules
哪些规则会妨碍你真正过上你最精彩的生活
the rules that hold you back from truly living your most extraordinary life
我举一个胡扯的规则例子 好吧
So, I’m giving an example of bullshit rule, right?
在印度家庭中成长的人
So, growing up in an Indian family,
一定要成功的压力很大
There is a lot of pressure to be successful
如果你有一个印度朋友 尤其是像我一样住在印度境外的印度移民
So, if you have an Indian friends, he’ll probably say this as well
他也许也会说
especially Indian immigrants like me who live outside India
你的家庭会强迫你成为一名律师 医生 或者工程师
that, your family pushes you to be a lawyer, a doctor, or an engineer
并且如果你不是其中任何一个 你就是家族耻辱
And if you’re not any of that, you’re family embarrassment.
所以印度小孩长大后就会成为律师 医生 工程师 或者家族的耻辱
So Indian kids grow up to be lawyers, doctors, engineers or family faliures.
就我而言 我爱艺术 我想学艺术
So in my case, I loved art, I wanted to studied art.
我爱表现艺术 我爱站在舞台上表演
I love performing art, I love getting on stage and acting
我爱摄影 但是当我在上学的时候
I loved phptography but when I went to school
我认为艺术家 或者我想成为艺术家的想法
I view artists, the idea of me being an artist as disappointing my family
是会令家人失望的 是失败
the opposite of success
所以我申请了计算机工程师课程
So I signed up for computer engineering classes
我在密歇根大学努力学习
I studied hard,
去上那些我根本不感兴趣并且觉得无聊得如地狱一般的课程
went to all of these boring as hell classes that I had no interest in at the university of Michigan
就是为了五年之后我可以获得一份微软的工作
So that five years later, I can get a job in Microsoft.
我也确实进了微软 为比尔盖茨工作
And now, boom, I was in, I was working for Bill Gates.
我在微软了 当初我的家人拼命省下十多万美元
I was at Microsoft my family you know dead saved up
就为了我能接受大学教育
over a hundred grand for this college
现在我成为了一名微软的程序员
education and now I was a software guy
但是在微软工作了11周后
at Microsoft 11 weeks into Microsoft I
我发觉我很痛苦
realized I was miserable and I
于是我不干了 我把自己炒了鱿鱼
quit cold-turkey I basically got myself fired
在我本应该工作的时候
I had no motivation
我没有任何工作的动力
for work when I was supposed to be in the office and I
我承认 每当我对编程感到无聊的时候
confess and I’m so apologetic to my
我就会停止工作去玩帝国时代
boss I would just pull myself up and play Age
为此我对我的老板感到很抱歉
of Empires because I was so bored
最终 我被我的老板逮到了
with programming my boss caught me and he
老板把我炒了 然后我才发现那正是我期待的结果
fired me and I wanted that to happen
我才意识到这五年来
I realized that for five years
我一直在追求一些自己丝毫不感兴趣的事情
I was pursuing something that I had no interest
就是由于文化束缚的规则
in because the rules of the cultural escape
或者说是作为一个印度裔小孩
or being an Indian
被期望成为一个软件工程师的原因
kid said be a software programmer
所以我辞职了 我从Elena辞职然后加入了一个非盈利机构
so I quit I quitElena joined a non-profit and that’s
那才是我人生的起点
really when my life began i
我经历了许多事情
din different things from from traveling
从环游世界 到冥想 到艺术
around the world to meditation to
但是正是通过这些热情
art but it was through following these
通过忽略那些文化束缚中所谓的规则
passions it was through ignoring the bullshit rules
我才真正
of the culture escape but
辨别出究竟是什么在驱动我
really identifying what really drove me
是什么让我饱含热情
what made me passionate that I was able
才拥有了今天的生活
to build a life I have today and
同时这也是为什么我会如此执着于
that’s really why I’m so adamant about teaching
通过我的工作
people through my work
通过我的书去教导人们 质疑一切
through my my books the question everything to
质疑你的宗教信仰
question your religion to question your
质疑你的社会规则
societal rules the question the idea of
质疑一份大学文凭的规则 那就是我觉得
a college degree that’s how I feel all
我们所有人应该这样生活的理由
of us should be living life by
质疑一切
questioning everything and I don’t
不是说要怀疑每件事 这不一样
mean being skeptical of everything there’s a diffrence
我的意思是 正确的怀疑态度本质是
I mean healthy skepticism ultimately
质疑文化束缚的规则
questioning the rules of the culture escape
从而让我们可以真实地
so we can stay true to our own
面对我们的内在特质 所以我认为
inner identity so I think the idea
西方社会中 目标设定的观点
of goal-setting in the Western world is
是没有价值的
rubbish because here’s what happened
因为实际发生的是 当你让人们去设置目标时
when you ask people to set goals even if
即使你教他们方法论
you teach them methodologies
比如SMART目标设置原则 你只是
like Smar T SMART goal setting you are basically
在鼓励他们基于相同的文化认识
encouraging people to set goals based
在它的限制框架中
on that same culture escape with its
来设立目标 所以尤其是
restricting rules so people especially
在美国 人们是按照这条路径来设立自己的目标
in the United States set goals along the
好 我需要好的成绩
lines of this ok we need to get good grades
让我可以从高中毕业
so I can graduate high school so
再去一所好的大学
I can get into a good college you
然后只需要努力学习来得到较高的绩点
need to study hard to get a good GPA so maybe
所以或许我可以去读研究生
I can go to graduate school
所以可能我可以在法学院入学考表现不错
so maybe I can do well in my LSAT that becomes the
下一个目标 进入法学院 再下一个
next goal get into law school the next goal graduate
从法学院毕业
from law school get into a
去律所 成为律师 这就是
partnership become a lawyer and that’s
青少年经常规划的人生道路
how teenagers often think about their
这就像是一系列他们需要通过的关卡
life these series of like tics that they have to go
但是实际上
through but here’s what
会发生什么 我们可以看一看 看一下律师
happens let’s actually look at that let’s look
美国50%的律师
at lawyers 50 % of lawyers in
确诊抑郁症 这不仅仅是在美国
America are clinically depressed it’s not
澳大利亚也做了类似的研究
just the US I think Australia truly did a similar study
所以为什么孩子们进入这些行业
so why are kids going into these professions
最后获得一份工作
where they end up in a job
曾经被认为是一个目标远大的工作
that they thought was a good goal at one point only to find themselves
却只发现自己非常痛苦
absolutely miserable and I say that
我有自信这么说是因为
with some confidence because I at a certain
我曾经在
point was working
法律行业工作 我出售技术给法律公司
in the legal industry I was selling technology to law firms
我会和律师通过电话交流
and I would speak to lawyers on thephone and
并发现那里正在发生什么
diagnose what was going on in there in
就在他们的法律公司里
in in their law firm said it was
我非常震惊地发现 他们之中有那么多人
shocking how many of them actually hated their
厌恶自己的工作并且想要离开 但是
jobs and wanted to quit but why is
为什么青少年
it the teenagers go
要成为这样的人 不只是律师
into these roles now it’s not just law it’s not just lawyers
我们设定目标 要拥有两辆车
we set our goals to have two cars
要在某个尺寸的房子里 要结婚
in a house of a certain size to be in a
因为这些目标不是
marriage it’s because these goals aren’t coming
从我们的内心出发的 它们是
from inside us they’re coming
来自于文化束缚
from the culture escape
文化束缚事实上是一种安全机制
in the culture escape is basically a safety net
因为你知道 在漫长的
mechanism you see for the longest time
人类历史上 我们必须互相戒备
in human history we had to watch out for
那时有仓单 有疾病
each other there were warrants there
回溯千年以前
were disease go back a thousand years
那时还有会杀死你的野兽
there were wild animals that might
所以你必须遵守文化束缚中的一定规则
kill you so you had to follow certain rules
以便在这些危险之中存活下来
of the culture escape to stay safer
获得良好的教育
among these were get a good education so
因此你不必被限制在工厂里工作
you are not stuck in a factory job
你可以做蓝领的工作
so that you can have a blue-collar job it
然后结婚
was get married so
如果你是女性 你会有一个配偶
if you’re a woman you have a man to provide for you it was
拥有五个孩子 因为你知道
half five kids because you know
如果回到五十年前 婴儿死亡率
if you go back 50 years ago infant mortality
是如此之高 以至于你需要五个孩子
was so much higher you had five kids –
其中两个可能会夭折 但是
we’re gon na probably pass away but the
问题是 人们仍旧遵循同样的规则
problem is people continue with these same rules
在今天的世界
in today’s world when
所有一切都已经改变了
everything has changed so the question
所以这件事的问题是 我不相信目标设定
of the thing is I don’t believe in goal
因为当你教授传统的目标设定
setting because when you teachtraditional goal setting people are
人们会被限制在这种文化束缚的规则里
locked in to the rules
下面是我的建议
of the culture escape so here’s what I suggest
我建议我们问自己
I suggest we ask ourselves three
三个问题 我称这三个问题为
questions and I call these the three
最重要的问题
most important questions now the first
第一个问题是
question is this it’s what experiences
我想要什么样的经历
do I want to have okay now I
我会告诉你为什么那很重要
tell you why that’s important you see there are
有两种类型的目标 它们是手段目标
two types of goals there are means goals
和终点目标 所以人们倾向于
and their end goals so people tend to
去追求手段目标
chase means goals not realizing these
却没有意识到它们与终点目标不一样
are very different from end goals the
手段目标是
means goal is do well
在法学院入学考试表现不错 从大学毕业
in my LSAT graduate from college get that
获得某个特别的工作 为退休攒钱
particular job save up for retirement but
但是如果你问这些人
if you ask these people why do you
为什么你们想要这些 答案总是
want that there’s always a so well
我想 我想 我想有资格进入大学
I wan na I wan na I want to qualify for
所以我可以做这个
college so I can do this I want
我想 我想成为律师 所以我可以做这个
to get it want to become a lawyer so I can do
但是灵魂会指引你拥有
this well the soul leads you to the
终点目标 终点目标是什么
end goal now what our end goals angles are
终点目标会真正指引我们
these things that really we lead
到达作为人类的美好
to the the beauty of being human
那是早上在你深爱的人身边醒来
it’s waking up next to someone you
那是抱着你的第一个孩子
madly love it’s holding your first child in
在你的臂弯里
your arms it’s having a
那是拥有一条小狗 是第一次看见你的生意开张
puppy it’s seeing your business open for the first
这些 你其实是知道的
time it’s making that you know getting
比如获得第一个顾客 完成你的第一本书
that first customer it’s completing your
或创造一份艺术作品
first book it’s creating a work
有人来欣赏它 并且
of art and having people admire it and fall in
爱上它 这些就是
love with it these are
终点目标 所以我所提倡
in goals so what I advocate is and the three most
那三个最重要的问题是 忘记手段目标
important question is forget the means
手段目标是
goals means goals are goals designed by
被文化束缚所设定 相反地
the culture scape instead go straight
拥有终点目标 第一个你问自己的问题
to the end goals now the first question you
来确定你的终点目标
ask yourself to identify your end
问自己想要有什么样的经历
goal says what experiences do I want to have
在我的生命里 这时
in life and this is where
你开始写下你的经历
you start writing down your experiences and you
当我做这个练习的时候
know when I do this exercise I ask
我让人们拿出一张纸
people to take out a piece of paper draw
画三列 如果你正在看视频
three columns so if you’re watching do
马上这样做 拿出一张纸
that right now take out a piece of paper
画三列
three columns top
在第一列的开头 你将写下经历
of the first column you’re gon na write down experiences
写并且问自己 什么样的经历
write and ask yourself what experiences do I
是我想要的 我希望在醒来的时候
want to have who do I want to wake
旁边睡着的是谁
up with what type
我想住在什么样的房子里 我想去哪个国家
of our live in what countries do I want to visit where do I
我想去哪里旅游 我想有什么样的冒险经历
want to travel to what adventures do I want to have
不论是攀登基那巴卢山
whether it’s climbing Mount
或者是在安第斯山脉远足
Kinabalu or hiking the Andes what type
我想要怎样的家庭生活 我想要什么样的狗
of family life do I want what dog do I
关于经历 最美好的事情是 他们通常不要求
want the beautiful thing aboutexperiences is often they don’t require
许多的金钱 非常的疯狂的是
that much money it’s crazy
我们经常把金钱与幸福联系在一起 但是
we associate money with happiness that often the most
通常生活中最美好的经历不要求金钱
beautiful experiences in life required no
现在几乎任何人类
money almost any human being today
可以坠入爱河
can fall in love can make
可以拥有孩子 那是一些我曾拥有的
a baby these are some of the most profound
最深刻的经历
experiences I’ve had
所以首先你需要列一个经历的清单
so the first thing is you make a list of your experiences
现在第二件事情是 你问自己这个问题
now the second thing is you ask yourself this question
对我而言 成为拥有这些经历的男人
for me to be the man or
或者女人
woman who has all
我需要怎样成长 这里我们就有了
of these experiences how do I have to grow and here we come
第二个清单 我相信
to the second list see I believe we
我们是在地球上拥有人类经历的灵魂
are souls having a human experience here on
但是这些灵魂不只是在这里
planet Earthbut these souls are not just here to
探索关于人类的精彩的事情
explore all of these wonderful things
我相信作为灵魂
about being human I believe as as souls
作为人类 我们需要成长
as human beings we create group
人类是成长驱动的机器
human beings are growth driven machines and so
所以你制作第二个清单 这个清单是
you make that second list and thatsecond list is
我想怎样成长 我怎样可以
how do I want to grow how can
学习成长为一个更好的父亲 一个更好的配偶
I learn to be a better father a better spouse a
一个更好的爱人 你想学习什么语言
better lover what languages do you want to
你想学乐器么
learn do you want to learn a musical
你想学写作么
instrument do you want to learn to write
你想学会玩某种运动么
do you want to learn to play a
或者是学习某种技能
particular sport or learn a particular
许多人没有意识到的
skill what many people don’t realize
关于这个世界 就是成长本身就是一种目标
about the world is that growth is a goal
它是最重要的事情之一
in itself it’s one of the key things
驱使我们作为人类向前
that drive us forward
但是极少数的人写下成长
as human beings but very few people write down growth as
作为目标
goals it’s
这是因为试图在教我们成长的教育体制
because the education system which tries to teach us to grow true
实际上在强迫学习 这使许多人恐惧学习
forced learning makes many people dread
所以成长成为第二个清单
learning so growth becomes that second
现在你需要列出
list now you have to list
你的经历和你的成长
your experiences and your growth now you ask
现在你问自己第三个问题
yourself the third question and the
第三个问题就是
third question is this to be that man or
成为拥有所有这些经历的
woman who has all
男人或者女人 以这样的方式成长
of these experiences to be that man a woman who has grown in
我怎样能够回报这个世界
such a way how can I give back
问那个问题最重要的原因
to the world this very important reason for
达赖喇嘛说过
that question the Dalai Lama said
如果你想要快乐 那就让他人快乐
if you want to be happy make other people happy
而且我相信
and I believe
当你做这三个最重要的问题
that when you do these three most important questions that
第三个范畴是真正能够
third category is what truly leads
带来满足感的 因为只有这个时候你才真正成长
to fulfillment it’s when you can take your
才真正丰富了你的经历
growth you can take your experiences
对同伴的灵魂做出贡献
and contribute to fellow souls contribute to
对人类种族做出贡献 你已经学会了企业家精神 –成功地指导别人
the human race you’ve learnedentrepreneurship great mentor someone
指导一个想到达那里的孩子
mentor a kid who wants to get there
你有能力找到
you you have the ability to sing figure out
怎样使用它来传递
how to use it to deliver
美丽的音乐来激励人们
you know beautiful music to inspire people so
所以你的贡献清单会成为你
your list of contributions becomes your steps
回报世界的一步又一步
for you to give back to the world
因为那会使你超越纯粹的快乐
because that takes you beyond pure happiness
到达满足
into fulfillment now when you
现在当你有了这个清单 经历 成长和贡献
have this list experiences growth and
就会成为你的目标清单
contribution this becomes your goal list
其他所有的事情都只是手段目标
everything else is just a means
当我开始做这个清单
goal now when I started creating this I found
我发现它可以让我
that it allowed me to rewire
避开那么多所谓的规则
my brain to shortcut and bypass so many bullshit
直接走向那些
rules to go straight to these
最终的东西 直接走向
final items to go straight to ways I could
我可以贡献的道路 可以成长的道路
contribute ways I could grow ways
可以拥有这些美好经历的道路
I could have these beautiful experiences
而且这些总是非常规的
and often these were unconventional it’s
就像是当我创立公司时
like when I started my company I
我没有
didn’t work
和任何投资者或者风投合作 我决定开创我自己的大学
with any investors or VCS I decided to start my own University
它在巴塞罗那
which is happening
这些都实现了 因为当你解决了
in Barcelona but it all came because when you have done the
这三个最重要的问题后
three most important questions you get
你就可以绕过那些文化束缚的规则
to short-circuit the rules of the
找到更容易通往人类真正圆满的道路。
culture scape and figure out shorterparts towards true human fulfillment

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视频概述

曾经的微软工程师,放弃世俗眼中“成功”的工作,追随内心,最终寻找到生命真正的圆满。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

小盒子

审核员

审核员SX

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9D90SULk3A

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