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我们有时难以“活在当下”的原因 – 译学馆
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我们有时难以“活在当下”的原因

Why We Sometimes Don't Feel 'In The Moment'

生命中充满着我们定会有所感触的瞬间
Life is full of moments where we are meant to feel certain things.
在幼儿时期
The demand starts
这种需求便产生了
in early childhood:
生日时——我们应该感到开心
it’s our birthday – and we are meant to feel happy.
爸爸要离家两个星期
Dad is going away
我们也会觉得难过
for two weeks – and we should feel sad.
学校赢了团队运动比赛
Our school has won at team sports – and
我们应该想和大家一起唱庆祝的歌曲
we should want to join in with a celebratorysong.
成年后这种情绪指令也将继续
Adulthood continues the injunctions:
我们会在葬礼上感到崩溃
We should feel devastated at funerals,
在婚礼上受到触动 感觉充满希望
touched and hopeful at weddings, enthused and moved
对我们的家庭充满热情和感动 在假期时感到无忧无虑
by our families, carefree on holiday – and,
与喜欢的人同床时
in bed with someone we like, exclusively focused
只关注于这件事情本身和它的乐趣
on the act and its pleasures.
事实上 我们的思绪很少和外界事件一致
But in truth, our thoughts are seldom exactly in sync with
它们倾向是凌乱的 脱离现实的 难以驾驭的
outward events. They have tendencies to bevagabond, unfaithful and unruly.
我们很少能确切的感受到本应该感受到的
We rarely feel exactly what we’re meant to when we’remeant to.
我们因生活产生的情感而起伏
Our emotions follow the script of
就好比一部字幕滞后且错误的外国电影
life with the lag and distortions of a badly subtitled foreign film.
但也有很多合理的原因
Yet there are a host
来解释这个现象
of good reasons for this:
我们的内心冲突比
– There’s a lot more ambivalence in our hearts than we
我们在公开场合允许表达的要多
are ever allowed to own up to in public.
我们可能深爱着某些人 但同时对他们
We may love certain people deeply but at the
也怀揣着强烈但可以理解的怨恨和愤怒
same time harbour profound and understandableresentments and rage against them.
难怪本应该在葬礼上痛哭的我们很少那样哭泣
No wonder we don’t always cry as deeply as we should at funerals.
为了过好这一生
aslo to get through life, we need
我们需要学会隐藏自己的情绪
to grow a tough hide;
我们不得不学会逃避和拒绝投入
we have to learn not to feel and not to register certain things
会带来消极情绪的事情
that pass through consciousness.
尤其是那些我们中在很小的年纪就遭受
Those amongus who’ve suffered the most, especially
生活痛楚的人
at an early age,
不得不让自己精于回避情感
have had to grow masters of the art of occasional non-feeling.
难怪
No wonder
到了流露脆弱和敞开心扉的时候
then that, when the time comes for vulnerability and openness,
我们总是难以
we might not always so easily be able
联结自己更柔软的内心
to access our more tender emotions.
幸福 变得那么的遥不可及
– Happinesscan be extremely worrying to register.
我们
We
是用焦虑保护自身的生物
are creatures who defend ourselves
不会因为休几天假
through anxiety and can not always readily give up
暂时生活安逸
our vigilance, simply because we have a few days
就轻易降低我们的警觉性
off work and there’s a line of palm
我们可能会对大型群体敏感多疑
trees ahead. – We may have grown suspicious
并幻想其狭隘与残酷的程度
of large groups and fear their capacity for
从而产生恐惧感
intolerance and cruelty.
因此对于我们来说
It may therefore be tricky
以任何简单的方式加入
for us to join in in any uncomplicated
公共狂欢和庆祝 可能是很困难的
way with communal cheering and celebration.
我们可能会有一些当下有理有据的埋怨
We may have some well-founded background resentments
去对抗聚会的需求
against collective demands.
最后 我们的情感通常要慢于
– Finally, ouremotions tend to move far more slowly than
外界的事情发展
do events in the outer world.
所谓的正确感觉也会适时显现
The so-calledright feelings may well show up, but rather
但比预期要晚
later than one might expect.
我们的确在假日期间感到愉快
We do eventuallyfeel grateful at the way the holiday went,
不过是在放完假的三个月之后
but three months after we’ve returned.
我们确实表明我们在恋爱 或很崩溃
Wedo register that we are in love, or devastated
亦或是处于悲伤和恐惧中
or in mourning or scared,
但不是我们外面的世界想要的那么快
but not as soon as the world outside us might like.
身体内部的时钟
The inner
有它自己的节奏和季节
clock has its own rhythms and seasons that
他们不会简单的遵循外部的日期变化
won’t easily obey the outer calendar.
基本上
Ultimately,
我们通常没有“活在当下”
we often aren’t ‘ in the moment ’,
我们在任何时候都有一张错误的地图
because we have the wrong map of what should be thought
显示了什么应该被认为是正常的
normal at any given moment.
错的是我们的设想而不是我们的情绪
It’s our expectations,rather that our emotions, that are at fault.
为了自助
To help ourselves,
我们应该更好地接纳
we should create a culture which better accommodates the weirder truths
我们的真实情感
of the way we work:
而不是强迫自己“应该”去感受什么
that does not have such a strong script about what should be felt
在那里我们更愿意
– and where we are more ready to
接受我们更为复杂的情绪
accept the greater complexities of our minds.
如果
A lover
你没有对爱人频频施压
who isn’t always there in the act might return
也许他会做出改变
if they aren’t pressured to do so
如果我们不去要求
too actively; someone who isn’t happy
那些假期不开心的人时刻保持微笑
on holiday might grow a little more so if we
也许他们会笑得更多些
don’t demand that they smile all the time;
如果结婚纪念日闷闷不乐的人
someone who isn’t delighted at a wedding
能一开始就被理解 被允许少许的不开心
anniversary could eventually celebrate ifthey were first allowed to be (understandably)
他们最后也会一起庆祝的
a bit sad as well.
我们应该更尊重自己原来的样子
We should have greaterrespect for the way we’re built.
不能拥有当下理应具备的情感
Not being
并不意味着
able to be in the moment isn’t a sign
我们很奇怪或是存有缺陷
that we are strange or defective, but that we have
而是我们开始学着去忠于自己内心
started to be rightly faithfulto ourselves.
我们的智慧展示卡片探索着
Our wisdom display cards explore what it really means
智慧的真正含义以及我们如何努力
to be wise and how we can strive to
在生活中成为一个更开明的人
become more enlightened in our everyday lives.

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有时我们无法活在当下的原因是什么

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