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为什么我们应该表现出我们的痛苦,而不是抱怨 – 译学馆
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为什么我们应该表现出我们的痛苦,而不是抱怨

Why we should show our hurt rather than argue

真的特别厌恶 你知道吗
So sick of it, you know?
这个工作 我不想做了
The job. Don’t think I can do it anymore.
但是这个工作薪金很高啊
But it pays a lot.
我告诉过你了
I’ve told you.
我不是…
I’m not…
我不在乎
It doesn’t matter.
这并不是我想做的 并不是…
It’s not what I want to do. It’s not…
这不是我是谁的问题
It’s not who I am.
你要知道自己有多大的本事
Until you know who you are,
再去做
you just got to carry on with it.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
我刚刚在看一些东西
I’m just checking something.
什么?现在吗?嗯 是的
-What? Now?-Yeah.It’s…
现在做那个重要吗?嗯就几秒钟的事儿
-It’s important to do that now?-Yeah. It’ll just be a sec.
我们大多数人都很容易对伤害我们的人生气
We are-most of us-very good at getting angry when our partners hurt us.
自私!
Selfish.
自私?
Selfish?
我就看看手机里维罗妮卡怎么样了?
For checking my phone to see if Veronica is alright?
你在刷脸书没有 我没有
-You’re on Facebook.-No, I’m not on Facebook.
你知道什么?如果我们需要给自私下个定义
And you know what? If we need a definition of selfish,
或者自我中心下个定义 对不起,但是
or self-centered, I’m sorry, but,
是……
It’s…
我吗?
Oh me?
我们总是在回顾那些伤害过我们的人或事
We’re expert at getting back at those who’ve woulded us.
没错 我是那个自私的人 因为
You’re right. I’m the one who is selfish because,
好像不是我花了整个周末陪你母亲在花园似的
It’s not like I spent all of the last weekend in the garden with your mother.
你说你喜欢除草的
You said you like mowing.
那是我的客套话 你知道吗
I was being polite, you know.
不 那叫重写历史
No, It’s called rewriting history.
几分钟之内 我们的争论迅速升级
Within minutes, our arguments may have muchroomrd.
我有病 好吧
So I’m fat, am I?
我不是那个意思 吉兹
I didn’t say that. Geez.
为什么你非得说得我那么难听呢?
Why would you have to put such awful words in my mouth?
什么?难道我应该取悦你吗?你什么意思?吉姆
What? Was I not flattering? What’s that supposed to mean? Jim.
很快我们就忘了开始的问题是什么了
Soon enough, it can be hard to remember what the original problem even was.
上个圣诞节的事儿怎么样?你迟到了半个小时
What about the work during last Christmas?You were half an hour late.
你怎么解释你让我看起来像个傻瓜?好吧 吉姆 是简的生日
-How’d you explain that you made me like an idiot?-Come on, Jim. Jane’s birthday.
我一直在给你打电话 你不接电话
I’m calling and calling and calling you. You don’t pick up the phone.
你一直在说对不起而不说出真相你什么都没说 是不是
-You can’t just keep bringing it out by saying sorry.-You have nothing to say, have you?
没什么可说的你不能只说对不起却不告诉我什么事
-Nothing to say that.-You can’t just keep bringing things out by saying sorry.
不 没用
No, it’s useless.
有一个方法结束这种互相指责
There is one way to end the cycle of recrimination.
而不是生气
Rather than getting angry,
我们应该用一种中立和平和的态度处理同伴对我们造成的伤害
we should try neutrally calmly to reveal to our partner the hurt they have caused us.
我们倒回去看一看怎么处理
Let’s rewind to show how to do this.
只有你弄清楚自己是谁
Until yourself find out who you are,
你才能做该做的 亲爱的
You’re gonna have to just carry on, love.
问题就在这 我们敢把自己的伤疤暴露给对方 所以就要接受对方的攻击
This is where, rather than hit back, we can dare to reveal hurt.
这就是我们常常可能做的
And this is how we might do it.
宝贝
Babe.
你介意把手机放下几秒钟吗?
Would you mind if you put the phone down for a second?
为什么?
Why?
我在尝试跟你讨论关于工作的事儿
I’m just trying to talk to you about this job thing.
你拿着手机 就像
And when you take the phone on, it feels like,
谈话结束了
conversation over.
我知道这很愚蠢 但是我就是有点
I know it’s stupid but I’ve got a bit of,
有点脆弱 所以当你做一些我不喜欢的事情时 我觉得对我是一种打击
a bit of fragile ego, so when you do something I don’t like, it sort of takes a bit of hit.
我知道会无聊
And I know it’s boring.
工作谈话 因为我已经做过很多次了 你早已经听了很多次了 这很傻
The job conversation. Cuz I’ve done it a million times. You’ve heard it and it’s silly.
我不应该 我知道 我不应该
And I shouldn’t, I know, I shouldn’t, I don’t know.
(总是这样)我不知道(如果我们总是对伤害我们的人宽容
If we’re always immediately mean to people who’ve hurt us,
就等于给了他们肆意伤害我们的理由)
we’re giving them the perfect reason not to listen to us.
不 一点也不傻
No. It’s not silly at all.
实在抱歉 我只是……
I’m so sorry. I just, oh.
吉姆 我真的一直没有在认真听你讲话 我做的过分了
Jim, I haven’t been focusing really, I’ve had such a lot on and,
你一定讨厌我了
Oh you must hate me.
不 当然 我不会讨厌你 我当然不会讨厌你
No, of course I don’t hate you. Of course I don’t hate you.
我不知道该跟你说什么了
I just don’t know what beyonds talk to you.
对不起 让你无法顺利表达
I’m sorry you don’t favourably coat.
对不起
Sorry.
那是我的朋友
That’s my friends.
我知道你会这样说
I knew you’d say something like that.
就像 你的 你的朋友从来不会邀请我参与那些事情因为你也不会 可恶
-Like, your, your friends never invite me to things.-Because you don’t, damn.
这就是我们相处的模式不是这样的
-That’s how we works.-That’s, that’s not true.
上个周日你被喜欢的你想要去认识的人邀请
Only last Sunday, you were invited somebody you like to know.
不 我只是去见了 我们只是见了Ben 但是……
-“No, gonna see Ben. We’re gonna see Ben.”-But…
是的 我只是在日记里记录了点东西
Yes. I already had something in the diary.
我没有去因为不 你一直说把它放在日记里 放在日记里
-I didn’t go just because…-No, you keep saying put it in the diary, put it in the diary
把它放在日记里 其它的我什么都不知道
and put it in the diary and I don’t know anything else.
好吧 我不知道 不知道你的朋友真是让人讨厌 而且你知道这件事
Well, I knew, knew the thing is your friends are terrible. And you know that.
为什么你从不真的说出来呢哦 天呐
-That’s, that’s why you never really say it.-Oh my God.
所有的事都让我想到几天前你跟我们去逛街……你曾经对我说过的话
With all such a sense you hang out with us a couple of days I’ve got…-You’ve said it to me.
在学校的时候 我们相信提升情绪智力
At the school of life, we believe in developing emotional intelligence.
为了那个结果 我们我想出了许多方法去支持它的成长
To that end, we’ve also created a whole range of products to support that growth.
现在在屏幕上我们在关系方面清楚了更多
Find out more at the link on the screen now.

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视频概述

视频主要讲了我们常常与伙伴因为某些问题而争论,我们应该以怎样的态度来对待这些争论

听录译者

Carrina

翻译译者

孙卫卫

审核员

审核团HL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlzHNY2SWps

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