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为什么我们要向古希腊人重新学习爱? – 译学馆
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为什么我们要向古希腊人重新学习爱?

Why We Need Ancient Greek Words for Love

爱是我们最高的价值取向
Love is our highest value
我们都在追求爱并相信爱是人性的基础
what we all crave and what we believe makes us fundamentally human,
但同时爱也是我们大量焦虑的源头
but it is also the source of considerable anxiety.
最主要的 我们总担心自己是否完全正常
Chiefly, we worry whether we are entirely normal.
因为我们经常觉得 自己似乎没有用正常的方式经历爱
Because it frequently feels as if we are not experiencing love the way we should be.
社会对这方面的规范非常敏感
Society is subtly highly prescriptive in this regard.
社会总是默认作为一个体面人 我们都应该拥有两性关系
It suggests that to be a decent person, we should all be within sexual relationships.
此外 在这些关系里 我们还应该以一种很特别的方式去“爱”
And furthermore, that within these, we should ‘love’ in a very particular way.
我们应该时刻都被伴侣的一举一动牵动心神
We should be constantly thrilled by our partner’s.
在每次分别后都应该长久的思念对方
We should long to see them after every absence.
我们应该渴望拥他入怀 相互亲吻
We should crave to hold them in our arms, to kiss and be kissed by them.
而最重要的是 我们要几乎每天都想与对方发生性关系
And – most of all – want to have sex with them every day or so.
换句话说 我们应当终生以浪漫为信条
In other words, we should follow the script of Romantic ecstasy throughout our lives.
这在理论上很美好但实际执行起来有如受刑
This is beautiful in theory and hugely punitive in practice.
如果我们这样定义爱并将这作为生活的常态
If we’re going to define love like this and peg the idea of normality accordingly.
我们中的大多数人恐怕不得不尴尬地承认 我们并不怎么了解爱
Then most of us will have to admit to ourselves, probably with considerable embarrassment, that we don’t know much about love.
因而 不用证明自己是体面的 理智的或是正常的人
And therefore don’t qualify as decent, sane, or normal people.
我们制造出的这种狂热的“爱”其实远超出了我们在两性关系中的实际体验
We’ve created a cult of love radically out of line with most of our real experiences of relationships.
这时古希腊人的理论就派上用场了
This is where the Ancient Greeks can help.
他们早就认识到 爱分为很多种
They realised early on that there are many kinds of love.
每一种都有各自的作用及黄金期
Each with their respective virtues and seasons.
而一个良好的社会需要我们用正确的词语来形容心灵的不同状态
And that a good society requires us to append a correct vocabulary to these different states of the heart,
以使他们每一种都是合乎情理的
lending each one legitimacy in the process.
古希腊人将我们在一段关系刚开始时体验到的那种强大的生理感觉
The Greeks anointed the powerful physical feelings we often experience at the start of a relationship.
叫做“爱欲”
With the word ‘eros’ (ἔρως).
但他们也知道 随着性吸引力的减退爱情也变得并非必需
But they knew that love is not necessarily over when this sexual intensity wanes.
绝大部分的情侣关系在一年左右的时间后就会如此
As it almost always does after a year or so in a relationship.
然后我们的情感就会演变成另一种爱
Our feelings can then evolve into another sort of love.
希腊人称之为“友爱”(希腊语:φιλία)
They captured with the word ‘philia’ (φιλία).
通常翻译为“友情”
Normally translated as ‘friendship’.
尽管如此 希腊词还是比相应的英语词语更加温情 忠诚 感动
Though the Greek word is far warmer, more loyal and more touching than its English counterpart.
某个人可能会愿意为了“友爱”而献出生命
One might be willing to die for ‘philia’.
亚里士多德认为成熟后的我们不再拥有年轻时的“爱欲”
Aristotle recommended that we outgrow eros in youth.
而对于我们来说一段关系的基础 尤其是婚姻基础 则是“友爱”
And then base our relationships, especially our marriages, on a philosophy of philia.
第三个词给我们所理解的关系增加了一个虽然细微但很重要的不同
The word adds an important nuance to our understanding of a viable union.
即我们知道自己在爱
It allows us to see that we may still love.
尽管我们在某个时期无法用语言去形容这种爱
Even when we are in a phase that our own, more one-sided vocabulary fails to value.
这就是希腊人用于爱的第三个词语:博爱(希腊语:ἀγάπη)
The Greeks had a third word for love: agape (ἀγάπη).
最好的翻译是仁慈的爱
This can be best translated as a charitable love.
这是说我们可能看到某个人言行败坏或者我们因为他性格的缺点而受伤
It’s what we might feel towards someone who has behaved rather badly or come to grief through flaws of character.
但我们仍对他怀有同情
But for whom we still feel compassion.
这就像上帝对待他的臣民
It’s what a God might feel for his or her people, or what an audience might feel for a tragic character in a play.
又或者是观众对于戏剧中悲剧主角时的感觉
Or what an audience might feel for a tragic character in a play.
相比较强壮有力 这样的爱在有弱点的关系中更易体现
It’s the kind of love that we experience in relation to someone’s weakness rather than their strength.
这提醒我们爱不仅仅是对美德的赞美
It reminds us that love isn’t just about admiration for virtues.
更是对脆弱和残缺的同情与原谅
It’s also about sympathy and generosity towards what is weak and imperfect in us.
有这三个词在心中
Having these three words to hand.
爱欲 友爱和博爱
Eros, philia and agape.
大大延展了我们对“爱”这种感觉的定义
Powerfully extends our sense of what love really is.
古希腊人非常睿智的将盲目的爱分成了几个部分
The Ancient Greeks were wise in dividing the blinding monolith of love into its constituent parts.
在他们的指导下 我们在生活中所拥有的爱远多过我们有限的语言所能形容的
Under their tutelage, we can see that we probably have far more love in our lives than our current vocabulary knows how to recognise.
你知道生命学院其实是一个地点吗?
Did you know that The School Of Life is actually a place?
确切说是十个地点 校园遍布全球 从伦敦到墨尔本 从台北到伊斯坦布尔
Ten places in fact. Campus’ all over the world from Melbourne to London, Taipie to Istanbul.
想了解更多有关课程书籍以及其他的内容 请点击下面的链接发现更多
With classes and books and much more. Please click on the link below to explore more.

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视频概述

什么是爱? 是情欲,陪伴,体贴还是谅解? 爱既然这么伟大,我们为什么还会因为爱而感到焦虑,烦躁和压力? 听古希腊人讲讲,他们是如何看待爱的

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grandpa

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQS9g9JFI08

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