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为什么性生活会离我们远去? – 译学馆
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为什么性生活会离我们远去?

Why We Go Off Sex

浪漫文化最大的责任之一
One of the great burdens which our romantic culture
就是在长期的关系上强加了
has imposed upon long-term relationships
爱与性满足感的概念 并且
is the idea that love and sexual fulfillment, must always,
如果一切如斯人所愿 会幸福“上天”
if things are working as they should, fit neatly together.
这个唯美而纯粹的概念
This beautiful and hugely convenient idea
滋养激情的欲望多年
raises a passionate hope that over many years.
两个人不仅会互相喜欢 相互扶持
Two people will not only like and help one another,
适度花费 合理理财
manage their domestic finances reasonably well,
组成家庭 享受假期
perhaps raise a family, have enjoyable holidays,
互相理解
understand one another ’ s problems,
安排清洁
schedule cleaning rotas,
忍受缺点
put up with each other’s failings,
探亲访友
see each others ’ parents and friends,
各自“为政”
and pursue their careers in harmony,
同时也是忠诚刺激的性伴侣
but they will also be devoted and exciting sexual partners,
缠缠绵绵 分分合合
endlessly entwining and recombining,
有时温文尔雅 慢条斯理
sometimes being gentle and slow,
有时肆意妄为 急不可耐
at others, brutal and urgent,
欲仙欲死 共享情色之旅
travelling together on a shared, lifelong erotic adventure.
就是这个庄严的想法开始折磨我们
It’s this sublime idea that begins to torment us
几乎在每一段关系中
when, as is the case in almost every relationship,
性随着时间的推移
sex starts with time to get at once
都会激情不再 频率减半
less intense and less frequent,
小心翼翼 神经兮兮
more cautious and more frustrating,
拘泥于每日琐事
more at odds with daily life
最终甚至会
and eventually definitively more daunting as a prospect
比读一本书
than reading a book,
一起看报
watching the news together
直接入睡更令人气馁
or simply going to sleep.
它们简直就是短期的灾难
This can appear nothing short of a catastrophe,
荒谬缺点的标志 时常是分手的前奏
a sign of monstrous failing and very often a prelude to a break-up.
这还并不是我们各自的问题
And yet the problem is not ours alone.
几乎任何事都可以让爱回头
It is simply that almost everything that can make love go well
而不会让性爱回头 反之亦然
seems primed not to make sex go well and vice versa.
我们被基本标准影响
We are afflicted by a fundamental misalignment
性别和精神
in the qualities of character and spirit
一方面是好的性
required by good sex on the one hand
另一面是好的爱
and successful love on the other.
一段感情如果长期没有
A relationship cannot survive in the long term
柔软 清醒
without tenderness, soberness,
情商将会不复存在
practical intelligence and selective resignation.
我们小心地洞察情感
We have carefully to fathom another’s motives,
表达我们的心境 度过坎坷
explain our moods, overcome hurts and sulks
预测前奏
and assume a mantle of predictability.
从另一方面看待性
Sex on the other hand, in its most dramatic, thrilling versions,
要求我们随意 颓废
demands that we be heedless, decadent,
可能是残酷的顺从
perhaps cruel or untenably submissive.
它包括最脏的话
It can involve the crudest language
极点之后的一瞬
and moments of sublime degradation.
遭遇不确定的感觉
In having to suffer from feelings of inadequacy around
在长期的爱中
what happens in long-term love,
我们都是主流文化败笔的受害者
we are the victims of major cultural failure,
我们周围文化的失败
the failure of our surrounding culture to continually stress
不可避免的现实图景
a realistic picture of an unavoidable tension
在两个粗俗者之间
between two crucial yet incompatible themes of existence.
在更开明的世界 我们应该承认
In a wiser world, we would collectively admit
爱与性很少会同时存在
that the very rare cases where love and sex did run together
惊人的免责
were astonishing exceptions
不需要关联
with no relevance whatsoever to most of our lives.
我们应学会去关注那些
We would instead learn to pay admiring attention to those
接受高贵表现的人
who had accepted with a reasonable show of dignity and grace.
因为他们自然而长期的归属
that the natural price of long-term togetherness
是性接触质量和频率的下降
is a decline in the quality and frequency of sexual contact.
在许多时候
And that this is, in a great many cases,
这就是必须付出的代价
a price very much worth paying.
我们的性爱宝典探索了性爱的肢体语言
Our Sex book explores how sex truely operates.
离更深远地思考性还差得很远
and that far from thinking about sex too much,
我们还没开始深入地思考过性爱
we haven’t begun to think about it nearly enough.

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不仅关于性,更关于平等!

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翻译译者

YUNA

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审核员 LD

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g94_RpvNKSs

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