关于人类状态的最基本真相之一
One of the most basic facts about the human condition
是我们能了解自己的内心
is that we know ourselves from the inside,
却只能通过别人选择或所能告诉我们的信息去了解他人
but we know others only from what they choose or are able to tell us,
这样的信息是很有限且不全面的
a far more limited and edited set of data.
我们一直沉浸在自己的担忧 希望 欲望和回忆中
We are continuously and intimately exposed to our own worries, hopes, desires and memories,
其中有不少人会感受到压倒性的紧张 疏离 脆弱和悲伤情绪
many of which feel overwhelmingly intense, strange, vulnerable or sad.
然而 我们通过他人选择性或所能对外展现的信息
Yet, when it comes to other people, we are tightly restricted to knowing them
对这些情绪的了解非常有限
through their public pronouncements to what they can or choose to reveal.
我们所能掌握的迹象和线索
The hints and clues we’re left to play with are hugely impefect guides
远不能让我们了解到他人真实的样子
to the reality of another person’s existence.
这就导致了我们的心理不平衡
The result of what we term this psychological asymmestry
因为我们往往会认为自己远比他人
is that we almost always think of ourselves as far more peculiar, shameful and alarming.
更奇葩 更丢人现眼 更可怕
than other people we run into.
我们的焦虑 愤怒 嫉妒 性欲和痛苦看似
Oue experiences of anxiety, anger, envy, sex and distress
比身边的任何人都要强烈且令人烦扰
appear to be so much more intense and disturbing than those of anyone in the vicinity.
当然 我们并非真的怪异
We aren’t of course in truth really so odd,
我们只是更了解自己
we just know a lot more about who we are.
这样的心理不平衡让我们孤单和羞愧
The results of psychological asymmestry are loneliness and shyness.
我们被寂寞缠绕
We are beset by loneliness,
因为我们看不到别人同样的孤单 欲望 妒忌
because we cannot imagine the others’ alone and desire, envy and hate,
仇恨 渴望和悲伤
crave and weep as we do.
我们与外界疏离
We feel ourselves cast out into a world of strangers
感觉自己与他人格格不入
inherently different from everyone we live alongside,
可能会打心底里排斥所有可能了解我们的人
and potentially fundamentally offensive to all those who might know us properly.
没有人懂自己 没人体会过那种灰暗的时刻
It appears in dark moments that no one could possibly both know and like us.
我们很容易害怕与他人亲近
We also get shy easily intimated by people
无法与其分享自己的脆弱
who we assume cannot share in our vulnerabilities,
我们以为别人不会小心眼 耿耿于怀 执拗
and who we imagine would be entirely unable to relate to the petty, grand, perverse
脑子里总盘旋着不切实际的念头
or idealistic thoughts that pass moment by moment through our minds.
当我们身居要位时 会觉得自己像个冒名顶替者
If we reach important positions we feel like imposters beset by impression that
总认为自己的工作能力与过去类似职位的同仁有距离
our works separates through others who have occupied comparable roles in the past
我们变得无趣和保守 模仿他人的外在表现
We grow boring and conventional, mimicking the externals of other people
误以为这就是他们真实的自己
on the false assumption that this is what they might truly be like inside
艺术和爱可以平衡内心
The solutions to psychological asmmestry lie in two places: art and love
艺术为我们揭露陌生人的内心世界
Art provides us with accurate portrayals of the inner lives of strangers.
以优雅和极其吸引人的方式告诉我们
And with grace and compelling charm shows us
艺术家们所展现的困难和希望
how much they share in troubles and hopes
与我们曾以为自己独有的经历何其相似
we thought we might be alone in experiencing.
而爱能不时给我们浓浓的 珍贵的安全感
And love gives us occasional deeply precious sense of security
能让我们对他人展现真正的自己
to reveal who we really are to another person,
并有机会在一个非常安全的氛围下
and the opportunity to learn about their reality
了解他人的真实的自己
from the position of extreme secure proximity.
为了消除心理不平衡的影响
To overcome the effects of psychological asemmetry,
我们必须相信自己 尤其在缺乏依据
we must constantly trust, especially in the absence of any evidence
所有人都可能不太了解我们的时候
that everyone is likely to be far closer to what we are.
别人也许比他们自己对外界所展现的更加
That is far shyer, more scared, more worried and more incomplete
胆小 畏惧 忧虑和无能为力
than they are to resemble the personas they show to the world.
所以很幸运 我们并非自己想象或害怕的
We are fortunately, not any of us quite as odd or quite special
那样奇葩
as we might assume or fear.
生命学院提倡发展情商
At the school of life, we believe in developing emotionally intelligence.
为此 我们还创制了一些有助于促进情商的产品
To that end, we’ve also created a whole range of products to support that growth.
更多信息请点击屏幕下方的链接
Find out more at the link on the screen now