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谈论我们行为背后的 “为什么”

Why we do what we do | Tony Robbins

这次演讲对我来说既是个挑战又让我兴奋
I have to tell you I’m both challenged and excited.
兴奋是因为我有机会给大家回馈
My excitement is: I get a chance to give something back.
挑战是 一般我开的最短会议也得有50个小时
My challenge is: the shortest seminar I usually do is 50 hours.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
我没有夸大 我周末在做研讨会
I’m not exaggerating. I do weekends —
而我的做法是 我不止办研讨会 或知道他人
and when I do I do even more than that, obviously, I also coach people —
我热衷于沉浸式学法 你们是怎么学会语言的?
but I’m into immersion, because how did you learn language?
并不仅仅通过学习理论
Not just by learning principles,
你必须得参与进去 你做得多了 就会学得更好
you got in it and you did it so often that it became real.
我站在这里 除了我是个疯狂的家伙外 根本原因
The bottom line of why I’m here, besides being a crazy mofo, is that —
在于我处于这样一个角色 不是为了激励你们 显然你们也不需要
I’m really in a position. I’m not here to motivate you, you don’t need that, don’t mean that
通常人们以为我的工作就是激励他人
what I tell is that what people think I do,
但这和我的初衷相差甚远
and it’s the furthest thing from it.
然而 人们会对我说
What happens, though, is people say to me,
“我不需要任何激励 那很无趣”
“I don’t need any motivation. That’s not interesting.”
但这不是我在做的
But that’s not what I do.
我是那个问”为什么”的人
I’m the “why” guy.
我要知道你行为背后的”为什么”
I want to know why you do what you do.
促使你行动的动机是什么
What is your motive for action?
是什么激励着你现在的生活?而不是10年前
What is it that drives you in your life today? Not 10 years ago.
你现在依然使用同样的模式吗?
Are you running the same pattern?
因为我相信内在无形的驱动力
Because I believe that the invisible force of internal drive, activated,
是世界上最重要的
is the most important thing in the world.
我在这里 因为我相信情感是生命的力量
I’m here because I believe emotion is the force of life.
我们所有人都有很棒的思想
All of us here have great minds.
是大多人都有很棒的思想 对吗?
Most of us here have great minds, right?
我们都知道怎样思考
We all know how to think.
通过思考我们可以让一切都变得合理化
With our minds we can rationalize anything.
我们可以做到任何事
We can make anything happen.
我们能够….恩….我同意几天前曾说过的
We can….er…I agree with what was described a few days ago,
人们为自身利益儿驱使的想法
that people work in their self-interest.
但我们知道有时候这就是废话
But we know that that’s bullshit at times.
你并不是一直为个人利益工作
You don’t work in your self-interest all the time,
因为当情感参与进来
because when emotion comes into it,
我们追求利益的行为模式也会改变
the wiring changes in the way it functions.
所以理智地思考这个世界的生活是怎样的是件很棒的事情
So it’s wonderful to think intellectually about how the life of the world is,
特别是对于那些非常聪明 能够在脑中想象整个过程的人
and especially those who are very smart can play this game in our head.
但是我真的很想知道是什么驱动你
But I really want to know what’s driving you.
我希望大家在演讲结束之后
What I would like to invite you to do
探究一下今天你所处的位置 这么做原因有两个
by the end of this talk is explore where you are today, for two reasons.
第一:这样做你可以贡献更多
One: so that you can contribute more.
第二:希望我们不仅能够更好地理解别人
And two: that hopefully we can not just understand other people more,
还能更多的领会他们 建立起那种情感联系
but appreciate them more, and create the kinds of connections
来解决一些在社会上我们今天面临的挑战
that can stop some of the challenges that we face on our society today.
将我们仅仅联系的科技只会放大我们社会面临的挑战
They’re only going to get magnified by the very technology that connects us,
因为科技让我们有了交集
because it’s making us intersect.
但这种交集并不总会产生这样一种观点
And that intersection doesn’t always create a view
就是人人相互理解
of “everybody now understands everybody,
人人相互感激
and everybody appreciates everybody.”
我基本上有30年沉迷于思考
So I’ve had an obsession basically for 30 years,
痴迷着“是什么导致了人们生活质量的不同
And that obsession”What makes the difference in the quality of people’s lives?
是什么导致了他们行为的不同?”
What makes the difference in their performance?”
因为那是我的工作 我必须马上帮人们产生他们要的结果
because I got hired to produce the result now.
那是我30年来的工作
I’ve done it for 30 years.
我接到一个电话
I get the phone call
当时运动员在国家电视台前失去状态
when the athlete is burning down on national television,
他的队伍现在领先了五分
and they were ahead by five strokes
现在他已无心回到这个赛制中了
and now they can’t get back on the course.
我必须立刻做什么帮他们恢复状态 对他们而言那是最重要的
I’ve got to do something right now or there’s all thing matters.
有个小孩想自杀时打电话向我求助
I get the phone call when the child is going to commit suicide,
我得马上做些什么
I’ve got to do something right now.
在过去29年里 我很高兴告诉你们我从来没辜负过任何一个顾客
In 29 years, I’m very grateful to tell you I’ve never lost one.
这不意味着我以后不会 但是目前没有
It doesn’t mean I won’t some day, but I haven’t done yet.
原因在于我对人们的需求理解
The reason is an understanding of these human needs I want to talk about.
我今天想要和你们谈的就是这些人的需求
When I get those calls about performance, that’s one thing.
你怎么样才能改变这一局面?
How do you make a change?
但同时我也在寻找是什么影响了一个人的自我奉献能力
But also I’m looking to see what is shaping the person’s ability to contribute,
去做一些超越自我的事情
to do something beyond themselves.
也许真正的问题是
Maybe the real question is,
我发现人生中有两个核心的课程
I look at life and say there’s two master lessons.
第一个:成就的科学
One is: there’s the science of achievement,
每个人都能够有效地掌握的科学
which almost everyone here has mastered amazingly.
如何把隐形的东西变成可视的
“How do you take the invisible and make it visible,”
你怎么样让梦想成真
How do you make your dreams happen?
不管是你的事业 你对社会的付出 金钱
Your business, your contribution to society, money —
所有这些为了你自己 你的身体 还有你的家庭的事
whatever is for you, your body, your family.
但人生中的另一个课程却很少被人们掌握 那就是”满足的艺术”
The other lesson that is rarely mastered is the art of fulfillment.
因为科学很简单 不是吗?
Because science is easy, right?
我们知道公式 然后你编写程序 然后得到结果
We know the rules, you write the code and you get the results.
一旦你了解这个游戏 你已经处于顶端了 对吧
Once you know the game, you just up the ante, don’t you?
可是”满足”却是一门艺术
But when it comes to fulfillment — that’s an art.
原因是 那关乎感激和奉献
The reason is, it’s about appreciation and contribution.
你一个人给自己带来的满足感是有限的
You can only feel so much by yourself.
我有一项很有趣的实验 试图回答这个问题
I’ve had an interesting laboratory to try to answer the real question
那就是如果你把某人看作你可以倾其所有的亲人
which is what’s the difference in somebody’s life
他的生活会有怎样的改变
if you look at them like those people that you’ve given everything to,
比如满足他们所有物质需求
like all the resources they say they need,
你给予的不是100元的电脑而是最好的电脑
you gave not a 100-dollar computer, but the best computer.
你给予他们爱和快乐 并且陪伴他们安慰他们
You gave them love, joy, were there to comfort them.
那些人 也许你也认识一些
Those people very often — you know some of them —
那些享有关爱 教育 财富和背景的人
end up the rest of their life
通常在他们的余生中
with all this love, education, money and background
在戒毒所里进进出出
spending the life going in and out of rehab.
而那些一生遭受无尽痛苦人
And many people have been through ultimate pain,
那些在心理 性 精神和情感上遭受虐待的人
psychologically, sexually, spiritually, emotionally abused —
虽然并不总是 但是经常
and not always, but often,
会成为对社会贡献最多的人
they become some of the people that contribute the most to society.
我们真正想问自己的是 是什么
So the question we’ve got to ask ourselves really is, what is it?
是什么塑造了我们
What is it that shapes us?
我们生活在一个心理治疗当道的文化中
We live in a therapy culture.
我们大部分人没有接受过心理治疗 但我们的文化是一种推崇心理治疗的文化 我想说的是
Most of us don’t do that, but the culture’s a therapy culture, what I mean is that
我们就是自己的过去这种心态
the mindset that we are our past.
在这里的任何人 如果你相信这一说法 你就不会在这里了
And anybody in the room you wouldn’t be in this room if you bought that,
但是社会大部分人认为经历就是命运
but most of society thinks biography is destiny.
过去等同于未来
The past equals the future.
如果你一直活在过去 那当然等同了
Of course it does if you live there.
但是在这里的我们知道我们必须改变自己
But people in this room know what we know and what we have to remind ourselves —
你可以理智地了解事情
because you can know something intellectually
你可以明白一个道理或一种做法 却不使用它 不运用它
you can know what to do and then not use it, not apply it.
我们必须告诉自己决定是最终的力量
We’ve got to remind ourselves that decision is the ultimate power.
当你问别人
When you ask people,
在完成生命中重要的事情上 你有没有失败过
have you failed to achieve something significant in your life?
说:“是的” 观众:是的
Say, “Aye.” Audience: Aye.
谢谢大家高度互动
TR: Thanks for the interaction on a high level there.
如果你问别人为什么你无法做成某事
But if you ask people, why didn’t you achieve something?
问为你工作的或者你的伙伴甚至你自己
Somebody who’s working for you, or a partner, or even yourself.
当你失败时 人们说的理由是什么
When you fail to achieve the goal, what’s the reason people say When they fail to achieve?
他们告诉你什么
What do they tell you?
没有知识 金钱
Didn’t have the knowledge, didn’t have the money,
没有时间 技术
didn’t have the time, didn’t have the technology.
我没有没有好导师
I didn’t have the right manager.
戈尔:最高法院演讲者:最高法院
Al Gore: Supreme Court. TR: The Supreme Court.
笑声
(Laughter)
(欢呼)
(Applause) (Cheering)
(掌声继续)
(Applause continues)
那……
TR: And —
(掌声)
(Applause)
他们都做了什么 包括最高法院在内有什么共同之处
What do all those, including the Supreme Court, have in common?
笑声
(Laughter)
他们断言你将缺少资源 并且他们可能是正确的
They are a claim to you missing resources, and they may be accurate.
你可能不会拥有钱 或是最高法院
You may not have the money, or the Supreme Court,
但那不是决定性因素
but that is not the defining factor.
(笑声 掌声)
(Applause) (Laughter)
如果我错了你可以纠正我
And you correct me if I’m wrong.
决定性的因素从不是资源 而是足智多谋
The defining factor is never resources; it’s resourcefulness.
比起其他措辞这更能表达我的想法
And what I mean specifically, rather than just some phrase,
如果运用情感 人类的情感
is if you have emotion, human emotion,
我从你前天发生的事情里感受到的东西
something that I experienced from you the day before yesterday
就如同我亲身经历过的一般
at a level that is as profound as I’ve ever experienced
如果你运用那种情感和选民沟通 我相信你一定能狠狠的把他打败
and I believe with that emotion you would have beat his ass and won.
观众:是的!
Audience: Yeah!
掌声 欢呼声
(Applause) (Cheering)
去告诉他人你该做什么是很简单的事
How easy for me to tell him what he should do.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
笨蛋 罗宾斯
Idiot, Robbins.
但我们观看辩论的时候我知道
But I know when we watched the debate at that time,
是情感阻碍了人们
there were emotions that blocked people’s ability
获得理性和智慧的能力
to get this man’s intellect and capacity.
而某些人恰巧运用了这个方法
And the way that it came across to some people on that day —
因为我知道那些想要给你投票但却没有这么做的人
because I know people that wanted to vote in your direction and didn’t,
我很不安
and I was upset.
但这里有情绪的存在
But there was emotion there.
你们知道我在说什么吗
Do you know what I’m talking about?
说 “是的” 观众:“是的”
Say, “Aye.” Audience: Aye.
所以 情绪就是关键
TR: So, emotion is it.
如果我们做了正确的情绪 我们能做任何事
And if we get the right emotion, we can get ourselves to do anything.
如果你有创造力 有幽默 足够有趣
If you’re creative, playful, fun enough,
你能得到任何人的心 对不对
can you get through to anybody, yes or no?
如果你没有钱
If you don’t have the money,
但你有创造力 有决心 你会找到出路
but you’re creative and determined, you find the way.
这就是最终资源
This is the ultimate resource.
然而这不是人们告诉我们的故事
But this is not the story that people tell us.
他们告诉我们一大堆不同的故事
They tell us a bunch of different stories.
他们告诉我们 我们没有资本 但最终
They tell us we don’t have the resources, but ultimately,
你看一下这边
if you take a look here,
他们说 他们失败的全部原因是什么
they say, what are all the reasons they haven’t accomplished that?
他破坏了我的模式 混蛋
He’s broken my pattern, that son-of-a-bitch.
(大笑)
(Laughter)
但我告诉你 我欣赏那种能力
But I appreciated the energy, I’ll tell you that.
(大笑)
(Laughter)
是什么决定了你的资本
What determines your resources?
我们说抉择塑造命运 我的关注点就在这里
We’ve said decisions shape destiny, which is my focus here.
如果抉择塑造命运 那么这里有三种抉择来决定
If decisions shape destiny, what determines it is three decisions.
你要把注意力放在什么地方
What will you focus on?
现在 你不得不决定你要把注意力放在什么地方
Right now,You have to decide what you’re going to focus on
不管是有意还是无意的
Consciously or unconsciously.
在你决定你要把注意力放在某样东西上 前你必须赋予它意义
the minute you decide to focus, you must give it a meaning,
这个意义无论是什么 它会制造情感
and whatever that meaning produces emotion.
这是开始还是结束?
Is this the end or the beginning?
这是上帝在惩罚我还是在奖励我 又或者这是偶然
Is God punishing me or rewarding me, or is this the roll of the dice?
情感决定了我们将要做什么 或者下一步行动
An emotion creates what we’re going to do, or the action.
所以 想想你自己的生活吧
So, think about your own life,
那些塑造了你命运的决定
the decisions that have shaped your destiny.
这听起来太过沉重 但在过去的5年或10年 或15年
And that sounds really heavy, but in the last five or 10 years, 15years
会出现这样一些抉择
have there been some decisions
如果你当时做出了不同的决定 你的生活会完全不同吗
that if you’d made a different decision, your life would be completely different?
不管是好还是坏 有多少人能够想到它 说 “是的”
How many can think about it? Better or worse. Say, “Aye.”
观众:“是的”
Audience: Aye.
所以结果也许就是你在那个地方工作
So the bottom line is, maybe it was where to go to work,
然后遇到人生伴侣 这就是一个职业决定
and you met the love of your life there, maybe there is a career decision.
我知道我所见的谷歌天才
I know the Google geniuses I saw here —
我知道他们刚开始是决定出售技术 但如果他们真的决定出售技术
I mean, I understand that their decision was to sell their technology at first
而不去创建自己的文化 会怎么样?
What if they made that decision versus to build their own culture?
世界或他们的生活会有什么不同呢 他们的影响会有什么不同?
How would the world or their lives be different, their impact?
世界的历史就是这些抉择
The history of our world is these decisions.
当一位女士站起来说 “不 我不会去坐公交车后排”
When a woman stands up and says, “No, I won’t go to the back of the bus.”
她不仅影响了她的生活 而且改变了我们的文化
She didn’t just affect her life. That decision shaped our culture.
或当一个人堵在坦克前
Or someone standing in front of a tank.
或当处于兰斯 阿姆斯特朗的位置
Or being in a position like Lance Armstrong,
然后被告知“你已经得了睾丸癌”
“You’ve got testicular cancer.”
这对任何男人尤其是单车运动员是不小的打击
That’s pretty tough for any male, especially if you ride a bike.
(大笑)
(Laughter)
在你的脑海中 在你的心中
You’ve got it in your brain; you’ve got it in your lungs.
你早已明白这是什么意思?
But what was his decision of what to focus on?
与大部分人都不同 什么意思?
Different than most people. What did it mean?
这不是结束 这是开始 他如何做的
It wasn’t the end; it was the beginning. What he’s gonna do
他赢得了七项他在癌症之前从未赢得的冠军
He goes off and wins seven championships he never once won
因为他情绪健康 心理强大
before the cancer, because he got emotional fitness, psychological strength.
这就是我看过的人类的不同
That’s the difference in human beings that I’ve seen
在我所见过的三百万人之中
of the three million I’ve been around.
在我的实验室 超过29年 我从80个国家中测试三百万人
In my lab, I’ve had three million people from 80 countries over the last 29 years.
之后过了一段时间 一些模式变得明显
And after a while, patterns become obvious.
南非和非洲可能以某种联系相互联系
You see that South America and Africa may be connected in a certain way, right?
另一个人说 “哦 听起来真可笑” 这很简单
Other people say, “Oh, that sounds ridiculous.” It’s simple.
所以 什么塑造了兰斯 什么塑造了你
So, what shaped Lance? What shapes you?
两股不可见的力量 很快 一个是状态
Two invisible forces. Very quickly. One: state.
我们都有过这样的经历
We all have had times,
当你做了些事 然后你对自己说
you did something, and after, you thought to yourself,
“我不相信我说了或做了什么 这太愚蠢了”
“I can’t believe I said or I can’t believe I did that, that was so stupid.”
有这种经历的人 请说“我” 观众:“我”
Who’s been there? Say, “Aye.” Audience: Aye.
你是否曾经在做完事后说 “这就是我”
Or after you did something, you go, “That was me!”
(大笑)
(Laughter)
这是你个人状态而非能力的问题
It wasn’t your ability; it was your state.
你的世界观是塑造你长期立足的根本
Your model of the world is what shapes you long term.
你的世界观是塑造我们的过滤器
Your model of the world is the filter. That’s what’s shaping us.
这就是促使人们做决定的原因
That’s what makes people make decisions.
想要影响他 就得知道他被什么影响着
To influence somebody, we need to know what already influences them.
我觉得这三部分是关键
It’s made up of three parts I believe.
首先 你的目标是什么?你追求的是什么?
First, what’s your target? What are you after?
我相信你追求的并不是你的愿望
I believe, it’s not your desires.
你能满足你的愿望或实现你的目标吗
You can get your desires or goals.
有谁达到的目标 期望或者想法 然后说”这一切也不过如此嘛”
Who has ever got a goal or desire and thought, is this all there is?
说“我” 观众 “我”
Say, “Aye.” Audience: Aye.
我们追求的是我们需求的 我相信人类有六种需求
It’s needs we have. I believe there are six human needs.
其次 一旦你知道驱使你的目标时
Second, once you know what the target that’s driving you is
你就需要去发掘真理——不是创造而是发掘——
and you uncover it for the truth — you don’t form it —
然后就知道你自己的人生计划是什么
then you find out what’s your map,
什么样的信仰体系告诉你如何满足这些需求
what’s the belief systems that tell you how to get those needs.
有些人认为满足这些需求的方法是破坏世界
Some people think the way to get them is to destroy the world,
有些人则认为 是建立 创造东西 对人关爱
some people, to build, create something, love someone.
然后你就得到了你所需的燃料 快速提一下 六种需求
and then there’s the fuel you pick. So very quickly, six needs.
我告诉你它们是什么 第一种需求:确定性
Let me tell you what they are. First one: certainty.
这些不是目标或期望 只是普遍的需求
These are not goals or desires, these are universal.
每个人需要确实的事 以避免痛苦
Everyone needs certainty they can avoid pain
至少比较舒适
and at least be comfortable.
那么 怎么做到呢?
Now, how do you get it?
控制所有人?学习技能?放弃?抽一支烟?
Control everybody? Develop a skill? Give up? Smoke a cigarette?
但讽刺的是 当你真的确定时
And if you got totally certain, ironically,
即使是我们需要的—
even though we need that —
你对你的健康 或儿女 或金钱感到不确定
you’re not certain about your health, or your children, or money.
你不想那么多 你还不确定天花板是否牢固呢
You don’t think that much. You’re not sure the ceiling will hold up,
你也你不会听任何演讲
you won’t listen to any speaker.
但是 在我们向往不同程度的确定性时 我们若得到了完全的确定性 那我们究竟得到了什么
But while we go for certainty differently, if we get total certainty, we get what?
当你很确定的时候你感觉到了什么?
What do you feel if you’re certain?
接下来会发生什么 什么时候 如何发生 你都知道
You know what it will happen, when and how it will happen,
你有什么感觉
what would you feel?
无聊的发疯 所以有无限智慧的上帝
Bored out of your minds. So, God, in Her infinite wisdom,
给予我们第二个人类的需求 那就是不确定性
gave us a second human need, which is uncertainty.
我们需要多样化 需要惊喜
We need variety. We need surprise.
在场的有多少人喜欢惊喜 说“我”
How many of you here love surprises? Say, “Aye.”
观众 “我”
Audience: Aye.
TR: 胡说!你喜欢的是你们想要的惊喜
TR: Bullshit. You like the surprises that you want.
那些你不要的惊喜你称之为问题 但你需要它们
The ones you don’t want, you call problems, but you need them.
所以 多样化是很重要的
So, variety is important.
你有没有租过你看过的录像或电影?
Have you ever rented a video or a film that you’ve already seen?
谁这么做过(请举手)?去TM过点儿有意义的生活! 行吗?
Who’s done this? Get a fucking life! Alright?
(大笑)
(Laughter)
为什么你会这么做?
Why are you doing it?
因为你之前看过 你确定那是部好电影
You’re certain it’s good because you read or saw it before,
但是你又希望时间长得你已经忘了而且会有变化
but you’re hoping it’s been long enough you’ve forgotten and there’s variety.
第三种人类需求 非常重要:重大意义
Third human need, critical: significance.
我们都想要自己受到足够的重视 感觉自己特殊而且独一无二
We all need to feel important, special, unique.
你能通过赚钱 或者更精神化自己
You can get it by making more money or being more spiritual.
你甚至可以到这种 在自己身体上 人都不想知道的
You can do it by getting yourself in a situation where you put
部位纹更多的刺青或扎体环的地步
more tattoos and earrings in places humans don’t want to know.
无论是哪种方式
Whatever it takes.
最快的方法是
The fastest way to do this,
在你没有背景 没有文化 没有信仰与资本
if you have no background, no culture, no belief and resources
或也没有足够资源的前提下 那就是暴力了
or resourcefulness, is violence.
如果我拿枪指着你的头而且生活在一个烂区 我马上就变得牛逼了
If I put a gun to your head and I live in the hood, instantly I’m significant.
0到10 代表不同程度 这有多么刺激? 10
Zero to 10. How high? 10.
有多确定你们将会回应我?10
How certain am I that you’re going to respond to me? 10.
有多少不确定性?
How much uncertainty?
谁知道接下来会发生什么?有点小激动
Who knows what’s going to happen next? Kind of exciting.
像爬进一个山洞 然后
Like climbing up into a cave and doing that stuff
又往下跳
all the way down there.
完全的多样化和不确定性
Total variety and uncertainty.
而且很重要 不是吗?所以值得用你的生命来冒险
And it’s significant, isn’t it? So you want to risk your life for it.
这就是为什么身边总是存在暴力
So that’s why violence has always been around and will be around
除非我们作为人类要有意识去改变
unless we have a consciousness change, as a species.
你能通过一百万种方法获得重要性
You can get significance a million ways,
但是要变得重要 你必须独一无二 与众不同
but to be significant, you’ve got to be unique and different.
我们真正需要的是第四种需求:关系与爱
Here’s what we really need: connection and love, fourth need.
我们都需要它
We all want it;
大多数人只接受关系 因为爱让人恐惧
most people settle for connection, because love’s too scary.
在坐的有谁在一段亲密的感情中受过伤?
Who here has been hurt in an intimate relationship?
说“我”
say “Aye”
如果你没举手 你也有别的糟心事
If you don’t raise your hand, you’ve had other shit, too, come on
然后再一次受到伤害
And you’re going to get hurt again.
来看这个正面积极的演讲 你不高兴吗?
Aren’t you glad you came to this positive visit?
但事实是:我们需要它
But here’s what’s true: we need it.
我们能够通过亲昵行为 友谊 还有祈祷
We can do it through intimacy, through friendship, through prayer,
亲近自然来做到这点
through walking in nature.
如果其他方法不管用 养只狗不要养猫
If nothing else works for you, don’t get a cat, get a dog,
因为当你离开两分钟 五分钟后你回来 你的猫会觉得
because if you leave for two minutes, it’s like you’ve been gone six months,
你已经失踪六个月了
when you come back 5 minutes later.
这四个需求 每个人都能找到方法来满足
Now these first four needs, every human finds a way to meet.
即使你对自己说谎 你也要有分裂的个性
Even if you lie to yourself, you need to have split personalities.
我说的前四种需求为个性的需求
I call the first four needs the needs of the personality.
最后两种是心灵的需求
The last two are the needs of the spirit.
也正是满足感的源头
And this is where fulfillment comes.
你不会从前四种需求获得满足感
You won’t get it from the first four.
就会想出一个办法 吸烟 喝酒 任何事来满足前四种需求
You’ll figure a way, smoke, drink, do whatever, meet the first four.
而第五种是 你必须成长起来
But number five, you must grow.
我们都知道答案
We all know the answer.
如果不成长 你是什么?
If you don’t grow, you’re what?
如果一段关系或一项生意没有成长
If a relationship or business is not growing,
如果你不成长
if you’re not growing,
不管你多有钱 不管你有多少朋友
doesn’t matter how much money or friends you have,
也不管有多少人爱你
how many love you,
你都会感觉很糟糕
you feel like hell.
我相信我们成长的原因
And I believe the reason we grow
那就是我们可以付出有价值的东西
is so we have something to give of value.
因为第六种需求就是超越自我的奉献
Because the sixth need is to contribute beyond ourselves.
因为我们都知道 就像听起来那么粗俗一样
Because we all know, corny as that sounds,
其本质就是活着就是奉献
the secret to living is giving.
我们都知道生活不仅有自己 而是大家
We all know life is not about me, it’s about we.
我们这个文化知道 在做的各位也知道
This culture knows that, this room knows that.
这很振奋人心
It’s exciting.
当你看到尼古拉斯谈论他的100美元的电脑时
When you see Nicholas talking about his $100 computer,
最兴奋的事是:
the most exciting thing is:
虽然他是个天才 但他现在有使命了
here’s a genius, but he’s got a calling now.
你能感受到他的不同 很美妙
You can feel the difference in him, and it’s beautiful.
那便是使命在感动他人
And that calling can touch other people.
我的生活就被感动了 因为当我十一岁时
My life was touched because when I was 11 years old,
那年感恩节 没钱 没吃的
Thanksgiving, no money, no food,
我们本不会这样饥饿
we were not going to starve,
但我父亲却酩酊大醉
but my father was totally messed up,
我妈妈想让他知道他多么糟糕
my mom was letting him know how bad he messed up,
然后有人走到门前发送食物
and somebody came to the door and delivered food.
我爸爸做了三个决定 我知道它们是什么 简单来说
My father made three decisions, I know what they were, briefly.
他的关注点是 “这是慈善”
His focus was “This is charity.
什么意思?我不值钱
What does it mean? I’m worthless.
我要做什么?离开家 他这么做了
What do I have to do? Leave my family,” which he did.
这是生活中的一件痛苦经历
It was one of the most painful experiences of life.
我把三个决定带上我的另一条道路
My three decisions gave me a different path.
把注意力放在”有吃的了”上面 多么棒的想法!
I set focus on “There’s food.” What a concept!
(大笑)
(Laughter)
但其实这改变了我的生活 塑造了作为人类的我
But this is what changed my life, shaped me as a human being.
某人的礼物 我甚至不知道是谁的
Somebody’s gift, I don’t even know who it is.
我的爸爸总说 “我才不在乎”
My father always said, “No one gives a shit.”
我也不知道某人是谁
And now somebody I don’t know,
他们没有要求任何事 就是给我们食物
they’re not asking for anything, just giving us food,
照顾我们
looking out for us.
使得我相信:陌生人的关心
It made me believe this: that strangers care.
这促使我做了一个决定
And that made me decide,
如果陌生人关心我和我们家 那我也关心他们
if strangers care about me and my family, I care about them.
我需要做一些改变
I’m going to do something to make a difference.
所以当我十七岁时 我在感恩节时出门了
So when I was 17, I went out on Thanksgiving,
有足够的钱养两个家庭是我这些年的目标
it was my target for years to have enough money to feed two families.
是我这一生做过最有趣和感动的事
The most fun and moving thing I ever did in my life.
于是第二年 我给四个家庭送去了食物 再下一年 增加到了八个
Next year, I did four, then eight.
我没有告诉任何人我做了什么 我不是为了得到称赞
I didn’t tell anybody what I was doing, I wasn’t doing it for brownie points.
只是八个家庭之后 妈的 我觉得我需要帮助
But after eight, I thought I could use some help.
所以我行动起来了 我把朋友拉进来
So I went out, got my friends involved,
之后我开了公司 11间公司 我建立了基金会
then I grew companies, got 11companies, and I built the foundation.
18年后
18 years later,
我很自豪的告诉你去年我们供养了35个国家的2百万人
I’m proud to tell you last year we fed 2 million people in 35 countries
通过我们的基金会
through our foundation.
在所有的假期 感恩节 圣诞节
All during the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas,
全世界不同的国家
in different countries around the world.
谢谢
(Applause)
(掌声)
Thank you.
我告诉你这些事不是来吹嘘 而是我对人类感到自豪
I don’t tell you that to brag, but because I’m proud of human beings
因为他们乐于奉献
because they get excited to contribute
不仅仅只是说说 而是一有机会便去实施
once they’ve had the chance to experience it, not talk about it.
好了 最后 快到时间了
So, finally — I’m about out of time.
那个塑造你的目标—
The target that shapes you —
这就是人们的不同之处
Here’s what’s different about people.
我们有同样的需求
We have the same needs.
你是否曾狂热追求确定性
But are you a certainty freak, is that what you value most,
或不确定性 才是最重视的?
or uncertainty?
如果他爬过这些洞穴 他就不可能是确定性的狂热追求者
This man couldn’t be a certainty freak if he climbed through those caves.
你被重要性或者爱驱使吗
Are you driven by significance or love?
我们都需要这六种需求
We all need all six,
但无论你的主导信念系统是什么 它都会让你往一个不同的方向倾斜
but whatever your lead system is tilts you in a different direction.
而当你沿着一个方向移动 你就有了目的地或者命运
And as you move in a direction, you have a destination or destiny.
第二部分是地图
The second piece is the map.
把它想象成操控系统 告诉你如何到达那里
The operating system tells you how to get there,
有些人的地图是
and some people’s map is,
“即使我为了他人死 我也要拯救生命”
“I’m going to save lives even if I die for other people,”
这样的人是消防员
and they’re a fireman,
有人说“即使杀人我也要做”
and somebody else says, “I’m going to kill people to do it.”
他们试着满足同样的重要性需求
They’re trying to meet the same needs of significance.
他们想要追寻上帝或听从他们的家庭
They want to honor God or honor their family.
但是他们有不同的地图
But they have a different map.
另外还有七种信念 我无法一一说明 因为我已经讲完了
And there are seven different beliefs; I can’t go through them, because I’m done.
最后一个部分是情绪
The last piece is emotion.
地图的其中一部分就像时间
One of the parts of the map is like time.
有些人觉得100年是很长的
Some people’s idea of a long time is 100 years.
有人则认为3秒很长 我就是这种人
Somebody else’s is three seconds, which is what I have.
对我而言 3秒就是我现在剩下的时间
And the last one I’ve already mentioned that fell to you.
如果你有了目标和地图
If you’ve got a target and a map —
我不使用谷歌 因为我爱苹果
I can’t use Google because I love Macs,
而他们还没有让谷歌地图和苹果电脑兼容
and they haven’t made it good for Macs yet.
所以如果你用MapQuest
So if you use MapQuest —
有多少人犯了这个致命的错误
how many have made this fatal mistake of using it?
如果你用这个东西 你不会到你想要到的地方
You use this thing and you don’t get there.
想象一下 你的信念保证你永远去不了你想去的地方
Imagine if your beliefs guarantee you can never get to where you want to go.
(大笑)
(Laughter)
最后一件事是情绪
The last thing is emotion.
这里我将告诉你情绪
Here’s what I’ll tell you about emotion.
在英语中表达情绪的词汇
There are 6,000 emotions
有6000种
that we have words for in the English language,
这是通过语言学表达来变通的
which is just a linguistic representation that changes by language.
但是如果你的主要情绪
But if your dominant emotions —
如果我有20000人或1000人
If I have 20,000 people or 1,000
让他们在每个星期里
and I have them write down all the emotions that they experience
记下他们经历过的所有表情
in an average week,
我会给他们足够的时间
and I give them as long as they need,
一边是他们写下的积极情感的词汇 另一边则相反
and on one side they write empowering emotions, the other’s disempowering
猜猜他们经历了多少表情?少于12种
guess how many emotions they experience? Less than 12.
一半人都感觉糟透了
And half of those make them feel like shit.
他们有五到六种很棒的感觉
They have five or six good feelings.
高兴 高兴 兴奋 哦天
Happy, happy, excited, oh shit,
失败 失败 受打击 沮丧
frustrated, frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed.
你们有谁认识
How many of you know somebody
无论怎样都有办法让自己生气的人
who, no matter what happens, finds a way to get pissed off?
(大笑)
(Laughter)
或者无论发生什么 他们找到一种方法高兴或者兴奋
Or no matter what happens, they find a way to be happy or excited.
有谁认识这样的人?
How many of you know somebody like this?
当911发生时 我会用这结束我的演讲 在夏威夷
When 9/11 happened, I’ll finish with this, I was in Hawaii.
与来自45个国家的2000人在一起
I was with 2,000 people from 45 countries,
在我指挥的一个项目中 我们同时翻译四种语言
we were translating four languages simultaneously
在这一周内
for a program I was conducting, for a week.
911之前的那个晚上 我们刚上过情绪掌控
The night before was called Emotional Mastery.
我走上台 没有事先安排 然后我说
I got up, had no plan for this, and I said —
我们有烟花 我们在研讨会上做疯狂有趣的事
we had fireworks, I do crazy shit, fun stuff,
最终 我停了下来
and at the end, I stopped.
我已计划好讲什么 但是我从不按计划进行
I had this plan, but I never know what I’m going to say.
突然 我说
And all of a sudden, I said,
“什么时候人们真正开始生活?什么时候他们面对死亡”
“When do people really start to live? When they face death.”
最后我让大家思考这个问题
And I went through this whole thing
如果你就要离开这座岛
about, if you weren’t going to get off this island,
如果从现在开始九天你就会死去
if nine days from now, you were going to die,
你会打给谁 你会说什么 你会怎么做
who would you call, what would you say, what would you do?
有一个女人 那是911发生后的一个晚上
one woman, that night is when 9/11 happened.
一个女人来这里参加研讨会
One woman had come to the seminar, and when she came there,
她的前男友被人绑架然后谋杀了
her previous boyfriend had been kidnapped and murdered.
她的新男友想娶她 但她拒绝了
Her new boyfriend wanted to marry her, and she said no.
她说 “如果你去夏威夷 我们就结束了”
He said, “If you go to that Hawaii thing, it’s over with us.”
她说 “结束了”
She said, “It’s over.”
度过了那晚之后 她打电话给他 并留下一条信息
When I finished that night, she called him and left a message
在他工作的地方 世界贸易中心 说
at the top of the World Trade Center where he worked, saying,
“我爱你 我想让你知道我想嫁给你
“I love you, I want you to know I want to marry you.
我太蠢了”
It was stupid of me.”
她入睡了 因为当时我们是夜里三点钟 当他回电话时
She was asleep, because it was 3 a.m. for us, when he called her back,
并说 “亲爱的 我没能告诉你这意味着什么
and said, “Honey, I can’t tell you what this means.
我不知道怎么告诉你 但你给我了最棒的礼物
I don’t know how to tell you this, but you gave me the greatest gift,
因为我要死了”
because I’m going to die.”
在房间里她给我们放了录音
And she played the recording for us in the room.
之后 她去了拉里金
She was on Larry King later.
他说“你可能会想
And he said, “You’re probably wondering
究竟怎样能在你身上发生两次这种事呢
how on Earth this could happen to you twice.
我只能说这一定是上帝告诉你的
All I can say is this must be God’s message to you.
从现在开始 每一天 全心全意爱你
From now on, every day, give your all, love your all.
别让任何事使你停步”
Don’t let anything ever stop you.”
她讲完 一个男人站起来 他说
She finishes, and a man stands up, and he says,
“我来自巴基斯坦 我是一个穆斯林
“I’m from Pakistan, I’m a Muslim.
我想牵起你的手 然后说抱歉
I’d love to hold your hand and say I’m sorry,
但老实说 这是报应”
but frankly, this is retribution.”
我不能告诉你余下的事 因为我快没时间了
I can’t tell you the rest, because I’m out of time.
(大笑)
(Laughter)
你确定吗?
Are you sure?
(大笑)
(Laughter)
10秒
10 seconds!
(掌声)
(Laughter and applause)
10秒 我要尊重你的意见
10 seconds, I want to be respectful.
我能告诉你的是
All I can tell you is,
我带这个男人到台上了
I brought this man on stage
还有一个来自纽约 曾在世贸中心工作过的人
with a man from New York who worked in the World Trade Center,
因为大约200个纽约人在这里
because I had about 200 New Yorkers there.
超过50的人失去了整个公司 朋友
More than 50 lost their entire companies, friends,
在他们掌上型电脑划出死者的名字
marking off their Palm Pilots.
一个经济贸易的女强人 大叫着
One financial trader, woman made of steel, bawling —
将30个死去的朋友名字划掉
30 friends crossing off that all died.
我问他们“我们要把注意力放在什么地方?
And I said, “What are we going to focus on?
这意味着什么 我们要怎么做”
What does this mean and what are we going to do?”
我让所有学员集中他们的注意力
And I got the group to focus on:
如果今天你没有失去亲友 你的注意力应该放在
if you didn’t lose somebody today,
你关注的将要服务其他人
your focus is going to be how to serve somebody else.
之后一个女人站起来 很生气 尖叫着 喊着
Then one woman stood up and was so angry, screaming and yelling.
我发现她不是来自纽约 也不是美国人
I found out she wasn’t from New York, she’s not an American,
这不认识这里任何人
doesn’t know anybody here.
我问她“你经常生气吗”
I asked, “Do you always get angry?”
她说“是的”
She said, “Yes.”
罪人有罪 悲者有悲
Guilty people got guilty, sad people got sad.
然后我把这两个男人叫到一起 做一个非直接的谈判
I took these two men and I did an indirect negotiation.
有家庭在占领区的犹太人
Jewish man with family in the occupied territory,
和在纽约的(如果那天工作就会死去的人)
someone in New York who would have died if he was at work that day,
还有想成为一名恐怖分子的人
and this man who wanted to be a terrorist,
并很清楚的表达了他们的意图
and I made it very clear.
那个互相认识的过程被记录在了一个影片中 我很乐意把他寄给你
This integration is on a film, which I’d be happy to send you,
而不只是听到我口头描述
instead of my verbalization,
但是其中两个人不仅仅是一起
but the two of them not only came together
改变了信仰和世界观
and changed their beliefs and models of the world,
而且到现在为止一起工作了差不多四年
but worked together to bring, for almost four years now,
通过各种各样的清真寺和犹太教会堂
through various mosques and synagogues,
以及和平的念头工作的
the idea of how to create peace.
他写了一本书 名叫《我的圣战 我的和平之路》
And he wrote a book, called “My Jihad, My Way of Peace.”
所以 改变能够实现的
So, transformation can happen.
所以我邀请你:
My invitation to you is:
探索你的网络
explore your web,
脑袋里的网络
the web in here —
控制着你的那些需求 信仰 情绪
the needs, the beliefs, the emotions that are controlling you,
有两个原因:
for two reasons:
你有能力付出更多 也能成就更多
so there’s more of you to give, and achieve, too,
我指的是付出
but I mean give,
因为付出能让你真正充实满足
because that’s what’s going to fill you up.
第二个原因 你会懂得领会
And secondly, so you can appreciate —
不只是了解 了解来自于理智
not just understand, that’s intellectual, that’s the mind,
但领会究竟是什么在驱动着他人
but appreciate what’s driving other people.
这是改变世界的唯一方法
It’s the only way our world’s going to change.
上帝保佑你 感谢 希望对你有帮助
God bless you, thank you. I hope this was of service.
(鼓掌)
(Applause)

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视频概述

讲述“为什么”背后所隐藏的秘密,用幽默的语言,自己的经历来分析我们的行为需求

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

red

审核员

瞌睡虫儿

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cpc-t-Uwv1I

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