The Stark men have a grim history of betrayal.
First there was Ned by Littlefinger.
I just warn you not to trust me.
Then there was Robb by Roose Bolton and Walder Frey.
And finally, Jon by his Night’s Watch brothers.
This isn’t by accident.
In fact, I blame Ned
because all of the Stark men share some of his flaws,
which make them doomed as leaders.
They try to be good men. They try to do what’s right,
But in the end, they fail.
And this video will cover exactly how they fail,
and what we can learn from them.
So let’s go ahead and start with the patriarch,
and the first of the three Starks to be betrayed and killed,
Good Old Eddard.
His problem can be summed up in one line of dialogue.
You do me wrong, my lord.
Your blood is the last thing I want.
I don’t know what you want.
and I’ve given up trying to guess.
Ned doesn’t know what people want,
and he’s given up on trying.
If you’ve seen our video on Tyrion,
you know that this, knowing what people want,
is the key to surviving the Game of Thrones,
because if Ned had carefully considered what everyone actually wanted,
he would have known that Littlefinger was a terrible person to trust.
Let’s look at what Ned did know about him,
and what he should have been able to infer about his motives.
I’ve hoped to meet you for some time, Lord Stark.
No doubt Lady Catelyn has mentioned me.
She has, Lord Baelish.
I understand you knew my brother Brandon as well.
All too well, I still carry a token of his esteem.
from navel to collarbone
Perhaps you choose the wrong man to duel with.
Well, it wasn’t the man that I chose, my lord.
It was Catelyn Tully,
a woman worth fighting for, I’m sure you’ll agree.
Okay, so from just the first scene with Littlefinger,
we know three things.
First, that he used to be in love with Ned’s current wife;
Second, that Ned’s brother nearly killed Littlefinger
while he fought for her.
And three, that this ambitious guy, Littlefinger,
has now worked his way up from nowhere to be the Master of Coin.
Does it make sense to trust this person
with your most important life-changing plan
to give up all the power in the world to them?
显然不是 如果你是奈德 小指头只会
Clearly not, because this person would probably hate your guts
if you were Ned,
but this is exactly what Ned does.
You promised Catelyn you’d help me.
The queen has a dozen knights and a hundred man at arms.
enough to overwhelm what remains of my household guard.
I need the gold cloaks.
Ned is completely outnumbered,
and he bets his life on
Littlefinger coming through with the Gold Cloaks for him,
and Littlefinger does exactly what is expected.
All Ned had to do was to think
“How would someone in Littlefinger’sposition with his background act?”
Yet Ned doesn’t think that.
He thinks what so manyof us think.
What would I do in this situation?
And, of course, if Ned said he would do something,
he would keep his word,
but this is a complete lack of empathy,
and it is stupid and deadly.
People do not share your motivations,
your codes, your anything.
You can only look to their past actions
if you want to predict how they’re going to behave in the future.
So let’s move on
to the final huge mistake that Ned made,
telling Cersei his plan.
This is both a terrible case
of expecting other people to behave exactly as he would,
and of underestimating his competition.
Listen to what Cersei tells him when he lets her know that
he is going to expose her bastard children.
When you play the Game of Thrones,
you win or you die,
there is no middle ground.
Ned has told her his plan.
她说 “不打败你 只有死路一条”
She says I will win or die,
and then, Ned waits.
How crazy is that?
Of course, she’s going to use that chance to try to win.
She just said so.
Interestingly, a different character, Tyrion, accounts for this.
He knows that when he tells his competition his plans,
they’re going to adjust,
and he uses this fact to spread disinformation
and out the mole who is informing on him,
in this case, Pycelle.
Entrusting the council with these plans,
but the queen mustn’t know.
I am your loyal servant.
so loyal that you told the queen about my plans to send Myrcella to Dorne.
不不不 没这事 我发誓
No, never. It’s a false. I swear it.
See, I told Varys that I was giving the princess to the Greyjoys.
I told Littlefinger that I planned to wed her to Robin Arryn.
I told no one that I was offering her to the Dornish.
No one but you.
You see there? He caught Pycelle by knowing that
he would act differently based on the information that he gave him.
Ned expects everyone to be static.
He tells you his plans and you’re just going to continue doing the samething.
That is a huge part of why he loses his head.
Let’s move on to the next Stark
to be betrayed and killed — Robb.
Robb makes mistakes similar to his dad’s,
but his number one flaw is that
he doesn’t align his people’s interests with his own.
So let’s go down the list.
First, we’ve got the Freys,
also known as the late Freys,
because they didn’t enter Robert’s rebellion
until which side was going to win.
They want to increase their power,
and they want to ensure
that they’re going to have victory.
So, tempting them with the queenship makes total sense.
But you really expect their loyalty
after you’ve taken that queenship away,
Second, there’s Catelyn, Robb’s mom.
She wants her family intact.
She wants her daughters back once the war has erupted.
And when she gets news that
her sons Brandon and Rickon have been killed,
she is desperate.
Robb could have sent her to ask Lysa Arryn to join the war,
but instead, he keeps her by the camp
where she lets Jaime Lannister free.
Honestly, rather predictable.
Then you’ve got the Karstarks.
They want Jaime Lannister dead,
because he killed one of them in an escape attempt.
Rickard Karstark demands his head.
When your son returns,
I will demand this murderer’s head.
Wise men do not make demands of kings.
Fathers who love their sons do.
And then Robb doesn’t give him Jaime Lannister’s head,
which precipitates the revenge,
which causes Robb to lose the Karstarks.
If he had told Rickard Karstark
that Jaime would be tried at the end of the war,
and that Karstark could have his head, then,
maybe, he could have taken that rage,
and put it in the right direction.
So in real life,
say that you’re a boss,
and someone asks for a promotion.
Don’t just give it to them,
and don’t just say no.
Tell them that when they help you achieve a goal that you have set,
they will have that promotion.
Now, you are both pursuing your goal.
So moving on now to Edmure,
which brings us to the second major point,
and Robb’s second major flaw.
Your commanders need to know the strategy,
not just the tactics.
Robb told Edmure not to attack the Mountain,
but he didn’t tell him why.
So when Edmure saw a chance,
he did what he thought was right,
and then, this happened.
Your instructions were to wait for him to come to you.
Seized an opportunity.
What value was the mill?
The Mountain was garrisoned across the river from her.
-Is he there now?-Of course not.
We took the fight to him. He could not withstand us.
I wanted to draw the Mountain into the west.
into our country where we could surround him and kill him.
Now, Robb is a good strategist,
and that is a solid plan,
but not telling Edmure his overarching goal of not attacking
was a major blunder.
The people in your organization,
on your team, wherever you maybe,
you must know why they have certain goals,
otherwise, they can’t adapt to changing conditions.
They can only do exactly what you’ve said.
Genghis Khan, one of the greatest military commanders in history,
divided the Mongol army into units of 10 men
who were given autonomy to
accomplish their specific missions with some latitude.
This meant that the men could be flexible to the conditions that they face,
and improvise solutions that their commanderscould never have anticipated.
If you are a leader,
you can’t expect to make every single decision.
You need to delegate
and you need to do that effectively.
So you can’t just tell people the tactics.
You need to give them the strategy.
You need to tell them the why.
Let’s get on to Jon.
In my opinion, Jon’s mistake is very simple:
Check out what Jon has seen.
That is an undead army being led by a mythical White Walker.
Jon has seen it,
and his men have seen it.
It’s the greatest threat the world has ever known
It’s the reason that he wants to get the wildlings south of the Wall,
so that he doesn’t have to fight their undead corpses,
and here’s what he says about it to his men when he returns.
You have a good heart, Jon Snow.
It’ll get us all killed.
He says nothing.
He’s got thousands of eye witnesses,
some of whom are brothers of the Night’s Watch.
Each one would swore to what he’s seen,
and he doesn’t explain that an undead army is coming to kill everyone.
显然 去艰难屯之前 他这么做过
Notably, he does do this before Hardhome.
It looks like this.
He were the fist of the first men.
If we abandon them, you know what they become.
We can learn to live with the wilderlings.
We can add them to the army of the Dead.
Whatever they are now,
they’re better than that.
That is a great point.
And in this scene, Jon gets through to them.
They do go to Hardhome to save the wildlings,
but a good leader doesn’t just say the mission once.
He needs to repeat the mantra.
He needs to make sure that people understand it,
and stay on track.
Also, he needs to find a way to
make sure that it makes sense for everybody,
and that normally occurs by listening to what each individual cares about,
and finding a way to make them understand
how your plan gives them what they care about vividly.
This is where Jon Snow screws up with Olly.
They burn my village.
They put an arrow through my father’s head
right in front of me.
They butchered my mother, everyone I ever knew.
People will tell you what’s important to them all the time,
like Olly does right here.
Very obviously, he wants revenge against the wildlings that killed his family,
And,perhaps, even more importantly,
he doesn’t want his loved ones butchered in front of him.
So if you want to convince someone like Olly
to do something that they don’t like,
you need to paint a vivid, grim picture of their worst case scenario
that the undead wildlings are going to butcher his brothers of the Night’s Watch,
and then enslave them so that they kill everyone else.
It needs to be vivid.
It needs to be visceral.
But what does Jon Snow do?
I know this is hard for you,
but winter is coming.
We know what’s coming with it.
We can’t face it alone.
What would motivate you more,
the memories of having your village slaughtered,
or the vague threat of winter coming?
Clearly, the vivid memories.
So it’s no wonder that Olly is going to do whatever it takes to stop that.
It’s not pleasant,
but if you want to get through to people,
you have to paint a vivid picture
of what they stand to gain,
and what they stand to lose.
I’ve heard it referred to
as the “The heaven if they do and the hell if they don’t.”
Both aspects are necessary
if you want to lead someone from a position
that they don’t want to budge from.
it doesn’t look like Jon’s death has changed his persuasion skills much.
I’ve come at it from a different angle for each Stark,
but they all do the opposite of what we saw Tyrion do in his video.
They do not know what the people around them want.
They don’t know how to give it to them.
That makes them extremely flawed leaders.
And if you’re interested in what you can do to be a better leader,
specifically, what you can do to make an amazing first impression,
we’ve set up another video that
covers the four emotions that guarantee a great one.
And the Starks do well in some of these,
and miss on a couple of them.
If you can hit all four of these emotions in the right order
and you’re in any kind of environment,
from the board room all the way to a bar party,
this will work.
So if you want those, click the box.
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and get immediate access to that video,
so you can use those emotions today.
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If you have any video suggestions, please go ahead,
write them down in the comments.
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