ADM-201 dump PMP dumps pdf SSCP exam materials CBAP exam sample questions

为什么会有婚外情? – 译学馆
未登录,请登录后再发表信息
最新评论 (0)
播放视频

为什么会有婚外情?

Why People Have Affairs

通常 婚外情被当作是
Too often, affairs are seen
随意发情的结果
as the outcome of random horniness
或者是十足肮脏的龌蹉事
or just plain old nastiness.
但是这是极少的案例
But that’s very rarely the case.
当谈及婚外情
When it comes to affairs,
我们花了太多时间变得愤怒的或者遮遮掩掩的
we spend far too long being incensed or secretive,
花太少的时间试图去了解它
And far too little time trying to understand.
事实上 婚外情来源于一种高精度的浪漫心理学
In truth, affairs stem from a very fiddly aspect of our romantic psychology.
和另一半的关系
In relationships with a partner,
需要我们精心混合两种不同的配方
all of us need carefully calibrated mixtures of two different ingredients.
我们需要一份亲密和一份距离
We have A Need for Closeness and A Need for Distance.
我们想要给予亲密
We want to impart Closeness
去感受我们可以拥抱 触碰 舒适的 亲密的
to feel we can hug,touch, be cosy, intimate
并且和某人在家里完全的放松
and entirely relaxed and at home with someone.
我们想要他们了解我们的想法
We want them to know our thoughts
并且也可以了解他们的想法
and to wander freely in their minds too.
但是我们也需要足够的距离
But we also need Distance enough
不会感到厌烦 窒息 被吞没
not to feel cloyingly,submerged, subsumed
或者属于另一个人
or owned by another.
我们想要保持自由感
We want to retain a sense of freedom.
我们需要有一处可以独处的私人空间
We need a private room to which we alone have the key.
任何的不平衡 过于亲密或者过于疏远
Any imbalances, towards Over-Closeness or Over-Distance,
如果不妥善处理可能会导致重大灾难
may prove catastrophic if left unaddressed.
在一段威胁到倾向于过分亲密的关系中
In a relationship which threatens to lean perilously towards over-closeness,
我们可能会被驱使着偏离轨道
we can be driven to stray
一种强烈的渴望向自己证明
by a powerful urge to prove to ourselves
并不是自己所做的一切或者自己是属于另一半的
that not everything we do and are is owned by the partner.
我们保持着对世界的美好愿望
that we remain desirable to the world
持续性的关注自己
and a going concern in and of ourselves.
和陌生人上床可能不是简单的渴望
Going to bed with a new person might not be simply about lust:
它是关于逃离那种不安的感觉
it’s about escaping the alarming feeling that one’s whole identity
个人的身份处在夫妻关系中要消失的边缘
appears to be on the verge of dissolving into the couple.
但是过于疏远会减弱忠诚度的力量
But too much distance can undermine fidelity no less powerfully.
距离好像是不断的拒绝
The distance reads like constant rejection:
当我们碰触伴侣
when we try to touch the partner,
他们躲开或者叹气
they move away or sigh.
当我们谈及私事
When we bring up something personal,
他们改变话题
they change the subject.
我们可能最终还是出轨了
We may end up having an affair,
不是因为我们不再爱伴侣了
not because we don’t love the partner any more
但是正因为我们爱伴侣
but precisely because we do…
并且距离的产生推动着我们
and yet the distance they appear to be imposing on us
由于缺少互动
through their lack of engagement
感觉无法忍受或者觉得受到羞辱
feels unendurable and humiliating.
最终讽刺的是
It’s the final irony that –
如果被抓现行 我们会被指控不在乎对方
if caught – we’ll be accused of not caring,
当我们太在乎
when it was caring too much
整个错误会导致出轨行为
that might have inspired the whole mistake an escapade.
可悲的是 两个进入一段关系的人
Tragically two people almost never enter a relationship
对于距离和亲密几乎没有相同的需求
with the same needs for Distance and Closeness.
这也是为什么每一对伴侣
That’s why in every couple,
我们听到这样的指责
we hear the accusation that
一方太粘人另一方太冷淡
one person is too clingy and another is too’ cold ’.
这些在于心理如何感受的恶毒的词汇
These are on helpfully vicious words for what are at heart
只是在爱情中感到舒服的两种不同的方式
just two different ways of feeling comfortable in love.
因此在一段关系中早期要做的事就是
it’s there for an early imperative in any relationship
确定这段关系所需要的
to work out what the relative needs
距离和亲密真正是什么
for distance and closeness actually are
透露这种分离感 而不是对此感到生气
to air the disjuncture, not to get angry about it,
并且互相幽默的道歉
and mutually and with good humour to apologise
因为某人的独特作为
for one’s distinctive contribution to it.
因此我们可以希望保证
Only thus can we hope to ensure
这种差距不会导致
that the gap won’t lead
线上交流
– in an online chat,
在酒吧或者在会议
at a bar or at a conference –
在某种只有出轨
to a situation where only an affair
才是一种貌似合理的解决
feels like a plausible solution
令人苦恼的距离和亲密的问题
to the vexing problems of distance and closeness

发表评论

译制信息
视频概述

婚外情是由什么推动的,是自己还是伴侣导致的?了解它对于感情相处有什么帮助呢?

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Baozi

审核员

审核员#LY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d079McwlBRE

相关推荐