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Why Love requires Generosity

We think of love as founded on admiration for our partner.
然而很多时候 我们应该明白爱对方就要学会包容她的缺点
Instead,a lot of the time,we should see love as an act of generosity towards our partner’s less appealing side.
-Dinner is ready.
-Why didn’t you ask me if I was hungry? -I did.
你说你6点左右会饿 现在6点半了
You said you’d be hungry by 6. It’s 6:30 now.
-But I am not,
so I don’t want it now.
虽然我们可能看起来像个大人 但是很多方面我们仍然会孩子气
Although we may look like adults,in many ways we remain children.
-How’s work?
-出啥岔子了吗?-不 我很好 别问了
-Is something wrong? -No, I’m fine. Just stop asking me.
Like children,we are not always able to diagnose and communicate what is really bothering us.
-宝贝 你不想吃就不用吃了 不要强迫自己
-Babe, you don’t wanna have it, then just don’t have it. You don’t have to eat it.
不好意思 但是你脑子里肯定是这样想的:
-I’m sorry but you’ve got this thing in your head about like,
“我今天要做一个真正的意式料理”但就这个也太次 太生了-这很有嚼劲啊
‘ooh I’m gonna make a really authentic Italian dinner’, and it’s just this absolutely rank, raw.. -That’s al dente.
-That’s al dente?
好吧 我的锅
Alright, sorry my mistake.
It’s lovely.
Mmm 好好吃
Mmm, delicious
并非意味着要把我们的爱人当作小孩一样对待 但是他们的抱怨可能会有更深层的意义
This doesn’t mean our partner should be treated like children, but that their complaints might need to be translated for their deeper meaning.
Right, come on.
我的天啦-让我静一会儿 我希望你能抱抱我
Oh for God’s sake. -Leave me alone.I wish you’d just hold me
-快点起来梳洗一下 我们要迟到了
-Now come on get dressed we’re gonna be late. Come on.
-我不想去了 我现在啥事儿也做不了-什么?你一定要来啊 这不是复古晚宴 今天是我妈妈的生日
-I’m not going. I can’t face anything right now-What? you have to come, it’s not just any old dinner it’s my mom’s birthday.
She’s expecting you to be there.She hates me.
她讨厌我 她知道我是个骗子 -不 我不喜欢你的老母 我不晓得你为啥一直让我参加这些东西
She hates me.She knows i am a fraud.-No, I don’t even like your mom I don’t know why you keep asking me to go to these things.
当我们可以处理这些琐事时 我们应该专注于抚慰爱人而不是给对方施加同等的压力
When we can manage it,we should focus on soothing and reassuring rather than hitting back with equal force.
-你不必强迫自己来了 我去告诉他们你今天人不舒服
-You don’t have to come. I’ll tell them you’re not well,
我会尽可能早点回来 然后我们一起去看个电影或者干点别的
and try and leave early and come back and we’ll just watch a film or something.
慷慨的爱并不意味着你软弱 这是你对爱人虚弱一面的包容
The will to be generous isn’t weakness,it’s charity towards the partner’s frailties.
但这是基于我们双方很快就会和好如初之上 只是需要时间来包容一下
based on a sound recognition that we too will soon enough need them to be benevolent to us.
-别 别这样 别-怎么了?
-Stop, stop it, stop. -What’s wrong?
I feel ugly.
-我说过别这样了 我在读书呢 让你伤心我耿耿于怀
-I said stop! I am reading.I am terrified of disappointing you.
我在看书呢 你从来不给我一点个人空间
I am reading a book, you never give me any space!
虽然很高兴被人爱慕 但是我们最终会发现 我们的弱点在于无法友善的回应对方的爱举
Although it is gratifying to be admired,we will finally have taste love when it is our weakness that inspire a kindly response.
-对不起啦 我不想一直黏着你的 好的吧 没有压力了吧~~
-Sorry. I don’t mean to crowd to you. It’s fine, no pressure.
-不是的 对不起 我不该朝你发火的
-No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to explode like that.
-It’s okay.
I love you.
我也爱你哦 但是我现在要继续看书了
-I love you too, but I am gonna read.
哇塞 天哪 名副其实的恐怖小说啊[女人的笑声]
Ah! Oh God, it’s as scary as it looks. Scary book. [Girl laughing]
那家伙之前告诉过你 这很恐怖~\(≧▽≦)/~啦
-That’s the part that guy told you.
每个因为喜欢走到一起的人 经过时间的推移 都需要一定的包容
Anyone we get together with will,over time,require a considerable degree of generosity.
拥有了足够的耐心和同情心 我们可以热爱每个人 甚至是外表畸形以及饱受磨难的人们
With enough patience and sympathy we could love almost anyone,even the most outwardly gnarled and damaged person.
That’s why we call love-with good reason-hard work.
它并不代表爱已误入歧途 而是进化成成熟的 坚不可摧的 有意义的一种形式
It isn’t a sign that love has gone wrong,but that it is grown into something mature,substantial and worth valuing.