Love & Education
There’s a view around that the most romantic thing you can tell someone else is:
I don’t want to change a thing about you.
I love you exactly as you are.
According to a prevalent romantic philosophy,
love is definitely not meant to be
about trying to alter another person.
But a blank refusal to listen to any idea of change at our lover’s hands
是不理智的 毕竟金无足赤 人无完人
would only make sense if we were in fact already more or less perfect
and yet the more time two people spend around each other,
the more they are naturally going to spot things that are a little less than ideal.
It might be something quite small, their way of chewing perhaps,
or something larger, their attitude to their career or family.
Many other people might have spotted these problems before.
If they never said anything, it’s not because they’re nicer,
just far less concerned.
But our lovers can and have to be bothered.
It’s the mix privilege of the job.
然而 因为观念问题 爱情中的教育问题并没有得到重视
However, because of concept of education in love has such low status,
things tend to go terribly wrong
when there’s a lesson to impart.
From a lack of confidence in the legitimacy of their task,
the lover with something to teach maybe neither calm nor prepared.
Further more, because so much is at stake,
a fear of not being listened to. It was something vital
can quickly explode into rage your surface.
as for the one who has something to learn
our culture immediately makes them feel that
the feedback is by nature unromantic and illegitimate.
They can feel got at, picked on and humiliated,
and so may fall back on that comforting yet nonsensical line
‘ 如果你爱我 就不会这么苛求我 ‘
“You wouldn’t criticize me if you loved me.”
In love were too often terrible educators
Yet in truth, we are all so imperfect.
We’ve got to teach and learn.
Good criticism is the salvation, not the end of love.
A lot about love is about tolerating and accepting frailties.
But some of it is also about offering the sort of feedback
that no one else gives a damn enough to give us.
Love should be not about cherishing everything,
but about seeing the full potential in one or another.
And therefore about trusting in one another enough to listen to challenging information.
Good love means two people on a rotating basis,
knowing how to take on the roles both of
really kind teacher and
deeply open-minded undefensive student.
Did you know that the School of Life is actually a place,
而是许许多多处 它遍布世界 从墨尔本到伦敦
ten places in fact, campuses all over the world from Melbourne to London,
从台北到伊斯坦布尔 有班级和课本 还有更多……
Taipei to Istanbul, with classes and books and lots more.
Please click on the link below to explore more.