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为什么要多听少说?

Why Listening is Better Than Talking | Brian Tracy

你好 我是布莱恩·崔西
Hello, I’m Brian Tracy
今天我想和你们谈谈
and today I want to talk to you about
如何更好地倾听
how to improve the way you listen.
交流是一种可以通过学习获得的技能
Communication is a skill that you can learn,
如果你愿意付出汗水
if you’re willing to work at it,
就能从各方面迅速提高生活品质
you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.
提高交流效率的最重要因素
The most important factor in communicating more effectively
不是侃侃而谈 恰恰相反
is actually the opposite of talking.
是提高倾听能力
It’s improving your listening skills.
你必须学会提问
You must learn to start asking questions
全神贯注地倾听 不打断别人
and listen attentively without interruptions.
通常 人们会关注自己最重视的人
As a rule you pay attention to people you most value.
如果你在别人说话的时候认真关注他们
When you pay close attention to another person when they are talking,
你向对方传递的信息就是 你很重视他们
you signal to that person that you very much value them
并且十分在意他们的评价
and the content of their comments.
这样做相当讨人喜欢
This is very flattering to another person
也让对方温柔地对待你的倾听
and it causes them to respond warmly to your attentiveness.
大多数人倾听能力不足的主要原因是
The major reason that most people have poor listening skills
他们在别人还在说话的时候
is that they’re busy preparing a reply
就忙着准备回复
while the other person is still speaking.
实际上 这些人根本没有认真倾听对方在说什么
In fact, they’re not even listening closely to what the other person is saying.
他们在胡思乱想 或者组织自己的语言
They are thinking of other things and formulating their comments to
准备等对方一停下来 就立刻接上去
be ready as soon as the other person takes a breath.
高效的交流需要双方面对面
Effective communication requires that you face the other person directly,
身体稍稍前倾 抓住对方说的每个字
lean slightly forward and hang on to every word,
仿佛世上再没有比你对面这个人谈论的事情
listen as though there were nothing else in the world more fascinating to you
更能吸引你的了
than what the other person is saying.
顺便说一句 这招在爱情里也效果惊人
In romantic relationships, by the way, this is incredibly effective.
最优秀的谈话者似乎已经发现了一个秘诀
The very best conversationalist seem to have identified
在倾听时 让说话者认为自己是
the knack of making the person that they’re listening to feel
世界上唯一
as if he or she were the only person in the world.
优秀的谈话者 即使在拥挤的房间里 也能做到这一点
Good conversationalist can do this in the middle of a crowded room.
戴尔·卡耐基曾说 全神贯注是最高级的恭维
Dale Carnegie once said that rapt attention is the highest form of flattery.
我再重复一次 全神贯注
Let me repeat, rapt, close attention
是恭维或认可他人价值的最高形式
is the highest form of flattery or paying value to another person.
如果你想恭维某人
If you want to flatter a person
让他/她对你的看法有所提升
and cause him or her to think highly of you,
只需认真倾听他/她说的每个字 丝毫也不要走神
just pay close undivided attention to every single word that he or she says,
仿佛对方就要告诉你彩票中奖号码一样
as though he or she were about to give you the winning lottery number
而且只说一遍
and would only repeat it once.
当你展现出自己高效的交流和倾听能力
You’ll be amazed at how much more conversational a person becomes and
就会为一个人能变得有多么健谈
how much happier they are with you,
他们和你共处时有多么开心而感到惊讶
when you show them that you have effective communication and listening skills.
因为你是一个优秀的倾听者
Because you listen so well.
除了在倾听时不打断对方
In addition to listening without interrupting,
你还应该点头微笑
you should also nod and smile
对对方说的话表示赞同
and agree with what the other person is saying.
要表现地主动些 而不是被动
Be active rather than passive,
以此表明你全身心投入了这次交流
indicate that you’re totally engaged in the conversation,
在对方说话时 和他们进行眼神交流
make eye contact as the other person talks,
放松身体
relax your body and
如果你站着 将身体重心前移到前脚掌
if you are standing allow your weight to roll forward onto the balls of your feet.
只有你知道自己将身体重心转移了
Only you will know that you have shifted your weight like this.
而你给说话者的整体感觉是
But the overall impression you will give the speaker
你身体的全部能量现在都前移了
is that your whole energy is now forward
并且注意力集中在他/她说的话上
and focused on what he or she is saying.
怎样才能得到这样一个提升倾听能力的机会
How do you get this opportunity to listen so well?
很简单
Simple.
提出的问题要合适且切中要害
Start asking questions that are good and pointed
一个接一个地提问
and keep asking questions one after the other.
交流时
When communicating,
有三个有力的问题
there are 3 powerful questions you can use to
可以用来控制交流进程 打开对方的话匣子
control any conversation to open up the other person
让他们详细地谈谈自己
and to get the other person talking extensively about himself or herself.
结识新朋友的时候 第一个可以提的问题是
The first question when you meet a new person is
“你是做哪一类工作的?”
“What sort of work do you do?”.
这个问题很好回答 很笼统
By asking questions that are easy, in general and
也不需要对方回答现在的具体工作或职位
that do not demand information on the person’s current job or position,
这给了对方简略回答 或是深入这个话题的选择权
it gives the individual the choice of answering you briefly or in-depth.
记住 人们很容易为自己的工作着迷
Remember people are fascinated by their own work that
毕竟工作在人生中占据了很长时间
takes up so many hours of their lives and
当你问这个问题时
when you ask the question,
人们会告诉你他们人生中最重要的事情
they love to tell you about something that is central to their existence.
紧接着 第二个问题是
Your second question to follow the first is
“你是怎样进入这个行业的呢?”
“How did you get into that line of work anyway?”.
问这个问题的时候
Start asking questions
要表现出你对对方从事这一行业
as though you are absolutely fascinated by the choices
倍感惊奇
that he or she made to get into that particular field.
我有时会开玩笑 大多数人认为
I sometimes joke that most people feel that
自己的职业生涯
their personal career paths
是地球上最引人入胜的故事之一
are among the most fascinating stories ever told on earth.
当你问起他们
When you start asking questions about
“你们是怎么进入这一行业?”
“How they got into their current line of work?”,
他们通常会很乐意告诉你
they will usually be very pleased to tell you about
自己职业生涯中的各种波澜起伏
the various twists and turns of their lies and career
以及最终导致他们从事
and the factors that lead ultimately to them doing the job
当前这一职业的种种因素
that they are doing at the current time.
当对方犹豫不决 或者减慢语速
The third question you can ask
看你是否真的对此感兴趣
when the other person hesitates or slows down to
还是只是为了延续对话
check to see if you are really interested
这时你就可以问出第三个问题:
or if you’re just making conversation is this:
“然后你又怎么做了呢?”
“And then what did you do?”.
这第三个问题几乎是让聊天无限进行下去的万金油
This third question can be used to keep almost any conversation going indefinitely,
就像转碟子一样
like keeping plates spinning.
你可以问 “你是在什么机缘巧合下搬到这座城市来的?”
You can ask “How did you happen to move to the city?”
或者 “你怎么会去那家公司工作呢?”
or “How did you happen to go to work for that company?”
或者 “你为什么选择了这项运动或这个活动?”
or “How did you happen to choose this sport or activity?”.
人们很乐意为你解答这类问题
People will be more than willing to answer these questions for you
当他们因为某种理由放慢语速
and when they slow down for any reason,
你要亲切地微笑 身体稍稍前倾 然后问
you smile pleasantly, lean forward a little bit and ask
你接下来又怎么做了呢
and then what did you do?
你会被对方的反应震惊
You will be amazed at the responses.
试着用这些小技巧 让和你交流的人感到自己的重要性
Try these tips to make any person you’re talking to feel more important
与此同时 提升你的沟通和倾听能力
and improve your communication and listening skills at the same time.
一个关键点在于 当你提问的时候
One key point is that when you ask a question,
让对方感到你真的关注问题答案的唯一方法在于
the only way that the other person knows that you care about the answer
你要停顿一下 留出时间
is if you pause and you leave a silence,
让对方能用空出来的时间回答问题
so the other person can fill the silence with their answer.
许多人认为
Many people think that
他们只要问出一堆问题 就能成为优秀的沟通者
they’re becoming good communicators by asking lots of questions.
但是却没有留给对方回答问题的时间
But they don’t leave any time for the other person to respond.
当你留给对方回答问题的时间
When you leave time for the other person to respond
稍稍前倾 在对方说话时注视着他们的嘴部
and lean forward and watch the person’s mouth while they speak,
他们就会知道 也会感觉到
they will know and feel that
你真的很关注这个问题的答案
you really care about the answer to the question.
现在 我想听听你的看法
Now I’d love to hear from you,
今天 我的问题是:
so my question today is:
你曾经做过什么样的事 提高了自己的倾听能力?
What have you tried that’s helped you to become a better listener?
在视频下方评论
Leave a comment below
我一定会和你讨论
and I’ll be sure to follow up with you.
感谢观看
Thanks for watching
记住 如果你想改变自己的未来
and remember if you want to change your future,
行动起来 现在就行动起来
take action and take action now!
如果你觉得这个视频不错
If you enjoyed this video and feel that it was valuable in
对提高你的沟通能力很有价值
teaching you about communication skills,
订阅我的频道吧 为这个视频点赞
subscribe to my channel, like this video
并且把这个视频分享给朋友们
and share this video with your friends.
别忘了点击屏幕 将有免费礼物送出
Don’t forget to click the button on the screen for a free gift.
再次感谢您的观看!
Thanks again for watching!

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视频概述

学会倾听,高效交流。

听录译者

徘徊的小孩

翻译译者

安静的宅男

审核员

审核员#LY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5Zi_G2MTHw

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