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当别人都在嘲笑我的口音时,我为什么仍要继续说话 – 译学馆
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当别人都在嘲笑我的口音时,我为什么仍要继续说话

Why I keep speaking up, even when people mock my accent | Safwat Saleem

我以前常常做一个梦,
I used to have this recurring dream
梦到我走进一个满是人的房间,
where I’d walk into a roomful of people,
我小心翼翼地避开每个人的眼神。
and I’d try not to make eye contact with anyone.
直到有个人注意到我,
Until someone notices me,
我就慌了。
and I just panic.
然后,这个人向我走来,
And the person walks up to me,
说:“你好,我的名字叫某某某,
and says, “Hi, my name is So-and-so.
你叫什么?”
And what is your name?”
我就一句话都说不出了。
And I’m just quiet, unable to respond.
尴尬的沉默后,他继续问道,
After some awkward silence, he goes,
“你忘了自己的名字吗?”
“Have you forgotten your name?”
我还是一句话都说不出。
And I’m still quiet.
然后,慢慢地, 屋子里的所有人都转过身,看着我。
And then, slowly, all the other people in the room begin to turn toward me
几乎是齐声问我:
and ask, almost in unison,
(画外音,各种声音) “你是忘了自己的名字吗?”
(Voice-over, several voices) “Have you forgotten your name?”
声音越来越大, 我很想回答,但是答不出口。
As the chant gets louder, I want to respond, but I don’t.
我是个视觉艺术家。
I’m a visual artist.
我的工作有时候很幽默,
Some of my work is humorous,
有时候却是黑色幽默。
and some is a bit funny but in a sad way.
我很喜欢一件事,
And one thing that I really enjoy doing
就是做这些小动画,
is making these little animations
我很喜欢给各种角色配音。
where I get to do the voice-over for all kinds of characters.
我为熊配过音
I’ve been a bear.
(视频)熊(萨配音):你好。
(Video) Bear (Safwat Saleem’s voice): Hi.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
萨:我为鲸鱼配过音。
Safwat Saleem: I’ve been a whale.
(视频)鲸鱼(萨配音):你好。
(Video) Whale (SS’s voice): Hi.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
萨:我还为贺卡配过音。
SS: I’ve been a greeting card.
(视频)贺卡(萨配音)你好。
(Video) Greeting card (SS’s voice): Hi.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
萨:而我个人最喜欢的是科学怪人。
SS: And my personal favorite is Frankenstein’s monster.
(视频)科学怪人(萨配音):咕噜
(Video) Frankenstein’s monster (SS’s voice): (Grunts)
(笑声)
(Laughter)
萨:这一个,我只需要发出 咕噜咕噜的声音。
SS: I just had to grunt a lot for that one.
几年前,我做过一个教育片,
A few years ago, I made this educational video
是关于电子游戏史的。
about the history of video games.
在那部片子里,我为太空侵略者配音。
And for that one, I got to do the voice of Space Invader.
(视频)太空侵略者(萨配音):你好。
(Video) Space Invader (SS’s voice): Hi.
萨:我的梦想实现了,真的。
SS: A dream come true, really,
(笑声)
(Laughter)
当视频在网络上发布以后,
And when that video was posted online,
我就坐在电脑面前 不停地敲“刷新”键,
I just sat there on the computer, hitting “refresh,”
很期待观众的反应。
excited to see the response.
第一个评论是这样说的:
The first comment comes in.
(视频)评论:干得不错。
(Video) Comment: Great job.
萨:太好了!
SS: Yes!
我接着敲“刷新”键,
I hit “refresh.”
(视频)评论:很棒的视频, 期待你的下一部作品。
(Video) Comment: Excellent video. I look forward to the next one.
萨:目前发布的只是上半部,
SS: This was just the first of a two-part video.
我正在准备着制作下半部。
I was going to work on the second one next.
我再敲“刷新”键
I hit “refresh.”
(视频)评论:下半部在哪哪哪哪? 我现在就想看啊啊啊!
(Video) Comment: Where is part TWO? WHEREEEEE? I need it NOWWWWW!: P
(笑声)
(Laughter)
萨:除了我妈以外,所有人都在夸我。
SS: People other than my mom were saying nice things about me,
这可是在网络上啊!
on the Internet!
我感觉像获得了最终的胜利一样。
It felt like I had finally arrived.
我继续敲“刷新”键,
I hit “refresh.”
(视频)评论:他的声音真不好听,别介意啊。
(Video) Comment: His voice is annoying. No offense.
萨: 好好好,不介意,刷新。
SS: OK, no offense taken. Refresh.
(视频)评论:能再做一个 没有含着花生酱录的版本吗?
(Video) Comment: Could you remake this without peanut butter in your mouth?
萨:这个反馈勉强算是有点用。 接着刷新。
SS: OK, at least the feedback is somewhat constructive. Hit “refresh.”
(视频)评论:别再用这个人配音了,
(Video) Comment: Please don’t use this narrator again
根本听不懂他在说什么。
u can barely understand him.
萨:刷新。
SS: Refresh.
(视频)评论:这印度口音让人根本听不清。
(Video) Comment: Couldn’t follow because of the Indian accent.
萨:好吧好吧,我就说两件事,
SS: OK, OK, OK, two things.
第一,我没有印度口音,
Number one, I don’t have an Indian accent,
我是巴基斯坦口音好吗?
I have a Pakistani accent, OK?
第二,我明显是巴基斯坦口音嘛。
And number two, I clearly have a Pakistani accent.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
像这样的评论越来越多,
But comments like that kept coming in,
我决定无视他们,
so I figured I should just ignore them
开始制作视频的下半部。
and start working on the second part of the video.
我录下了音频,
I recorded my audio,
但每次我想剪辑的时候,
but every time I sat down to edit,
我就是做不下去。
I just could not do it.
每一次, 这都让我想起我小时候,
Every single time, it would take me back to my childhood,
那时我说话更糟糕。
when I had a much harder time speaking.
我说话一直都结结巴巴的。
I’ve stuttered for as long as I can remember.
我就是班里那种
I was the kid in class
从不举手提问
who would never raise his hand when he had a question —
也从不回答问题的学生。
or knew the answer.
每一次电话铃声响起,
Every time the phone rang,
我就会跑到厕所, 这样就可以不用接电话了。
I would run to the bathroom so I would not have to answer it.
如果电话是找我的, 我爸妈就会说我不在家。
If it was for me, my parents would say I’m not around.
我总是躲在厕所里。
I spent a lot of time in the bathroom.
我最讨厌自我介绍,
And I hated introducing myself,
尤其是面对很多的人的时候。
especially in groups.
我连自己的名字都说不顺, 这时总会有人问,
I’d always stutter on my name, and there was usually someone who’d go,
“你连自己的名字都不记得了吗?”
“Have you forgotten your name?”
然后所有人都笑了。
And then everybody would laugh.
这个笑话一直伴随着我。
That joke never got old.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
小时候我总觉得, 只要我一说话,
I spent my childhood feeling that if I spoke,
别人就会觉得我有问题,
it would become obvious that there was something wrong with me,
觉得我不正常。
that I was not normal.
于是我总是很安静。
So I mostly stayed quiet.
所以你看, 把我自己的声音用到我的作品里,
And so you see, eventually for me to even be able to use my voice in my work
于我而言,已经是非常大的进步了。
was a huge step for me.
每当我录音的时候,
Every time I record audio,
我总是笨手笨脚的, 一句话要说好多好多遍。
I fumble my way through saying each sentence many, many times,
然后当我剪辑的时候,
and then I go back in
我就会挑一个我觉得最不糟糕的。
and pick the ones where I think I suck the least.
(画外音)萨:音频剪辑就像 给你的声音Photoshop一样。
(Voice-over) SS: Audio editing is like Photoshop for your voice.
我给它减速、加速, 让它变得深沉、加上回音。
I can slow it down, speed it up, make it deeper, add an echo.
如果我说得不顺畅, 如果我说得不顺畅,
And if I stutter along the way, and if I stutter along the way,
我就重新再修改一遍。
I just go back in and fix it.
这就像魔法一样。
It’s magic.
萨:将经过大幅度修饰的声音 用到我的视频里,
SS: Using my highly edited voice in my work
才能让我觉得自己的声音正常了一些。
was a way for me to finally sound normal to myself.
不过自从看了那些评论,
But after the comments on the video,
这也不能让我觉得正常了。
it no longer made me feel normal.
于是我不再把自己的声音用到视频里。
And so I stopped using my voice in my work.
在那之后,我想了很多 人们所谓的“正常”到底是什么?
Since then, I’ve thought a lot about what it means to be normal.
后来我开始理解了,
And I’ve come to understand
所谓的“正常” 与人们的期待值有关。
that “normal” has a lot to do with expectations.
举个例子吧,
Let me give you an example.
我想到一个故事,
I came across this story
是关于古希腊作家荷马的。
about the Ancient Greek writer, Homer.
在荷马的作品里 只提到了非常少的几种颜色。
Now, Homer mentions very few colors in his writing.
即使在描写颜色的时候,
And even when he does,
荷马笔下的颜色 也和现代人的常识不尽相同。
he seems to get them quite a bit wrong.
比如说,荷马说海是酒红色的,
For example, the sea is described as wine red,
人的脸有时是绿色的, 而绵羊则是紫色的。
people’s faces are sometimes green and sheep are purple.
这种现象不单单出现在荷马的作品里。
But it’s not just Homer.
在世界古典文学中——
If you look at all of the ancient literature —
古代中国、冰岛、希腊、印度的文学
Ancient Chinese, Icelandic, Greek, Indian
甚至是在希伯来圣经中
and even the original Hebrew Bible —
提到的颜色都很少。
they all mention very few colors.
对这种现象最出名的解释是:
And the most popular theory for why that might be the case
一个文明首先要能生产出一种颜色,
is that cultures begin to recognize a color
然后才能识别出这种颜色。
only once they have the ability to make that color.
简单的说,你只有先制造出一种颜色,
So basically, if you can make a color,
才能“看见”这种颜色。
only then can you see it.
像红色这种比较方便制造的颜色
A color like red, which was fairly easy for many cultures to make —
就能比较早的出现在各大文明的认知中。
they began to see that color fairly early on.
然而像蓝色这种 不那么方便制作的颜色,
But a color like blue, which was much harder to make —
很多文明都花了相当长的时间
many cultures didn’t begin to learn how to make that color
才最终制造出了蓝色。
until much later.
于是他们也花了相当长的时间 来最终“看见”蓝色。
They didn’t begin to see it until much later as well.
在一个颜色被制造出来之前 就算它随处可见,
So until then, even though a color might be all around them,
人们也对它视而不见。
they simply did not have the ability to see it.
就好像这种颜色是隐形的一样。
It was invisIble.
这种颜色不在人们 “正常”的认知范畴里。
It was not a part of their normal.
这个说法和我的自身经历很契合。
And that story has helped put my own experience into context.
当我第一次看到那些评论时,
So when I first read the comments on the video,
我的第一反应是 那些评论都是针对我的。
my initial reaction was to take it all very personally.
不过事实上 那些评论者并不知道,
But the people commenting did not know
我对自己的声音那么在意。
how self-conscious I am about my voice.
他们的评论都是关于我的口音。
They were mostly reacting to my accent,
他们认为一个带口音的配音者 是不常见的、不正常的。
that it is not normal for a narrator to have an accent.
不过话说回来,什么才算正常?
But what is normal, anyway?
评论家会在你的作品里 挑出很多拼写错误,
We know that reviewers will find more spelling errors in your writing
仅仅因为他以为你是个黑人。
if they think you’re black.
教授会不那么情愿去辅导 女学生、或者少数族裔学生。
We know that professors are less likely to help female or minority students.
一份有着看起来 像是白人名字的简历,
And we know that resumes with white-sounding names
比起写着黑人名字的简历 要有更高的通过率。
get more callbacks than resumes with black-sounding names.
为什么会这样?
Why is that?
这都是因为我们对常识的刻板印象。
Because of our expectations of what is normal.
常识告诉我们,
We think it is normal
黑人学生往往会有拼写错误。
when a black student has spelling errors.
常识告诉我们,
We think it is normal
女学生和少数族裔学生 往往在学术领域少有建树。
when a female or minority student does not succeed.
常识告诉我们,
And we think it is normal
一个白人员工往往要比黑人员工好。
that a white employee is a better hire than a black employee.
但是研究表明, 像这一类的区别判断,
But studies also show that discrimination of this kind,
通常只是偏见而无事实依据。
in most cases, is simply favoritism,
而这种偏见让我们倾向于去帮助同类,
and it results more from wanting to help people that you can relate to
而伤害异类。
than the desire to harm people that you can’t relate to.
人类在很小的时候 就开始区分同类与异类。
And not relating to people starts at a very early age.
举个例子,
Let me give you an example.
有一个图书馆把每年出版的 儿童故事书
One library that keeps track of characters
里面的角色都记录了下来。
in the children’s book collection every year,
他们发现, 在2014年 只有11%的角色
found that in 2014, only about 11 percent of the books
是有色人种。
had a character of color.
而这个数值在2013年 只有8%。
And just the year before, that number was about eight percent,
可事实上,有一半的美国儿童 都是少数族裔。
even though half of American children today come from a minority background.
50%啊。
Half.
这就导致了两个问题,
So there are two big issues here.
第一,我们一方面告诉孩子们 他们可以成为任何人,
Number one, children are told that they can be anything,
他们有能做任何事的潜力,
they can do anything,
然而另一方面 少数族裔的孩子们,
and yet, most stories that children of color consume
看到的故事 却都是关于其他人的。
are about people who are not like them.
第二,多数族裔的人没有意识到
Number two is that majority groups don’t get to realize
他们其实与少数族裔的人 有很多相似之处——
the great extent to which they are similar to minorities —
我们的日常生活,我们的期待,
our everyday experiences, our hopes,
我们的梦想,我们的恐惧, 都是相似的。
our dreams, our fears
甚至我们对鹰嘴豆泥的喜好 也是一样的,
and our mutual love for hummus.
真的很好吃嘛!
It’s delicious!
(笑声)
(Laughter)
就像蓝色之于古希腊人,
Just like the color blue for Ancient Greeks,
少数族裔之于我们的社会而言 也不在“正常”的范畴之内。
minorities are not a part of what we consider normal,
因为我们对“正常”的界定 形成于日常生活之中,
because normal is simply a construction of what we’ve been exposed to,
取决于我们的见识,
and how visible it is around us.
这就是症结所在。
And this is where things get a bit difficult.
我可以选择认可所谓的“正常” 所有在正常范畴内的都是好的,
I can accept the preexisting notion of normal — that normal is good,
而在“正常”这个狭隘的定义之外 一切都是不好的。
and anything outside of that very narrow definition of normal is bad.
我也可以选择挑战 所谓的“正常”,
Or I can challenge that preexisting notion of normal
就凭着我的作品,
with my work
我的声音,
and with my voice
还有我的口音,
and with my accent
以及我现在的演讲。
and by standing here onstage,
尽管我现在紧张得要死, 恨不得马上躲进洗手间里。
even though I’m scared shitless and would rather be in the bathroom.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
(掌声)
(Applause)
(视频)绵羊(萨配音): 现在我又逐渐开始用自己的声音
(Video) Sheep (SS’s voice): I’m now slowly starting to use my voice
给作品配音了。
in my work again.
这感觉真好。
And it feels good.
这不是说我的声音完美无缺了,
It does not mean I won’t have a breakdown
下一次还会有一堆人 说我的声音
the next time a couple dozen people say that I talk
(含糊不清地)好像含了花生酱 在嘴里一样,
(Mumbling) like I have peanut butter in my mouth.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
萨:而是说我现在 更加清楚
SS: It just means I now have a much better understanding
什么是至关重要的,
of what’s at stake,
以及放弃 并不是一种选择。
and how giving up is not an option.
古希腊人不是一觉醒来就发现
The Ancient Greeks didn’t just wake up one day and realize
天空是蓝色的。
that the sky was blue.
人们花了很长的时间才渐渐注意到
It took centuries, even, for humans to realize what we had been ignoring
那些曾经被忽略了很久的事物。
for so long.
所以我们必须要经常挑战 我们对“正常”的界定。
And so we must continuously challenge our notion of normal,
因为这样做可以使整个社会
because doing so is going to allow us as a society
最终看清天空的颜色。
to finally see the sky for what it is.
(视频)角色:谢谢!谢谢! 谢谢!谢谢!谢谢!
(Video) Characters: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
科学怪人:(咕噜)
Frankenstein’s monster: (Grunts)
(笑声)
(Laughter)
萨:谢谢。
SS: Thank you.
(掌声)
(Applause)

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