ADM-201 dump PMP dumps pdf SSCP exam materials CBAP exam sample questions

三招教你缓解分手后的孤独感 – 译学馆
未登录,请登录后再发表信息
最新评论 (0)
播放视频

三招教你缓解分手后的孤独感

When You Feel Alone After Heartbreak (3 Secrets To Moving On)... (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

每周我都会在Instagram和Facebook上提出一个问题
Each week on Instagram and Facebook I put out a question of a week
试图切身体会和了解人们的感受和经历
of the week to try and really get a temperature for what people are feeling, and going through.
某一周时 我问道
One week I said
“什么事情最让你无法
“What’s the #1 thing that has made it hardest
从过往的一段感情中走出来?”
for you to move on from a past relationship?”
我收到了2,500余条评论
Twenty-five hundred comments came in.
点赞最多的前十条评论
Of the top ten most liked comments,
大概都是如下这些主题的内容
here were a few, and you’ll notice the theme.
“仍然抱有希望
“Holding onto hope.
希望之前的那个人还会再次出现”
Hope that the person they were before will show up again.”
“忘却那些一起做的不可能
“Letting go of the dreams we had together
实现的梦想”
that would never see the light of day.”
“很难不去回想过去是怎样
“It’s really hard not to reflect on what was,
不去想象未来会怎样”
and imagine what could have been.”
今年这个时候
We are at a time of year
对孤独的人来说是特别痛苦的
where it can be particularly painful to be alone,
当我们失去了封存在内心某处
and it can be really painful to be alone
本该在一起的人的时候
when we’ve lost someone that
孤独一人便甚是痛苦
somewhere in our mind we had as the person we were supposed to be with.
当我们认为感情结束的理由
That pain can be made even worse
是因为自己的所做所为时
if we think that the reason the relationship didn’t work,
那种痛苦或许会更加强烈
was because of something we did.
也许我们太过焦虑
Maybe we we’re too anxious.
太缺乏安全感 太想控制 过分嫉妒 压力太大……
Maybe we we’re too insecure, too controlling, too jealous, too stressed…
当你这么想时就很危险
When you feel like that it’s dangerous
因为你在用负罪感 耻辱感
because now you can torture yourself with guilt, shame,
持续的自我评判 自责 自我厌恶折磨自己
constant self-judgement, self-blame,self-loathing
并且这会将你带入一个循环 即是
and that puts you on a loop, and the loop is,
“如果当时我这么做的话
‘If I’d only done it this way,
现在应该还与他在一起”
I still would have that person.”
“如果我当时只是……”
‘If I’d only been this way…”
“如果我当时停止做那种事的话
”If I’d only stopped doing that thing,
那个人或许仍然还在我身边
that person would still be in my life
我应该对我自己现在单身的事实负责
and I am to blame for the fact that I am now alone,
很想念那个本该在一起的人”
and missing the person I was supposed to be with.”
这是个循环
It’s a circle.
一个无法逃离的循环
It doesn’t go anywhere.
它不会带给你任何实际的意义和结果
It doesn’t take you anywhere practical, or productive.
更不会让人回心转意
It doesn’t get someone back.
它不会帮你继续前行 做得更好
It doesn’t help you do the work to move on, to be better
不会杜绝我们负面的行为
to eradicate some of our negative behaviors,
不会让你变得坚强 更为鼓舞 更加自信
to become stronger, more empowered, more confident.
它只会让你停驻原地
It just keeps you exactly where you are,
内心狂躁而不安
going crazy inside your own mind.
我今天想要告诉你们三件事
I have three things that I wanna say to you today
希望它们能帮助你将那些糟糕的情绪和
that I’m hoping can be a pressure valve
让你止滞不前的情绪释放出去
for those horrible toxic feelings that keep you in that place.
我想说的第一件事是
The first thing I wanna say is
不要以为只要你做些不一样的事
don’t assume that if you had only done things differently
这段感情就会变得完美并能长久下去
that relationship would have been perfect, and would have lasted forever,
因为那只是种假设
because that’s an assumption.
你并不总是知道那个人
You don’t always know the real reasons
决定与你分手的真正原因
why someone has decided to break up with you.
他们说他们的理由
They give you their reasons,
但我们不能总只看这些表面
but we can’t always take those at face value.
他们通常只给我们最方便的理由
They often give us the most convenient reasons.
那些更容易让他们说出口的理由
The reasons that are easier for them to say.
与此同时 我们理所当然的以为这是分手的全部原因
Meanwhile, we go away thinking, that was one hundred percent of why they broke up with us,
于是就以为这是我们下半辈子
and we think for the rest of our lives,
不得不重视和改变的事情
that’s the thing we have to focus on and change,
但原因却并不全是这样
but they don’t give us the whole picture.
故通常 我们所有的假设都基于对他们有利的一个借口
So very often, we’re basing all of our assumptions around a convenient truth for them.
我们也要记得
We also have to remember that
如果我们能在感情中做得更好
if we had been better in the relationship,
如果我们能更强大
if we had been stronger,
那将会改变这段感情的走向
that would have changed the dynamic of the relationship,
有时 当你变得更强大
and sometimes when you get stronger,
更加自信
when you get more confident,
在感情中带入更多时
when you bring more to the relationship
这只会暴露对方更多的不足
it reveals more weaknesses in the other person.
也许他们会恐惧
Maybe they’ve become intimidated.
因你的魄力而感到害怕
Maybe they’ve become afraid of your personal power.
也许你会苛求更多
Maybe you start demanding more,
因为你变得更自信
because you feel more confident,
你感到有权在感情里获得更多
and you feel entitled to more in the relationship,
这便暴露了他们愿意给你的有多么少
and that exposes how little they’re really willing to give.
所以我们必须得仔细想想
So we have to be very careful in thinking that,
“如果我变得不同 一切都会很美好”
“Had I been different, everything would have been wonderful.”
这并不一定是正确的
That’s not necessarily true.
第二 若这段感情需要失败 才能让你发掘
Number Two What if that relationship needed to go wrong
你所有的潜能呢?
for you to fulfill your full potential,
因为我们在舒适区时不会想着改变
because we do not change when we’re comfortable.
只有在感受到真正的风险和后果时我们才会改变
We change when we feel genuine stakes, genuine consequences.
尽管这番话可能很难听得下去
This relationship, this pain that you’re feeling
但你在这段感情中经历的这种痛苦
as difficult as it may be to hear
能够成为你得到的最好的礼物
could be one of the greatest gifts you’ve ever received.
不仅仅对你 更对你未来的感情有益
Not just for yourself, but for your future relationship,
因为最终跟你在一起的人
because the person you ultimately end up with
将会从你正经历的这种苦楚中受益
is going to benefit from this suffering that you’re going through now
因此下一次你将会变成一个
because you’re gonna bring
更善良 更有同情心 更自信的你
a kinder, more compassionate, more confident you to the table next time
如果这种痛苦能够为你带来这样的效果
if this pain gets you to do the work.
但是 先别感觉太痛苦
And look, before that makes you feel too much,
你不一定要在生命中做出巨大的牺牲
like you have to sacrifice this incredible thing in your life
以得到你想要的改变
in order to get the change that you want.
让我来告诉你第三点
Let me make point number three.
没有一个人能
There isn’t one person
成为你生命中的那个令你满意的“唯一”
who is solely capable of fulfilling the role of”The One” in your life.
这星球上有七十亿人
There are seven billion people on this planet.
你很幸运能遇到一个
You were fortunate to have met one of the people
能让你爱得刻骨铭心的人
that you created a deep bond with
并且这段感情深到
and a relationship that was good enough
分手让你变得这样悲伤不已
that you can grieve over it in this way
但这并不意味着这样的人不多
but that doesn’t mean there aren’t many more of them out there.
他们正等着你
They are waiting for you
而且唯一一种能保证你
and the only way to guarantee
不会遇到这些人的方法
that you never experience any of those other lifetimes available to you
就是停留在那个自我责备
is to stay in that loop of self-blame
审视 羞愧 内疚的恶性循环中
and judgement, and shame, and guilt.
我经常看到两种技能
Look there are two skills that
而这些技能让他们过上了幸福
I see over and over again in people that lead happy
和成功的生活
and successful lives
那便是他们并没有逃避痛苦
and that is not that they avoid pain
而是
It’s…
毕竟每个人都会经历痛苦和苦难
Because everyone goes through pain, everyone goes through suffering
但他们却拥有这样的能力
It’s that they have this ability
原谅自己的过失
to forgive themselves for things that they’ve done wrong
原谅自己的弱点和错误
for weaknesses, for mistakes they’ve made
拥有重新看待任何情况的能力
and the ability to reframe
并且将它变成一种恩赐
any situation,and turn it into a gift
变成一些积极的事
turn it into something positive.
我希望 特别是在这个假日季
I hope, especially in this holiday season that you will
你能够找时间回顾一下这一年
find time to look back on this year
并宽恕自己
and forgive yourself for the ways that
今年搞砸了的事情
you screwed up this year
谅解自己在脆弱的时候犯过的错误
the weak moments, the mistakes
即使今年你在很多方面都搞砸了
and that even if you fucked up this year in a whole bunch of ways
就算你把一整年都搞砸了
even if you fucked the whole year up
你也可以回望并说道
you’re able to look back on it and say
“你知道吗? 那竟是件好事”
“You know what? Even that’s a good thing.”
这就是再审视
That’s reframing.
“就连这件事也是好事
“Even that’s a good thing,
因我而搞砸的和我犯下的那些错误……
because me screwing that up, me making all those mistakes…
其实是为我接下来要着手做的事情奠定基础”
That’s the foundation of what I’m about to do next.”
“那是我接下来做事的动力”
“That’s the motivation for what I’m about to do next.”
宽恕与再次审视
Forgive and Reframe.
两项极其重要的技能
Two valuable valuable skills
它们是一种艺术形式
and they are an art form
实践的次数越多
and the more we practice it
我们就会变得更好
the better we get
所以我希望你们能拥有个愉快的假期
So I hope you’re having a tremendous time over the holidays
顺便说一句
and by the way
如果你想和我一起学这两项技能
if you wan na learn these two things with me
就来加入我的静修吧
come join me on my retreat
与别人一起做这些事是我专长
I specialize in doing these things with people
我会教大家如何改变自己
and I take them through a transformative process
教大家做好这两项技能
where I show them how to do this
一旦他们做到了
and once they do it, it’s like
他们就会感到如释重负
the weight of the world is lifted off their shoulders
因为我们在生活中背负着这个负担
because we carry this stuff through our lives
实际上 我们也不必这样
and we don’t need to.
点击这个链接 自己来看看吧
Click the link, and check it out for yourself.
我知道是时候
I know that this is a time where
为每人准备很多礼物了
we’re buying lots of gifts for everyone else
但这也将会是你给自己最好的礼物
but this would be the greatest gift that you give yourself
它将改变你的生活
because it will transform your life
你的信心 自我价值
your confidence, your self-worth
并且在此过程中 它会变成一个给每人的恩赐
and in the process it becomes a gift for everyone
你也知道 因为当你转变了自己
you know as well, because when you transform yourself
就能给予更多 爱得更多
you have more to give, more to love
更加仁慈 更能身同感受
more kindness, more empathy
更加慷慨 更多力量给到你生命中的每一人
more generosity, and more power for everyone else in your life.
所以看看吧
So check it out.
点击链接 祝你们度过一个美好的假期
Click the link, and have an incredible time over the holidays.
爱你们
I love you guys.
我们下周见
I’ll see you next week.

发表评论

译制信息
视频概述

三招教你缓解分手后的孤独感

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Amy

审核员

审核员B

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYOABHD1je8

相关推荐