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当你的女儿问起2016这一年

What will you tell your daughters about 2016? | Chinaka Hodge

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【Light up the world】
告诉你的女儿 这一年
Tell your daughters of this year,
每天清晨 我们都得灌下咖啡 才能清醒
how we woke needing coffee
但早报上铺天盖地的死伤新闻
but discovered instead cadavers strewn about our morning papers,
以及随处可见的湿乎乎的寻人启事 远比咖啡提神醒脑
waterlogged facsimiles of our sisters, spouses, small children.
当你的女儿问起2016 她一定会会问起
Say to your baby of this year when she asks, as she certainly should,
告诉她 这一年来得太晚
tell her it was too late coming.
承认这一年 我们继续自由 又继续不自由
Admit even in the year we leased freedom, we didn’t own it outright.
法律一面保护我们的私处
There were still laws for every way we used our privates
一面又抨击我们的软肋
while they pawed at the soft folds of us,
毫不在意我们的感受
grabbed with no concern for consent,
没有任何法律逼着男人去执行
no laws made for the men that enforced them.
我们像是被训练过一样
We were trained to dodge,
去躲避 等待 退缩 伪装
to wait, to cower and cover,
等待 等待 再等待
to wait more, still, wait.
我们被勒令噤声
We were told to be silent.
但是一定告诉你的女儿 这是充满硝烟的一年
But speak to your girls of this wartime,
是我们开始领先的一年
a year preceded by a score of the same,
就像二十年前一样
so as in two decades before,
我们擦干眼泪
we wiped our eyes,
给骨灰盒系上旗子
laced caskets with flags,
疏散酒吧犯罪现场的人群
evacuated the crime scene of the club,
游走在街头 发春尖叫
caterwauled in the street,
躺在水泥地上 离堕落仅有一线之遥
laid our bodies on the concrete against the outlines of our fallen,
哭喊道 我们当然很重要
cried, “Of course we mattered,”
吟唱着我们流逝的过往
chanted for our disappeared.
女人们为2016流过眼泪
The women wept this year.
真的流过
They did.
但也是在这一年里 我们做好了准备
In the same year, we were ready.
这一年里 我们破除禁制 摒弃枷锁
The year we lost our inhibition and moved with courageous abandon
克服困难 勇敢前行
was also the year we stared down barrels,
歌颂曾经东躲西藏 如今重新翱翔的飞鹤
sang of cranes in skies, ducked and parried,
发现希贾布下的宝藏 无惧种种死亡威胁
caught gold in hijab, collected death threats,
我们意识到我们也是爱国者
knew ourselves as patriots,
我们可以说 35岁了 是时候找个伴侣成家了
said, “We’re 35 now, time we settled down and found a running mate,”
给降临的新生命做好规划 除了恐惧别无羞愧
made road maps for infant joy, shamed nothing but fear,
承认我们的丰满是天生的
called ourselves fat and meant, of course,
并且我们完美无缺
impeccable.
这一年 我们是女人
This year, we were women,
不是谁的新娘或是玩意儿
not brides or trinkets,
不是什么弱势的性别
not an off-brand gender,
不是什么特权 只是女人
not a concession, but women.
告诉你们的孩子
Instruct your babies.
告诉她们 作为弱者 服从者的年代已经过去了
Remind them that the year has passed to be docile or small.
有人第一次发声说 我们就是女人
Some of us said for the first time that we were women,
严肃地发誓 永远团结
took this oath of solidarity seriously.
有些人生了孩子 有些人没有
Some of us bore children and some of us did not,
但没人会因此质疑
and none of us questioned whether that made us real
我们是否存在 我们是否真实 我们是否合理
or appropriate or true.
当你的女儿问起这一年
When she asks you of this year,
她也许只是你的后代 也许是你斗争胜利的继承者
your daughter, whether your offspring or heir to your triumph,
也将逐渐成长为一个女人
from her comforted side of history teetering towards woman,
尽管她不知道你做出了多少牺牲
she will wonder and ask voraciously,
却依旧会对你的所作所为充满幻想与尊敬
though she cannot fathom your sacrifice,
她那么好奇
she will hold your estimation of it holy,
不停地发问
curiously probing, “Where were you?
你反抗了吗 你是那个满心恐惧的还是那个让人恐惧的
Did you fight? Were you fearful or fearsome?
你因何内疚
What colored the walls of your regret?
你为女性做出了什么贡献
What did you do for women in the year it was time?
为我铺下这条道路时 你失去了什么
This path you made for me, which bones had to break?
你所做的一切已经足够了吗 妈妈 你还好吗
Did you do enough, and are you OK, momma?
妈妈 你是个英雄吗
And are you a hero?”
她问的问题难以回答
She will ask the difficult questions.
她不在乎你眉毛的弧度
She will not care about the arc of your brow,
不在乎你握住她的力度【???】
the weight of your clutch.
她不会问你曾说起过的种种【???】
She will not ask of your mentions.
你的女儿啊 你已经为她做了这么这么多【???】
Your daughter, for whom you have already carried so much, wants to know
她想知道的是 你是否保留了些许已经消失的种种的痕迹
what you brought, what gift, what light did you keep from extinction?
当他们在夜晚潜入 让更多人遭难
When they came for victims in the night,
你是事不关己地继续睡去 还是站了出来
did you sleep through it or were you roused?
众人皆醉我独醒的代价是什么
What was the cost of staying woke?
在人人都说没有时间了的那一年里 你又用你的力量做了什么
What, in the year we said time’s up, what did you do with your privilege?
你是在他人犯下的罪恶之上苟延残喘吗
Did you sup on others’ squalor?
你是漠然走开 还是毅然扑向斗争的火焰
Did you look away or directly into the flame?
你知道你的能力吗 还是把它当作负累
Did you know your skill or treat it like a liability?
你被“下流”“不足”这样的绰号困扰束缚过吗
Were you fooled by the epithets of “nasty” or “less than”?
你所传达的是开放开明的心 还是暴力紧握的双拳
Did you teach with an open heart or a clenched fist?
当时你在哪里呢
Where were you?
告诉她真相 告诉她你的人生是怎样的
Tell her the truth. Make it your life.
承认啊 跟她说
Confirm it. Say, “Daughter, I stood there
女儿 当时我就在那里
with the moment drawn on my face like a dagger,
生活给我以刀割 我以刀回敬生活
and flung it back at itself,
为你争下这一片天地
slicing space for you.”
告诉她 尽管满世界都是扭曲与怪异 你依旧活了下来
Tell her the truth, how you lived in spite of crooked odds.
告诉她 你曾经那么勇敢
Tell her you were brave,
告诉她 你身边永远永远常伴勇气
and always, always in the company of courage,
尤其是在那些只能依靠自己的日子里
mostly the days when you just had yourself.
告诉她 你们生来就如此相似
Tell her she was born as you were,
就像曾经那场传奇般的斗争中
as your mothers before, and the sisters beside them,
你的母亲 和她的姐妹们那样 如此相似
in the age of legends, like always.
告诉她 她出生的时机那么刚刚好
Tell her she was born just in time,
刚刚好
just in time
能领导这个世界
to lead.

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