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应该感谢那些童年时爱过我们的人 – 译学馆
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应该感谢那些童年时爱过我们的人

What We Owe to Those Who Loved Us in Childhood

如果我们活着且大致无恙
If we’re alive and more or less functioning,
如果我们能从不经意的日常中感到愉悦
if we’re capable of taking joy in things occasionally,
如果我们能友善待人并心存感恩
if we can be kind and grateful to others,
如果我们没有深陷
if we’re not addicted
自我毁灭的漩涡
or very drawn to killing ourselves,
那意味着 在我们早年间 有那么一个人
then it’s likely that someone somewhere, early on,
深爱我们
loved us very much
他们现在或许与我们相隔万里
They may live quite far away from us now,
或许不能与我们兴趣相和
they might share none of our interests
并且相处起来很多方面都略感无趣
and could in many ways be a little boring to spend time with
但我们仍深深地依恋他们
– and yet we will continue to be deeply loyal to them
并且内心深知 我们亏欠他们良多
and know in our hearts that we owe them everything.
当我们说有人爱过我们时
When we say that someone ‘loved’ us,
我们真正表达的其实是
what we’re really referring to
自己习得的一系列技能
is the acquisition of a set of skills.
这些技能并非以正式的方式传授给我们
These were not transferred in any formal way,
而是在日常生活的寻常忙碌中被我们吸收
we imbibed them in the ordinary bustle of daily life.
或许是在厨房中
It might have been in the kitchen,
或许是林中漫步时
on a walk out in the woods
或许是卧室内讲完故事后的夜晚时光
or at night-time in the bedroom after a story.
我们往往容易忽略正在发生的一切
It would have been easy to miss what was really going on,
忽略那些赋予我们生命的甘露
the vital nectar that was being imparted,
我们所获得的所有维持生命的养分
all the life-sustaining goodness we received
那时看起来只是又一次关于作业的谈话
when it looked like it was just another conversation about homework
或者一些周末计划
or the plans for the weekend.
但是在被爱的过程中
But in the course of being loved,
我们也接受了全面的情感教育
we got an encyclopedic emotional education nevertheless,
学会了以下这些:
in which some of the following was learnt:
– 忍耐
– Endurance
有时候 一切看起来都很糟糕
Sometimes, it all looked very bad indeed.
我们陷在自己的情绪中
We were in a state,
嚎啕大哭 或怒气冲天
soaked in tears, or red with fury.
觉得世界分崩离析 自己走投无路
We felt the world was coming apart and that we would not survive.
但他们将悲伤阻挡在外
But they kept the tragedy at bay
直到我们能平复呼吸
until we could breathe calmly once again.
他们或许没有所有问题的答案
They may not have had all the answers,
但他们向我们保证 而且这绝非虚言:
but they promised us – and they were right –
转机终将出现
that a few would eventually emerge.
他们助我们渡过漫漫长夜
They held us through the night and guaranteed
并许诺黎明一定会出现
that there would be a dawn.
自此之后
And ever since then,
远离灾难性的恐惧变得不那么困难
it’s become just a little easier to keep catastrophic dread at bay.
– 自爱
– Self-Love
他们让我们感觉到我们对他们很有价值
They lent us a sense that we were of value to them
因此总有一天我们也会对自己有价值
and therefore could one day be to ourselves as well.
如果我们做出点什么或有什么想法
If we made something or had an idea,
我们可以与他们分享
we could share it with them
尽管它可能还没有最终完成
– and though it wasn’t perhaps entirely accomplished already,
他们也会被我们的潜在目标和许诺吸引
they were guided by our underlying intentions and promise.
当我们走进厨房 即便不是每次
When we entered the kitchen, not every time,
他们常常投来的闪亮目光 足以帮我们
but enough times to form a protective layer over our ego,
建立起保护自我的屏障
they looked up and lit up.
他们或许给我们起过小昵称:
They might have had a name for us:
小冠军 纽扣排 或小甜咩
little champion, button chops or sweet sheep.
从青春期的某时起
At one point in adolescence,
我们一定不再希望那个名字被提及
we certainly didn’t want that name used any more,
并且如果现在它被同事知道了你会感到难堪
and it would be mortifying if colleagues knew it today,
但它仍是我们
but it remains a secret symbol
情感基石上的秘符
of an emotional bedrock,
在这基石上 我们得以构建我们
upon which all our later poise and confidence
日后所有的沉着和自信
was able to emerge.
– 谅解
– Forgiveness
有些时候我们会犯错:
At points, we did something very wrong:
我们忘了带书
we forgot a book,
或者刮坏了桌子
we scratched a table,
我们待人恶劣 或是怒火爆发
we were nasty to someone or exploded in fury.
我们本该招致严厉的惩罚
The punishment could have been very strong,
然而却没有
and yet it wasn’t.
他们为我们开脱 将我们的错误
They came up with reasons that cast our misdeeds
投射到柔光中:
in a generous light:
太疲惫会犯错是人之常情
we were tired, everyone does that sort of thing,
人无完人呐
no one is perfect.
他们教导我们要宽容
They taught us about mercy
无论对人还是对己
towards others and ourselves.
他们让我们懂得 我们并非要做到完美
They let us know that we would not have to be perfect
才值得拥有 才得以生存
to deserve to exist.
– 耐心
– Patience
我们不是立刻就能掌握所学
We didn’t master much immediately.
学会长除法可要费点时间
It took us a while to get long division,
至于学会如何谈钢琴
it was ages till we found our way with the piano
如何烤饼干 那可得有些年头
or learnt to make biscuits.
但他们不会吼你或对你嘲讽发怒
But they didn’t shout or mock or get irritated.
他们教会我们等待的艺术 直至水到渠成
They taught us the art of waiting till the good could emerge.
他们并不要求立刻出结果
They didn’t demand immediate results –
因而使我们得以避免
and so spared us the need to panic
在恐慌和咆哮中度过此生
or bluster our way through life.
– 补救
– Repair
总有一些极其糟糕的时候
There were sometimes some pretty bad scenes.
我们彼此恶言相向
They said nasty things and we did too.
有时我们觉得他们特别讨厌
We felt we hated them a lot sometimes.
但他们不会远离
But they stuck around.
他们承受了怒火
They took the anger
然后教我们如何去修复:
– and thereby taught us about repair:
教我们事情再糟糕也有解决的方法
how things can go very wrong and yet can be fixed,
教我们人的弹性有多强
how resilient people can be,
教我们只要心存爱意就可以重新来过
how many second chances there are when love is involved.
得益于这些教导
With some of these lessons and more,
我们才能长大成人 学会善待自我
we grew up into people who could be kind to ourselves,
容忍自己的缺陷
tolerant of our faults,
同情他人
sympathetic to others
并且能勇往直前
and capable of keeping going.
我们不仅仅是被爱
We weren’t just ‘loved’,
还从中受教良多
we got an education,
每次我们发现
whose presence we can feel
我们能去关怀他人 能去善待自我
every time we can care for someone else,
能够满怀勇气去迎接艰险的明天时
address a kind word to ourselves
都对此深有体会
or feel strong enough to face a difficult tomorrow.
希望你喜欢本期视频
We hope you enjoyed this film.
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视频概述

我们童年时所受到的爱,教会了我们很多东西,让我们得以善待自我,关爱他人,勇敢面对人生。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Alef

审核员

审核员 V

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvB6AWN3m3s

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