The world is sick for a surprisingly modest-sounding reason:
we don’t understand love.
And yet we are rather convinced that we do.
We talk a lot of love of course,
but generally in terms of a dizzying rapture lasting a few months
focused on someone’s beauty, intelligence and strength.
We have high ideals,
and refer with confidence
自己的理念包含公正 平等 权利等因素
to concepts like justice, equality and rights.
And yet somehow in the mix.
We avoid talking of the sort of love
that would give true life to any of these.
We are law-abiding and righteous,
but we are in the grandest sense
in the public square without love.
The most convincing definitions of love in the west have come from Jesus of Nazareth
which has been proved unfortunate.
Given how easy it is for rational types
to confuse an overcoming of supernatural faith
with a neglect of the subject of love.
To move forward,
we require a new philosophy of love.
In effect, a powerful secular religion of love.
This should be read out after the news.
And its tenets taught to CEOs and supply chain managers.
We should put it on T-shirts
and it should be as common and more useful to say
“I’m trying to learn to love”.
As to announce a desire to become fit or famous.
It’s no insult to have to acknowledge that
even though we inhabit a culture soaked in romanticism,
we have problems understanding love.
And even though we’ve had plenty of crushes
and heard plenty of songs about love.
Was still taking our first steps towards grasping what love might actually be?
Here then a seven key constituent ingredients of love.
Love means above anything else benevolence and gentleness
towards what is failed, disgraced, broken, unappealing,
失败 耻辱 破败
angry and foul
无吸引力 生气 污秽等状态
in other people and in ourselves.
Love isn’t about an admirationfor strength,
it’s about directing sympathy in a most unexpected direction
对那些混乱 不知所措 支离破碎的情绪予以共情
at what is messed up, lost and in pieces,
对那些怨恨 遭遇 恐惧的心情予以共情
and at what we might hate, resent and be frightened of.
Anyone can express an interest in perfection.
To love is to devote an active charity towards the mistakes and aberrations.
we will all require the charity of others.
In one way or another, we’ll be on our knees
and we will need people to look
past our evident failings in a tender search
for our deeply hidden merits.
To love with imagination is to look beneath the surface.
Where there may be rage, cynicism,
brittleness or transgression.
And to picture the suffering and pain that got a person to this place.
To love with imagination is to fill in the better reasons
why others are behaving as they are.
Imaginative love knows that we are all somewhere desperate.
It seeks out in our desperation and treats it with sorrowful gentleness.
There are so many fighters for social justice,
so many people determined to make a better world.
They denounce their enemies,
and feel certain of their cause,
但在这个过程中 他们有一个宿命性的习惯 即忘记善良
but along the way, they have a fateful habit of forgetting to be kind.
In their denunciations of the evils of others,
there is precious little mercy, humility,
tenderness or grace.
It is not enough to be right or just,
善良的人要知道所有人 罪人 尤其是罪人
to be kind is to know that everyone, even sinners,
and in a way, especially sinners, deserve ongoing sympathy and mercy.
It is never simply because someone is wrong
that we have any right to cease showing them the greatest kindness.
To forgive is to know that we are
in our own way, as guilty as the next person.
Given what we all are,
we have no option but to cut each other some slack.
当然了 我们会失败 草率 不再那么令人倾慕
Of course we have failed and been hasty and less than admirable.
But that is no reason forever to withhold love.
We learn to forgive when we are no longer self-righteous,
也就是说 我们很勇敢 足以看清自己内心的阴暗面
that is, when we’re brave enough to fathom the darker sections of our own hearts.
To love means being loyal to people.
This could be ourselves, even though the crowd no longer agrees.
Outside the mob may be jeering,
but we continue on the same side,
with steadfastness and an unbudgeable resilient faith.
It isn’t about loving just one person,
it encompasses the love of someone you have just met,
of strangers in another land,
对泥土 植物 象鼻虫 家里的蝙蝠都可以萌发喜爱之情
of the earth, of plants, weevils, house bats
and that moth by the window who might be dead by nightfall.
We want others to meet our hopes right now.
But true love means giving people the time to mature and develop
to go wrong, to wander in another direction,
and not to shout at them
but to give them every chance to grow at their own pace,
towards their better selves.
If we can believe wholeheartedly in some of the above,
it won’t matter who we vote for or what our cause is,
we can count as part of what is helping.
We should be almost done with romantic love by now.
We should be setting our sights on the challenge of this sort of love.
Yet it’s not surprising
if we’re still only at the beginning,
we’re just starting on the path to being human.
Love is a skill that we can learn.
Our Relationships book calmly guides us
with calm and charm through the key issues of relationships
to ensure that success in love
need not be a matter of good luck.
For more click the link now.