好吧 你的降落伞坏了
Okay, so your parachute just failed.
镇定！镇定！镇定！
CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN
按我说的来做
Do exactly what I say.
凡事总是意外 你得接受这个事实
And just accept the fact that there are no guarantees in life.
特别是现在这种时候
Exepcially right now…
因为你的存活率只有0.01%
Because you have like statistically about a 0.01 percent chance of surviving.
但无论如何 保持镇定！
But again CALM DOWN
现在可不是恐慌的时候
Now’s not the time to panic.
你现在应该集中精神！
Now is the time to focus.
集中精神！
因为你刚从12500英尺高的飞机上跳下来
Because if you just jumped out of the plane from the standard twelve and a half thousand feet,
你只有74.25秒的时间
you’ve only got about 74 and 1/4 seconds
想出提高存活率的办法
to figure out a way to increase your chances of survival.
先从最重要的开始
First things first
减慢下降的速度
Slow your descent
像这样 张开身体变成X形
Spread out your body into an X formation like this
保持身体越平越好
get as flight as humanly possible
然后让身体正面朝向地面
making sure that the front of your body is facing the ground
这有助于增大空气阻力
This will help you achieve better drag
你认不清哪里才是地面？
you’re confused about which direction the ground is
就是你猛冲过去的那边！
It’s where you heading toward
下件事：试着打开备用伞
Next things next Try your Backup chute
首先 拉开主降落伞的分离手柄
To begin, pull and release the breakaway handle to your primary chute
通常是身体左边那个钟环一样的东西
its most likely attached on your right looks like a clock loop.
没错 就是这个
Yeah, that’s the one
就是你降落伞包上这个
The one on your parachute pack use
两只手拉它
two hands and pull it.
现在就拉开
Pull it now
主降落伞已经脱离了 很好
First chute’s off. That’s good.
不过你现在大概正在不受控制地旋转下落
But now you’re probably spinning uncontrollably.
这可不太好
让身体回到X形
Get back into the X formation
找到身体左侧的备用伞拉环 拉下它
then locate and pull the reserve ripcord on your left.
它就在你刚拉下那个环形物的另一边 拉下它
It’s opposite the loop. You just pulled.
通常是红色的
It’s probably colored red.
那就是你的备用降落伞
That’s your backup chute.
好了吗？拉下来！
呃……好吧……什么也没发生？
好吧 计划C
抬起头 仔细扫视地面环境
Keep your head upwards and startscanning your surroundings.
你要找的是这三样东西：
You’re looking for three things.
沼泽 雪地 树木
Swamp, snow, trees.
降落在这三个地方之一就可以提高你生存的机率
your best chance of surviving is to land in one of those three.
离水域远点
Just away from water.
无论如何
别降落在水上！
向你要去的方位侧身
Lean whichever direction you want to move in,
但不要翻转身体
but don’t go into a spin
待到合适的时机
把身体扬起来 让脚趾对着地面方向
when the moments right pull yourself up and point your toes to the ground
这样你就可以用脚着陆了
so that you land on your feet.
我本来不想这么说
但你或许该知道 你马上就要把腿摔断了
这不要紧的
这样可以利用腿部把下落的冲击缓冲掉
We’re gonna use them to absorb the impact of the fall.
事先说好 这样超级痛
所以做出仰卧起坐的姿势 用手护住头部
So cover the back of your head with your hands like you’re doing a sit-up.
你需要把头颈部保护好
You need to protect your skull and protect your neck.
像翻跟头一样往前滚
Go into the fall rolling forward like you’re doing a somersault.
准备好了吗？
豁出去了
Here goes nothing!
呃……你还好吗？
you still there
很好 不错 非常棒！
我懂 我懂 我都懂！
好消息：你活下来了！
恭喜你！
congratulations!!!
坏消息是：你现在惊恐发作了
不过 这样有助于缓解你的疼痛
所以 你懂 就是这样
我想说 这就是神奇的“神经性休克”了
I mean, that’s the weird thing about”Neurogenic Shock”, y’know.
这是副交感神经系统过度反应引发的症状
It’s caused by over exciting the parasympathetic nervous system.
随后你将体会到所谓的“心跳过缓”
What you’re about to experience is actually called”Bradycardia”.
本质上 就是说你的心跳会降得很慢
Which is a substantial decrease in your heart rate.
这会减慢你的脉搏
从而让你的血压降到危险水平
And that will lead to a dangerous drop in blood pressure.
所以你懂吧 你现在可能会感到非常非常困
So y’know, you’re probably feeling very, very, very, sleepy right now.
但千万别睡过去
But do not go to sleep.
保持清醒！
无论如何 保持清醒！
救援就在赶来的路上
Help is on the way,
他们到这的时候你必须是清醒的！
and you need to be wake when they get here!
#你会没事的#
You’re gonna be okaaaayyy!!!!
你知道吗 刚才你遇到的事情
That there was only 0.0007 percent chance
在现实生活中只有0.0007%的可能性
that what just happened to you would actually happen.
你要这样想
consider this
你刚经历了前无古人 后无来者的事情呢！
you’ve just experienced something that almost nobody in existence has ever or will ever experience.
想想未来你靠出书赚来的那一大笔钱
Think of all the money you’ll make off the book deal that you’ll invariably sign.
想想你要给子孙讲的人生经历
You’ll have a story for your grand kids,
你会参加《今日秀》 还会见到阿尔·罗克
you’ll be on The Today Show, and you’ll get to meet Al Roker.
想想见到阿尔·罗克你会有多开心
Summon the will to live by thinking about
你一定要集中精神活下来！
how happy you’ll be when you get to meet Al Roker.
过不了几年《危机边缘》里
You probably have your own daily double question
就会出现有关你的分数翻番题了
in jeopardy in a few years
会有人把你的经历拍成大片
They’ll make a dramatic movie about you
会有明星来出演你这个角色
where some famous actor or actress will play you.
在奥斯卡颁奖典礼上你可能就和明星们坐在一起
You’ll probably even get to sit next to them at the Oscars
毕竟我们都知道
because let’s face it.
美国电影艺术与科学学院就喜欢这样的故事
This is the kind of story that the Academy absolutely fawns over.
你用的这家降落伞公司
The parachute company that you just used.
他们可能要赔给你一大笔钱
they’ll probably pay you a large sum of money
以免被你告上法庭
to keep you from y’know, suing them.
你会被建成一条维基百科
You’ll get your own personal entry on this Wikipedia page.
所有和你共进晚餐的人讲的惊险故事都比不过你
You’ll forever be able to one-up any exciting story told by anyone you ever go out to dinner with.
“噢 你去科罗拉多背包探险了？”
“Oh, you went backpacking in Colorado!
“我有没有跟你讲过
Did I ever told you about the time
我从12500英尺掉下来但没死的故事？”
that I survived falling from 12,500 feet.”
假设你的胳膊还能用
世界职业棒球大赛可能邀请你去开球
they might even ask you to throw out the first pitch at the World Series.
我也说不准
I don’t know.
但最重要的是 你可以告诉你见过的每个人
that a YouTube video was the critical factor that…
是YouTube上的一个视频救了你的命
所以要是某天下午有人发推说
So y’know, if somebody else happens to tweet some afternoon
他们也从天上掉下来了
that they too are falling from the sky.
你可以把这个视频发给他们
You can send them a link to this video,
让他们沾沾你的运气
and pass your good fortune on.
这就是互联网的神奇之处啊！
既然说到这里
and on that note,
在你正努力保持清醒 等着救护车的这会
while you’re waiting for the ambulance and trying to y’ know… stay conscious.
真心推荐你看看我们其他的视频
Consider watching these other cool videos from yours truly,
记得订阅我的频道
and subscribing to my channel.
除非你正忙着……呼救或者什么的
Unless you… like y’know…. want to call for help or something.
不用管我 忙你的吧！