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是什么让人充满吸引力? – 译学馆
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是什么让人充满吸引力?

What Makes a Person Attractive?

Understandably enough, our societies pay vast attention to the idea of ‘sexiness’.
可以理解我们社会对“性感”概念的广泛关注
Far more questionably, they tempt us to believe
但令人不解的是 他们引导我们相信
that it might be easy to understand what this quality consists of.
理解“性感”的内涵是很简单的事情
The leading suggestion takes it starting point from the biological sciences.
最主流的观点是从生物科学的角度出发

We learn that sex aims at successful reproduction
提出“性”的目的在于成功的繁殖
and genetic fitness in the coming generation.
以及下一代的基因适应度
Therefore ‘sexiness’ must logically comprise
因此 “性感”的内涵理应包括
a host of semi-conscious signals of fertility and of resistance to disease,
一系列关于生育和抗病能力的半意识信号
bilateral facial symmetry, large bright pupils,
例如对称的脸颊 大而明亮的瞳孔
full lips, youthful skin and melanin-rich hair.
丰满的嘴唇 光滑的肌肤 乌黑的秀发等
But this analysis too quickly assumes
但上述分析草率地假设
that it might be simple to know what sex really aims at.
要理解“性”的真正目的是很容易的
Unlike most other living beings,
然而 不同于其他大部分生物
our biological drives sit alongside,
人类的生物本能
and appoints take second place to a range of emotional priorities.
和繁衍使命的优先性 次于一系列情感需求
Chief among these is the desire
其中最重要的情感需求是
to overcome loneliness and share our vulnerability
在彼此亲密又有安全感的怀抱里
within the arms of a safe and intimate other.
不再感到孤独 敢于展现弱点
We seek, through a physical act,
我们希望 通过一个身体动作
to overcome our customary psychological alienation
来消除我们习以为常的心理疏离感
and a host of painful barriers
以及许多令人痛苦的隔阂
to being known and accepted.
从而能够被人理解和接纳
Viewed through such a lens,
从这个角度看
the erotic is not so much a promise of reproductive health
性与其说是生殖健康的保证
as a suggestion of redemptive capacity for closeness, connection, understanding
不如说是亲密 联系与理解的救赎之力
and an end to shame and isolation.
以及羞耻和孤立的终结点
It is this emotional mission that
也正是这种情感使命
explains the conundrum sometimes generated by people whom one would expect,
解释了一个人们有时会感到困惑的问题
by all standard biological criteria,
即 用所有生物学标准衡量
to possess an exemplary sexual aura
都十分性感的一个人
but who manage to leave us cold.
却对我们没有任何吸引力
just as it may shed light on the associated puzzle
这或许也能够解释一个相关的谜题
of those physically more challenged candidates
即 为什么那些身体有缺陷的人
who nevertheless lay claim to a rare power
却拥有一种
far outstripping the quality of their hair or the lustre of their eyes.
远远超越发质或眼神的罕见力量
The people whom we call sexy, despite,
这些被我们称作性感的人
or aside from the raw facts of their appearance
即使本来长得确实不好看
are those whose features and manner suggest unusual ablity
却能通过表情和举止表现他们不同寻常的
to fulfill the underlying emotional purpose of love-making.
能够满足性行为这种潜在情感目的的能力
The way they respond to a joke,
他们回应笑话的方式
the curve of an eyebrow,
眉毛弯曲的弧度
the characteristic motion of their forehead,
额头上特有的纹路
the way of holding our hands,
以及牵手的方式
convey in an unconsciously understood but hugely eloquent language
用一种潜移默化却又极其生动的语言告诉我们
that one is in the presence of a kindly being
这个人看着还挺温柔的
who is liable to understand our broken and confused aspects,
他容易理解我们的悲伤和困惑
to help us over our loneliness and submerged sadness
能够让我们不再陷入孤独和无尽的痛苦
and reassure us of our basic legitimacy and worth.
保证我们的基本正当性和基本价值
Someone with whom
和这个人在一起
we can at last reduce our normal suspicions, cast aside our armour
我们至少可以减少猜疑 卸下盔甲
and feel safe, playful and accepted.
有安全感 感到快乐 以及被他人接纳
Whatever the quality of their skin or balance of their proportions,
不论他们肤质如何 身材是否匀称
it is these aspects that have a true power to excite us.
那些情感才是真正能打动我们的力量
In a melancholy and avoidant world,
在一个充满忧郁和逃避的世界里
this is the real turn on.
这才是真正的吸引力
We hear so much about what we might need to do to increase our physical appeal.
我们听到很多关于提高外貌吸引力的做法
But by getting more detailed about the psychological traits that drive desire,
但在更深入地了解驱使欲望的心理特征后
we could learn to pay as much,
即使不过分关注
if not more attention, to the foundations of an exciting mindset.
也要尽可能重视那些能够提高内在吸引力的基础
Armed with a broader understanding of the aims of sexuality,
在对性的目的有了更广泛的了解后
some of the following might also, henceforth, deserve to be counted
今后 下面提到的这些也可以被视为
as valuable sources of sexiness.
性感的重要来源
A sense of being slightly at odds with mainstream society
稍微偏离主流社会的看法
Whether at work, with friends or around family,
无论是在工作中 还是和朋友家人在一起
we are too often hemmed in by exhausting requirements
为了适应并认同那些所谓
to fit in and subscribe to dominant notions
好的 可以接受的的主流观念
of what it means to be good and acceptable.
我们总被各种要求搞得筋疲力竭
Requirements which nevertheless leave behind or censor,
即便那是落后的 也要接受审查
a lot of our internal reality,
结果 很多我们内心真实的想法
there ends up being a lot we mustn’t say
基本不能说出来
and even more we shouldn’t even really feel.
甚至不应该有那种想法
What a relief then to note
庆幸的是 接下来我们注意到
(perhaps via a wry twitch in another’s upper lip)
(也许只是通过嘴角的一丝嘲讽)
that we are in the presence of someone
我们面对着一个
who knows how to adopt a gently sceptical perspective on prevailing assumptions
知道如何对主流思潮持怀疑看法的人
someone with whom we would be able to break away and express
和这样的人在一起 我们可以摆脱束缚
doubts about revered ideas or people
提出对权威人物和观念的质疑
and cast a cathartically sceptical gaze on the normal rules of life.
并肆意地对陈规旧俗投以怀疑的目光
Good sex promises to feel like something of a conspiracy
因此美好的性爱会让人感觉像是
against everybody else.
一场与全世界为敌的共谋
An unshockable nature
难移的本性
The more we are honest with, and exploratory about ourselves,
我们对自己越坦诚 对自身挖掘得越深入
the more we realize that there is much inside our characters
就越能认识到我们的性格里有很多东西
that might surprise or horrify outsiders,
可能会让外人感到惊讶或恐惧
that we possess alarming degrees of vulnerability,
即 我们其实极度脆弱
meanness, strangeness, waywardness and folly.
卑鄙 奇怪 任性和愚蠢
Our standard response may be shame and embarrassment
面对这些 我们的正常反应可能是羞耻和尴尬
and yet we quietly hunger to be properly witnessed and accepted as we really are.
然而 我们又非常渴望真实的自己真正被了解与接受
What may prove supremely sexy therefore are suggestions
因此 最性感的事情可能是
that another person has explored their own deeper selves with courage
一个勇敢挖掘过更深层次自我的人
has a handle on their darkness,
他能应对自己的阴暗面
and may on this basis be capable of extending an uncensorious perspective on our own.
也能用宽容的眼光看待我们
A tension between ‘good’ and ‘bad’.
好与坏的张力
Someone who paid no attention whatsoever to decency and scoffed at all propriety
一个对正派毫不在意 对礼节嗤之以鼻的人
might be merely alarming.
可能只会扰乱人心
Yet what can prove uniquely appealing is
然而具有独特吸引力的人
a person alive both to duty and temptation,
既能活在责任和诱惑中
to the pull of maturity and the draw,
又能活在成熟和幼稚中
at least for a little while in the early hours, of wickedness.
至少在早期的一段时间内是如此顽皮
A divided person simultaneously responsible
一个人的性格有多面 在具有责任感的同时
and marked by a touch of desperation.
又有一点不顾一切的迹象
Vigour & Impatience
活力与急躁
In addition might come a potential for aggression and anger
在日常生活中保持理智的人
that they managed to keep very sanely under control in daily life,
也有可能会产生攻击性和愤怒情绪
but that they knew how to release at points in private.
但他们懂得如何私下释放压力
Someone whose capacity for a little cruelty was all the more moving
一个有点暴躁的人或许会更加打动人
because it stood out against a customary habit of extreme consideration and gentleness.
因为暴躁与通常的体贴温柔有很大反差
Kindness
善良
A lot of our reality deserves compassion and sympathy.
现实中很多事都值得怜悯和同情
How compelling therefore, to come across someone
因此 遇到一个这样的人
whose features would belie a willingness
是多么无法抗拒
to extend charity towards a lot that is less than perfect in human nature,
他能宽容对待人性的不完美
someone who could know how much we stand in need of forgiveness
也知道我们有多需要宽容
and who could laugh generously with and at us
他和我们一起放声大笑
because they knew how to do the same in relation to themselves.
嘲笑我们 也知道如何自嘲
We have allowed our concern for sexiness
我们让自己对性的认知
to be coarsened by physical obsession
停留在肤浅的肉体吸引的表面
because we are under the sway of an overly simplistic biological sense
是因为我们受到了一种简单的生物学意义的影响
of what sex is aiming at.
即 性的目的是什么
Yet by recovering contact with some of
但是通过与一些
what we emotionally crave from another person,
满足我们情感需求的人的重新接触
we can happily but not merely conveniently rediscover
我们可以再次欣喜地发现
that the real turn on is never just a well-polished body but,
真正的吸引力从来都不仅仅来自完美的身体
always and primordially, a well-fashioned soul.
而永远并且一直都来自 一个有趣的灵魂
Great dates are made up of great conversations.
精彩的交流造就精彩的相会
Our dating cards are designed to spark insightful and playful encounters.
我们的约会卡旨在激发深刻有趣的邂逅
Click the link on screen now to find out more.
点击屏幕上的链接了解更多内容吧

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视频概述

你认为吸引力的来源是什么呢?你身边是否有这样的人,他或她其貌不扬,却散发出强烈的吸引力?看完这个视频,你或许会得到答案。

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翻译译者

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLme6kE5XaU

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