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什么是爱?

What is love?

I love a lot of things.
我爱很多东西
Some people love sunshine and rainbows.
有人爱阳光与彩虹
Some love the warmth of summer and the chill of winter.
有人爱夏日的温暖与冬日的清冷
Others love the smell of hot coffee in the morning,
有人爱那早上热咖啡的香气
and the coziness of their bed at night.
和晚上躺在床上的惬意时光
Some love to travel and go on crazy adventures.
有人爱旅游和疯狂的冒险
According to the dictionary, love is a mix of emotions, behaviors, and beliefs
据字典所述 爱是情感 行为和信念的集合体
associated with strong feelings of affection,
伴随着对一个人 一件事
protectiveness, warmth, and respect for a person,
甚至是一个想法有着强烈的
or a thing, or even an idea.
喜爱 保护欲 温暖和尊重
But can we really define love?
但是我们真的能定义爱吗?
How do we explain a word that you can use to describe
我们如何解释一个可以用来描述
what you feel for everything from people to cars, to intangible ideas?
你对人 车 以及无形的想法的感觉的词呢?
To fully understand what love is, we have to look at the ancient Greeks.
要完全理解什么是爱 我们得看看古希腊人
Instead of one all-encompassing word,
与用一个笼统的词不同
the ancient Greeks used seven different words
古希腊人用了七个不同的词
to explain love in its many different forms.
以不同的形式来解释爱
Eros, which means passionate love,
爱情 即激情之爱
is the most common type of love we see in our world today.
是当今世界上最常见的一种爱
It’s fueled by a desire for pleasure.
它来自于对快乐的渴求
It’s love at first sight,
它是一见钟情
seeing someone’s physical appearance
看到一个人的模样
and immediately getting attracted to them,
就立即为之倾倒
even without knowing their first name.
即使不知他们姓甚名谁
Most romantic relationships start like this.
大多数浪漫关系都是这样开始的
It’s passionate,
激情四射
it can even be a bit obsessive.
甚至可能有些痴迷
But love like this is confusing.
但这样的爱让人困惑
It’s the age-old question of ”love vs. lust.”
这是关于“爱与欲望”的古老问题
Both lust and eros come with intense physical attraction
欲望和爱情都伴随着对人 甚至刚认识的人
and a strong desire to be close to the person,
有着强烈的身体吸引力
even if you just met them.
以及与之亲近的欲望
Some people like to differentiate them by the length of time they stay around.
有人喜欢根据它们持续的时长来进行区分
If it was a fleeting emotion, it was lust,
如果这种情感转瞬即逝 那它就是欲望
but then if it lingered around like the best man at a wedding,
但是如果它像婚礼上的伴郎一样徘徊不去
then it was definitely love.
那它绝对是爱
But is that really true?
但真的是这样吗?
And if it is,
如果是这样
then is love simply lust that has stayed around for long enough?
那么爱情只是持续够久的欲望吗?
If lust simply becomes love,
如果欲望真的能变成爱
how long does it take for the switch to happen?
这种转变需要多长时间?
At what point does lust become love?
欲望在什么时候变成爱?
It’s a complex question,
这是一个复杂的问题
and you don’t normally give it much thought,
你通常不会想太多
so I’ll do it for you.
所以由我来做这件事
According to science and human biology,
根据科学和人类生物学可知
there are three stages to falling in love,
坠入爱河有三个阶段
and it all starts with stage one – lust.
并且都从第一阶段的欲望开始
It’s driven by testosterone for men and estrogen in women.
欲望由男性的睾酮和女性的雌激素引起
So when does lust become love?
那么欲望什么时候变成爱呢?
Well, that’s stage two.
这就到了第二阶段
When we start feeling a sense of a”high”
当看到他们 与他们交谈
when we see them or speak to them or even just think about them.
甚至只是想到他们时 我们就开始“上头”
A “high” similar to the feeling you’d get from drugs or alcohol.
“上头”类似于你通过毒品或酒精获得的感觉
When we start to feel a sense of euphoria when we’re around them.
在他们身边时 我们开始感到欣喜若狂
When testosterone and estrogen are replaced by dopamine,
当睾酮和雌激素被多巴胺取代时
making us happy and excited,
我们会感到开心和兴奋
adrenaline triggering our fight or flight,
肾上腺素引起我们“战或逃”的反应
and norepinephrine keeping us alert.
去甲肾上腺素让我们保持警觉
This is why falling in love feels like an addictive rush.
这就是为什么坠入爱河像是一种令人上瘾的冲动
Like you’re driving at 120 miles per hour with no brakes in your car.
就像是以120英里的时速驾驶而不踩刹车
Your palms are sweaty,
你手心出汗
your knees are weak,
膝盖发软
and your arms are heavy,
手臂沉重
your heart is racing.
心跳加速
Love is this feeling.
爱就是这种感觉
PHILIA
友爱
Sometimes love doesn’t start with lust,
有时候爱并不始于欲望
it starts with friendship.
而是始于友谊
Knowing someone well enough
对一个人足够了解
that you can predict their reaction to every situation.
你就可以预测他们对不同情况的反应
Love is intimacy.
爱是亲密
It’s authentic, it’s kind, it’s warm, it’s encouraging.
它真实 友善 温暖 鼓舞人心
Love is a best friend you’ve known since you were a child.
爱是你从小就认识的最好的朋友
It’s always wanting the best for the other person, selfless, goodwill.
爱是总想把最好的给对方 是无私 是善意
In today’s world, philia is dying.
在当今世界 友情正在消亡
We have millions of followers and subscribers,
我们有数百万的关注者和订阅者
but very few friends.
但朋友却很少
We have a multitude of people seeing the perfect view of our lives,
我们让很多人看到了我们生活中完美的一面
everything we want them to see,
以及我们想让他们看到的一切
but no one who’s welcome to see what’s behind the curtains.
却不喜欢别人看到幕后不完美的一面
Philia is a sense of camaraderie.
友爱是一种情谊
It’s calling someone brother or sister,
你可以与某人亲如手足
even when they are not related to you by blood.
即使他们和你没有血缘关系
Love is loyalty, sacrifice, and vulnerability.
爱是忠诚 牺牲和脆弱
Love is a choice.
爱是一种选择
LUDUS
游戏之爱
Love is not always serious,
爱情并不总是严肃的
love is not always permanent.
也并不总是永恒的
And when it’s fleeting,
而转瞬即逝的爱
love is not always lust.
并不总是欲望
Ludus describes a love that is built on infatuation, flirtation, and fun.
游戏之爱描述了一种建立在迷恋 调情和乐趣之上的爱情
Sometimes love is simply having a crush on someone and acting on it.
有时爱只是迷恋某人并为此付诸行动
It’s going out for drinks with a friend
爱是和朋友出去喝酒
and acting like a romantic couple for the night only.
并只在当晚表现得像一对浪漫的情侣
It’s random kids pushing each other on the swings in the playground,
爱是孩子们在游乐场的旋转秋千上互相推搡
basking in that joy that their friends are having alongside them.
享受与朋友们在一起的快乐
It’s going to the club and dancing with strangers,
爱是去俱乐部和陌生人跳舞
or singing karaoke in a room full of people you’ve just met.
或者在一个满是你刚认识的人的房间里唱卡拉OK
Sometimes love is casual, exciting, fun.
有时爱情是随意的 令人兴奋的 有趣的
It doesn’t need any obligations or implications to be love.
爱无需任何义务或暗示
Love doesn’t need physical attraction to be love.
爱不需要身体上的吸引力
Love doesn’t even need friendship to be love.
爱甚至不需要成为朋友
Love simply is.
爱就是爱
STORGE
温馨之爱
We often say that love involves commitment, time,
常言道 爱包含彼此的承诺 倾注的时间
mutual trust, and acceptance between two people.
相互信任以及接纳
But is that really the case?
但事实真的如此吗?
Because none of this exists between a mother and her child,
因为以上这些并不存在于母子关系中
but love does.
但他们之间却有爱
The truth is that sometimes we can love someone
事实是 有时即使我们不喜欢某人
even when we don’t like them.
我们也可以爱他们
If you have any siblings,
如果你有兄弟姐妹
I’m sure you’ll understand this concept a lot.
我相信你会非常理解这个观点
The Greeks called it Storge: unconditional, familial love.
希腊人称之为温馨之爱:无条件的家庭之爱
The kind of kinship love that only exists between family members,
它是只存在于家人之间的亲情
and of course, family does not mean you have to be tied by blood.
当然 家庭并不意味着必须有血缘关系
Lifelong friends who become family,
一生的朋友 收养的孩子 继父母
adopted children, step-parents,
都可以成为家人
when we consider someone our family,
当我们视某个人为家人时
we often develop a need to protect them,
我们总会想要保护他们
even when they might not be the nicest people to hang around with.
即使他们可能不是与我们相处最好的人
Storge is a strange type of love.
温馨之爱是一种奇怪的爱
Most times when we love someone,
很多时候 当我们爱一个人时
we are drawn closer to them,
我们会离他们越来越近
we want to spend all our free time with them,
想和他们一起度过所有的空闲时间
go on adventures with them, laugh, smile, cry,
和他们一起去冒险 一起笑 一起哭
do everything with them.
和他们一起做所有事情
But sometimes love is wanting to go home,
但有时爱是想要回家
even when you might not talk to the people there very much.
即使你可能不怎么和家里的人聊天
It’s simply a sense of security, like a weighted blanket.
爱只是一种安全感 就像一张厚重的毯子
This love is being able to give someone a kidney without hesitation,
这种爱就是你可以毫不犹豫地给人一个肾
but not your phone’s charger.
却不愿给他手机充电器
Even when in truth,
即便事实上
only one of those is easily replaceable.
只有充电器才能轻松更换
And this strange feeling is not only towards people,
而且这种奇怪的感情不只存在于人与人之间
it’s the same for sports teams and fans.
球迷对球队也是如此
Every year you cheer for your team,
每年你都为你的球队加油
every year they break your heart,
每年他们都让你心碎
yet the very next year you glue back the millions of pieces
然而来年你仍把数百万块碎片用胶水粘好
and wear the badge with pride chanting “this year will be our year!”
佩戴徽章 自豪高呼“今年胜利将属于我们!”
Because love is unconditional.
因为爱是无条件的
It’s not dependent on who the person is or what they can give to you.
它并不取决于这个人是谁或他们可以给你什么
Love is a one-way ticket.
爱是一张单程车票
It’s loving someone
它是爱一个
even when they might not have the ability to love you back.
甚至可能无法回应你的人
PHILAUTIA
自爱
Aristotle once said
亚里士多德曾说
“all friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.”
“所有对他人的友好感情都是对自己感情的延伸”
If you don’t love yourself,
如果你不能爱自己
you can never truly love others.
那么你就永远无法真正地爱别人
This is why philautia.
这就是要自爱的原因
The love of one’s self,
我们不应该将自爱
is something we shouldn’t take for granted.
视作理所当然
Love is not just what you can do for others,
爱不只是你能为别人做什么
it’s also what you can do for you.
也是你可以为自己做什么
So go out and give yourself a treat once in a while.
所以 偶尔出去款待自己吧
You don’t have to have achieved anything
在为自己庆祝之前
or crossed any milestone before you celebrate yourself.
你不必取得任何成就或跨越任何里程碑
Just like others don’t necessarily have to do anything before you love them,
就像其他人在你爱他们之前什么都不用做一样
you don’t either.
你也什么都不用做
Love is when you stop comparing yourself to others,
爱是你不再将自己与他人相比
when you forgive yourself for your past mistakes
你开始原谅自己过去的错误
and stop judging yourself for things that are beyond your control.
不再用无法掌控的事情评判自己
Love is when you wake up in the morning,
爱是你早上醒来时
look in the mirror
照照镜子
and be proud of the person staring right back at you.
并为盯着你的那个人感到自豪
Love is leaving toxic relationships
爱是离开不良的关系
and not feeling obligated to stay
也不认为有留下来的义务
no matter who they are
不论他们是谁
or how important they’ve been to you in the past.
也不论他们过去对你来说有多重要
It’s choosing yourself over and over again
爱是一次又一次地选择自己
and protecting yourself the way you would protect anyone else.
并像保护其他人一样保护自己
Love is being kind to yourself.
爱就是善待自己
In your thoughts, in your words,
不论是在思想里 言语里
and in your actions.
还是在行动里
Because only when we truly love ourselves
因为只有当我们真正爱自己
can we be able to love others.
我们才能爱别人
PRAGMA
现实之爱
Love lasts for a lifetime.
爱持续一生
Love is to have and to hold,
爱是去拥有并维持
for better or worse, for richer, for poorer,
无论顺境或逆境 贫穷或富裕
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,
疾病或健康 彼此相爱且珍惜
till death do you part.
直到死亡将你们分开
Love is committed and compassionate.
爱是承诺和有同情心
It is accepting each other’s differences and learning to compromise.
它是接受彼此的差异并学会妥协
Love is taking all the broken pieces and putting them together again,
爱是把所有的碎片重新粘合起来
instead of throwing them all out.
而不是把它们全部扔掉
Love is everlasting,
爱是永恒的
rooted in romantic feelings and compassion.
它植根于浪漫和同情
So is love a feeling or a choice?
那么爱是一种感觉还是一种选择?
If love is a choice,
如果爱是一种选择
why do we never know we’re falling in love with someone until we are?
为什么总是直到爱上某人后我们才知道?
Why can’t we ever say to ourselves,
为什么我们不能对自己说
“I want to fall in love with this person,” and just do it?
“我想爱上这个人” 然后就去爱?
On the other hand,
另一方面
if love is a feeling,
如果爱是一种感觉
then there is no basis for wedding vows.
那么结婚誓言就不可靠
There is no basis for the promise that we’ll love each other forever.
我们永远相爱的承诺是不可靠的
Because feelings come and go,
因为感觉来了又去
and usually they are beyond our control.
通常不受控制
The only way we can judge that love will remain forever
我们判断爱会永远存在的唯一方法是
is when we decide that it will.
当我们决定永远去爱时 它就会永远存在
Is love a feeling or a choice?
爱是一种感觉还是一种选择?
Well, it’s both.
两者兼有
Falling in love is a feeling,
坠入爱河是一种感觉
but staying in love is a decision.
但相爱是一个决定
It’s telling them you love them even on the worst days.
爱是告诉对方 即使身处逆境 爱也不会消亡
It’s saying to them,
爱是对他们说
“I don’t know how we’ll get through this except that it’ll be together.”
“如果不和你在一起 我这一生不知将如何度过”
Love is being vulnerable even when we don’t feel like it.
爱是变得敏感 即使我们不喜欢这样
Love is holding the roses without being scared of getting pricked by its thongs.
爱是捧着玫瑰而不怕被它的刺扎伤
Love is an amazing feeling in the beginning.
爱一开始是一种奇妙的感觉
But for love to last a lifetime,
但想要让爱持续一生
it has to evolve into a commitment
它就必须演变成一种承诺
of never letting this person go for as long as they let you.
即 只要对方不让你离开 你就永远不会放手
AGAPE
神圣之爱
Love is giving to charity and helping strangers in need.
爱是做慈善 帮助有需要的陌生人
Love is empathy towards humanity.
爱是对人类的同情
It’s fighting for change
爱是为改变而战
even when you might not be directly affected by the issues.
即使你可能不受这些事情的直接影响
Love is altruistic,
爱是无私的
selflessly caring for humans, animals,
无私地照顾人类 动物
and even Mother Earth itself.
甚至地球母亲本身
Love doesn’t expect anything in return for its actions.
爱不期望自己的行为得到任何回报
Love itself is the reward.
爱本身就是回报
Love serves as the foundation for societies and communities,
爱是社会和社区的基础
without which we cannot thrive.
没有爱我们就无法茁壮成长
Scientists have always battled with the concept of love.
科学家们常因爱的概念而争执
Some believe that love is a basic human emotion
有些人认为爱是人类的一种基本情感
like anger or sadness or joy.
与愤怒 悲伤 喜悦类似
However, some others believe that
而其他人认为
love is simply a cultural phenomenon,
爱只是一种文化现象
something we are drawn towards as a result
是我们因社会期望和压力
of societal expectations and pressures.
而产生的东西
But nothing could be farther from the truth.
但这与事实极其不符
If love is simply a cultural phenomenon,
如果爱只是一种文化现象
it wouldn’t exist in all cultures of the world.
它就不会存在于世上所有的文化中
And the fact that it does suggests that
事实是所有文化中都有爱
in truth, there is something innate about love,
这表明爱是与生俱来的
something biological about its experience.
它的体验具有生物学意义
If love is fundamental to the human experience,
如果爱是人类体验的基础
then we must ask,
那么我们必须问
what is the point of love?
爱的意义何在?
Why do we love?
我们为什么要爱?
Is it for parents to be able to bear with their kids
爱是为了在孩子们成熟之前
long enough for them to attain maturity?
父母能够足够长久地忍耐吗?
Or perhaps it’s for mates to remain together
或者爱是为了使配偶
for as long as is necessary
能在一起足够长的时间
to raise the next generation of humans?
来养育下一代?
Does love exist to create a sense of community and camaraderie
爱是为了创造对像我们这种群体存在来说
that is necessary for a herd community like ours to exist?
所必需的集体感和友情而存在的吗?
We might never know why love exists
我们可能永远不知道爱为何存在
or what ultimate purpose it serves,
或者它的最终目的是什么
but what we do know is how important it is.
但我们的确知道它的重要性
The longest study on happiness showed
关于幸福历时最长的研究表明
that people who end their life happy
那些幸福地结束生命的人
are not the ones who are the richest,
不是最富有的人
or the ones who are the most healthy,
不是最健康的人
or the ones who never made a mistake in their lives.
也不是一生中从未犯过错误的人
The happiest people are those who are surrounded by the most love.
最幸福的是那些被爱包围的人
Love from spouses,
来自配偶的爱
love from children and grandchildren,
子孙的爱
love from friends,
朋友的爱
love from religious organizations and communities.
宗教组织和社区的爱
To fully understand just how important love is,
要完全理解爱的重要性
we need to juxtapose its experience with the pain of loneliness.
我们需要将爱之体验与孤独之苦并列对比
Not having that someone to share your inner monologue with
找不到人来分享你内心的独白
because your thoughts are too petty or intense,
因为你的想法太琐碎或太激烈
random or full of anxiety,
随意或充满焦虑
or too scary to share with just anyone.
或者太可怕而无法与任何人分享
You can’t rant, you can’t scream,
你不能咆哮 不能尖叫
you can’t fully express your feelings
你不能完全表达对
of obsession over your favorite passions,
挚爱的痴迷
or rage over your most heartbreaking moments.
或对最令你心碎的时刻的愤怒
Constantly having to filter our thoughts
必须不断地通过
through the lenses of politeness and political correctness.
礼貌和政治正确性来约束我们的想法
Being looked at but not being seen,
被看到但无人注意
being heard but not being listened to.
被听到但无人倾听
It’s dreadful, we’ve all been there.
这太可怕了 我们都感受过
If love is so important,
如果爱如此重要
why do we not make it the center of our lives?
为什么我们不让爱成为我们生活的中心?
Why do we chase everything else,
为什么我们追逐的却是其他
but to love we say,
但对于爱 我们却说
“stop searching and it’ll find you?”
“别再寻找了 爱会找到你的?”
You see, the truth is love doesn’t always find you,
你看 事实是爱并不总能找到你
and sometimes you have to search it out.
有时你必须去追寻它
So to those chasing love, listen.
所以对于那些追寻爱的人来说 听着吧
In Plato’s dialogue, The Symposium,
在柏拉图的对话式作品《会饮篇》中
Aristophanes the playwright explains love
剧作家阿里斯托芬
the way many of us chasing love think of it.
用大多数追爱之人的想法来解释爱
In the beginning,
一开始
humans were all androgynous with double the parts we have now,
人类都是雌雄同体 拥有的部件是现在的两倍
including two faces turned in opposite directions.
包括有朝向不同的两张脸
This physical form made humans so powerful
这种身体构造使人类如此强大
that they became a threat to the gods.
以至成为了众神的威胁
So Zeus cut them in two,
于是宙斯将他们分为
one male and one female.
一男一女两半
And since,
从那时起
every human has longed to be rejoined with their other half
每个人都渴望与他们的另一半重新结合
like two pieces of a puzzle,
就像拼图的两块
two halves of a whole.
一个整体的两半
Although this is just a myth,
虽然这只是一个神话
it opens up the curtain to why we love the way we do.
但它揭开了我们爱的方式的神秘面纱
We often fall in love with people who we think would complete us,
我们经常爱上那些我们认为会让自己变得完整的人
people who so perfectly fit together the pieces of our heart’s puzzle,
将我们心中的拼图完美拼接在一起的人
people who complement our shortcomings
那些补全我们缺陷的人
and give us hope for the things we are most insecure about.
以及对我们最担心的事情仍抱有希望的人
We love in part with the hope of completion.
我们之所以爱部分是希望变得完整
We all have a deep-rooted need to blossom
我们内心深处都有一种开花的需要
and we can only hope this person is the rain at the end of summer.
所以我们只能希望这个人是夏末的雨
But the truth is,
但事实是
we’re already complete.
我们已经完整了
In us are the two parts of a whole.
我们是一个整体的两个部分
So when people say
因此 当人们说
“stop searching for love,”
“停止寻找爱”时
don’t take that as a message to stop trying,
不要将其视为停止尝试的信息
take that as a lesson
以此为启示
to stop looking for completion in another person.
停止在另一个人身上寻找完整
At the end of the day,
归根结底
only when you truly love yourself,
只有当你真正爱自己
and completely understand the weight that that carries,
并完全了解由此带来的负担时
can you love others the way they deserve to be.
你才能以他人应得的方式去爱他人
It all starts, and it all ends, with you.
一切从你开始 也从你结束

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译制信息
视频概述

如何定义“爱”? 跟随古希腊人用七个不同的词汇来探索七种不同形式的爱吧。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

nis

审核员

审核员GEGE

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTTMQ6AECbc

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