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什么是情感勒索 – 译学馆
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什么是情感勒索

What is Emotional Blackmail?

Imagine this: you’re on the phone with a friend.
设想你在和朋友通电话
They’ve made you angry and in your fight,
他们把你惹火了 你在争吵中
you told them that you want to be left alone for a bit.
告诉他们自己想独自待会儿
You say they aren’t allowed to come to your house
你不准他们到你家来
until further notice and that’s when the dam breaks.
除非你之后通知他们 那就是破冰的时候
They tell you that if you don’t let them come over,
他们却威胁说 如果你不准他们过去
they’ll drive their car over a cliff.
他们就要把车开下悬崖
You don’t want to be the reason
你不希望自己会
they’d do something like that,
导致他们那样做
so you agree to allow them to come over.
便只好同意让他们过来了
The scenario above is an example of emotional blackmail
以上的情节是情感勒索的一个例子
and is in fact a form of abuse.
这其实是一种虐待
At Psych2Go, we hope to bring light to a form
在Psych2Go里 我们希望你能明确
of emotional abuse many don’t even know exists.
一种很多人不知道其存在的情感虐待
If you notice similarities to the above scenario,
如果你对以上的情境
or any of the points in this video,
或本视频内的任何要点感到熟悉
please speak with a licensed mental health professional.
请与持牌的精神健康专家谈谈
Here are four ways to tell what emotional blackmail is.
下面是四种分辨出情感勒索的方法
1 Understanding what emotional blackmail really is.
1 理解情感勒索的本质
Emotional blackmail, as described by Susan Forward PhD
Susan Forward博士在她的著作
in her book ‘Emotional Blackmail’,
《情感勒索》中 把这一概念描述为
“When people in your life use fear,
“你生命中的人用恐惧
obligation and guilt to manipulate you.”
义务和罪恶感来操控你的行为”
Emotional blackmail is a tactic used by abusers
施虐者会用这种情感勒索的技巧
to threaten you to get what they want.
威胁你 从而得到他们想要的
The point is to make you feel fear,
其要点是让你感到恐惧
obligation or guilt or F.O.G
让你认为自己有义务或有罪恶 总称F.O.G
so they can have things go their way.
这样他们就能控制事情的走向
This may be something as simple as throwing a fit
这很简单 比如大发脾气
or going as far as threatening to go back to drug use
或者甚至威胁说如果见不到某人
if they can’t see someone
或去不了某个地方
or be somewhere they want to be.
他们就要复吸
The whole point is to refuse to
这种行为的主旨是
take responsibility for their own actions
拒绝为自己的行为负责
and instead blame others for their bad decisions.
转而责备他人的不当决策
2 Knowing what constitutes an emotional hostage situation.
2 理解情感勒索情况的组成
By the definition above,
根据以上的定义
it could be easy to assume that all children
我们不难假设 所有孩子
take their parents hostage emotionally.
都对他们的父母进行了情感勒索
In R. Skip Johnson’s article,
R.Skip Johnson在他的文章
‘Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt’,
《情感勒索:恐惧 义务和负罪感》中指出
Johnson points out that using the term blackmail
使用“勒索”一词
means that there is forethought from the individual.
意味着施加者是有深谋远虑的
A child throwing a tantrum in the store to get a toy
因此 一个孩子为了得到玩具而在店里耍脾气的行为
isn’t necessarily emotional blackmail
并不一定算是情感勒索
as they are merely subject driven
因为他们完全受起因支配
and have no concept of the manipulation factor.
而且对控制因素没有概念
A teenager exploding emotionally
一个青少年因为借不到车
over not being able to borrow the car
而突然出现情绪爆发
then running off to their room with a knife
然后拿着刀跑回自己房间的情况
is an emotional hostage situation.
就是情感勒索
They want to get something and will make it appear
他们想得到一些东西 并且会表现得
that they will injure themselves to get it.
可以为了得到它们而伤害自己
3 Know where your emotional boundaries are.
3 清楚你的情感边界
By knowing where your emotional boundaries are,
通过弄明白你的情感边界
you will be able to tell when someone over steps them.
你就可以辨别出他人越界的情况
In the early stages of this form of abuse,
在这种形式的虐待的前期
you might not even register that something’s wrong.
你可能甚至无法发觉出异常
You may just assume that
可能只会觉得
the other person gets carried away at times.
对方偶尔会失去理智罢了
As time goes on, you might start to feel
但随着时间推移 你会开始觉得
like the other person places you
对方让你
between a rock and a hard place.
左右为难
Either option you have is a bad one,
两个选择都不合适
but you tend to favor those that are the lesser of the two evils.
但你只能两害取其轻
This is emotional manipulation at its finest.
这就是情感操控的最好情况
What you want isn’t important.
你的诉求并不重要
It’s about what the other person can do
重要的是对方如何
to elicit the emotional response that they want.
诱导出他们想要的情感回应
4 You are where their feelings lie.
4 你是他们情感的宣泄口
Someone who holds you hostage emotionally,
对你实施情感勒索的人
will hold you accountable for their feelings.
会让你对他们的感受负责
This may take the form
形式可能会是这样
of a significant other stating that
你的配偶声称
a breakup from you would cause them to commit suicide.
如果你提出分手 他们就会自杀
You might see this as them being so in love with you
你可能觉得这是因为对方太爱你了
that they would rather die without you.
如果没有你 他们宁可死
That isn’t the case.
可事情并非如此
They are manipulating you to get what they want.
他们是在操控你 好得到他们想要的
The point is to hold you accountable for the feeling
重点是让你对他们那
of sadness that would follow a breakup.
与分手接踵而至的悲伤情绪负责
They may be feeling anxious about the relationship,
他们可能对你们的关系感到焦虑
but instead of facing those fears head-on,
但并未亲自去面对面前的恐惧
they force you to carry them.
而是迫使你去承担它
Understanding what being held hostage emotionally
了解被当作情感人质的情况
and emotional blackmail really means is a great start.
和情感勒索的本质 是一个好的开始
But remember, just because someone
但请记住 对方让你
makes you feel guilty for something,
感到有负罪感或其他感觉
doesn’t necessarily mean they are manipulating you.
并不一定意味着他们在操控你
It all has to do with the present situation
这要取决于现状
and past experiences.
和过往经历
Have you been in a situation
你是否曾经经历过
of emotional blackmail before?
情感勒索的情况?
If you’d like, please share your story
如果你不介意的话 请将你的故事
with us in the comments below.
分享在下方评论中
Also, if you thought this video was helpful,
另外 如果你觉得这个视频有帮助
please give this video a like
请给它点个赞
and don’t forget to subscribe for more content.
别忘了订阅获取更多内容
Thanks for watching!
感谢收看!

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