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情感虐待有什么表现?

What Does Relationship Abuse Look Like? (Abuse Series)

When we think about relationships,
当我们想到恋爱
we assume two people come together because they love each other.
我们一般认为是两个人因爱结缘
The word “love” is often associated with positive connotations.
“爱”这个词通常有着积极的含义
When we hear it, we might connect it to actions
提到爱 我们常常会把它和
like support, affection and interest.
支持鼓励 喜欢和感兴趣联系在一起
On the flip side, however, toxic love exists, too.
而另一方面 也存在有毒的爱
And the scary part is that it’s not always obvious.
可怕的是 有毒之处有时并不明显
When you get caught up in your feelings and passion for your partner,
当你沉浸在对对方的喜欢和激情中时
you can become blindsided.
你可能会变得盲目
Psychologists discovered that when we fall in love,
心理学家发现 当坠入情网
the areas of our brains that help us pick up on suspicion
大脑中负责质疑并帮助我们做出正确判断的部分
and make good judgment become less active,
会变得不那么活跃
which is especially dangerous for those who are involved with a toxic partner.
这对那些陷入有毒感情的人来说 尤其危险
So, what does an abusive relationship look like?
那么情感虐待有什么表现?
Let’s start out with the more obvious signs.
我们从较为明显的迹象开始
Does your partner hit or force intercourse with you?
你的伴侣打你或强迫与你发生性关系吗?
Physical and sexual abuse should never be tolerated.
身体虐待和情感虐待都不应该容忍
So, why do victims never walk away immediately?
那为什么受害者没能立刻脱身?
Because abusive partners tend to be very manipulative.
因为施虐者通常非常善于控制人心
They might not always be violent like most movies and social media portray it.
他们并不总是多数电影或社交媒体描绘的暴力狂
“I’m sorry babe, I didn’t mean to.”
“对不起亲爱的 我不是故意的”
They’ll often say as they embrace their partner
他们通常边这样说边给对方
with a loving hug.
一个充满爱意的拥抱
Or, “I was just having a bad day,
或说“我今天过的很糟糕
I won’t do it again.”
以后不会这样了”
This is how it all starts.
情感虐待就这么开始了
And because the victim usually sees the best in their partner,
因为受害者看到的往往是施虐者最好的一面
they’ll believe them.
所以他们会相信施虐者的话
Abusive partners may even make it up to their victims
施虐者甚至会在次日送伴侣大量礼物
by showering them with gifts the next day.
以此来弥补受害者
They know when to use just enough kindness
他们知道何时该用刚刚够的体贴
to win them back every time.
每次重获伴侣欢心
When this happens, they’ll keep pushing the boundary of what is allowed
当此情况发生时 他们不断试探对方的容忍界限
to see what they can get away with.
看看做什么可逃脱惩罚
And that’s how this cycle repeats.
这个循环不断重复
And abusive relationship can also be mental or emotional.
情感关系中的虐待也可以是精神或情感上的
Common tactics the abuser will use
施虐者的惯用策略
are love bombing and gaslighting.
是感情攻势和煤气灯操纵
When the victim fells like they’ve had enough
当受害方觉得受够了
and tell their partner they’re going to leave,
告诉施虐者他要离开
the abuser will use love bombing
施虐者会使用感情攻势
and might say something like
他们可能会说
“If you leave me, I won’t know what to do with myself.”
“如果你离开我 我不知道一个人该怎么办”
This is why on average victims usually attempt to
这就是为什么受害者在真正摆脱之前
leave seven times before actually leaving for good.
曾平均至少有七次试图离开
When the victim is being gaslighted,
当受害者陷入煤气灯操纵时
the abuser will make them feel as though
施虐者会让他们觉得
they’re going crazy or not remembering things right.
自己精神不正常或是记错了
Consequently, the victim will start to blame themselves
于是 受害者开始把对方的行为
for the actions of their partner.
怪到自己头上
This is how the abuser stays in control,
施虐者就是这样掌握控制权
pulling at the strings of the victim,
操控受害者
whether they guilt trip them,
无论是让受害者感到内疚
or threaten to hurt themselves if they leave.
还是威胁受害者如果离开 他们就会自残
More often than not,
通常
the victim will be too afraid to leave the relationship,
受害者会因害怕而不敢分手
worrying it’s not a safe decision.
担心分手不是万全之策
In extreme cases, it can even be life-threatening
极端情况下 可能危及生命
where women are 70 times more likely to be killed
女性在分手后被杀害的概率
after they leave the relationship.
比分手前高出70倍
And sometimes, it can be the social pressures
有时 也可能是社会压力
that caused victims to suffer longer than they wish.
导致受害者受折磨时间长于自己所期望的
Some abusers will seem like the perfect spouse
有些施虐者事业成功 有经济实力
who is financially and professionally successful.
看起来是完美的配偶
Friends and family members of the victim might get
受害者的亲朋好友很容易陷入
easily sucked into the abusers’ dangerously charming ways,
施虐者看似迷人实则危险的套路中
and believe they’re Mr. or Mrs. Perfect,
认为施虐者是完美先生或完美女士
dismissing the victims’ horror stories.
对其恶劣行径视若无睹
The list goes on, but the relationship doesn’t have to.
例子还可以继续举 但这种关系不必继续坚持
If you believe you’re being abused by your partner,
如果你认为你的伴侣对你情感虐待
or know someone who might be,
或认识的人可能有这个情况
please report this to the police.
请报警
Change will seem scary at first,
改变起初看似很难
but staying in a relationship until it worsens
但维持这段感情直到其恶化
will only put you in greater danger.
只会将你置于更危险的境地
Remember, you’re worthy of being loved in a healthy, supportive way.
记住 你值得拥有一份健康的 相互扶持的感情
If there’re anything else we missed,
如有遗漏之处
let us know in the comment section down below.
请在下方的评论区告诉我们
For more helpful content,
订阅我们的频道
please be sure to also surbscribe to our channel.
获取更多有帮助的内容
Thanks for watching
感谢观看
and stay tuned for our next video for this series.
敬请期待本系列的下个视频

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视频概述

甄别情感虐待,及时止损

听录译者

教瑜伽的Diana

翻译译者

苦桃

审核员

审核员LJ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep_SlqP3p8I

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