George Bernard Shaw was spot-on when he said,
“The single biggest problem in communication
is the illusion that it has taken place.”
Now most of us think we are great communicators,
but sadly, very often,
that’s not the case.
Communication is often a lot more complicated than we think it is.
So here’s my top tip for how to improve your communication skills.
And I want to start with an analogy
that I tend to use quite a lot to help us understand
So computers have been designed really based on people.
Now one I mean by that is the computer I have sitting on my desk
甚至是我的平板 我的手机 都是这样
even my laptop possibly even my phone.
Roughly speaking, about ninety-eight percent
of the memory capacity is like computer
is the hard drive.
By two percent of the memory capacities RAM random access memory.
And people are very much like that
we’ve got our conscious awareness which is our RAM.
And that is anything mean about two percent of anything
that’s happening at any given moment in time.
Then we’ve got our hard drive our subconscious
where all the information is going in and we’re storing it.
But often reduce going away.
Now all computers have an operating system.
Microsoft or whatever it might be.
Then on top of that operating system,
sits lots and lots and lots of different software packages,
different ways of operating.
And people are no different to that
we have a base operating system.
Stuff that’s there to keep a heartbeating, keep it breathing,
fight or flight responses, those sorts of things.
Deep psychological responses that have been around for millions of years.
That’s our base operating system.
But on top of that
sits lots and lots and lots of different applications,
different ways that we communicate,
different ways that we process information,
and different things that we focus our conscious attention on.
Now one of the realities of communication
and what makes it so difficult is
left to our own devices when we’re just firing off the hard drive,
firing up our subconscious and not thinking about it.
We have a tendency to communicate with people in our software,
in our code,
in the way that works best for us.
Now my number one tip and although it sounds obvious,
it can be really challenging.
But my number one tip to improve your communication skills
is to start to communicate in the other persons code.
Start to identify their communication habit
and when you want to give an important message to them.
Give it in a way that makes sense to them.
So you have to do the transferring rather than the receiver.
So you know what it’s like if you’ve got an email and an attachment
and you want to send it to people.
If they’ve got exactly the same software that you created the attachment in,
they’ll get it no troll.
But if they’ve got different versions even if the same software
there may be one or two glitches,
one or two hieroglyphics or whatever.
And that will carry on right through to some people
simply not being able to open the file.
And people are no different.
So my top tip to improve your communication skills
is to focus your attention on communicating
in the code of the other person.