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4个说服别人的技巧 – 译学馆
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4个说服别人的技巧

Top 4 (slightly unethical) tricks on how to persuade anyone

事先说明劝服是操纵别人的行为
Let’s be upfront. Persuasion is all about manipulating other people’s behavior
首先这听起来可能不太道德
Now at first that might sound immoral.
但这也不是绝对的
But it doesn’t have to be.
很多这方面的研究比如说
A lot of these research has actually been on stuff, like
人们怎样才能多捐款
how do people donate more or
怎样增强环保行为
how to increase environmentally–friendly behavior.
所以无论你是想寻求帮助或尝试去创造一个更好的世界
So whether you are asking for a favor or trying to create a better world.
这里有关于劝服的四个诀窍
Here are the top four tricks on persuasion.
1.索取之前先给予
No. 1: Give before you ask
此时你或许会认为这条规则是个常识
Now you might think that this rule is a common sense.
但在当今社会中它已经被完全遗忘了
Yet, it’s been completely forgotten in today’s society.
随着社会媒体化 人们开始无耻地求助
With social media people have become shameless in asking favors,
因为这也是不人性化的
Because it’s also depersonalized
举个例子 你或许看到过一些众筹网站
For example you might have seen crowd-funding sites,
或者在脸书上看到众筹请求
or please on your Facebook wall,
请求捐赠以解决个人课程问题
asking for money to help out a personal course.
甚至有学生在网上请求支付大学学费
There’s even campaigns where students simply ask the Internet to pay for the college tuitions
正如你想的那样
As you can guess,
这些人都没成功
they are not very successful.
你不能光想着不付出就得到收获
You can’t just ask something for nothing.
如果你真的想从他人那得到收获
If you really want something from others,
你就得先给他们有价值的东西
you have to first offer them something of value.
只有这样他们才会帮助你
Only then will they want to help you out.
哪怕是小心意也是有效的
Even small offers will work, for example
比如 如果一位服务员给了顾客两颗薄荷糖
if a waiter gives customers two mints,
小费就会增加14%
tips increase by 14 percent.
如果他给了一颗薄荷糖之后转身离开
Even better if he gives them one mint, starts walking away,
又回来给了一颗薄荷糖的话 效果就会更好
but then turns around and offers another mint,
小费会增加21%
tips increased by 21 percent.
显然这两个薄荷糖根本不值那么多钱
Now two mints clearly aren’t worth that much money.
互利互惠的力量是如此之强令人们乐于去还以善意
Yet the power of reciprocity is so strong that people feel the urge to repay the kindness,
并继而获得更多的善意
and then some more.
因此如果你真想得到什么
So if you really want something,
记得先付出再索取
remember to always give before you ask.
2.金钱不是万能的
No. 2 Money won’t always work
听了上面的方法 你可能会想
After following that rule you might be thinking
好的 我可以给钱
OK, I can offer money.
然而这不总是有效的 比如
However, this won’t always work, for example,
实验表明志愿者在有偿工作时
experienments show that when volunteers were paid for their work,
实际上没有免费工作时认真
they actually worked less compared to when they did it for free.
为什么 因为当你雇佣别人做事时
Why? Well, when you pay people to do something,
他们会觉得 我现在做这事就是为了挣钱
they’ll think, okay, I’m doing this for the money
然而当你不是为钱而做事的时候
However, when you don’t
由于他们没有具体的奖励 他们会这样认为
since there’s no clear reward, they rationalize it as,
我做这事是因为我喜欢这份工作
I’m doing this because I enjoy the task.
这样一来 他们就更有动力去把事情做好
As such they are more motivated to do well.
这就是过度辩护效应
This is learned as an overjustification effect.
同样的事会也会发生在律师身上
The same thing happens when you ask lawyers,
当你问律师是否愿意以30美元的时薪帮助贫穷的退休人士时
if they’d help needy retirees for 30 dollars an hour.
他们不愿提供帮助
they just didn’t want to help.
如果你问律师能否提供免费帮助 他们会欣然接受
But, if you ask, could you help for free? The lawyers overwhelmingly said yes.
这就跟金钱无关了
Here it wasn’t about the money anymore.
它变成了回馈社会
It became about giving back to the community.
所以如果你想让别人做一些有意义的工作
So if you want people to do meaningful work,
钱一定不是唯一驱动力
money can’t be the only motivator.
相反的 像回馈社会这种有价值的东西更吸引人
Instead appeal to other values like giving back to society.
3.利用主流
No.3 Use conformity
尽管我们喜欢与众不同
As much as we like to think we’re individuals
不过人们还是在很大程度上仍然会遵循社会准则
People still largely conform to social norms.
所以要改变他们的行为的话
So to change their behavior,
就要让他们相信每个人都这样做
convince them that everyone else is doing it.
例如一个酒店试着增加毛巾的重复使用次数
For example, one hotel tried to increase towel reusage,
他们放了个牌子 写着75%住这房间的客人都会重复使用他们的毛巾
they put a sign that said 75% of guests who stay in this room reuse their towels.
加入他们来保护环境
Join them in saving the environment.
这个简单的标志使毛巾的重复使用率增加了44%
The simple sign alone increased towel reuse by 44%.
现在这条规则似乎更容易使人听从 但是
Now this rule seems simple to follow, but
有个致命的警告 很多广告活动都掉进过这个陷阱中
there’s a fatal caveat and so many ad campaigns have fallen into this trap.
看这里实际上有两种类型的准则
See there are actually two types of norms.
描述性规范是指别人都做些什么
Descriptive norms which are about what other people do,
而劝告性规范是关于
and injunctive norms which are about
大家认为什么该做
what other people think should be done.
不该让两种规则相冲突
You should never let these two norms conflict.
以广告为例
Take the example of ad, like
肥胖是一种流行病
obesity is an epidemic,
逆流而行 则可以保持健康
buck the trend and be healthy.
这里有两种相互冲突的准则规范
Here you have two conflicting norms.
如果你知道了别人的行为为什么不健康
You’re told that while other people are acting unhealthy
你自己就应该保持健康的生活习惯和行为
You, yourself should be acting healthy.
当这个冲突发生时 广告不仅不能增加人们的健康行为
When this conflict occurs, the ad not only fails to increase healthy behavior,
还会使人们更不愿意去吃得健康
it makes people less willing to eat healthily.
基本上 这则广告与它的初衷相反
Basically, the ad worked against itself.
真令人担心 因为很多活动也是这种风格
This is concerning because so many campaigns have this design.
另外一个例子是发达国家过度消耗能源
Another example is developed countries waste too much energy.
因此 我们知道了要节约
Therefore, we should conserve,
但是研究再次展现了这一点
but research shows that once again,
这信息使人们更不愿意去节约能源
this message makes people less willing to conserve.
如果你真的想要劝服别人
If you really wanted a persuasive message,
要经常将两个准则结合起来
the two norms should always match.
像大部分青少年不吸食可卡因 你也不应该吸食
Such as most teenagers don’t do cocaine, you should neither.
因此 确保正确利用从众效应
Therefore, make sure to use the power of conformity correctly.
4.揭穿伪善
And No.4 point out the hypocrisy
人们讨厌当伪君子
People hate being hypocrites,
我们可以利用这个 举个例子
this is something we can exploit. For example,
在一个实验中让实验人向其他人传播戴避孕套的重要性
one experienment had people preach to others about the importance of wearing condoms,
在公众中传播 这个事实很重要
the fact that this message was public is important,
因为这意味着参与者不能仅仅接受这个知识
because it meant the participants couldn’t just take back the message,
还得执行它
they were committed to it.
而后 经提醒他们想起了过去自己没用避孕套的经历
Next, they were reminded of their own past failure to use condoms.
单是通过强调言行不一 这些参与者开始更坚持使用
By simply highlighting this hypocrisy, these participants started acting
最终提高了避孕套的使用率
more consistently and consequently increased condom usage.
同样的事也发生在吸烟者身上
The same thing happened with smokers,
当被要求去公众中宣传吸烟有害时
when told to creat a public message about how smoking is bad,
他们戒烟的承诺打败了他们现在的吸烟习惯
their commitment against smoking clashed with their actual smoking habits,
正如大家期盼的 六个月后
and as expected, after six months,
相比对照组他们有更高的戒烟率
they had a higher abstainers rate compared to controlled subjects.
所以要改变一个人的行为习惯 让他在公众前做出承诺
So to change behavior, make the person publicly commit to something,
然后揭穿他言行不一
and then point out the hypocritical behavior.
以上就是关于劝服的四个诀窍
And those are the top four tricks on persuasion.

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视频概述

时常感到说服别人很困难吗?本文教你4个说服别人的技巧。1.索取之前先给予。2.金钱不是万能的。3.利用主流。4.揭穿言行不一的行为。本文结合生活中典型例子,帮助你找到合适方法说服别人。

听录译者

Bella

翻译译者

李门牙😄

审核员

审核员W

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDapEhBGuQc

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