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厕所,领结,性别与我 – 译学馆
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厕所,领结,性别与我

Toilets, bowties, gender and me | Audrey Mason-Hyde | TEDxAdelaide

I wonder what you first think when you see me.
见到我第一面 你脑海里的第一个念头是什么?
Perhaps it’s something about my curls – people often mention them.
很可能与我的卷发有关吧 人们总是关注到这个
Or”What a dapper little man.”
或者“多么衣冠楚楚的小伙子呀”
In my experience, one of the first things people do
依我所见 人们通常做的第一件事
is assume I’m a boy or aren’t sure
就是推测我是个男孩 或者拿不准……
whether I’m a girl or a boy.
我是男是女
We do this to everyone.
我们总是这样
We assume what gender someone is, based on how they look,
从一个人的外观判断他们的性别
and if we can’t tell, we get confused.
一旦我们拿不准 我们就会感到困惑
I say”we” because I do it too. It’s ingrained.
我用“我们”这个词 因为我也难免这样 天性如此
Our first decision and mostly unconscious.
我们的第一个念头几乎是无意识的
But why? Well,
但为什么呢?
I’m Audrey, and if we are talking biology, I’m female.
我叫Audrey 从生理角度讲 我是个女孩
But I feel it’s more complex than that.
但实际的体会则要复杂得多
For an entry point, let’s look at my style.
首先 我们来看看我的穿衣风格
As you can probably see, I have a unique style,
你们也看到了 我风格独特
but I wasn’t born wearing suits, bow ties, and flamingo socks.
但是我并不是剩下来就穿正装 戴领结 还穿带有火烈鸟图案的袜子的
My style had to evolve, and it will keep evolving,
我的着装风格总是发展和变化的 并且还将持续下去
and I think it gives some insight into my changing experience of gender.
这让我对自己不断变化的性别认知有了一些了解
Here’s a photo of me before I started school,
这是我学龄前的一张照片
wearing a Star Wars top, a skirt, and sneakers,
穿着星球大战的上衣 裙子和运动鞋
demonstrating to the world that I’m a girl!
好像在向全世界展示我是个女孩儿
It’s the skirt, right?
毕竟女孩子才穿裙子嘛
We all know that sign.
那是常识
So at this age,
在那个年纪
I was just a girl who didn’t care much about what I wore.
我并不太在意我穿着什么
It was functional and varied.
实用多样就行
This all took a different turn when I hit the age
但当我到了5岁开始去上学后
of five and started school.
这一切都有了不同
I remember one of my first days at school,
刚开学的时候
and I was in the girls’ toilet
有一天 我正在女厕所里
when two girls I knew came near me and said,
有两个女孩儿从我身边经过说
“Look, there’s a boy in here.”
“看 这儿有个男孩儿!”
I looked over my shoulder, but there was no one there.
我回头一看 鬼都没有啊
So I asked them,”Where?”
我问她们 哪儿呢?
I realized they meant me.
然后我才意识到 她们说的男孩儿就是我
I was really shocked,
我十分震惊
as I’d only been around people who knew and understood me.
以前身边的人都是熟人 这种误会从来没有发生过
I felt upset and alienated. Eventually,
我开始沮丧 感觉自己格格不入
this misrecognition started happening in public bathrooms as well,
后来 在公共厕所也开始有人把我认成男孩儿
with adults assuming my gender. Often,
这些大人们猜测我的性别
I would get things like”Why are you in here?”
她们常会问我“你怎么在这儿?”
or”Wrong bathroom.”
或者更直接地说“你进错厕所了”
This eventually lead to me being hesitant and tentative
导致我之后再去公共厕所时会犹豫不决
about even going to the bathroom in public. Mostly,
不过多数情况下
people didn’t actually say anything at all.
人们并不会真正说什么
They just stared at me.
他们只是盯着我看
This felt, and feels, worse.
但这样更让人难受
At school, this happened increasingly often,
在学校里 这种情况发生的就更加频繁了
but while many people in that situation
学校里的许多人
might have started dressing more typically female,
都开始打扮的更加女性化
in dresses, with long hair, or bows,
她们穿上了裙子 留上了长发 或戴着蝴蝶结
I became more and more masculine presenting,
我的外观却越来越男性化
wearing what we consider to be boys’ clothes
穿着大家认为的男孩儿才穿的衣服
because in them I felt most authentically myself.
但是我觉得只有穿上男装 我才是我
I was pretty adamant about just wearing male things.
所以对于男装这事儿 我态度一度十分坚决
What that meant to me was no pink, or even purple,
我绝不穿粉色 甚至紫色
or any form of dress, skirt, or even glitter and frills.
也绝不穿裙子 还有任何带有亮片或花边的衣服
I didn’t think of myself as a boy,
当时我不认为我是个男孩儿
but anything that was identified as female felt uncomfortable to me.
但任何女性化的东西都使我感到不适
I adopted the label of”tomboy,”
我接受了“假小子”的标签
which meant a girl who wore boy clothes and played with boys’ toys.
当一个穿着男装 玩着男孩儿玩具的女孩儿
To me, this avoided conflict.
对我来说 这就避免了不必要的冲突
Tomboys are common, right?
假小子不还是挺常见的嘛
They’re even considered a stage – as though we’ll grow out of it.
“假小子”被认为只是某一个阶段的事情 好像长大了自然而然就会不一样似的
My parents never fought my insistence on avoiding dresses.
我从不穿裙子 我父母也没有反对的意思
They allowed me to choose what I wore
他们允许我自己做主
because they believed it had no bearing on who I was.
他们知道 那并不会影响我是谁
I started wearing shirts and bow ties to any slightly formal event.
我开始穿着衬衫 系着领结去参加任何正式一些的活动
Here’s a photo of me
这张照片呢
at six wearing a bow tie I made out of paper
是我6年前 系着用纸片做成的领结
because Dad was wearing his fabric one.
因为爸爸丝织的那条被他自己系上了
As for my experience in bathrooms,
关于我怎么上厕所的问题
I tried to avoid the problem
我也想过办法去解决
by waiting until people left before I went in
比如等到人们离开了过后再进去
because otherwise, I’d feel trapped.
以免陷入一个尴尬的境地
Until about the age of nine,
直到我满了九岁
when someone mistook me for a boy,
一旦有人错把我当成了男生
I would reply comfortably that I’m a girl.
我会坦然地告诉他 我是个女生
But eventually, it stopped feeling right;
但后来 感觉又不怎么对了
instead of gaining confidence the more it happened, I lost it.
我并没有变得越来越自信 而是相反
“Girl” didn’t feel right, but”boy” didn’t feel correct either. So,
“女孩”感觉不对 但“男孩”同样觉得不对劲
what did I want?
我要怎样?
I’m not sure I really knew at the time.
恐怕当时我也并不知道
My friends started getting more and more into sports,
我的朋友们开始越来越喜欢体育活动
but I was never sporty, I was a bookworm.
但我从不运动 我是个书呆子
If I were a boy,
如果我是个男生
people would probably have said I was a sensitive one.
人们大概会说我是个感性的人
They don’t tend to use that term as much for girls,
但对一个女生 他们从来不会这么说
because it’s what’s expected.
这正是人们认为一个女生应该有的样子
So I started hanging out with a group of girls.
于是我开始和一群女孩儿混
This didn’t really alter my style, more my attitude to the word”tomboy,”
然而这并没有真正改变我的风格偏向 倒是对“假小子”这个词
which I grew to dislike.
我变得越来越反感了
I started to realize I could still be a girl
这时候 我开始意识到 我仍然可以是一个女生
and wear typically male things.
同时打扮成典型的男性风格
In my mind, I was still a girl
在我眼里 我还是个女孩
because I didn’t feel like a boy.
因为我觉得我不是个男孩儿
At the age of eight,
八岁那年
I traveled with my parents and the cast of our film,”52 Tuesdays,”
我和我的父母,还有电影《52个星期二》的演员
to the Berlin International Film Festival.
一起去了柏林国际电影节
“52 Tuesdays” was partly about a mom transitioning from female to male.
《52个星期二》讲述了一个母亲 从女性到男性的转变
I image some of you are thinking,”Oh, no!
可以想象 你们或许会说
Audrey just got this gender confusion from her parents film making.”
哦原来Audrey对性别的困惑是从自己父母的电影里来的
But this gender questioning happened before they started considering it,
但我的疑惑早于他们开始构思这部电影
and they say I’ve taught them as much about this as they’ve taught me. Anyway,
他们还说 与其说他们教我 不如说是我教他们的
in Berlin, I met Bart.
在柏林 我遇到了Bart
Bart wore drapy black materials, high heeled boots,
他穿着一双黑色的粗呢靴子
nail polish, and eyeliner,
涂着指甲油 还描了眼线
but he wasn’t dressed as a woman.
但他的着装没有打扮成女性的样子
This demonstrated to me
这向我证明了一件事
that I could be flamboyant and androgynous with my style,
那就是我也可以有我自己的风格 张扬 中性
that my love of bow ties didn’t need to exclude anything traditionally female.
我喜欢领结但 并不意味着我要排斥一切女性化的东西
That year, when the film
那一年
won the Crystal Bear Youth Jury Award,
这部电影荣获了水晶熊奖
I took to the red carpet in eyeliner and nail polish.
我描着眼线 涂着指甲油走上了红地毯
Here’s a photo of me that night. Note the bow tie.
这就是我当晚的照片 注意领结哟
I started to think of gender as something more dynamic.
我开始把性别视作一种会变化的东西
Gender was not your genitals or
性别不是指你的生殖器
even what you wore or acted like,
也不是你的穿着或行为
and maybe it wasn’t fixed.
因为也许性别并不是一成不变的
I’m going to take a second to pose a question to you.
接下来 我要花点儿时间问你们一个问题
Why does it matter to you whether I am a boy or a girl?
我是男孩还是女孩 这为何与你们有关呢?
And if you think it doesn’t,
如果你觉得并没有什么关系
I’m going to really ask you to stop and think.
那我真的要请你停下来 好好想一想
Have you ever come across someone whose gender you just can’t place?
你们有没有遇见过你确定不了性别的人?
Have you wanted to know,
你想知道到底是男是女吗?
even if you don’t care either way,
即使你并不真的在乎
have you wanted to know what they are?
你想不想知道呢?
For those of you who say,”No, I’m totally comfortable not knowing,
如果你说 “我不知道也没啥问题”
I don’t use’he’ or’she’ when talking about them,
“当我提及他们时 我不用他或者她就行了”
I just treat them as a human without any gender identifiers.” Well,
“我就把他们当作一个……人类来对待 没有性别”
that’s impressive. It’s hard to do.
但这非常难做到
Just try and talk about someone for a minute without using gender terms.
你可以尝试着不用性别词汇 去和别人交流试试看
It’s really difficult.
你会发现这太难受了
This is Audrey.
”这是Audrey
Audrey is a… …
Audrey……
young person who doesn’t identify as any gender.
是一个没有被划分成任何性别的年轻人
Audrey writes stories and they love writing.
Audrey喜欢故事 故事们喜欢写作”
Audrey loves writing – not the stories love writing.
Audrey喜欢写作 抱歉说错了
Oops.
哎呀
It’s hard for all of us.
这样说话 说的人累 听的人也很累
We want to know because of our language and, also, in my experience,
在我看来 我们想知道一个人的性别 这是语言习惯使然
it’s because we treat men and boys differently to women and girls.
当然 还因为人们对待男性的方式有别于女性 不管是大人还是小孩儿
And we want to know how to treat them.
所以人们希望通过知道性别而正确的对待一个人
Sometimes I’m glad that people mistake me for a boy
有时候 我很庆幸被误认为是一个男生
because I get to have real conversations with people.
正是这样 我才得以和他们进行真正的交流
They ask me about my future,
他们会问我一些关于未来的问题
and we talk about about what I want to do. Often,
然后我告诉他们我想要做什么
when they find out I’m not a boy,
而一旦他们知道了我不是一个男生
they don’t know how to treat me.
他们就会不知道怎样去面对
My friends, who show more outward signs of being girls,
我的朋友们 她们表现出了更多的女性特征
often get called things like”sweetheart,” or”darling,” or”love.”
于是她们被称为“亲爱的” “小甜心”
People comment on how pretty they are. Recently,
人们交口称赞她们有多美丽
when I traveled overseas,
最近我去了国外一些地方
I noticed a trend of gender neutral or all-gender public bathrooms,
我发现 无性别的厕所开始普及了
which makes me feel so relieved.
这让我感到万般轻松
Having that choice makes me love
有了这个选择
going to the bathroom in public,
我就可以自在地在公共场合上个厕所
and I love I don’t have to tell anyone what genitalia I own.
不用去解释你的性别 这当然很让人开心
Here’s a photo of me in my sparkle pants, as I call them.
这是一张我穿着我闪亮亮的裤子的照片
They really added flare to my style,
它们简直为我的搭配风格增光添彩
and they also really confuse some people
但也没少让人疑惑
about whether I am a boy,
我到底是男是女呢
or even, possibly, make them uncomfortable
甚至 这还会让他们感到不痛快
because I seem like a very flamboyant, or even girly boy.
因为我在他们眼里就是个十分骚包的 甚至女孩儿气的男孩
Though I don’t think this is always easy,
尽管 这并不容易
I’m so happy
我很庆幸
with the choices I made when I was younger
我在更小的时候做出了这样的选择
to wear what made me feel good and
我决定了要穿我自己喜欢的衣服
that I felt expressed me
去释放我的个性
because I think I would be a much unhappier kid otherwise.
否则 我过去这些年可能会过的非常难受
I still get called a boy in public situations, but,
在公众场合 我仍然被认为是男孩儿
in terms of bathrooms,
上厕所的时候
I try to go to the all-gender or unisex ones, or,
我尽量去不区分性别的卫生间
if I can’t, I go to the disabled toilets.
或者找残障人士厕所
Although I do still use the girls’ loos
尽管在学校里 或者有时在其他地方
in school and sometimes in public.
我还是会去女厕所
Using the girls’ toilets, I never feel good,
但这着实让我觉得不对劲
and I still have a tendency to go with someone else.
而且还会找个人一起去
Though I’m not labeled as a particular gender
虽然 当我去残障人士卫生间时
when I go to the disabled toilets,
我不会被贴上任何性别标签
I don’t feel great still,
我仍然不开心
because it just reminds me
因为这让我意识到
that there are mostly no toilets for people like me
对于我这类 无法定位自己性别的人
who don’t identify within the gender binary,
没有专用的厕所
and that toilets are just another way we categorize people.
但厕所却是我们区分人的一种标准
My style has evolved drastically
从小到大 我的穿衣风格有了很大的变化
since the Star Wars t-shirts and skirts of my early childhood,
小时候 我穿的是星球大战T恤和裙子
and I think it has a lot to say
这事儿蕴含了很多道理
about how I now appreciate and consider gender.
比如我对性别的认知和思考
I’ve realized that, for me, gender is a spectrum.
我意识到 于我而言 性别就好像是光谱
What my gender expression and identity is, is entirely about me
性别所传达的信息 是完全关于自己一个人的
and not about how other people perceive me.
而不在于怎样让别人去认可你
I don’t know how we deal with that
我也很无奈
in a world so desperate to define by gender.
这是这样一个渴望用性别进行定义的世界
I’m going to leave you with that same question.
我要把之前的那个问题留给你们
Why does it matter to you whether I am a boy or a girl?
我的性别 为什么对你来说很重要?
Or that I am in the wrong bathroom?
我是否进错了厕所 对你产生了什么影响?
Does it really matter to you which bathroom I use?
我去哪个卫生间 对你来说真的那么重要吗?
Because it does matter to me.
不知道 但对我来说很重要
Would it hurt you not to know someone’s gender?
你不知道一个人的性别 我想不会有什么损失吧?
Because despite how uncomfortable it might make you feel,
除了会让你感到不痛快
you assuming my gender makes me feel uncomfortable every day.
但你揣测我是男是女会让我不愉快一整天
All I’m asking is
所以我拜托各位
for you to just sit with that little bit of uncomfortable
按捺住这一丝不痛快
to make someone else feel better.
而去让别人获得自在
Because it does matter to me.
这对我来说太重要了
It matters to me when I walk with my friends
当我和朋友们一起逛街
and you say,”Hey, girls!”
你走过来说一句姑娘们好啊 这问题也很严重
But I don’t want you to make amends,
但我不指望你们弥补
I don’t hold my grudges, but everytime you say that
我虽然也不记仇 但这样的事每发生一次
it smudges my happy thoughts into undefinable words.
我美好的心情都会毁于一旦
It matters to me when you say I’m a handsome lad
当你称赞这小伙儿真帅嘿!这问题也很严重
because while you may be complimenting,
你或许是在赞美
it makes me question my inner vision of myself. So,
但你会让我怀疑我的内在
strangers, sit uncomfortably
因此 请你们忍住心中的不痛快
while I tell you how my gender ranges from day to day.
我的性别随着时间的变化 可能每天都不一样
sometimes neutral, sometimes fluid, sometimes gentle, sometimes fierce.
时而平静 时而易变 有时温柔 有时暴躁
It doesn’t make me a boy,
这并不是说我就是个男孩
but it doesn’t mean that I’m realigning,
也并不意味着我在重新界定性别
and I don’t want to be redefining what it means to be a girl.
我不想重新去定义什么是女孩儿
Because I’m not a girl.
因为我不是个女孩儿
So it does matter to me.
所以请不要问我的性别
(Applause)
(掌声)

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译制信息
视频概述

性别并不是生殖器,不是衣着,不是长相,不是行为,也不是一成不变的

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收集自网络

翻译译者

林怀银

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审核员_BZ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCLoNwVJA-0

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