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我没有告诉你们的一件事 – 译学馆
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我没有告诉你们的一件事

There’s Something I Never Told You

有一些我从没对你说过的东西
There’s something I never told you.
但是我怎么告诉你呢?
But how do I tell you?
我怎么告诉你我自己出了一点问题?
How do I tell you something is wrong with me?
我该怎么告诉你我有抑郁症
How do I tell you I have depression,
我每天都要面对它?
that I deal with it every day?
我抑郁了这么多年?
That I have been for years?
很难对没经历过绝望的人
It’s so hard to explain depression to
解释它究竟是什么
someone who doesn’t deal with it.
它不是你能轻易克服的东西
It’s not something you just get over.
你没办法让自己开心
You can’t just will yourself to be happy.
我希望人们不要再说这个了
I wish people would stop saying that.
想象一下你的头顶上整天有云雨 每天有云雨
Imagine having a rain cloud over your head, all day, every day.
想象一下你在任何事情上都找不到乐趣
Imagine not being able to find joy in anything.
想象一下每天醒来就感到焦虑还不能解释是什么原因
Imagine waking up every day feeling anxious and not being able to explain why.
我希望我能控制它
I wish I could control it.
我试了所有的方法
I’ve tried everything.
我看了激励人的演讲 我读了上千积极的名言
I’ve watched the motivational speeches. I’ve read thousands of positive quotes.
我整天尝试用肯定的东西
I’ve even tried the whole daily affirmations thing
像相信我自己 我很开心
as if I could convince myself, am happy
坦白讲 有时确实会起作用 一点点
Honestly, sometimes it works.. for a bit
但我总感觉这些东西只是暂时的
But it always feels temporary,
就像我清楚地知道我又要在哪结束
like I know exactly where I’m going to end up again.
就好像它总是会变坏
It feels like it gets worse all the time.
就像一个恶性循环 那是不可能逃脱的
Like a downward spiral that’s impossible to escape.
那是一种就像在水面行走的感觉
It’s kind of like I’m treading on water, but
但是我的胳膊真的非常累 我不知道
my arms are getting really tired, and I don’t know
我还能游多久
how much longer I’ll be able to swim for.
你看到的所有都是外面 表面
All you see is the outside, the surface.
因为这都是我允许你看到的
Because that’s all that I allow you to see.
我不想让你看到我的这一面
I don’t want you to see this side of me.
这一面是我
The side of me that is me,
但是同时并不是所有的我
but isn’t me all at the same time.
我真的感觉真实的我是快乐的
I really feel like the real me is happy.
我知道那是里面的我
I know it’s inside me,
但是由于我的这些想法我的体重都下降了
but it’s like I’m being weighed down by these thoughts.
从一切事物中吸收快乐
Sucking the happiness out of everything.
我有太多需要感谢
I have so much to be thankful
我知道我应该对拥有的一切表示感激
for and I know I’m supposed to be grateful for everything I have,
但是好像有一些东西阻止我享受它
But it’s like there’s something preventing me from enjoying it.
享受生活
Enjoying life.
我感到内疚 内疚我不能感激一切事物
I feel guilty, guilty that I can’t appreciate anything.
愧疚感让我把我的问题归咎于家人和朋友
Guilty that I keep putting my problems on my family and friends.
我很内疚所以我总是生气
I’m Guilty that I’m always angry.
对生活气愤 我想
Angry at life, I guess.
我从没想过这会是我
I never thought this would be me.
我过去如此高兴 但是一些东西变了
I used to be so happy, but something changed.
发生在我身上的事情 我犯的错误
The things that have happened to me, the mistakes I’ve made.
为什么这些东西在我的脑海里一遍遍上演
Why do I replay them over and over
它们就像刚刚发生过一样?
in my head like they just happened?
折磨我自己 我告诉你在这些又怎么样?
Torturing myself. What if I told you all this?
你会怎么想我?你会怎么评价我?
What would you think of me? Would you judge me?
你会放弃我因为你看见了
Would you abandon me because you see the
真正的我而不是表面上快乐的我
real me instead of the facade of happiness
你习惯了在网上看每一天
you’re used to seeing everyday online?
在这样的状态里只有我自己吗?
Am I alone in this?
我是唯一感受到抑郁的人吗?
Am I the only one who feels like this?
我不会是唯一一个 但是如果这是对的
I can’t be, but if that’s true,
为什么别人不说出他们自己的抑郁呢?
why doesn’t anyone else speak up above their own depression?
我在网上看到的所有人都是一直在微笑
All I ever see online are people smiling all the time.
没有人曾说过他们抑郁
Nobody ever says they’re depressed.
难道这都是为了给观众和喜欢它的人看的吗?
Is it all a show for views and likes?
又或者这都是真实的
Or is it all real,
我是唯一一个经历过抑郁的人?
and I’m the only one who suffers like this?
可能我是唯一一个
Maybe I am alone.
可能这是一种耻辱
Or maybe there’s a stigma.
我知道的所有事情都提醒我我不能再这样了
All I know is I can’t do this anymore.
一些东西变了
Something’s got to change.
该叫它的名字:绝望 这是真的
It’s time to call it what it is: depression. And it’s real.
这不仅是几周变成几个月变成几年的事情
It’s not just a series of weeks turned into months turned into years.
这不是我仅仅要克服的东西
This is not something I will just get over.
我自己做不到
I can’t do this on my own.
我需要帮助
I need help.
治疗 找心理学家 甚至药物治疗
Therapy, a psychologist, or even medication.
一些东西
Something.
我知道接受帮助没什么可耻的 见鬼
I know there’s no shame in getting help, hell,
在非社会主流媒体中 我公开地说过
I’ve spoken so openly about the importance of mental health and the awareness
很多次关于精神健康和意识健康的事儿了
of non social medias so many times.
但是事实是 我是个伪君子
But the truth is, I’m a hypocrite.
因为不管是战争 邮件还是撤退
Because despite the campaign’s and posts and retweets,
我从没关心过我的精神健康
I’ve never taken care of my own mental health.
所以我还公开地谈论我自己的努力了
So it’s time that I talk openly about this about my own struggles.
世界需要知道真相
The world needs to know the truth.
因为可能外面的其他人也在经历像我一样的事情
Because maybe there is someone else out there that suffers like I do.
其他某些人像我一样感到失望
Someone else who feels hopeless like I do.
有可能找到安慰的那些人感觉他们并不孤独
Who might find comfort that they’re not alone.
那些可能受到鼓舞的人最后得到帮助
Who might be inspired to finally get help.
我必须试一试
I have to try.
所以从今天开始 从这个视频开始
So today it begins, and it starts with this video.
我该允许自己舒适一点了
It’s time I admit I’ve gotten comfortable feeling this way.
我过去习惯了消极 以至于我觉得那很正常
I’m so used to feeling down that it seems normal.
过去时那样 但是以后不再那样了
It’s what I’m used to, but no more.
我要去治疗无论付出什么代价
I’m going to go to therapy and whatever it takes
因为我知道那值得一试
because I know it’s worth trying.
我要追求真正的帮助
I’m going to seek real help
因为无论最后导致什么结果都会比现在更好些
because whatever it leads to has to be better than this.
我将不会再感到自责或者愧疚
I’m not going to feel guilty or ashamed anymore.
我要找回自己而且还要为自己做一些事情
I’m going to pick myself up and do something about this.
沮丧将不再掌控我的生活 影响我的决定
Depression is no longer going to run my life, Dictating my decisions.
今天我控制住了我自己 我重新回到了正常的生活
Today I’m taking back control. I’m taking back my life.
所以现在你知道了
So now you know.
我不知道从这开始会发生什么
I don’t know what happens from here,
但是我不知道这是正确的第一步
but I know this is the right first step.
所以剩下的唯一一个问题是 我是一个人吗?
So the only question left is, Am I alone?
不 你不是 马特
No you aren’t, Matt.
你不是一个人
You’re not alone.
我和其他真实的粉丝
I and other true fans,
朋友们和家人都会支持你度过所有困难的时刻
friends and family will support you through all the hard times.
我们都喜欢好的时光
We will all enjoy the good times.
祝你好运 马特
Good luck, Matt.

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视频概述

每个人都有经历过沮丧,失望,但最终我们还是要鼓起勇气告别沮丧,快乐生活

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

孙卫卫

审核员

审核团GK

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpUf7N44xOY

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