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巫师3:狂猎 恶搞视频

The Witchar: Wicked Hunt (The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt parody)

MM级视频 少儿不宜(小屁孩走开)
Rated “MM” for Mature Motherfuckers.
杀了巫师
KILL THE WITCHER!
能给我安静些吗?我想在工作呢!
Can I have a little silence, please? I’m trying to get some work done in here!
谢谢你!
THANK YOU!
上帝啊!
Jesus!
请帮帮我们 陌生人!
Please, help us, stranger!
当然可以 告诉我这里发生了什么
It’s all right, tell me what happened here.
荒野猎人 他们烧毁了我的房子!
The Wild Hunt. They burned my house down!
该死!那……那真可怕…
Damn! That’s…That’s terrible…
他们还喝光了井里所有的水 并且打伤了我的丈夫!
They also drained all the water from the well, and crippled my husband!
那些禽兽……他们会付出代价的!
Those MONSTERS… They will pay for what they done!
他们还把我的儿子吊死在树上!
And then they hung my son on a tree!
上帝啊!那真令人悲伤!!!
OH MY GOD! This is so SAD!!!
说真的……我以前也经历过一些糟糕的事情 但是……这太常见了!
I mean… I’ve been through some heavy shit, but… This is too much!
哦 一位巫师!
Oh, a Witcher!
巫师大人 我们需要你的帮助
Please, Master Witcher, we need your help!
好的 好的……这儿发生了什么?
Yeah, yeah… What happened now?
在两天前……我的农村在夜晚遭到了攻击
It was two days ago… Me farm was attacked during the night…
所有的动物被杀了……从那天起 这片区域就被鬼魂缠绕
All the animals were killed… From that day on, this area is haunted by evil spirits…
等等 等等!你是在告诉我……你看到了鬼魂?
Wait, wait! So basically you are telling me that… You saw a ghost?
是的 我亲眼看到的!
Yes, I saw it with me own eyes!
绝不!我TM才不和鬼魂呆在一起!
HELL NO! I’m not fucking with ghosts!
吻我 盖略特 在这头吃的的饱饱的独角兽上抱住我!
Kiss me, Geralt, take me right now on this stuffed unicorn!
好……或许你应该先把这件碍事的衣服脱掉
Well… Maybe you should get rid of that junk first.
为何不用你的魔法帮助我呢?
Why don’t you help me with your magic then?
好的
All right.
哦 该死!
Oh shit!
啊啊啊!!!
AHHH!!!
好吧……该死
Well… Fuck.
哇 都结束了!
Whoa, that was close!
跟我聊聊它!
Tell ME about it!
盖略特 谢谢你为我清理这个地牢
Geralt, thank you for clearing this dungeon for me.
不用谢!
Not a problem!
好啦 我现在要走了……你还会再来看我吗?
Well, I gotta go now… Will you visit me sometime?
“当然会的”你表现的并不在意
(始终与这位女士合作!)
我尽量……你知道的 我是个不停奔波……孤独的人
I’ll try… You know, I’m a lonely man always on the run…
哦……我理解
Oh… I understand.
再见 盖略特 希望某天还能见到你
Goodbye, Geralt. Hope to see you someday!
哦 盖略特!
Oh, Geralt!
嗯……好久不见了!哈……
Uhm… Haven’t seen you in a while! Huh…
嗯 你懂的 我只是经过这里 所以……
Well, you know, I was just passing by, so…
嗯……我明白……
Uhm… I see…
好吧 请进
Well, please, come in.
盖略特 我能请你帮个忙吗?
Geralt, can I ask you a favor?
当然……你有什么打算呢?
Sure… What’s on your mind?
我要将一样东西归还给我的朋友 你能帮我还一下吗?
I have to return a thing to a friend, can you do that for me?
嗯……好!
Oh… OK!
顺便说一下他住在山上……
He lives in the mountains by the way…
哇噢!我回来了!
Woooh! I’m back!
非常感谢您 盖略特……
Thank you very much, Geralt…
好啦 我现在要走了 因为我还有事要做 那么……
Well, I gotta go now, because I have some stuff to do, so…
等下 在你离开前做最后一件事情……
Wait! One last thing before you leave…
嗯?
Yeah?
你懂的……我在这感到非常孤独……
You know… I’ve been feeling quite lonely here…
我在想……
I was wondering…
嗯?
YEAH?!
如果你在诺维格勒看到这个男人 你能告诉他让他来看看我吗?
If you see this man in Novigrad, can you tell him to pay me a visit?
他十分的可爱并且十分浪漫!
He’s sooo cute and sooo romantic!
谢谢你 盖略特!再见!
Thank you, Geralt! Bye!
哦!放松 罗奇……
Wow! Easy, Roach…
该死!
Damn it!
那么 我猜我现在可以说我打败了荒野……之王
Well, I guess now I can say that I beat the king… Of the Wild Hunt!
我告诉过你我讨厌那个!!!
I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK OF THAT!!!
我们在这停下 维斯曼 我需要收集些药草
Let’s stop here, Vesimir, I need to gather some herbs.
你需要帮助吗?
Do you need some help?
嗯……你知道的 实际上不需要 因为…
Uhm… You know what, actually no, because…
因为我有些私人的事要做 所以我过几分钟回来 行吗?
Because I have some other private things to do, so I’ll back in a second, okay?
哦 你需要一些尿尿时间 对吗?
Oh, you need to some POO-POO TIME, I’m right?
是的 维斯曼 我需要尿尿时间……我的天哪……
Yes, Vesimir, I need poo-poo time… Jesus Christ…
现在 我称之为炼金术!耶~
Now that’s what I call alchemy! Yeeeaaah!
你确定你不需要一些帮助?
Are you sure you don’t need some help?
你确定你不需要一些帮助?哦 天呐 伙计!
– Are you sure you don’t need some help? – Oh, come on, man!
我的旅程快要结束了 索瑞尔一定被困在城堡里
My journey is almost over, Ciri must be held in this castle.
(坚持住 索瑞尔!我正在去救你)索瑞尔!!!
(Hold on, Ciri! I’m coming to save you!) CIRI!!!
真的嘛?
Seriously?
这真的是你对我开的最好的玩笑吗?
Is this really the best joke that you can come up with?
盖略特 我能请你帮个忙吗?
Geralt, can I ask you a favor?
等等 为什么屋里会有这么大的风?
Wait, why is it always so windy inside?!
哦!
Oh!
嗨嗨嗨……人类!!!
Heeeheee… HUMAAAAAN!!!
哦……
Uuuggh…

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视频概述

未成年人请在父母陪同下观看,已成年的人请避开父母观看,谢谢配合。额…好吧…这只是一部有趣的巫师3恶搞视频

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

木岑

审核员

赖皮

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aOp1p7e0d4

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