I think that the wonderful thing that I learned writing the book Extreme You and interviewing
some of the most extraordinarily successful people in the world—I mean everyone
from Condoleezza Rice to Bode Miller the downhill skier, Mister Cartoon who is a tattoo artist
I’ve interviewed people from all walks of life who have achieved incredible success in very different areas.
And what I found with all of them is that even when they achieved success
like what most of us would consider the pinnacle.
I mean an Olympic gold medal is about as good as it gets, right?
They would then say, “Okay, I’m restless to get more out of myself
and I want to break myself down and take on the next challenge.”
And that, to me, was pretty spectacular to see.
It’s like for them success is not a goal, it’s just an ongoing journey.
And every time they achieve something they realize that there’s more of their own potential to unlock
So to be Extreme You is to be maximizing every aspect of your own personal potential, and
that means really understanding who you are, what are your unique gifts
what are your idiosyncrasies, what are the funny things about you
what blows your hair back and makes you feel amazing?
And also where are you not as strong?
Like where do you suck?
Where do things not work for you?
And then when you understand that and then really push yourself to maximize everything
that is great about you and play your game on your own terms, that’s being Extreme you
It’s incredibly fulfilling because I think when you are playing to your greatest strengths
like we’ve all had that experience when you’re in a job or in an environment that
just makes you thrive and you come into work every day and you feel super confident and
you just can be yourself.
And that is what it feels like.
And the polar opposite is when you find yourself in an organization that just doesn’t sort of fit with who you are
and you’re having to edit yourself in and try not to get into trouble
or do things the wrong way.
So it feels pretty amazing to be Extreme You, and it also is generally a place
when you are kind of pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.
Like you have the confidence to take on bigger challenges and things that you haven’t done
because you know that you’re playing to your strengths.
So the first thing I definitely say is, it’s about what I call “checking yourself out”.
And that means like really understanding what you love and what your greatest skills are.
And it’s funny, like there’s a lot of media around there today saying to young people,
you know, “Find your passion and then you’ll be happy.”
And I’m like, “You can’t do a Google search and find your passion!”
你需要走出去 尝试 知道吗？
You actually have to get out there and try stuff, you know?
And get in there and really try it.Do it.
Like experience all sorts of different things.
Because that’s when you’ll notice where you really shine and frankly where you suck.
I mean I personally can speak about working in the sports industry
where I just was like a duck to water and loved it, compared to working in the video game industry where I sucked
I mean I just didn’t have anything in common with the products, the people that chose to
And the feelings of being in those two different places were equally as important as each other
to help me refine what was the most extreme version of where I would thrive.
And I think everybody needs to get in and experience the good and the bad to help sort
of refine your own filter.
The reason I actually wrote this book in the first place is I found myself in my late 30s.
I had finally, finally achieved some what society would consider successes in my career.
I had led the turnaround of a five-billion dollar business as its president which is obviously no small feat.
And I started seeing articles that were written that would refer to me, or my bio read out when I’m giving a speech
它们都说“她做了这些很棒的事 她做了那些很棒的事 她领导了这个公司
And it would say, ‘She did this great thing, She did that great thing, She led this company.
She’s being called this in the media.She’s amazing.”
And I literally would sit there squirming in my chair going, “Oh my god.
No one’s telling the truth!!”
Because the truth is I’ve had some really embarrassing fuck-ups along the way.
And I think it’s important for young people to see that those who become successful have
had all those moments of uncertainty, all those moments of frankly averageness.
我就是那种典型的B等生 从来没有进过最好的运动队 从来没有在合唱团里独唱过
I mean I was that classic B-student, never made the top sports team, never made the choir solos
Like never got picked for anything.
But still I managed to go on learning and refining
to figure out where I would achieve my personal success.
And I believe that that path exists for absolutely everyone.
But we have a culture of success right now that would say otherwise.
Like when you combine the world of social media
where all of us are putting these perfectly coiffed pictures into the world
and then you throw in the whole 40 under 40 list, 30 under 30 list
Everyone in the world is apparently crushing it except for you.
Like it’s really hard to believe that you can’t become great
but yet I know from my story that it was possible
and then I went on this mission to interview some really, really successful people to prove my case.
And I totally proved my case, because what I found in the book
and I effectively codified into a method of how you get the best out of yourself
was that every successful person in the world did not start knowing that they were going to get there.
Pretty much every one of them did not start with these natural god-given talents.
Most of them ended up succeeding in a field that was completely different to what they originally expected.
So it was a real story of willingness to experience and try things
and then eventually figure out where you’re going to thrive.
And I think the last lesson in all of it was that even those experiences early on
where you feel like you’ve put X number of years into the wrong career or you’re going in the wrong direction
even when you change directions those early experiences
actually contribute to what becomes a great success, and nothing is wasted.