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有关厕纸、便便以及人造便便的冷知识 – 译学馆
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有关厕纸、便便以及人造便便的冷知识

The Top-Secret Research (and Fake Poop) Behind Every Roll of Toilet Paper

Everybody poops around a pound a day in fact,
事实上 每人每天都需要排便一磅左右
and everybody wants a clean butt.
同时 每个人都想有个干净的屁屁
These two facts were constantly at odds until the 6th century AD,
公元六世纪前 这两者一直相互矛盾 不可兼得
when the Chinese used their paper making prowess
直到中国人用造纸术
to create sheets meant for doing your dirty work.
发明了擦屁屁的厕纸
In 1857, a man named Joseph Gayetty
1857年 一个名叫约瑟夫·盖埃蒂的人
created the first commercial toilet paper.
推出了第一卷商业厕纸
And today, Americans use almost three rolls per person every week.
如今 美国人每周人均使用三卷厕纸左右
But good old TP has come a long way since then,
但厕纸已经有了很长的历史
and you might be surprised
你也许会惊讶
how much Research&Development goes into each roll.
每卷厕纸里包含了多少研发心血
Toilet paper might seem like a simple product,
或许厕纸看起来只是种简单的商品
but it has to fit some tough criteria: it has to stay strong
但它必须通过一些严格的标准:它必须保持坚韧
while it’s the only thing between your hand and your poop
因为你的手和屁屁就一“纸”之隔
even if it gets wet in the process.
厕纸在使用时沾湿了也得保持坚韧
But it also has to break apart pretty quickly
而且它还得迅速分解
to avoid mucking up your plumbing.
以免堵塞你家的下水道
And of course it has to be reasonably soft,
当然 它还得有一定的柔软度
because your tush is precious.
因为你的屁屁可是很娇弱的
But paper tends to get less strong
但厕纸越柔软就越不够坚韧
as it gets softer and vice versa.
反之亦然
Companies that design your potty paper
那些设计厕纸的公司
are constantly seeking out a better balance between these desirable properties
一直在探寻 摸索这两点间的平衡
so they can wipe the competition.
从而能结束权衡两点利弊
I recently talked to researchers at Procter and Gamble
最近 我与宝洁公司的研究员讨论了
about the secret sauce that help Charmin keep your rear-end feeling fresh.
Charmin能保持屁屁干净清爽的独家研发秘籍
And by secret sauce, I mean secret fake poop.
所谓的独家秘籍 我指的是秘密人造便便
Charmin’s labs are bursting with old new and so new
研发Charmin的实验室有各种测试厕纸属性的新旧技术
we’re not allowed to film ittech for testing TP properties.
其中最新的厕纸检验技术不允许拍摄
Machines are perfectly calibrated
精心校准的机器
to test precisely how much force it takes,
用以精确地测试破坏厕纸所需的力度
for example,
比如
to break wet and dry toilet paper with an object about the width of a finger.
用一指宽度左右的物体将干湿两种厕纸弄碎
There are even machines to test exactly
这儿甚至还有机器用来测试
how paper will drape when it hangs off the roll.
厕纸装在卷轴上如何垂落
These tasks, which companies like P & G conduct
宝洁公司对自家生产
on both their own products and competitors ’
及其竞争对手们的产品进行检测
to see how they’re measuring up
来比较它们之间的区别
are increasingly being ported over to robots
越来越多的检测工作都由机器人完成
We got to watch one bot
我们看到了一个机器人
whose only purpose in life
它的唯一任务
is to take tiny strips of toilet paper and place them in a machine
就是把一小条厕纸放进机器里
that sloooowly tugs them until they break.
然后缓慢地拖拽它们 直到厕纸破裂
It’s not sexy,
听起来并不性感
but without this rigorous lab work,
但如果没有这种严谨的实验
companies would have no way of really knowing
公司就无法真正了解
how their paper would perform when you got down to business
厕纸进入市场后会有何反响
Tests like this have allowed P & G to refine their paper,
这些测试让宝洁不断改进厕纸生产
making process more eco-friendly.
也使其生产过程更加绿色环保
it uses 18 % less water per unit than it did in 2010,
和2010年相比 宝洁的单位用水量下降18%
but there’s still a lot of work to do.
但前路仍漫漫
A recent report by the Natural Resources Defense
最近自然资源保护协会发表的一篇报道中
Council gave Charmin Ultra Soft an “ F ”
只给Charmin Ultra Soft 厕纸评了“F”级
in sustainability for using 100% new paper,
因为它们使用的是100%新纸
instead of recycled.
而不是回收材料
P & G isn’t alone in relying on old-growth forests to make their products.
宝洁不是唯一一个靠原始森林制造产品的公司
But for now, the fact is that if you’re buying toilet paper that’s marketed as “ soft ”
但是事实是 如果你买的厕纸上写着“柔软”
and well, it feels soft,
而且 感觉起来确实很软
it’s probably not coming from super-sustainable sources.
有可能它并不是可再生资源制成的
P & G told us that while almost all of their
宝洁告诉我们 他们旗下几乎所有产品的
inner cores and paper packaging come from recycled sources
纸芯和外包装都是可循环利用的资源
and”recycled paper has many great uses,
并且“可循环用纸有很多的用处
toilet tissue isn’t one of them. “
厕纸可不是其中之一”
So, you have to decide how soft
所以这由你来决定
is soft enough for your butt.
适合自己使用厕纸的柔软度
And boy, do most people care about toiletpaper being soft.
的确 大多数人会关心厕纸是否柔软亲肤
Charmin relies on a fleet of sensory testers
Charmin厕纸由一批产品体验专员
to rate its products against prototypes and
将产品和原型产品进行评估 排序
competition on qualities you can’t really test for in a lab,
他们不能在实验室里进行这些质量测试
like how expensive a roll looks
比如 这卷厕纸看起来贵不贵
or how cushy it feels, or how bright it is
或者感觉它用起来有多舒服 看着怎么样
even how it smells.
甚至它有什么味道
These workers undergo six months of training for the job,
这些员工们历经六个月的培训才能上岗
and only 50 % of them develop enough sensitivity to get hired.
但只有50%的人能训练出足够的敏感度而被聘用
But no matter what roll you throw in your cart,
不管你选择哪种卷纸
plush, sturdy, soft
毛绒 强韧 还是柔软
One thing is always true:
有一条真理恒古不变
toilet paper needs to stay together until it hits the water
在厕纸被丢进水里之前 它们需要保持原样
and then for a little bit of time afterwards
遇水后的一段时间内也得保持原状
but then it needs to break apart FAST.
那之后 它又得快速分解
At P & G there’s a flushability lab to make sure TP does just that.
在宝洁 有一个冲水实验室确保厕纸达到这一要求
It’s…exactly what it sounds like.
看起来确实和它的名字一样
Of course, when it comes time for your precious toilet paper to enter your septic
当然了 在你买的厕纸被冲进化粪池
or municipal sewer system,
或者城市污水系统后
there’s often something a little extra coming along for the ride…
还有一些东西被顺了下来
It’s poop!
那就是便便
Luckily, NASA has a fake poop called FeClone,
幸运的是 NASA有一种名叫FeClone的假便便
designed to test astronaut facilities
用以测试宇航设备
that stands in for real turds
在宝洁的冲水实验中
as TP flies through the clear pipes of the P & G flush lab.
Feclone代替了测试产品上的真便便
But what if you need your fake poop to do more
但如果你不仅要在冲水实验中
than just flush like the real thing?
用到假便便呢
Wow ok, there’s no not gross way to say this:
好吧 找不到高雅的方式表达了
what if you also need it to smear like the real thing?
如果你需要它像真便便一样把马桶弄脏呢
P & G started using FeClone in 1994,
宝洁公司1994年开始使用FeClone
and for a while it was an all-purpose ersatz effluence.
在很长一段时间内 它都是便便的替代品
But it didn’t interact with skin the way real poop does
但它表面摸起来一点也不像真便便
it feels more like sticky clay.
反而更像黏土
In 2010, the company started working on an ” artificial BM ”
2010年 公司开始研发“人工BM”
that has the same surface energy,
它和真便便有一样的触感
fluid dynamics, and adhesion to skin as the real s***.
流动感 以及相同的粘附肌肤的感觉
The result is made of food-grade ingredients
因为它是由食品级成分制成的
and even comes in a variety of textures,
它还包含一系列的不同质地的产品
from diarrhea to constipation.
腹泻 便秘后拉的便便都有
It’s got everything but the smell.
除了气味 它具有真便便的所有特质
You might be wondering
你一定很好奇
why you’ve never seen this secret fake poop.
为什么从未见过这种神秘的人造便便
On television, companies use all sorts of blue (此处没听出来),
电视上 公司使用各种蓝色物质
and because it pops,
因为它的出现
and because it doesn’t resemble anything
而且它可能和你的便便
you might actually produce on the toilet
一点也不相像
to show off a paper’s wiping prowess
以此来炫耀厕纸的清洁力
The same people who design those wonderfully ridiculous experiments
同样的一群人还设计了这些荒谬的实验
to compare a brand to some nameless competitor
他们把一个品牌同一些不出名的竞争对手比较
have to decide to show you
以此来向你展示
that paper can wipe your poop real good
他们的厕纸清洁力更强
without actually showing you anything that looks like poop,
但不会向您展示任何类似便便的东西
because humans are ridiculous prudes.
因为人类都一副假惺惺的样子
The real poop by which I mean the fake poop
“真”便便 我指的是人造便便
shows up in 1-on-1 qualitative interviews
出现在研究员的一对一定性访谈中
where researchers probe potential consumers about their bathroom habits
来来调查潜在客户的如厕习惯
and observe them using the product.
并观察他们对产品的体验感
but not on their butts.
当然不是观察他们的屁股
They do this to take notes on wiping behavior and effectiveness.
他们这样做是为了记录擦拭的动作和效果
These questions are usually asked in private
这些问题通常是私底下问的
where subjects are presumably less likely to get so flustered
假定这些受访者不容易感到特别慌乱
that they totally forget how they wipe their butts
以至于完全忘记自己擦屁屁的方式
and also where they’re not being filmed by their peers.
当然他们也不会被同伴拍摄
INTERVIEWER: Thinking about bowel movements normal,
采访者:假设排便正常
how often do you think you would go
你会多久排一次便
in a day or given a week?
一天一次 还是一周一次
Do you have a routine
每次排便的时候
of when you go and have a bowel movement?
都会有固定的时间吗
How do you use your toilet paper
你是如何使用厕纸的呢
and how do you take it off the roll?
如何把厕纸撕下来的呢
Can you describe to me what
你能描述一下
your motions are when you’re wiping?
你擦试的动作吗
RACHEL: Um…the…
Rachel:额
In addition to the quantitative lab tests
除了实验室中的定量测试
and highly-trained sensory tester surveys,
以及训练良好的感官测试者调查
companies like P & G gather notes
像宝洁公司这样的企业
from these super personal one-on-one interviews
还会记录从一对一的私人采访中获取的信息
so that they can get as much data on toilet paper as possible.
这样他们就能得到足够多的厕纸数据
They’ve even done surveys focused on the visually impaired,
他们甚至还做了一些针对视觉障碍人群的调查
because people who can’t look down at paper to see
因为那些不能低头看使用后的厕纸是否干净的人
if it’s coming away clean are better able to articulate what a clean butt “ feels ” like…
能更清楚地表达屁屁擦干净后是怎样的“感觉”
I was not able to articulate this.
反正我是说不清楚的
INTERVIEWER: So how do you know when you’re clean?
你怎么知道自己擦干净了呢
RACHEL: Um, you just know.
额 你就是知道啊
So the next time you wipe your butt,
所以下次你擦屁屁的时候
think about all the trees, robot-powered experiments,
想想所有的树 机器人做的实验
embarrassing questionnaires, fake poop,
尴尬的问卷调查 人造便便
and hours of sensory testing
以及几个小时的感觉测试
that went into creating that plush roll.
都是为了制造这卷厕纸
Every sheet is the result of precious R&D and resources.
每一张厕纸都是研发心血和资源的结晶
Those plush, soft rolls that don’t use any recycled paper
比如那些不可回收的长毛绒柔软卷纸
You’re supposed to need fewer sheets to get the same job done.
你要做的是节约厕纸的用量
Just because you flush it doesn’t mean
你把它冲走了并不代表
you shouldn’t appreciate it
你可以不珍惜它
and buy and use it wisely.
或者不合理的购买和使用它
That’s part of what Charmin is trying to accomplish by conducting all of these tests.
这就是Charmin通过所有这些测试后 想要实现的目标
So if softness is important to you. we understand.
我们理解你对柔软厕纸的需求
but make sure you slow your roll accordingly.
但你也得保证厕纸的合理使用

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视频概述

有关厕纸的历史以及厕纸的研发之路,其中需要经过多少人和程序的测定,以及人造便便的使用和改良才能制造出为大众服务、让大众满意的完美厕纸~

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

刘小贵

审核员

审核员MS

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOUW28xUOeo

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