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遇到拒绝的惶恐 – 译学馆
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遇到拒绝的惶恐

The Terror of a 'No'

我们经常会麻烦别人 比如找工作
There are many things we want to ask of other people we want to ask for a job
比如为了钱再比如为了得到一个合作机会
For moneyA chance to collaborate a case
但通常 因害怕被拒绝我们选择闭口不谈
But generally we don’t ask because of the terror of a no
为什么’不’这样一个简单无害的词
Why should a no such a small and Innocuous word?
听到时却很痛苦很难过呢
Prove quite so painful so hard to hear so much something
宁愿死于无人知晓 碌碌无为的贫困中也不愿听到一个’不’字的想法 这是我们需要避免的
We need to avoid that we’d rather die in Penury ignored and unfulfilled than ever hear it
这是因为它不是一个不去听 不去想就能解决的问题
It’s because it’s not a case of trying not to hear and know
我们所逃避的就是不愿听到刺耳的’我们令人讨厌’
what we’re trying to do is avoid hearing something quite different that we are disgusting
每个人都有令人厌恶的一面
All of us have access to a disgusting self-image
真实的自我最有瑕疵最不堪最脆弱的一面
a repertoire of all the most broken flawed embarrassing and weak sides of who we are
这些方面一直都存在并且潜移默化着你
and it’s precisely this self image that is awoken and engaged
每当人们对我们说不时 我们都当做没听见
Whenever people say no to us. We’re not hearing no
我们宁愿听见你是一个傲慢无礼可笑至极 痴心妄想 像笨拙的池塘生物一样的存在
We’d be fine if we were we’re hearing you’re an arrogant laughable Jumped-up Delusional clumsy repulsive Pond life
难怪我们不愿意问
No wonder we get reluctant to ask
但事实上 其他人并不像我们安慰自己所想象的一样 他们无法猜测我们内心的感受
But in truth of course others are not remotely saying this to us. They can’t guess how we’re feeling inside
它不是写在我们的额头上 最重要的是它甚至都不真实
It’s not written on our forehead and most importantly it’s not even true
我们当然有一些棘手的一面 但是其他人也是如此 我们和其他人一样是好与坏的混合物
We’ve got some tricky sides of course, but so does everyone else. We’re a mixture of good and bad like everyone else
我们没事 我们值得存在
We’re okay, and we deserve to exist
即便别人说不
when people say no
人们说不的唯一原因是他们不会换位思考
They’re not thinking about us here is the only reason why people ever say no
我们需要把它挂在告示牌上 这样我们才会铭记在心
And we need this emblazoned on Billboard’s so we don’t forget it
人们说不的真正原因是我们的请求不符合他们的计划
The real reason people say no is that it doesn’t fit in with their plans
他们才不会去考虑你那愚蠢的行为
They’re not thinking about your stupidest deeds
你在学校的外号或者你熬夜是在忙什么?
The Nicknames people called you at school or of what you get up to late at night?
那是你的事 不是他们的 他们只关心自己的计划
That’s in your head, not theirs. They are just worried about their plans
我们正在失去一些可慰的见解
We’re losing out on some consoling insights
因为当我们拒绝别人时我们没有铭记当自己受到拒绝时的感受
because we’re failing to bring our own experience of what we felt when we said no to people
我们不是因为讨厌他们才说不 而是因为一个周而复始浅显的原因
We said no not because we hated them. We did it for an obvious now repeated reason
它不符合我们的计​​划
It didn’t fit in with our plans
但这才是试图询问别人的关键原因
But here’s the key reason to try asking
我们不知道别人的计划是怎样的
We just don’t know where people are with their plans
我们可以通过看我们自己的经历来确定这一点
And we can be sure of this by looking at our own experience when we think about it
理论上说 有相当多的事情只要别人询问我们
There are actually a surprising number of things that we would theoretically give other people we would theoretically give other people
出于许多令人惊讶的原因 我们大都是愿意的
if only they asked we would say yes at many surprising points.
如果有人向我们寻求钱 时间或是亲吻 我们将会给他
We’d be ready to give certain people money time kisses if they asked
但通常人们不会问 因为他们不了解我们
But usually people don’t ask because they don’t know where we are with our lives
我们从根本上也不了解别人的计划
All of us are fundamentally ignorant of other people’s plans
你不能真正分辨别人会拒绝或是答应
You just can’t really tell whether others might say yes or no
因为我们无从知道他们的计划和愿景
because we don’t have access to their projects and visions
我们试图克服因为不了解别人而走向悲观的困境
We’re attempting to overcome our lack of data of here closing in a pessimistic direction
但是我们应该通过简单的询问来了解得更多
But we should instead simply try to get more data by asking.
我们应该用好奇心来回应无知
We should respond to ignorance with curiosity
而不是不绝望
not despair
我们也应该记住 我们可以幸存下来并且能够感知到
We should remember too that we can survive and know
如果被拒绝那将会是一个大灾难
from a distance we feel it would be a catastrophe if it were a no
当这种感觉靠近时 我们应该三个小时内不去理会它
From close up, we can be sure we’d shrug it off in three hours
我们已经是小大人了
We’re big people now of course as small children
我们非常脆弱 也许在关键时刻 成年人才会明白
We were very vulnerable and perhaps adults that know to us at Key moments
那样很痛 所以我们不想再受伤
And it hurt and now we’re trying not to get hurt again
但是 后知后觉的我们才会意识到自己已经差不多六英尺高了
But the mind is slow to realize the time we’ve grown with perhaps six feet tall now
我们有了一个银行账户也许是一辆汽车 也许有了自己的孩子
We have a bank account perhaps a car. Maybe children of our own
也许你可以接受别人的拒绝 无论如何 保持沉默也会付出代价的
You can survivor no and in any case not asking is not cost-free
我们正在逃避被拒绝的痛苦
We’re avoiding the pain of rejection
但是 我们准备解决某些更加复杂的事物 只是缺乏机会
But we’re settling for something that is more insidious and just as troubling a lack of opportunity
不寻求一些事物的人生就暗示着你需要别的事物
Not asking life for something means implicitly asking it for something else
和一开始相似的情景 尤其感伤 因为人生苦短
Familiar from the outset and this is especially sad because life is so very short
我们真的应该害怕的不是一个’不’字 而是死亡
What we should really be scared of is not a no but of reaching our deathbeds
碌碌无为的死亡
unfulfilled
我们应该’问’
We should ask

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视频概述

每个人都有脆弱不堪的一面 我们害怕被拒绝 但人生苦短 我们应该学会去做出一些请求 哪怕是被拒绝

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Laina

审核员

【MR】Metro

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sswopsUW1mQ

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