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特权童年的秘密 – 译学馆
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特权童年的秘密

The Secrets of a Privileged Childhood

关于特权童年 我们会联想到
It isn’t difficult to imagine a privilegedchildhood: we associate the term with a swimming
花园里面的泳池
pool in the garden,
在国外的假期 奢华的礼物和特大的生日派对
holidays abroad, lavish presents and outsize birthday parties – and
上学期间 可能有人恭敬地从卧室地板上拾起衣服
maybe someone deferential picking up the clothes from the bedroom floor during school hours.
我们的想法明显聚焦在钱上面
Our ideas are plainly focused on money.© Tony Hoffarth
有足够多事实可以佐证这个观点 用以说服我们当中那些愤世嫉俗的人
The idea has enough truth in it to convince the cynical parts of us,
但是
but the number of
在中上阶级人群中 崩溃和受精神疾病折磨的人数
breakdowns and mental illnesses gnawing
多到足够
at the upper middle classes should be enough
让我们承认钱本身并不能
to force us to concede that money can not
成为优待的可靠保证
on its own be the reliable guarantor of ‘ privilege ’
把它想简单点 在某种程度上来说
that it would, in a way, be simpler to imagine it was.
真正的优待是一种情感现象
True privilege is an emotional phenomenon.
它包括接收爱的甘露
It involves receiving the nectar
在设施精良的大厦里 它可能极其缺失
of love – which can be stubbornly missing in the best equipped
而在朴素的平房里 它可能多得惊人
mansions and oddly abundant in the bare roomsof modest bungalows.
真正的优待是
It is true privilege
父母亲会在场参与孩子的想象世界
when a parent is on hand to enter imaginatively into a child ’ s world;
真正的优待是
when they have the
父母有能力将他们自己的需求暂时搁置一边
wherewithal to put their own needs aside for a time
而全身心地
in order to focus wholeheartedly on
关注子女的困惑与恐惧
the confusions and fears of their offspring;
真正的优待是父母不但理解
and when they are attuned not just to what
孩子努力说出的话语
a child actually manages to say but to
而且了解孩子们的志向所在 即使其难以叙述
what they might be aspiring yet struggling to explain.
优待是 父母让我们相信
It is privilege when a parent lends us a feeling
他们仅仅是因为我们的存在
that they are loyal to us simply on the basis
而不是因为
that we exist rather than because of anything
我们努力取得的成就而对我们忠诚
extraordinary we have managed to achieve,
优待是 他们给我们灌输
when they can imbue us with a sense that they
一种即使被世界所背叛 我们仍受他们支持的思想
will be on our side even if the world has turned
并且他们会教育我们
against us and can teach us that all
尽管存在失误与冲动 人类仍值得同情和理解
humans deserve compassion and understandingdespite their errors and compulsions.
优待是
It is
父母能够让我们远离
privilege when parents can shield us from the worst
最糟糕的焦虑和烦恼
of their anxiety and rage and the
以及充满冲突的成年生活
full conflicts of their adult lives;
优待是在多年后 父母可以尊重
when they can respect that it is many years before
孩子长大了 已经能够应对复杂生活的事实
a child is old enough to face the full complexity
优待是他们足够成熟
of existence – and when they are sufficiently
能够让我们慢慢成长
mature to let us grow up slowly.
优待是父母不会把他们自己塑造成
It is privilegewhen parents don’t set themselves up as
完美 疏远或不可信赖的
perfect or, by being remote and unavailable,
不会鼓励我们去理想化或者妖魔化他们
encourage us to idealise or demonise them.
优待是他们可以有点平凡 有点无趣
It is privilege when they can be ordinary and a little boring,
他们会邀请我们
can invite us to develop
在他们身边成长为一个男人或女人
into a man or a woman
他们知道如何让自己被替代
beside them – and can know how to let themselves be superseded.
优待是父母可以容忍
It is privilege when parents can bear our
我们的反叛并且不强迫我们
rebellions and don ’ t force us to be preternaturally
过分服从和友好
obedient or good, when they don ’ t crumple
优待是 即使我们试着叫他们老白痴
if we try out what it feels like to call them
他们也不会崩溃 优待是他们会试图解释
old idiots, and when they themselves reliably seek to explain,
而不是强加想法
rather than impose their ideas.
优待是他们会接受
It is privilege when they can accept
我们终将离开的事实
that we will eventually need to leave them and
而不是把我们的独立误解为背叛
not mistake our independence for betrayal.
以上所有这些举措 都属于真正意义上的优待
All of these moves belong to privilege sincerely understood,
目前 它们几乎
and they are, at present,
和巨额财富一样稀有 但在关键时候上它们更重要
about as rare as huge wealth, but at points more crucial.
正是那些享受了
It is those who have enjoyed years
很多年情感优待的人
of emotional privilege that deserve to be
才值得被视为真正的百分之一
counted among the true one per cent.
自然的 当我们遇到
It canbe natural, when we meet with any sort of
任何一种被极度不公平分配了的特权的时候
privilege that has been deeply and unfairly distributed,
我们会寻求公平竞争
to seek to level the playing field.
但是它不会是特权的重新分配
But it can ’ t be a redistribution
这里需要的是
of privilege that is required here, rather
普遍发展 以及最低限度的保障
a universal increase – and the assuranceof a decent minimum.
一个真正公平的社会
A truly fair society
将是一个
would be one in which a yearly rise
把年度情感优待程度的逐年提升
in the degree of emotional privilege in circulation
作为国家优先事项的社会 在那里
would became a national priority – and where an abundance
丰富的爱 关怀 以及联系
of love, concern, and connection
得到充分研究
was adequately studied,
并且作为真正的财富被鼓励和珍视
encouraged and prized as the true ‘ wealth ’ it is.
《做父母的忧与乐》围绕世界上最费力
The Joys and Sorrows of Parenting promises us a gentle
但非常充实的工作提供了一个
way of staying calm around one of the most arduous
保持冷静的方法
yet deeply fulfilling jobs in the world.
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特权童年的秘密,探讨真正的特权是什么

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