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如何用正向的语言给予反馈 – 译学馆
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如何用正向的语言给予反馈

The secret to giving great feedback | The Way We Work, a TED series

Transcriber: TED Translators admin
听录员:TED翻译管理员
TED:值得传播的想法
If you look at a carpenter, they have a toolbox;
木匠 有自己的专属工具箱
a dentist, they have their drills.
牙医 有标志性的牙科钻头
In our era and
在这个时代
the type of work most of us are doing,
并且在大多数人的工作类型中
the tool we most need is actually centered
最重要的能力实际上体现在
around being able to give and receive feedback well.
能够恰当的接受并给予反馈上
[The Way We Work]
[我们的工作方式]
由Dropbox赞助播出
Humans have been talking about feedback for centuries.
几个世纪以来 人们一直谈论着“反馈”
In fact, Confucius, way back in 500 BC,
事实上 孔子早在公元前500年以前
talked about
就已经谈论过
how important it is to be able to say difficult messages well.
能够将复杂信息很好地说出来有多重要
But to be honest, we’re still pretty bad at it.
但老实说 我们做得还是挺糟的
In fact, a recent Gallup survey found
事实上 最近盖洛普公司的一项调查发现
that only 26 percent of employees strongly agree
仅仅有26%的员工强烈地认同
that the feedback they get actually improves their work.
他们得到的反馈是有助于工作的
Those numbers are pretty dismal.
这个数字少得可怜
So what’s going on?
到底是怎么回事儿呢?
The way that most people give their feedback
事实上 人们给出他们反馈的方式
actually isn’t brain-friendly.
大多数是对大脑不友好的
People fall into one of two camps.
人们可以被分为两个阵营
Either they’re of the camp that
在其中一个阵营
is very indirect and soft
他们的反馈是很不直接且温和的
and the brain doesn’t even recognize that feedback is being given
以至于大脑并没有意识到 或是仅仅觉得困惑
or it’s just simply confused,
虽然已经给出了反馈
or they fall into the other camp of being too direct,
在另一个阵营中 他们的反馈太过直接
and with that, it tips the other person into the land of being defensive.
以至于大脑使另一个人进入防御状态
There’s this part of the brain called the amygdala,
这部分大脑叫做杏仁核
and it’s scanning at all times to figure out
它始终在进行扫描以弄清
whether the message has a social threat attached to it.
这个信息是否附有社交威胁
With that, we’ll move forward to defensiveness,
使得我们更趋向于进入防御状态
we’ll move backwards in retreat,
于是我们会本能地后退
and what happens is the feedback giver then starts to disregulate as well.
这会导致给出反馈的人也开始失去控制
They add more ums and ahs and justifications,
他们频繁使用“嗯” “啊”并且辩解
and the whole thing gets wonky really fast.
于是整段对话就很快无法进行下去了
It doesn’t have to be this way.
他们本不必如此
I and my team have spent many years
我和我的团队花了很多年的时间
going into different companies
进入不同的公司
and asking who here is a great feedback giver.
并且找到公司里的优秀反馈给予者
Anybody who’s named again and again,
那些被不断提及的人
we actually bring into our labs
我们就把他们带到实验室里
to see what they’re doing differently.
来研究他们哪里做的不同
And what we find is that there’s a four-part formula
于是我们发现你可以使用一个4步公式
that you can use to say any difficult message well.
来很好地讲出任何复杂的信息
OK, are you ready for it? Here we go.
好的 你准备好了吗? 我们开始吧
The first part of the formula is what we call the micro-yes.
这个公式的第一部分 我们称之为“微肯定”
Great feedback givers begin their feedback
优秀的反馈给予者
by asking a question
通过询问简短却重要的问题
that is short but important.
来进行他们的反馈
It lets the brain know that feedback is actually coming.
这些问题使大脑意识到反馈即将到来
It would be something, for example, like,
这种问题可以是
“Do you have five minutes to talk about
“你是否有五分钟的时间来谈论
how that last conversation went”
上一次对话进行得如何?”
or “I have some ideas for how we can improve things.
或是“我有一些关于优化工作的想法
Can I share them with you?”
我可以说给你听吗?”
This micro-yes question does two things for you.
这种“微肯定”问题有两个作用
First of all, it’s going to be a pacing tool.
首先 它会是一种定位工具
It lets the other person know that feedback is about to be given.
它让另一个人知道反馈要来了
And the second thing it does is it creates a moment of buy-in.
第二个作用是 它为融入话题创造了机会
I can say yes or no
对于这个是与否的问题
to that yes or no question.
我既可以回答是也可以回答否
And with that, I get a feeling of autonomy.
这样我就有了一种自主的感觉
The second part of the feedback formula is going to be giving your data point.
反馈公式的第二部分是给出你的数据支持
Here, you should name specifically what you saw or heard,
这里 你要具体说出所看到或听到的内容
and cut out any words that aren’t objective.
摒弃所有的主观词汇
There’s a concept we call blur words.
我们把这个概念称作模糊词
A blur word is something that can mean different things to different people.
模糊词是指对不同人群有着不同含义的事物
Blur words are things that are not specific.
模糊词是不具体的
So for example, if I say “You shouldn’t be so defensive”
例如 如果我说“你不应该如此保守”
or “You could be more proactive.”
或是“你应该更积极主动”
What we see great feedback givers
我们看到 优秀的反馈给予者
doing differently
所做的不同之处在于
is they’ll convert their blur words into actual data points.
他们会把模糊词转化成真实的数据
So for example, instead of saying,
所以比如 他们不会说
“You know you aren’t reliable,”
“你真靠不住啊”
we would say, “You said you’d get that email to me by 11,
而是会说“你答应11点前给我发邮件
and I still don’t have it yet.”
然而我现在还没收到”
Specificity is also important
当给出正面反馈时
when it comes to positive feedback,
精准度也是很重要的
and the reason for that is that we want to be able to specify exactly
这是因为我们希望能够指明
what we want the other person to increase or diminish.
我们要求另一个人提升或是减少的地方
And if we stick with blur words,
而如果我们坚持使用模糊词的话
they actually won’t have any clue particularly
他们就不会得到任何提示
what to do going forward to keep repeating that behavior.
尤其是下一步该怎么做 来重复那种行为
The third part of the feedback formula is the impact statement.
反馈公式的第三部分是”影响陈述”
Here, you name exactly how that data point impacted you.
这里 你要确切地说明数据点是如何影响你的
So, for example, I might say, “Because I didn’t get the message,
例如我可能会说 “因为我没有收到那条短信
I was blocked on my work and couldn’t move forward”
所以我的工作受到影响 不能正常进行”
or “I really liked how you added those stories,
或是“我真的很喜欢你加上的那些故事
because it helped me grasp the concepts faster.”
因为他们帮我更快地掌握了这些概念”
It gives you a sense of purpose
它给了你一种目的感
and meaning and logic between the points,
以及不同点之间的意义和逻辑
which is something the brain really craves.
这些是大脑所渴望得到的
The fourth part of the feedback formula
反馈公式的第四点是
is a question.
一个问题
Great feedback givers wrap their
优秀的反馈给予者把他们的反馈信息
feedback message with a question.
藏在问题中
They’ll ask something like,
他们会问一些 像是
“Well, how do you see it?”
“那你如何看待这件事?”
Or “This is what I’m thinking we should do,
或是“这是我认为我们应该做的
but what are your thoughts on it?”
那么你对这件事怎么想?”
What it does is it creates commitment rather than just compliance.
它把服从变为了承诺
It makes the conversation no longer be a monologue,
它使对话不再是单人独白
but rather becomes a joint problem-solving situation.
而变成了共同解决问题的情形
But there’s one last thing.
但还有最后一件事
Great feedback givers not only can
优秀的反馈给予者不仅仅可以
say messages well,
把信息很好地说出来
but also, they ask for feedback regularly.
而且他们经常地寻求反馈
In fact, our research on perceived leadership
事实上 我们关于领导力的研究中显示
shows that you shouldn’t wait for feedback to be given to you —
你不该坐等你的反馈给到你
what we call push feedback —
也就是我们所说的”被动型反馈”
but rather, you should actively ask for feedback,
准确地说 你应该主动地寻求反馈
what we call pulling feedback.
也就是我们所说的”主动型反馈”
Pulling feedback establishes you as a continual learner
“主动型反馈”把你打造成一个持续的学习者
and puts the power in your hands.
并使你手中握有力量
The most challenging situations
事实上 最具有挑战性是人
are actually the ones that call for the most skillful feedback.
最有技巧性反馈的人
But it doesn’t have to be hard.
但那并是不可能做到的
Now that you know this four-part formula,
因为现在你已经知道了这个“四步公式”
you can mix and match it
你可以对其进行混合和匹配
to make it work for any difficult conversation.
应用于开启任何一段困难的对话

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视频概述

在工作生活中 如何给人正向的反馈? 你有没有听说过“四步法则”? 一起来看看本期视频吧

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Karasu

审核员

审核员SX

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtl5UrrgU8c

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