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男人最怕听到的问题

The One Question Men Fear

因此 几天前 我高兴地跑到我男朋友身边 问他…
So, the other day I skipped merrily up to my boyfriend and I asked him…
嘿 宝贝 有没有感觉有什么不一样?
– Hey babe, do you notice anything different?
啊 啊 啊 啊
– Aaaaa…

is

it
你的……
your…
呼! 跳动的阴道
Hua! Dancing vagina.
嗯嗯哈哈哈哈…[邪恶诡异的大笑]
– Mhyhy, hahaha… [ominous laugh]
这太有趣了 我意思是它其实并不有趣 但是以某种情况来说又很有趣
And it was so funny, I mean it wasn’t funny but it was kinda’ funny
因为每一次我问他
Because everytime I ask:
你注意到有什么不同吗?
– Do you notice anything different?
我的男朋友听到的大概是这样:
It’s like my partner hears:
是什么一直在跑却不会走?
“What always runs but never walks?
经常低语却不讲话?
Often murmurs but never talks?
有张床却从不睡觉?
Has a bed but never sleeps?
有嘴却从不吃饭?
Has a mouth but never eats?”
嗯……
Um…
(低声嘀咕)
[whispers]
啊啊啊…
Haa…
答案是河!
It’s a river!
好了
OK.
没有动却受伤了 没有触碰却可以下毒
“We hurt without moving. We poison without touching.
我们忍受着真理和谎言 我们不会因自身的体型被人评判
We bear the truth, and the lies. We are not to be judged by our size.
我们是谁?
What are we?
啊……
Aaaaaa…
哦 天啊 让我想一下 让我想一下……
Oh god, think, think, think…
单词!答案是单词!
Words! It’s words!
注意到不同了吗?
“Notice anything different?”
嗯……
Um…
啊…
Aah.
是…
Is it…
[沉重的呼吸]
[breaths heavily]
…你的…
…your…
…头发?
…hair?
错误!
WRONG!
现在你会付出生命的代价!
AND NOW YOU WILL PAY WITH YOUR LIFE!
但是我忍不住,你知道的……
But I can’t help it, you know…
就比如 如果我做了什么 我总想让你们注意到
like if I do something I wanna know if you’ve noticed it.
我并不想让你们难堪
And it’s not like I’m trying to trap you.
但是我确实想考验一下你
But I am trying to test you.
(动态音乐,时钟的嘀嗒声)
[dynamic music, clock ticking]
(时间到)
[alarm clock]
没有,一点都没变!
NOTHING! NOTHING CHANGED AT ALL!
等等,你骗我!
Wait, you tricked me!
是什么有眼睛却什么都看不到?
What has eyes but cannot see?
不!
Noooo!
一个成年人不是小孩!
A grown man but a baby!
不要啊!
Don’t do this!
你一点也不了解我…
You don’t know me at all…
哦不 宝贝! 不!
Oh no, babe! No!
但我不知道 可能这就是男女情侣之间正常的事罢了 对吧?
But I don’t know, maybe this is like a really heteronormative thing, right?
或者 我不知道 如果我是个男同性恋是不是就不会这样了?
Like, I don’t know. If I was a gay man would I be able to get away with this?
嘿宝贝 注意到有什么不一样吗?
– Hey babe, notice anything different?
你的头发留了中分 眼睛的风格从霍尔克姆变为里普利 修了眉 真的与你的猫眼很搭配
– You moved your hair part to the center, changed your glasses from holcomb to ripley, microbladed your ‘brows, really got good at that cat-eye.
现在正在积极地努力变得时尚
And are now making a more conscious effort to be fashionable.
你真棒!
And you’re killin’ it.
哦 我的天哪! 我的宝……贝!
– Oh my god! Baaaaaabe!
我爱你
I love you.
我也爱你!
– Love you too!
上面的我很典型吗?
Or is that stereotypical of me?
我不知道
I don’t know
就好像 我想成为一个更加偏向同性恋的人 但是那不是我的经历 所以我没必要代表他们
>>Like I want to be more LGBTQ+ inclusive but that’s not my expirience so I can’t necessarily speak on their behalf
所以知道了逃脱是一个纯粹的小女孩的冥想显然是基于
so know that that cutaway was a straight girls simple musings on what is obviously
这个视频中的”你注意到有什么不同”这部分一个更复杂和三维的同性恋关系
a more complex and three dimensional homosexual relationship in the context of this videos explorations of “do you notice anything different”.<<
说完了
Huh, disclaimer out.
但是你呢?也许你问你的伴侣这个问题也没什么大不了的
But what about you? Maybe you ask your partner this question and it’s no big deal.
他们甚至不做任何反应
And they don’t even react that way at all.
你注意到有什么不同吗?
– Do you notice anything different?
没有啊 你做什么了?
– No, what’d you do?
哦 我修了眉
– Oh, I got my eyebrows done.
哦 酷 想看电视吗?
– Oh, cool. Do you wanna watch TV?
可能不会因为没有猜对而害怕 他们伤心而是因为没有尽早看出来
Maybe instead of the fear of not getting it right, they’re sad that they didn’t get it sooner?
哦 我天! 你在说什么? 很明显你做了头发啊!
Oh my god! What are you saying? Of course you got your hair done!
我本该立马看到的 这意味着什么?
I should have seen that right away. What does it mean?
这意味着我们不再爱对方了?但是我想你是我的全部啊
Does it mean we’re not in love anymore? But I thought you were the love of my life.
我枉为人啊
I failed as a human being.
就我来说 我什么都能注意到
Personally, I notice everything.
所有
EVERYTHING
嘿宝贝 你注意到有什么不同吗?
– Hey babe, do you notice anything different?
是啊 你现在是只巨大的猫
– Ya, you’re giant cat now.
唉 你什么也说不出来
– Uh. Can’t get anything past you.
哦……
Oh man…
我是安娜 阿卡娜
I’m Anna Akana.
暂停在这里 插播条赞助商的信息 我写了个谜语 真的很难 但是我做到了
Stay… right here for a sponsored message that I wrote in a riddle and it was really hard but I did it.
也许在那之后我掉进了一个水池 谁知道呢
And maybe I fell into a pool after it, who knows?
如果你留下来你才会知道
Only you will know if you stay.
或者你可以快进
Or you could scroll sooner
我不能控制 不能控制你
I can’t control, can’t control you.
谁赞助今天的插曲……
Who sponsored today’s episode…
提供新闻 喜剧和有声书籍……?
And offers news, comedy, and books in audio…?
当你眼睛和手已经充实的时候 却还想要
When your eyes and hands are full, yet wanting
在路上和洗衣服时听有声书
To listen and learn in traffic or laundry-ing
谁可以在任何地方探求智者的恐惧?
Who can explore the Wise Man’s Fear anywhere?
和其他在书籍上无与伦比的选择 如果你敢的话
And other unmatched selections of books… if you dare
谁提供它们免费30天的服务 为了你可以尝试他们的有声方式……
Who offers their service for a FREE 30 days. So you can try out their Audible ways…
Audible.com/Anna
Audible.com/Anna
那是Audible.com/Anna
That’s Audible.com/Anna
打败恶魔最好的方式就是让它们沉迷在知识里
The best way to defeat a troll is to immerse them in knowledge.
我的水瓶去哪里了?
Where did my water bottle go?
哦 在这
Oh, it’s here.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyVqzkOQb2U

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