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什么是非暴力沟通模式?

The Non-Violent Communication Model

There are two styles of communication,
沟通风格可分两种
violent and nonviolent and a whole spectrum in between.
暴力和非暴力 以及介于两者之间的范围
Violent communication is coercive, manipulative and it hurts.
暴力沟通具有胁迫性 操控性和伤害性
It includes making generalizations and a use of language that induces fear,shame or guilt.
会以偏概全 言语会引发恐惧 羞愧或内疚
It is often ineffective
它通常是无效的
since it diverts our attention away from clarifying our actual needs
因为这会转移注意 无法阐明我们的实际需求
and distracts us from solving the actual conflict.
让我们无法集中精力解决实际矛盾
Nonviolent Communication is based on the idea
非暴力沟通基于以下观点
that we all share universal human desires,
我们都有人类普遍的需求
such as the need of trust, safety, and appreciation.
如对信任 安全和获得赞扬的需要
It allows us to empathize and think clearly.
这让我们能够感同身受 清晰思考
And as a result, reach a better and more honest understanding of each other.
因此更好更诚实地理解彼此
Nonviolent Communication follows 4 steps
非暴力沟通遵循四个步骤
observation,feeling,needs and requests.
观察 感受 需要 请求
To understand how it works,
为了理解它如何产生效果
let’s imagine a college student being late for class.
我们想象一个大学生上课迟到的场景
Old Jay, her former teacher,would usually have just said
她之前的老师Jay通常会说
“and here she comes again, late Ann.”
“她又来啦 迟到的Ann”
In class he then would give her a hard time
在课堂上他不会让她好过
and after as his form of punishment, a bunch of senseless assignments.
然后作为惩罚 他会给她一堆毫无意义的任务
Then, both would often feel bad for the rest of the day.
接下来 双方都会一整天闷闷不乐
New Jay, who’s her current teacher, learned about nonviolent communication
作为她现在的新老师 Jay 学过非暴力沟通
and knows that it begins with a clear observation.
知道要先仔细观察
During observation he tries noticing concrete facts
在观察中他尝试注意具体事实
things that happen at that very moment.
也就是在那一刻发生的事
New Jay jots down that Ann arrived 20 minutes late
Jay会记下Ann迟到二十分钟
and that his pulse is up, possibly a sign of stress
他的心跳加快了 这可能是焦虑的标志
When focusing on his feelings, New Jay connects with his heart
当关注到他的感受时 Jay回归本心
and can learn to understand various underlying emotions.
学着理解多样的深层情绪
This is important because what seems to be anger,might in fact be sadness.
这很重要 因为看似愤怒 或许实为悲伤
During this step it is essential to distinguish feelings from thoughts.
这一步最重要的是区分感受和想法
After class, New Jay shares his observation and explains to Ann
课后 Jay把他的观察分享给Ann并解释道
that he feels disrespected when someone is late for his class.
有人在他的课上迟到时 他感到不被尊重
Knowing his needs is important
知道他的需求是很重要的
because it allows him to enrich his life, and feel at peace.
因为这让他能够丰富自己的生活 宁静祥和
If we disregard our needs
如果我们无视自己的需求
or don’t live up to our values,
或者没有践行我们的价值观
we experience stress and frustration.
我们会经历压力和挫折
Understanding that we all have universal human needs
理解我们都有人类的普遍需要
is perhaps the most important step in the process.
可能是这个过程中最重要的一步
New Jay tells Ann that they should find a way
Jay告诉Ann 他们应该找到一个方法
to respect each other’s values and desires.
来尊重彼此的价值观和期望
Lastly there is the Request
最后一步是请求
which clarifies what future New Jay wants for himself and this relationship.
这会阐明Jay自己往后的需求与人际关系
Clear requests are hence crucial to a transformative communication.
因此 明确的请求对变革性沟通至关重要
When we ask for concrete actions,
当我们要求具体行动时
we often find creative ways
我们经常会找到新奇的方式
to ensure that everyone’needs are met
来确保满足每个人的需要
New Jay asks Ann not to come to class at all,
Jay告诉Ann如果她迟到超过一分钟
if she happens to run later more than 1 minute
就不要急着进教室了
Marshall Rosenberg, who developed the model,
创立这个模式的马歇尔·卢森堡
like to show the differences
喜欢展示两种
between the communication styles with two animals.
动物沟通方式的差异
The Jackal was a symbol of aggression,
豺狼是攻击
dominance and violent communication.
支配和暴力沟通的象征
The Giraffe with his long neck and big heart
有着长脖子和大心脏的长颈鹿
represents a clear-sighted and compassionate speaker
代表一个富有远见和同情心的说话者
and nonviolent communication style.
有着非暴力沟通方式
“All violence”, Rosenberg wrote,
“所有的暴力” 卢森堡写道
“is the result of people tricking themselves into believing
“在于人们欺骗自己认为
that their pain derives from other people
他们的痛苦都来自别人
and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.”
因此那些人应该受到惩罚”
What are your thoughts on this model?
你对这个模式的想法是什么?
Share your thoughts in the comment below,
在下方评论区分享你的观点吧
and check the description for more details,
你可以在简介查看更多详细说明
and interesting links about the topic.
以及关于这个话题的有趣链接
This and all other Sprouts’ videos are licensed under the Creative Commons.
铅绘心理的视频都是在知识共享下授权的
That means teachers from all around the world
这意味着全世界的老师
can use them in classrooms, online courses or to start projects
可用于教室 网络课堂播放或专题研究
and today, thousands already do!
现在有几千人正在这么做!
To learn how it works and download this video without Ads or background music,
要深入了解并下载没有广告和背景音乐的视频
checkout our website or read the description below.
请点击我们的网站或阅读下方简介
If you want to support our mission and help change education
如果你想支持我们并帮助改变教育
visit our Patreon
请访问我们的Patreon
that’s patreon.com/sprouts.
地址是patreon.com/sprouts

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视频概述

有两种沟通方式。一种沟通是强制性的、操纵性的、伤害性的。另一种沟通是诚实的、尊重的和富有同情心的。 马歇尔·卢森堡为非暴力沟通开发了一个模型,他喜欢用两只动物来展示风格之间的差异。豺狼是侵略,统治和暴力沟通的象征。长颈鹿有着长脖子和大心脏,它代表着一个清醒、富有同情心、非暴力的沟通者。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

梦游爱丽丝

审核员

审核员GURU

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INdKgBPEI-8

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