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展现弱点的重要性 – 译学馆
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The Importance of Vulnerability

我们都可能会遇到这些情况 如果被苛刻冷漠的批评
There are aspects to all of us that, if they were exposed to a harsh or unsympathetic critic,
会带来深深的屈辱感和难听的嘲讽 从近处观察 我们没有人能令人钦佩
would result in severe humiliation and mockery. From close up, we are, none of us, reliably
不受影响 我们变得焦虑 易怒 脾气暴躁 恐慌 在重压之下
impressive. We get agitated, fretful, cantankerous and panicky. Under the pressure of events,
大喊 摔门 尖叫(或者哀嚎) 无可救药地笨手笨脚
we shout, slam doors and let out screams (or wails). We have episodes of absurd clumsiness,
撞到门上 绊倒 把东西掉到身上 无时无刻都在担心
we bump into doors, trip and drop things down our front. We’re worried pretty much all the
别人如何看待自己 事业的发展和所有
time: about how others see us, about where our careers are going, and about everything
重要的事情 我们忘记了生命中应该做的那些事 渴望爱情 却又心不在焉
important that we have forgotten to do in our lives. We long for love, but are unthinking
对身边的人无感 我们小心翼翼吸引异性
and insensitive around those close to us. We are gauche in our efforts to seduce and
得到的关注却少得可怜 我们的身体有很多羞耻的习惯和
pitiful in our requests for attention. Our bodies have a range of shameful habits and
弱点 从特定角度来看 人类真的是很尴尬的主体
vulnerabilities. We are, from certain angles, truly embarrassing propositions.
我们努力隐藏自己的一部分 内心中那个傻瓜的自我遭受到严密监视 被无情地堵住嘴
All this we struggle to hide. The inner idiot is carefully monitored and ruthlessly gagged.
我们从早些年吸取教训 对于自身弱点 最应该做的就是
We have learnt from our earliest years that the only priority around vulnerability is
完全伪装它们 我们不懈地努力 让自己看上去很镇定 抹掉
to disguise it completely. We strive remorselessly to look composed, to erase the evidence of
懦弱的证据 尽力表现的比真实的自己更正常
our silliness and to try to appear a great deal more ‘normal’ than we know we are.
可以理解 我们会关心弱点的消极性
We are understandably very focused on the downsides of vulnerability. What is far less
不过 弱点有时也能变成意义重大的优势 这一点却没有被充分意识到
well-recognised is vulnerability’s occasional very significant and profound upsides.
有些时候 显现弱点不一定带来的就是场大灾难
There are moments when the revelation of weakness, far from being a catastrophe, is the only
而可能是唯一的方式与他人心灵相通 表示尊重下定决心 即使不习惯坦白 也要敢于解释
possible route to connection and respect. At points we may dare to explain, with rare
我们很害怕 有时候自己太坏 做了不少愚蠢的事儿
frankness, that we are afraid, that we are sometimes bad and that we have done many silly
这样坦白的结果是 同伴并没有被吓到 反而使我们之间的关系更加亲密
things. And rather than appalling our companions, these revelations may serve to endear us to
我们在朋友们的眼中更人性化 让他们觉得在别人身上也能看到与自己相同的弱点
them, humanising us in their eyes, and letting them feel that their own vulnerabilities have
echoes in the lives of others. Together, we realise that the definition of what is normal
遗漏了一个关键因素 就是彼此的现实
has missed out on key aspects of our mutual reality.
换句话说 弱点是友谊之基 建立友谊
In other words, vulnerability can be a bedrock of friendship, friendship properly understood
不能被理解为欣赏的过程 而是当麻烦发生时 互相同情与彼此安慰
not just, or primarily, as a process of admiration but as an exchange of sympathy and consolation
当然 也有不成功的处理弱点的方式
for the troublesome business of being alive. There can, of course, be unfortunate ways
of handling vulnerability: when we do so in the form of an aggressive demand that others
拯救我们或者脆弱的毫无底线表现得怒气冲冲 歇斯底里
rescue us, or when our frailties lack boundaries, or when we are close to rage and hysteria
看不出半点儿忧郁和悲伤 真正的弱点不是期望
rather than melancholy and grief. Good vulnerability doesn’t expect another
别人帮我们解决它 而是展示给别人自己难堪的一面
person to solve our difficulties; we let them see a tricky part of who we are, simply in
希望他们能有信心 让自己自在一点 不必非得表现得端庄
the hope that they will be emboldened to feel more at ease with their own, less dignified
好的弱点都很慷慨 它首先被揭露出来
sides. Good vulnerability is fundamentally generous: it takes the first step at disclosure
使别人能感到安全地放下包袱 然后展现他们隐藏自己的那部分
so as to render it safe for others to unburden themselves and disclose something of their
hidden selves in turn. It is a gift in the form of a risk taken for somebody else.
另外 展现弱点是标榜自我的独辟蹊径
Furthermore, displays of vulnerability have a curious way of signalling that we are, despite
尴尬的开诚布公 远胜于滑稽出彩或者博取同情 我们足够坚强去
the embarrassing avowals, far from fundamentally ridiculous or pitiful. We are, rather, strong
展现弱点 别再隐藏愚蠢白痴的一面了 尽情宣泄怒火 排遣忧伤
enough to be weak; to let our silliness, our idiocy, our anger and our sadness show, confident
要知道所有这些都不是评判我们的最终裁定 我们大胆的继续前行
that these do not have to be the final verdicts on who we are. We proceed with a bold sense
尽管缺乏表面证据 但不论每个人最后是受伤还是受委屈
that despite the lack of surface evidence, everyone is in the end as wounded, aggrieved,
心力交瘁还是情感受损 都不会因为展现自我而被永远抛弃
worried and damaged as we are and that we are not therefore, through our disclosures,
casting ourselves out of the clan for good: we are simply reconfirming our essential membership
of the human race. It is something of a minor tragedy that we
我们把大部分时间花在隐藏弱点上 却没想到真正的友谊和爱却只有
should spend so much of our lives striving to hide our weakness when it is in fact only
upon the dignified sharing of vulnerability that true friendship and love
can arise.
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与其穷尽一生隐藏弱点 孤独的伪完美,不如展现弱点,与朋友爱人互相同情与安慰。