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悲伤却迷人的那几年 – 译学馆
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悲伤却迷人的那几年

The Importance of an Unhappy Adolescence

没人对“不开心”情有独钟吧
Being unhappy is never wholly to be recommended,
但在某一人生阶段 不开心是合理的
but if there is any period of life in which the mood may be justified
并且从某种方面来说是重要的
and in certain ways judged important,
这个阶段大概在13~20岁之间
then it is roughly between the ages of 13 and 20.
如果一个人没有在13~20岁这个年龄段
It is hard to imagine going on to have a successful
成为那些痛苦纠结和躁动不安的受益者
or even somewhat contented next six decades
那么在接下来的六十年里
if one has not been the beneficiary of a good deal of agonizing introspection
你很难想象他的生活能成功而满足
and intense dislocation in this period.
青少年时期的痛苦和愤怒来自
At the root of adolescent sorrow and rage is
你认识到世事更艰难 荒谬 难以满足
the recognition that life is hugely harder,
这让你的观念有了前所未有的动摇
more absurd and less fulfilling than one could ever hitherto have suspected –
让你对成人世界里的善良美好产生了怀疑
or had been led to suppose by kindly representatives of the adult world.
童年时的情感保护渐渐消失
The sentimental protectionof childhood falls away –
接踵而来的是强烈的恶意
and a range of searingly malevolent
深重的现实打击
but profoundly important realisations strike.
首先 个体认识到:没人懂我
For a start, one recognises that no one understands.
这个想法并非完全正确
That isn’t quite true,
当然了 人性越复杂
but of course, the more complicated any human being is,
就越不容易迅速容易地被理解
the less likely they are to be easily and immediately understood.
因此 当一个孩子长大成人
Therefore, as a child develops into an adult,
身边那些准确理解他们
the chances of those around them exactly sympathizing with
准确把握他们内心世界的人
and swiftly grasping their inner condition
必然会迅速减少
necessarily decreases sharply.
青少年的第一反应是自己倒霉地被诅咒了
The first response of the teenager is to think themselves uniquely cursed.
但是一个较为准确的反驳是
But the better eventual insight is
与他人的正常沟通竟然也减少了
that true connection with another person is possible yet astonishingly rare.
这会给一个人带来很多重要的改变
This leads one to a number of important moves.
第一 向那些理解自己的人
Firstly, to a heightened and more appropriate gratitude
表达明显而得体的感谢
towards anyone who does understand.
第二 更努力地使别人了解自己
Secondly, to greater efforts to make oneself understood.
青春初期的沉郁哀怨
The sullen grunts of early adolescence
会通过大量的诗词 日记 歌曲等
can give way to the enormous eloquence of the poetry, diaries and songs
得到宣泄
of later teenage-hood.
因为作者身边没有倾诉的人
The most beautiful pieces of communication humanity
所以大量的美好的沟通人性的作品
has ever produced have largely been the work of people who couldn’t find anyone
相继诞生
in the vicinity they could talk to.
第三
And lastly,
尽管这种观念曾有严重弊病
the sense that one is different from other people,
但人与人之间的差异性
though it may be searingly problematic at the time,
确实代表了一个很关键的时刻:
represents a critical moment
新一代开始探索
when a new generation starts to probe at
并选择性地改进现有的秩序
and selectively improve upon the existing order.
假如你十六岁时 发现一切都很完美
To be 16 and find everything perfect as it is
那你将陷入严重的心理营养不良
would be a terrifyingly sterile position to adopt.
避免被世界的愚蠢 错误 邪恶同化
A refusal to accept the folly, error and evil of the world is
是未来有所成就的前提
a precondition of later achievement.
如果一个人不择手段地想成为人生赢家
There really seems no alternative but to be miserable in mid-adolescence
那他的青春期可能很悲惨
if one is to stand any chance of making a go of the rest of one’s life.
青春期另一个重要特征是
Another key realization of adolescence is that
孩子讨厌父母
one hates one’s parents.
如果青春期的孩子能转身大声告诉父母:
Yet it is truly an enormous tribute to the love and care of parents
我讨厌你们
if their teenage children
这事实上是对父母的爱与关心的偌大奖赏
turn around and tell them at the top of their voice that they loathe them.
这不是事情出差错的标志
It isn’t a sign that something has gone wrong,
这是孩子知道自己被爱着的证明
it’s evidence that the child knows they are loved.
真正烦恼的少年不是那些
The really worrying teenagers aren’t those
在父母面前举止失礼的孩子
who misbehave around theirparents
随便展露不良情绪的孩子
and take out their random misery on them,
而是那些担心自己不被喜爱的孩子
it’s those who are so worried about not being loved,
他们甚至诚惶诚恐地害怕做错事
they can’t afford to put a foot wrong.
要对他人形成真正的信任
To develop proper trust in other human beings,
要能够经得起一些考验
it can be deeply important to be able to test a few examples,
发生了你能想到的最糟糕的事情
to tell them the very worst things one can think of,
之后辗转良久 然后原谅他
and then watch them stick around and forgive one.
你得经历几次心碎后
You have to have few gos at breaking love
仍能相信爱情能坚固
to believe it can be solid.
当然了
And, of course,
父母们在许多方面可能真的让你烦恼
one’s parents really are rather annoying in many ways.
但是 这同样也是很重要的一个发现
But that too is an importantrealization.
如果我们在十四五岁时
We would never leave home and become parents ourselves
不能从父母的问题 错误 缺点中
if we weren’t at some level compensating for
汲取一定的教训
the problems, mistakes and vices we had
那我们自己就不会长大 不会成为好的父母
first identified in our own parents at fourteen and a half.
青少年痛苦的另一个来源是
Another source of teenage sorrow is
繁多的问题突然充斥于心
how many big questions suddenly fill one’s mind,
但是:这一切的意义何在?
not least: what is the point of it all?
这个询问本身是至关重要的
This questioning too is vital.
青少年的问题很多都是小题大做
The sort of questions that adolescents raise tend to get a bad name,
但关键是如何回答问题 而非问题本身
but that is more to do with how they answer them than with the questions themselves.
生活的意义是什么?
What is the meaning of life?
为什么有痛苦?
Why is there suffering?
为什么资本主义不能更公平一点?
Why does capitalism not reward people more fairly?
青少年都是天生的哲学家
Adolescents are natural philosophers.
青春期真正的终结不是
The true end-point of adolescence is not,
所谓的
as it’s sometimes suggested,
停止提出大问题 消极度日
that one stops asking huge questions and gets on with the day to day.
而是围绕那些十七岁时令人着迷的大问题
It’s that one acquires the resources and intelligence to build an entire life
终其一生 用个人的资源和才智去解决它们
around the sort of big questions that first obsessed one at seventeen.
最后 令人心酸的是
Lastly, and most poignantly,
青少年往往憎恨自己
teenagers tend to hate themselves.
他们憎恨自己的外貌 说话方式 相处方式
They hate the way they look, how they speak, the waythey come across.
把自己当成被爱的对立面
It feels like the opposite of being loved,
但事实上
but in fact,
这些孤立的自我憎恨的时刻是爱的开始
these isolated, self-hating moments are the start of love.
某一天 这些自我怨恨的感觉
These feelings are what will,
都将成为日后欢愉的基础
one day, be at the bedrock of the ecstasy we’ll feel in the presence of
因为终有一人能够接受我 需要我
that rare partner who canaccept and desire us back.
没有整夜整夜哭着入睡的人
Tenderness will mean nothing to us
怎能体会温情对一个人的意义
unless we first spent many nights alone crying ourselves to sleep.
没有经受过痛苦的人
Nature appears to have so arranged things
怎能看透某些命中注定
that we really can’t get to certain insights without suffering.
苦难的真正区别是有用的苦难 无用的苦难
The real distinction is between suffering with a purpose and suffering in vain.
青少年时期
For all the horrors of adolescence,
所有恐惧的意义之一在于
one of its glories is that the suffering it inflicts is
你所遭受的痛苦将深深扎根
largely securely rooted in some of the most
成为你成人道路上至关重要的进步和成长
crucial developments and realizations of adulthood.
悲伤却迷人的那几年
These fascinatingly miserable few years
因其终有所值而成为我们的洗礼
should be celebrated for offering us suffering at its best.
感谢观看 请点赞并订阅
Thank you for watching, liking and subscribing.
如果你想了解更多
If you want more,
欢迎你来听我们的课程
why not visit us in person and attend a class?
请屏幕上方的链接 进我们的商店看一看吧
Or take a look at our shop at the link on your screen now?

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视频概述

本视频介绍了青春期的几大问题:没人懂我、恨父母、自我厌恶、琐碎的烦恼……只有经历过这些“不开心”的洗礼,才能真正地长大。

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收集自网络

翻译译者

ABC

审核员

审核员HL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcUI1Hk0GRU

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