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霍夫曼过程:7 天改变生活

The Hoffman Process: Changing Lives in 7 Days

sprouts SCHOOLS
通俗易懂的心理学
Our parents form a big part of our personality
在独立生活之前
during the time when we completely depend on their care.
父母对我们个性的形成有很大影响
This happens because as young children we perceive them
这是因为年幼时 我们认为他们
as almighty, endlessly wise, and flawless.
全能 拥有无限智慧且完美无瑕
We also believe that whatever they do, literally – whatever – they – do,
我们也相信 无论他们做什么 毫不夸张——无论他们做什么
they do out of unconditional love.
都是出于无条件的爱
And because we think they are infallible and full of love,
而且因为我们认为他们是绝对正确且充满爱
we consequently think that we are at fault whenever a conflict arises.
所以每当发生冲突时 我们都认为自己错了
In order to reduce any kind of conflict,
为了减少任何形式的冲突
we develop patterns of behavior, feelings,and thinking
我们形成了故意取悦父母
designed to please our parents and minimise any friction.
并减少任何摩擦的行为 情感和思维模式
Unfortunately, these patterns can lead to a personality
不幸的是 这些模式可能会使我们形成
that is misaligned with its true spiritual self.
与真正精神自我不一致的个性
And so, we grow into adults that behave in ways that make us sad.
因此 我们长大后成了自己不喜欢的人
The Hoffman Process was designed to help us recognize negative behavior of patterns,
霍夫曼过程旨在帮助我们认知消极的行为模式
break them and to become the person we really are.
打破它们并成为真正的自我
To condense a lifetime of analysis into seven days,
为了将分析周期压缩为7天
the process is highly structured, very intense,
该过程高度结构化 非常紧凑
and applies a multitude of techniques.
并应用了多种技术
Afterward, participants often understand why they are the way they are,
之后 参与者往往明白为什么他们会变成现在的样子
and learn to let go of the negative sides of their personality.
并学会放弃他们性格中的消极面
To understand how the process works,
为了弄清这个过程是如何运作的
let us look at three types of people who on the outside, look just fine,
我们来看这三种类型的人 他们表面上看起来还不错
but on the inside, deeply struggle.
但内心深处 深深地挣扎着
Eva is 27, a university graduate,
Eva27岁 大学毕业生
and she has just started her first job.
她刚刚开始自己的第一份工作
She’s unable to trust men
她无法信任男人
and is at a loss when it comes to forming healthyrelationships.
并在建立健康的人际关系方面不知所措
Jay is 51, an overachiever, and a respected CEO.
Jay现年51岁 是一位卓越的成功人士 也是一位受人尊敬的CEO
However, his marriage is broken and his two adult children hardly ever call.
然而 他离了婚 和他两个成年的孩子几乎不联系
He asks himself if that’s really all that life has to offer?
他问自己生活是否真的只能这样了
Tom is 45, married with one child, but he’s got no friends.
汤姆45岁 已婚并有一个孩子 但他没有朋友
He lives with his family far outside town
他和家人住在离城镇很远的地方
and signs up for the process when he realizes
当他意识到女儿在交友方面也有问题时
that his daughter also has problems making friends.
他就报名参加了这个过程
Through the process Eva will realise that,
通过这个过程 Eva会意识到
when her dad left when she was 4,
在她4岁时 父亲离开后
and her mother then struggled as a single mom and a lonely woman,
她母亲作为单身母亲和孤独的女人苦苦挣扎着
it had a big impact on her.
这对她产生了很大的影响
Over the years, her own relationship with her father became broken
多年来 她与父亲的关系破裂
and she learned that men couldn’t be trusted.
这使她认为男人是不可信的
Jay will learn that his life was going great
Jay会知道他的生活一直很美好
up until his little brother was born — a funny,extraverted and bright boy.
直到他的弟弟出生——一个有趣 外向 聪明的男孩
Afterwards, Jay was hardly noticed.
之后 Jay几乎不被关注
Jay soon realises that his parents would only pay attention to him
Jay很快意识到 只有在学业或体育方面表现出色
if he excelled in school or sports,
父母才会关注他
causing him to grow into an adult who tries to be the best in everything,
这使他成了一个在任何事情上都努力做到最好的人
in order to get the love he seeks.
只为了获得他所寻求的爱
Tom will realize that he was an accident,
Tom会意识到 他是一个意外
born to a young couple who had just begun dating.
由一对刚开始约会的年轻情侣所生
As a young boy he was often neglected, because their life was difficult.
作为一个小男孩 他经常被忽视 因为他们的生活很艰难
His parents who were overwhelmed by the situation
他的父母被这种情况弄得不知所措
would often snap at him over the smallest thing.
他们经常会因为小事而对他大发雷霆
Little Tom began to think that he was the cause of all misery,
小Tom开始认为 他是所有苦难的根源
he should never have been born.
他本不该出生
The process begins with a phone call from a designated therapist.
这个过程从指定治疗师的电话开始
This is followed by a 50-page questionnaire that helps their client to reflect on their lives.
接着是一项50页的 可以帮他们的客户反思自己生活的问卷
Going through the questions, the participants identify particular patterns in behavior
通过这些问题 参与者识别特定的行为模式
and link them to their parents.
并将它们与自己的父母相联系
Once returned, the therapist uses the questionnaire to understand the underlying issues.
交回后 治疗师会通过问卷来了解他们潜在的问题
On day 1, all three arrive at the retreat,
第一天 三人都来到了度假村
a place isolated from the outside world.
一个与外界隔绝的地方
They hand over their phones and any books to ensure there are no distractions.
他们上交了手机和书籍 以免分心
Tom then meets his therapist for an in-depth conversation.
Tom随后会见了他的治疗师并与之深入交谈
Afterwards, he gets to know the other 17 participants
之后 他认识了其他17名参与者
and learns that everyone carries within them an inner child
并认识到每个人内心深处都有一个
that manages their expectations, thoughts, and feelings.
管理他们期望 想法和感受的“孩子”
On day 2 ,Jay and the others learn more about their parents
第2天 Jay和其他人更多地了解了他们的父母
and how their behavioral patterns have formed out of love for their father and mother.
以及对父母的爱是如何塑造了他们的行为模式
Jay, who only got real attention when he impressed his parents,
只有给父母留下深刻印象时 Jay才得到真正的关注
could never be good enough to get all the love he needed.
他永远无法获得他需要的所有爱
Such conditional love is negative
这种有条件的爱是消极的
because subconsciously Jay takes on the blame for this disjunction
因为潜意识里 Jay 承担了这种脱节的责任
and develops a ‘core shame belief’
并形成了“核心羞耻信念”
he begins to think something is inherently wrong with himself.
他开始认为自己生来就有什么问题
And so, even after 50 years of trying so hard to be the best,
因此 即使经过50年的努力 获得巨大的成功
his inner child is still looking for the unconditional love he got so little of.
内心的自我仍然在寻找他很少获得的无条件的爱
On day 3, Eva realizes how the patterns she established as a young girl
第3天 Eva认识到她小时候潜意识中建立起的模式
subconsciously project into her adult relationships
是如何投射到自己的成人关系中
anyone who reminds Eva of her father, can’t be trusted.
任何让Eva想起她父亲的人都是不可信任的
Through a group game later that day, she experiences that there are men she can rely on.
通过当天晚些时候的小组游戏 她体会到 有些男人是可以依赖的
Eva then accuses her parents of making her the victim of their broken relationship
Eva后来指责她的父母使她成为他们破裂关系的受害者
this is important
这很重要
because this way she can retrace her negative pattern back to her parents.
因为这样她就可以将她的消极模式追溯到她的父母
Afterwards, she learns to understand their story,
之后 她学会了理解他们的故事
because they too were once children, with parents who had their own issues.
因为他们也曾是孩子 他们的父母也有自己的问题
This is important because then she can understand their situation
这很重要 因为这样她才能理解他们的处境
and realizes that the way she was brought up was all her parents were able to provide.
并意识到她的成长方式都是父母能够提供的
Now she can make peace with her past, and her mistrust of men begins to wither.
现在她可以与过去和解 对男人的不信任也开始消退
On day 4, participants say goodbye to their parents and their childhood
第4天 参与者告别“父母”和“童年”
and ask themselves:Where am I from?
并问自己:我从哪里来?
What injuries do I bring along from my mother and father?
父母对我造成了哪些伤害?
How have these injuries impacted my life?
这些伤害如何影响我的生活?
What strategies have I developed to compensate for these injuries so far?
到目前为止 我制定了哪些策略来弥补这些伤害?
Jay, who didn’t want to be reminded of the painful thought
Jay不想想起
that he’s not worthy of his parents unconditional love,
自己不值得父母无条件的爱
compensated by only contacting them when he had outstanding news,such as another promotion.
他有好消息时才联系父母 比如获得晋升
Knowing that they would then surely listen and act predictably,
知道他们肯定会倾听并按预期行事
he reduces the risk of feeling hurt.
他降低了自己受伤的风险
After this realization,
有了这个认识之后
Jay creates a development plan to follow his vision for life after the process.
Jay制定了一个发展计划 以在此过程之后遵循他对生活的愿景
Day 5 is about our vindictiveness.
第5天是关于“我们的报复”
Tom, who didn’t want to be reminded that he is the root of all problems,
Tom不想被提醒 自己是所有问题的根源
compensated for the pain he experienced by hiding himself.
他通过隐藏自己来补偿所经历的痛苦
At a young age,children keep their honor by thinking of how to,
小时候 孩子们通过思考如何
one day, pay their parents back for the misery they caused them.
在将来某天报复 给他们带来痛苦的父母来保持荣誉
As we mature, such vindictive thoughts move into the subconscious
随着我们的成熟 这种报复性的想法会进入潜意识
and by the time he is a teenager, Tom begins to pay back.
到了青少年的时候 Tom就开始报复了
First by breaking the law,then by breaking all contacts with his friends and family.
首先是触犯法律 然后断绝与朋友和家人的所有联系
On this day, Tom stops feeling vindictiveand makes peace with his parents.
在这一天 Tom不再怀“恨”在心并与父母和解
His inner child regains his honor and grows in strength.
他内心的自我 重获荣誉并成长壮大
Grown-up Tom can now leave his hiding place and finally enjoy meeting other people.
长大的Tom现在可以离开他的藏身之处 终于可以享受与他人见面的乐趣了
On day 6 the participants get to know the saboteur,
第6天 参与者开始认识“破坏者”
the inner voice that warns us of any change
这个警告我们远离任何改变的内心声音
in order to keep us in the safe old world we know so well.
为了让我们留在熟悉而安全的旧世界
Eva hears the voice,whenever she opens up to the opposite sex
每当Eva向异性敞开心扉 就听到这个声音
it whispers “remember, you can’t trust men”.
它会低声说“记住 你不能信任男人”
Tom hears it when he enters a group of people — “you are not welcome here”.
Tom走进人群 听到这个声音——“这里不欢迎你”
Whenever Jay tries to relax and be himself,
每当Jay试图放松并做自己
the saboteur says “Don’t just do nothing! You are better than this!”
破坏者说:“不要什么都不做!你能比现在更好!”
After getting to know this evil agent,
在了解这个邪恶的代理人后
they learn how to deal with this enemy of our progress.
他们学会了对付我们前进中的这个敌人
Then the group recaps the entire process
然后小组回顾了整个过程
and celebrates their new found selves.
并庆祝他们发现了新的自我
On day 7, they learn practical tools
第7天 他们学习了使用实用工具
on how to cope with the change they will face when they go back into their lives.
处理他们回到生活中将面临的改变
Finally, they go home to their parents,
最后 他们回家见了父母
to complete what they have started, end their old lives and begin afresh.
完成他们已经开始的事情 结束他们的旧生活并重新开始
The Hoffman Process was developed in 1967 by Bob Hoffman.
霍夫曼过程由鲍勃·霍夫曼于1967年提出
Today the process is being offered in over 16 countries
如今 该流程已在超过16个国家使用
and over 100.000 people have gone through this intense journey of self-discovery
超过100000人参加了这段激烈的自我发现之旅
including Justin Bieber and Katy Perry.
包括贾斯汀·比伯和凯蒂·佩里
To learn more about the Hoffman process,
要了解有关霍夫曼过程的更多信息
or to read the research on it by the Harvard Center for Public Leadership,
或阅读哈佛公共领导中心对它的研究
check out the descriptions below.
看看下面的描述
Prior to creating this channel,our founder went through the Hoffman Process
在创建此频道之前 我们的创始人参加了霍夫曼过程
and it had a profound effect on his life.
这对他的生活产生了深远的影响

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视频概述

对于原生家庭造成的伤痛和别扭性格,看看霍夫曼过程是如何使他们自我救赎并获得成长的

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收集自网络

翻译译者

一期一会

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审核员VS

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkRUrMiuIg4

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