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爱人的四种类型

The Four Love Types: Explorer, Builder, Director, And Negotiator

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《Psych To Go》
Psych2GoPSYCH TO GO
爱情的4种类型
The 4 Types Of Love
4种类型的爱
The 4 Types of Love
你是哪一种?
Which one are you?
在大多数文化中都有灵魂伴侣这么一说
The idea of soulmate is one found throughout all of popular culture.
比如 你在火车上遇见某一个人 然后立刻坠入爱河
For example, the idea you could meet someone on a train and fall in love instantly.
现在让我们放弃对浪漫爱情的美好幻想
Let’s remove those rose-tinted glasses that romantize love,
以一种更科学的方式看待灵魂伴侣吧
and take a look at soulmates in a more scientific way.
人类学专家,费希尔•海伦博士
Dr.Helen Fisher, who is a research professor of anthropology,
已经研究人类的爱情很多年了。
has studied human love for years.
她终于对人类中的情侣
She’s made groundbreaking discoveries about who people are as lovers
和他们最终追寻的爱情有了重大的发现
and the love they seek as a result.
她发现,爱情有4种类型
There are four love types that she discovered:
探索者 建设者 执行者和沟通者
the explorer, the builder, the director and the negotiator.
探索者拥有显性多巴胺
Explorers are dominant in dopamine.
建设者拥有显性血清素
Builders are dominant in serotonin.
执行者拥有显性睾丸素
Directors are dominant in testosterone.
沟通者由雌性激素主导
And negotiators are dominant in estrogen.
以我们的化学组成为基础
Based on our chemical makeup,
它也在我们的性格特征 爱好 对生活方式的偏好中显示出来
it also shows in our personality characteristics, habits and lifestyle preferences.
探索者常常与
Explorers are often associated with words like
冒险 自发性 乐趣等词有关
“adventure”, “spontaneity” and “fun”.
因为他们的化学组成是显性多巴胺
Because their chemical makeup is predominantly dopamine.
他们在爱情中寻找玩伴
These people seek a playmate in their lover.
把生活看成一场大冒险
They see life as one big great adventure
并希望有人与他们同行
and want someone to join them in it.
他们既冲动又充满好奇
They are highly impulsive and curious.
高浓度的多巴胺会使探索者们具有积极性和目标性
High dopamine levels also influence explorer types to be motivated and goal-oriented,
因为他们遗传了热情,活力,专注以及自信。
because they’re linked to enthusiasm, energy, focus and assertiveness.
探索者常常会被其他探索者所吸引
Explorers often tend to be attracted to other explorers.
两个探索者相遇
While that sounds easy enough
这听起来蛮容易的
when two explorers come together,
因为火花会在两颗无畏的心中迸发
and sparks ignite with two bold hearts on fire.
但如果他们在共同前行的路上不懂得耐心
If they don’t learn what patience is down the road,
那便很容易发生碰撞和冲突。
it is common for two explorers to get in a head-on collision.
这会导致双方分道扬镳
This can result in messy breakups.
建设者通常和
Builders are often associated with words like
家庭 可靠 忠诚等词相关
“family”, “honest” and “loyalty”.
因为他们的化学组成主要是显性血清素
Because their chemical makeup is predominantly serotonin,
他们寻找着能互帮互助的伴侣
these people seek a helpful lover.
血清素使人谨慎
Serotonin generates caution
因为它压制了多巴胺的分泌
because it suppresses dopamine levels.
因此 建设者一般是自在的 群居的 稳定的
Therefore, builders are relaxed, social, steady
他们会以家庭和社会为导向
and family and community-oriented.
他们是天生的合作者
They are natural networkers,
并且尊重社会中的规则与权威
and respect rules and authority in society.
建设者也是天生的计划者,
Builders are natural planners
喜欢提前安排好一切事物
and like to schedule things ahead of time.
他们十分关注细节
They have an eye for detail
做事情也是一步一步做
and are linear in the way they do things in a step-by-step fashion.
建设者常常被其他建设者吸引
Builders are often attracted to other builders.
他们通常结婚60年后生活依旧非常甜蜜
These couples are often the high school sweethearts you hear about who are still married sixty years later.
虽然这听起来很理想化
While that sounds idealistic,
但并不意味着在这段关系中 他们无需面对困难
that doesn’t mean builders don’t have their fair share of obstacles to overcome in their relationships.
比如
For instance,
因为建设者们常以他们的规则 时间表和传统为准则
because builders can be set in their rules, schedules and traditions,
两个建设者可能会发生口角 因为他们都觉得自己是对的
two builders may bicker over what they perceive as the “right way” of doing things.
对于建设者们来说 如果他们想要发展和促进他们之间的关系
It’s important for builders to keep an open mind
思想开放和灵活变通
and learn the value of flexibility
是非常重要的
if they want their relationships to grow and evolve.
执行者们通常和
Directors are often associated with words like
迂腐 野心和挑战等词相关
“nerd”, “ambition” and “challenge”.
因为他们的化学组成主要是睾丸素
Because their chemical makeup is predominantly testosterone,
他们在爱情中寻求思想上的伴侣
these people seek a mind mate in their lovers.
执行者们是直率,坚定和果断的。
Directors are straightforward, tough-minded and decisive.
他们注重逻辑
They value logic.
因此 他们在做决定时
Therefore, when making decisions,
不会轻易被情绪影响
they’re not easily swayed by emotions.
执行者们乐于挑战
Directors enjoy competition
他们注重实际 专注和勇敢
and are pragmatic, focused and daring.
他们有很大的野心
They’re also highly ambitious
能像孤狼一样独立
and can be so independent that they can come off as lone wolves.
他们还有出色的空间运用能力
Directors have excellent spatial skills
音乐技能和运动能力。
and musical and athletic ability too.
执行者们极少爱上另一个的执行者
Directors rarely ever go for other directors.
取而代之 他们会找像沟通者
Instead, they go for their opposite mates,
那样与他们相反的伴侣。
which is the negotiator.
这是因为执行者不善言辞和阅人
This is because directors lack the verbal and people-reading skills
而沟通者的这两种能力与生俱来 所以他们相互吸引
negotiators naturally possess that helps attract them to one another.
即使执行者和沟通者天生一对
Although the director and negotiator typically make a good pairing,
他们之间仍会产生问题
problems can still arise.
比如 执行者是个
Directors, for instance,
工作狂
have workholic tendencies,
可能会忽视沟通者和家庭
and may neglect to spend quality time with negotiators and their family.
沟通者通常与
Negotiators are often associated with words like
善良 有同情心和敏感等词相关
“kindness”, “empathy” and “sensitivity”.
因为他们的化学组成主要是雌性激素
Because their chemical makeup is predominantly estrogen.
他们在爱情中寻找灵魂伴侣
They seek a soulmate in their lover.
在这些爱情类型中 沟通者是有名的哲学家
Negotiators are known to be the philosophers out of the love type group
因为高浓度雌性激素使他们思考缜密
because their high estrogen level provides for webbed thinking.
这使他们有无穷无尽的
This helps them connect a vast array of
点子 想法和理论
ideas, concepts and theories with one another
同时还有抽象的思维方式
as well as think naturally in an abstract manner,
和丰富的想象力
and provides them with a vivid imagination.
结果是
As a result,
这使得他们经常做白日梦
this makes them habitual daydreamers.
沟通者是靠直觉存活的个体
Negotiators are highly intuitive individuals,
因为他们的直觉敏锐 所以经常依赖直觉做事
relying on their gut feelings often because they are natural feelers.
然而 当他们细想平日里的言谈时
However, negotiators can experience problems in their relationships
就会发现与伴侣间存在的各种问题
when they dwell on casual comments and criticisms.
他们倾向于把问题憋在心里
They tend to take them personally
然后长年累月地怀恨在心
and can cause them to hold grudges for months or even years.
同时 沟通者也多愁善感
Negotiators are also susceptible to depression and
当他们压抑过久就会大爆发
and can over-do it when they constantly feel lost.
在寻找自我的过程中
Always on the search for themselves,
他们很容易过度自我沉沦
they can become overly self-absorbed,
自我认知和自我批评
self-conscious and self-critical.
虽然这些爱情类型很容易被
Although these love types are more likely to be attracted to
某一类型的爱人所吸引
certain types of lovers over others,
但事实上任何类型都互相匹配
the truth is that any love match can work.
只要对方足够成熟
So long as the two members are mature enough
愿意与另一半相互磨合
and willing to cooperate with one another and work with each other’s differences.
尽管海伦博士做出了这么重大的研究发现
Despite the important research Dr.Helen Fisher conducted,
我们对爱情的认知仍然只是九牛一毛
we still know only a speck about love.
它依旧一个神秘的概念
It’s still such an enigmatic concept
以至于最科学的方式
that cannot be fully explained,
也解释不了爱情
even in an utmost scientific way.
因为毕竟
Because after all,
人们总是会爱上一些
people often end up falling in love with those
自己认为永远不会爱上的人
whom they least expect to end up with.
从根本上来说 情侣关系
Ultimately, in relationships,
就是不断地选择配偶的过程
it’s about constantly choosing your partner over and over again.
以及善意
And kindness.
如果你发现你与你的另一半不合拍
If you find youself in a disagreement with your partner,
拿起电话或开车去他们的住处
pick up the phone or drive over to their place.
抛开你的自尊 然后表达歉意
Swallow your pride and apologize.
问问你自己:
Ask yourself:
“失去他/她 值得吗?”
“Is this really worth losing someone over?”
不幸的是 有些念头总是转瞬即逝
The sad reality is that things are always fleeting.
但当你真的去做了
But the things you do have control over
就一定是值得的
make those moments count.
关于爱情和四种爱情类型 你是如何看待的呢?
What are your thoughts on love and the four love types?
请在下方留言
Be sure to leave your comments below
并按照视频中的描述
and follow the link in the description
看看你是哪种爱情类型
to find out which love type you are.
还是那句老话 如果你喜欢这个视频
As always, if you enjoy this video,
记得订阅Psych2Go频道了解更多内容哦
be sure to like and subscribe to see more contents from Psych2Go.

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视频概述

爱人的四种类型,你和ta分别是哪一种呢?

听录译者

安安

翻译译者

小尝

审核员

嘉言先森

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jWljiYEkec

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