《Psych To Go》
Psych2GoPSYCH TO GO
The 4 Types Of Love
The 4 Types of Love
Which one are you?
The idea of soulmate is one found throughout all of popular culture.
比如 你在火车上遇见某一个人 然后立刻坠入爱河
For example, the idea you could meet someone on a train and fall in love instantly.
Let’s remove those rose-tinted glasses that romantize love,
and take a look at soulmates in a more scientific way.
Dr.Helen Fisher, who is a research professor of anthropology,
has studied human love for years.
She’s made groundbreaking discoveries about who people are as lovers
and the love they seek as a result.
There are four love types that she discovered:
探索者 建设者 执行者和沟通者
the explorer, the builder, the director and the negotiator.
Explorers are dominant in dopamine.
Builders are dominant in serotonin.
Directors are dominant in testosterone.
And negotiators are dominant in estrogen.
Based on our chemical makeup,
它也在我们的性格特征 爱好 对生活方式的偏好中显示出来
it also shows in our personality characteristics, habits and lifestyle preferences.
Explorers are often associated with words like
冒险 自发性 乐趣等词有关
“adventure”, “spontaneity” and “fun”.
Because their chemical makeup is predominantly dopamine.
These people seek a playmate in their lover.
They see life as one big great adventure
and want someone to join them in it.
They are highly impulsive and curious.
High dopamine levels also influence explorer types to be motivated and goal-oriented,
because they’re linked to enthusiasm, energy, focus and assertiveness.
Explorers often tend to be attracted to other explorers.
While that sounds easy enough
when two explorers come together,
and sparks ignite with two bold hearts on fire.
If they don’t learn what patience is down the road,
it is common for two explorers to get in a head-on collision.
This can result in messy breakups.
Builders are often associated with words like
家庭 可靠 忠诚等词相关
“family”, “honest” and “loyalty”.
Because their chemical makeup is predominantly serotonin,
these people seek a helpful lover.
Serotonin generates caution
because it suppresses dopamine levels.
因此 建设者一般是自在的 群居的 稳定的
Therefore, builders are relaxed, social, steady
and family and community-oriented.
They are natural networkers,
and respect rules and authority in society.
Builders are natural planners
and like to schedule things ahead of time.
They have an eye for detail
and are linear in the way they do things in a step-by-step fashion.
Builders are often attracted to other builders.
These couples are often the high school sweethearts you hear about who are still married sixty years later.
While that sounds idealistic,
that doesn’t mean builders don’t have their fair share of obstacles to overcome in their relationships.
because builders can be set in their rules, schedules and traditions,
two builders may bicker over what they perceive as the “right way” of doing things.
It’s important for builders to keep an open mind
and learn the value of flexibility
if they want their relationships to grow and evolve.
Directors are often associated with words like
“nerd”, “ambition” and “challenge”.
Because their chemical makeup is predominantly testosterone,
these people seek a mind mate in their lovers.
Directors are straightforward, tough-minded and decisive.
They value logic.
Therefore, when making decisions,
they’re not easily swayed by emotions.
Directors enjoy competition
and are pragmatic, focused and daring.
They’re also highly ambitious
and can be so independent that they can come off as lone wolves.
Directors have excellent spatial skills
and musical and athletic ability too.
Directors rarely ever go for other directors.
Instead, they go for their opposite mates,
which is the negotiator.
This is because directors lack the verbal and people-reading skills
negotiators naturally possess that helps attract them to one another.
Although the director and negotiator typically make a good pairing,
problems can still arise.
Directors, for instance,
have workholic tendencies,
and may neglect to spend quality time with negotiators and their family.
Negotiators are often associated with words like
“kindness”, “empathy” and “sensitivity”.
Because their chemical makeup is predominantly estrogen.
They seek a soulmate in their lover.
Negotiators are known to be the philosophers out of the love type group
because their high estrogen level provides for webbed thinking.
This helps them connect a vast array of
ideas, concepts and theories with one another
as well as think naturally in an abstract manner,
and provides them with a vivid imagination.
As a result,
this makes them habitual daydreamers.
Negotiators are highly intuitive individuals,
relying on their gut feelings often because they are natural feelers.
However, negotiators can experience problems in their relationships
when they dwell on casual comments and criticisms.
They tend to take them personally
and can cause them to hold grudges for months or even years.
Negotiators are also susceptible to depression and
and can over-do it when they constantly feel lost.
Always on the search for themselves,
they can become overly self-absorbed,
self-conscious and self-critical.
Although these love types are more likely to be attracted to
certain types of lovers over others,
the truth is that any love match can work.
So long as the two members are mature enough
and willing to cooperate with one another and work with each other’s differences.
Despite the important research Dr.Helen Fisher conducted,
we still know only a speck about love.
It’s still such an enigmatic concept
that cannot be fully explained,
even in an utmost scientific way.
Because after all,
people often end up falling in love with those
whom they least expect to end up with.
Ultimately, in relationships,
it’s about constantly choosing your partner over and over again.
If you find youself in a disagreement with your partner,
pick up the phone or drive over to their place.
Swallow your pride and apologize.
“Is this really worth losing someone over?”
The sad reality is that things are always fleeting.
But the things you do have control over
make those moments count.
What are your thoughts on love and the four love types?
Be sure to leave your comments below
and follow the link in the description
to find out which love type you are.
As always, if you enjoy this video,
be sure to like and subscribe to see more contents from Psych2Go.