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恋爱中的四种依恋风格,你是哪一种? – 译学馆
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恋爱中的四种依恋风格,你是哪一种?

The Four Attachment Styles of Love

“来吧!心理学”的观众们 大家好
Hello Psych2goers!
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请坚持看完本期视频
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希望大家会喜欢本期视频
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你有没有想过你为什么会吸引到某种人
Do you ever think about why you’re more inclined to attract
或者被特定的某种人吸引?
or be attracted to certain types of people?
又或者 你和以前交往过的人
Or why the people you’ve dated in the past
为什么不如你想的那么相配?
weren’t as compatible with you as you thought?
爱情需要的是不断的选择
Love involves constant choice,
不断的承诺 不断的努力
commitment and work,
要做到这一切 需要你直观认识伴侣和自己
which all demand an intuitive understanding both of your partner and of yourself.
有一项信息对你很有用
One useful piece of information is
就是你要认识你们彼此的依恋风格
learning about you and your partner’s attachment styles.
学习依恋风格
The intent of learning about attachment styles
不是为了把爱情分类得整整齐齐的
isn’t to box love up neatly into categories,
而且也不代表你永远都属于某种依恋风格
nor does it mean you’re stuck with one attachment style forever.
事实上 有一点是值得注意的
In fact, it’s important to note that
随着时间推移
as time goes on,
你的依恋风格会随着你作为恋人的演变而变化
your attachment style can change from the way you evolved as a lover.
如果你和伴侣的关系已经变得脆弱
If things have become fragile between you and your partner,
你就要意识到 这是个让你成长的机会
realize that this is your chance to grow.
以下是恋爱中的四种依恋风格
Here are the four attachment styles in love.
第一种 安全型依恋风格
No.1 Secure.
一个安全型依恋风格的人
When you have a secure attachment style,
在爱情中占很大的优势
you have a great advantage in love.
遇到问题时 你会乐意去找你的另一半
You feel comfortable going to your partner when something is off
而作为报答 你会让伴侣完全自由
and in return, you allow your partner absolute freedom.
安全型依恋风格的人
People with a secure attachment style
往往拥有坦诚 开放 平等的恋情
tend to have honest, open and equal relationships
而在这样的恋情中 双方可以一起健康成长
where both partners can thrive and grow together at a healthy pace.
他们懂得怎样一起合作
They understand how to merge together
以建立稳定的恋情 让双方过上正常的生活
to form a stable ground they can stand and operate on.
这听起来可能不太真实
This probably sounds too good to be true,
但是不要把安全和完美给混淆了
but security is not to be confused with perfection.
安全型依恋风格的人
People with a secure attachment style
也会遇到冲突和困难
experience conflict and bad days,
就像其他恋人一样
just like any other couple.
但是与众不同的是
But what sets them apart
他们情商较高
is their higher emotional intelligence
能够有效地表达他们的情感
that helps them communicate their feelings effectively
而且具备了解决问题而不攻击对方的能力
and their ability to problem-solve, rather than attacking their partner.
基本上 这些人非常有韧性
Essentially, they’re highly resilient individuals
因为他们会利用自我意识 谨慎地克服障碍
who understand how to move past obstacles with great care and self-awareness.
第二种 焦虑型依恋风格
No.2 Anxious-Preoccupied.
焦虑型依恋风格的人
People with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style
倾向把爱情浪漫化
tend to romanticize love,
因为对他们来说 把关系建立在幻想上
because it’s easier for them to form a fantasy bond with someone,
比把关系建立在现实上更容易
instead of something based off a reality.
他们经常被自己能拯救的伴侣吸引
They are often attracted to partners they can save
或者被能拯救自己的伴侣吸引
or in some cases, those who can save them.
焦虑型依恋风格的人
People who have an anxious preoccupied attachment style
要求极高 过分执着 而且很会粘人
can be demanding, obsessive, and clingy.
他们会过度分析各种情况 情绪也容易波动
They’re prone to over-analyzing situations, having mood swings,
而且经常误把不稳定的恋情当作激情
and often mistake turbulent relationships for passion.
他们常常感到焦虑 自卑
They can struggle from insecurities, low self-esteem,
而且自我意识很薄弱
and establishing a strong sense of self.
原因是 他们从小就缺乏健康的界限
Because they grew up without healthy boundaries
而且很少有人注重培养他们的个性
and little to no guidance on nurturing their individuality.
第三种 轻视回避型依恋风格
No.3 Dismissive-Avoidant
轻视回避型依恋风格的人
People with a dismissive avoidant attachment style
往往在恋情中表现得冷漠
tend to be emotionally distant in relationships.
他们自给自足 性格独立
They come across as self-sufficient, independent,
而且会回避真正的亲密关系
and can avoid true intimacy.
尽管一对情侣需要有呼吸的空间
Although space is essential for two people to breathe
才能在恋情中做回自己
and be themselves in any relationship,
但是轻视回避型的人会更频繁地寻找空间
people with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style can seek it more frequently
以免在另一半面前表现出脆弱的一面
to push themselves away from being vulnerable with their partner.
要是另一半突然威胁要分手
If at any point, their partner threatens to leave them,
他们就会把情绪压抑下来
they have the ability to shut their emotions down
假装自己不在乎
and pretend like they don’t care.
但是极端的独立性格是一种幻想
But extreme independence is an illusion,
因为人与人之间需要建立关系才能生存
because humans need connection in order to survive.
因此 轻视回避型依恋风格的人
As a result, people with an avoidant-dismissive attachment style
很少与他人建立亲密关系
have very few close relationships with others.
第四种 恐惧回避型依恋风格
No.4 Fearful-Avoidant.
恐惧回避型依恋风格的人
People with a fearful avoidant attachment style
总是如履薄冰
experience a delicate mixture.
他们既害怕跟另一半太亲密
Fearing being both too close
又害怕与另一半太疏远
or too distant from their lover,
因此他们变幻莫测
they could be unpredictable
而且负面情绪经常让他们招架不住
and are often overwhelmed by their own emotions.
他们知道 他们要与他人接触 才能找到爱情
They understand they have to approach others in order to find love,
却又经常会伤害太过亲近的人
but when people get too close to them, they often hurt them.
他们害怕被遗弃
They fear being abandoned,
却又害怕信任和依靠另一半
but struggle with being confident in their partner and relying on them.
他们在内心苦苦挣扎着
They face a lot of inner conflict
因为他们对亲密既需要又抗拒
between wanting intimacy and resisting it.
因此 他们的恋情一般都是起起伏伏的
As a result, they usually experience many highs and lows in relationships,
他们一旦觉得被拒绝 就会粘住对方
cling to their partners when they feel rejected,
而且一不小心就会陷入虐待关系中
and if not careful, can end up in abusive relationships.
与轻视回避型依恋风格的人相似
Similar to the dismissive-avoidant attachment style,
这些人很少与他人建立亲密的关系
These individuals have very few close relationships with others.
一旦接受了你的依恋风格
Accepting what your attachment style is
并认识到了你要为此付出的努力
and recognizing the work that comes with it
你的生活将会发生强有力的转变
can be life-changing and powerful.
我们希望这些信息能帮助你提升自我意识
And we hope that this information can teach you to become more self aware
并且帮助你成为更好的恋人
and help you become a better lover.
你的依恋风格是什么呢?
Which attachment love style do you resonate with?
它对你的恋情产生了什么影响?
And how has it affected your relationships?
请在下方与我们分享你的想法
Please share your thoughts with us below.
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感谢收看!
Thanks for watching!
原创文章网址是
Original article at
https://psych2go.net/the-4-attachment-styles-in-love/
https://psych2go.net/the-4-attachment-styles-in-love/
大家好 我只是想通过这个视频
Hey, everybody! I just want to give a personal thank-you video
感谢大家对“来吧!心理学”一如既往的支持
for you guys for always supporting Psych2go
使这一切变成可能
and making this all possible for us.
我们的目标是使心理学触手可及
Our vision is to make psychology as accessible as possible
促进自我意识 帮助大家成长
so that it promotes self-awareness and it helps you guys grow.
然而 我们想为大家制作更多的内容
However, we want to make more content for you guys,
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and would love your support in buying one of these bracelets
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from our partner, Introvert Palace.
看看这串手链
Check out the bracelet.
它相当酷 连冥王星也在里头
It’s pretty cool and it even includes Pluto.
如有意购买 链接就在下方描述区
The link to purchase will all be in the description below,
希望大家会有愉快的一天
and I hope you guys have an amazing day.
拜拜!
Bye!

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视频概述

恋爱中的四种依恋风格,你是哪一种?

听录译者

徘徊的小孩

翻译译者

搬那度

审核员

审核员YZ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23ePqRkOKtg

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