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Do you ever think about why you’re more inclined to attract
or be attracted to certain types of people?
Or why the people you’ve dated in the past
weren’t as compatible with you as you thought?
Love involves constant choice,
commitment and work,
which all demand an intuitive understanding both of your partner and of yourself.
One useful piece of information is
learning about you and your partner’s attachment styles.
The intent of learning about attachment styles
isn’t to box love up neatly into categories,
nor does it mean you’re stuck with one attachment style forever.
In fact, it’s important to note that
as time goes on,
your attachment style can change from the way you evolved as a lover.
If things have become fragile between you and your partner,
realize that this is your chance to grow.
Here are the four attachment styles in love.
When you have a secure attachment style,
you have a great advantage in love.
You feel comfortable going to your partner when something is off
and in return, you allow your partner absolute freedom.
People with a secure attachment style
往往拥有坦诚 开放 平等的恋情
tend to have honest, open and equal relationships
where both partners can thrive and grow together at a healthy pace.
They understand how to merge together
to form a stable ground they can stand and operate on.
This probably sounds too good to be true,
but security is not to be confused with perfection.
People with a secure attachment style
experience conflict and bad days,
just like any other couple.
But what sets them apart
is their higher emotional intelligence
that helps them communicate their feelings effectively
and their ability to problem-solve, rather than attacking their partner.
Essentially, they’re highly resilient individuals
who understand how to move past obstacles with great care and self-awareness.
People with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style
tend to romanticize love,
because it’s easier for them to form a fantasy bond with someone,
instead of something based off a reality.
They are often attracted to partners they can save
or in some cases, those who can save them.
People who have an anxious preoccupied attachment style
要求极高 过分执着 而且很会粘人
can be demanding, obsessive, and clingy.
They’re prone to over-analyzing situations, having mood swings,
and often mistake turbulent relationships for passion.
They can struggle from insecurities, low self-esteem,
and establishing a strong sense of self.
Because they grew up without healthy boundaries
and little to no guidance on nurturing their individuality.
People with a dismissive avoidant attachment style
tend to be emotionally distant in relationships.
They come across as self-sufficient, independent,
and can avoid true intimacy.
Although space is essential for two people to breathe
and be themselves in any relationship,
people with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style can seek it more frequently
to push themselves away from being vulnerable with their partner.
If at any point, their partner threatens to leave them,
they have the ability to shut their emotions down
and pretend like they don’t care.
But extreme independence is an illusion,
because humans need connection in order to survive.
As a result, people with an avoidant-dismissive attachment style
have very few close relationships with others.
People with a fearful avoidant attachment style
experience a delicate mixture.
Fearing being both too close
or too distant from their lover,
they could be unpredictable
and are often overwhelmed by their own emotions.
他们知道 他们要与他人接触 才能找到爱情
They understand they have to approach others in order to find love,
but when people get too close to them, they often hurt them.
They fear being abandoned,
but struggle with being confident in their partner and relying on them.
They face a lot of inner conflict
between wanting intimacy and resisting it.
As a result, they usually experience many highs and lows in relationships,
cling to their partners when they feel rejected,
and if not careful, can end up in abusive relationships.
Similar to the dismissive-avoidant attachment style,
These individuals have very few close relationships with others.
Accepting what your attachment style is
and recognizing the work that comes with it
can be life-changing and powerful.
And we hope that this information can teach you to become more self aware
and help you become a better lover.
Which attachment love style do you resonate with?
And how has it affected your relationships?
Please share your thoughts with us below.
Also, don’t forget to subscribe to more content from Psych2go
and check out our Patreon.
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