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机场并未使用的更好的登机方式

The Better Boarding Method Airlines Won't Use

[不清晰的机场公告]
[Inaudible airport announcements]
[格雷叹气]
[Grey sighs]
最快的登机方式是什么?
What’s the fastest way to board an airplane?
我觉得你肯定不能就打开登机口
I mean, you can’t just throw open the gates
像赶牛进圈一样登机
like funneling cattle into a chute.
我们不能那样做
That’s not for us.
毕竟我们是灵长类动物
We’re primates, after all!
让我们用高等动物的脑袋思考一下
So let’s put our monkey brains to work to tackle this queue
以解决人们上飞机排队问题
which is what boarding groups do:
显然 要把人们的登机方式处理得当
Prioritize, plainly packing primates precisely.
首先
(Primarily)
我们有一个建议:
Ok, we have a suggestion:
让人们杂乱无章地拥入飞机
pour people into the plane back to front.
这是让机舱坐满人的直观方式
This is an intuitive solution to fill a cylinder.
但是 世上有着这样一条规律
But there’s almost a law of the universe
如果一个方法是
that solutions which are…
你第一个想到的
…the first thing you’d think
并且看上去挺合理 实施起来又简单
of and look sensible and are easy to implement are often…
经常是糟糕又无效的方法
… terrible, ineffective solutions,
一旦被实施可能会一直阻碍文明进步
once implemented will drag on civilization forever. ::
咳咳 投票系统 咳咳
Cough, voting systems, cough::
所以毫无悬念 这种方法
So it should come as no surprise that this method is…
并非很好
… not good
而大部分航空公司都是用这种登机方式
and also what most airlines use to board their planes.
让我们看看实际情况
Let’s watch it in action:
第一批要登机的乘客走到机舱尾部
The first boarding group walks to the back of the plane.
一切都很顺利
Everything is smooth right
直到排头的人开始进舱
until the first to go reaches their row and starts to stow.
速度就特别慢
So slow.
即使乘客二已经能看到自己的座位
And for passenger two, while their seat is in view,
也无济于事
there’s nothing to do.
过道队伍中的人都只能空焦虑着
The aisle’s one queue, where all can naught but stew,
像被胶水粘住一样不能动 直到前面的人进舱
stuck like glue until this guy’s through. ::

Phew::
行李是延缓登机速度的主要原因
It’s bags. Bags cause most of the delay boarding a flight.
就像这样 完全不能动
Like with this: a full-stop stow.
当这种事发生时 所有进没进舱的人
When it happens, everyone boarding the plane within and
都必须等别人把行李放好
without must wait until one person finishes stowing their bag.
你懂这种感觉吗?
Can you feel it?
人们浪费了大把的时间
The aggregate lost seconds of human life piling up
是在给时间收割者奖励吗?
like a bounty for a delighted reaper?
你肯定能懂 你看到这些行李的时候就能感受到
Of course you can. You can feel it with every bag. ::
啊哈 我在说什么?
Uhhh:: What was I saying?
是的 从后往前登机的乘客长时间停滞不前
Right, back-to-front boarding groups have a lot of full-stop stows,
而且几乎什么都没有得到
and very few of what you want:
一列变成两行 两行又变成一列
… pullaways and parallels and parallels and pullaways.
座位在一排将一队变成了两队
Pullaways turn one queue into two.
座位分别在两排使行李存放时间缩短 让人很满意
And parallels decrease total bag stow time and are super satisfying.
罕见的座位在相邻三行的效率很高
The rare triple partner parallel invoking a double high-five
且增添了绝对快乐
at the sheer pleasure of its efficiency.
但从机舱后进舱的方式让这种情况很少发生
But loading back to front lets few of these happen.
那么假如说你不止不擅长
Now say you weren’t just…
规划乘客进舱的方法
not good at designing boarding groups,…
而且你怀有恶意 想要让人们
… but you were malicious and wanted to maximize the amount
花在飞行上的时间最大化
of human life wasted upon a flight.
你将怎么做?
What would you do?
不要从机尾进舱 而要从机首进舱
Not back-to-front but front to back —
等候登机的人越少越好
the smaller the boarding group the better.
这样就会使得队伍难以往前移动
This makes almost every tedious shuffle forward result in a full stop stow, …
因为机舱内外满满都是成队等待入座的人
…because most of the line waits by rows already full or outside the plane.
是不是感觉很熟悉?
Look familiar?
这就是我们所知道的飞机的阶级结构
This is where we acknowledge the class structure of airplanes.
实际上 从后往前登机的预备经济文件出台前
Real planes look like this and first class boards first,
飞机都像这样
front to back, …
头等舱的乘客先从前往后登机
… before the pro-conomy file in back-to-front.
所以除了文件里规定的登机系统
So, excluding pre-boarding,
所有航空都是故意用这种最慢的登机方式
all airlines start with a little of the slowest boarding method you could intentionally design.
显然 这个视频马上会展示更快的登机流程
Now, obviously, this video will soon reveal faster boarding procedures.
你会想知道
And you will wonder,
为什么航空公司不用这种更快的方法?
“why don’t airlines use the faster methods?”
一个很可能的原因是经济利益
One possible answer is economic incentives.
头等舱的乘客花钱买特权
First class pays for perks —
有时候其金额是很惊人的
sometimes breathtaking perks for breathtaking amounts.
第一批登机的就是他们
And boarding first is one of them.
而且航空公司给每个人都设置了诚信积分
Also, airlines give everyone loyalty points that move you
促使你更多地通过这个航空公司买头等舱
up the class structure the more you fly with that airline.
这给了航空公司另一个招揽顾客的好理由
Which gives airlines another good reason to group people.
或许这能解释他们为什么不用这种
And probably helps explain why they switched away
你甚至不相信他们曾用过的更快的登机方式
from the older faster method you won’t believe they used to use:
[格雷广播]:
[Grey on microphone]:
“嘿 大家好 飞机在这里 请直行”
“Hey, everyone. Plane’s here. Go ahead.”
只发布指令让乘客去到预定的座位
Doing nothing and having people board the flight
其他什么都不做
in whatever order they show up…
要比让乘客排队登机效率高
… to get their assigned seat, is faster than organizing tidy boarding groups.
这是因为随机的人可能会随机地坐到各处
This is because random people are spread, well, randomly, …
增加了每次进到座位的人数
… increasing the chances of pullaways and parallels,
这不像其他航空公司采用的更有秩序的方法
unlike the more orderly methods airlines have switched to.
什么都不做
Man, it’s always frustrating to
比采取些措施有更高的效率
know that to literally have done nothing …
这一点可真是令人失望
… would be faster than the something that is done.
但是肯定还有还没发现的更好的登机方式
But surely there’s a better boarding group order to be found
如果我们可以抛弃恶意 对此问题多加思考
if we can just subtract malice and add thinking to this problem.
按靠窗 中间 过道将人们排成三组
Ahh! Three groups: window, middle, aisle. In that order.
这和进行三次随机登机原理相同
This is really the same as doing random thrice,
每次坐满机舱一排
one for each column of the craft…
但会稍快一些
… but the reason it’s a smidgen faster is
因为消除了其他会导致时间浪费的可能
because it eliminates the other source of boarding delay:
如让座位
Seat shuffles.
当人们随机登机 让座位将不可避免
When people board randomly, seat shuffling is going to happen a bunch.
当人们拥入靠过道的位置 队伍速度就会变慢
And when people spill into the aisle, it slows the queue.
如果按靠窗 中间 靠过道排序
Ordering everyone by window, middle,
就不会有让座位的情况了
aisle ensures a seat shuffle will never happen.
这似乎是一个很大的改进
This seems like it should be a big improvement.
但是当你模拟登机场景
But when you simulate boarding an aircraft
有很多实际的难题
with a ton of real math …
(而不是仅仅进行简化的设想)
(rather than just animating it in a dramatically simplified fashion)
或是做实际实验
… or do actual experiments,
比起行李 换座位可算不上一个大问题
the seat shuffle just isn’t a big deal compared to bag stowage.
人们带着可能大小不合适的包
People wrangling their one bag that won’t possible fit, …
或想带着三个包裹登机
… or trying to get onboard with three bags
因为他们认为规矩约束不了他们
because they don’t think the rules should apply to them, …
放完行李又翻出自己的电脑
… who then also fiddle around getting their laptops out after stowing them.
这样会耽误更多事情
Those kinds of delays count for much more.
窗户-中间-过道方案可能会
So, Window-Middle-Aisle is maybe a smidge faster
比随机方案略快一点 这样很好
than random, which is good …
并被一些航空公司应用
… and some airlines use this method,
使得他们的飞机上客效率更高
which gets their planes turned around faster than back-to-front …
也使得他们机组成员有事可做
… while still giving them boarding groups to play games with.
但大部分航空公司这两种登机方式都不用
The vast majority of airlines use either back to front or window-middle-aisle.
所以你下次登机时
So keep an eye out next time
注意一下会发生什么
you’re boarding a flight for which is happening to you.
我们还可以更深入吗?
But can we go farther?
将有不整洁且有异味的低阶层的人的现实世界
Leaving the real world: with its class systems and people, and untidiness and smells, …
上升到理想层面
… ascending to the platonic plain of physics, …
牛群环绕 人类这个细胞自动机会完全遵从指示
… where cows are spheres and people cellular automaton who will execute instructions perfectly.
在安塞拉
Here, in the Celestia,
理论上的最快登机方式是什么?
what is the theoretically fastest way to board a plane?
在这个层面上 这些情况是可能的
On this level, here is what’s possible:
[歌曲]
[The Nutcracker Suite, Op. 71a: VIII. Waltz of the Flowers]
[歌曲]
[The Nutcracker Suite, Op. 71a: VIII. Waltz of the Flowers]
[歌曲]
[The Nutcracker Suite, Op. 71a: VIII. Waltz of the Flowers]
为了实现目标 不会有登机组
To achieve this ballet, there are no boarding groups,
但是每个人都站着确定的位置
but everyone stands in an exact order.
从后往前 按 行 侧 窗口 交替登机
Back-to-front in alternating rows, on alternating sides, windows in.
这最大化了单行和双行
This maximizes pullaways and parallels.
必要地改变安排人们登机的方式
Pristinely packing people in a pinch.
但是这种形式对普通人
Witnessing such glory is too much
思想要求过高 不能长期实施
for mortal minds to bear for long…
所以我们被迫下降回俗世
… so we are forced to descend back down into the meat world.
一个有不和谐音和各种气味
The cacophony! The smell!
我们必须把猴子塞入试管的地方
Where we must stuff monkeys into a tube.
有家庭的猴子和孩子分开会导致混乱和清理
Monkeys with families, where separating their young invites chaos and cleanup.
这就是经济诱因划分并产生利益的地方
Where economic incentives divide and profit.
有时候即使尽最大的努力
And where, even at their best,
人类在遵从指示方面的无能也是惊人的
the human inability to follow instructions is breathtaking.
人类看到“登机组123”就会失控
Here, people, upon seeing ‘boarding group 123’, would flip the hell out.
更不用说让他们有序排队多不可能了
Let alone the impossibility of trying to get them to stand in line in order.
就算登机速度更快了
And where even if faster,
人们还是会数着秒针抱怨登机更慢了
like watching seconds of a clock, people would complain it was slower.
[格雷叹息]
[Grey sighs]
我们可能并不配拥有这样的礼物
Such gifts we were not meant to have.
但是我们还有完善制度提高
But is there a way we can modify
我们登机速度的方法吗
this perfection to improve our lot on this plane?
有的
Yes.
不按照确定的次序
Instead of exact order,
第一组都每隔一行地
boarding group the first would be all one side
坐在机舱的一边
of the plane in every other row.
然后第二组坐到另一边
Boarding group the second, the other side,
然后后一排 再后一排
then back, and back again.
一二三四 不能再要求更多了
One, two, three, four. We can’t ask people for more.
这个完美方法的轮廓在现实世界中
This shadow of the perfect method has a chance
有实现的机会 并有以下优点:
of working in the real world with benefits like:
能让拖家带友的人一起登机
letting humans with families and friends board together, …
而航空公司的登机组又能有所作为
giving airlines boarding groups they can still play with, …
而且仍然比目前的方法快
and still being faster than the current methods.
有更完美的登机方式 我们就能耗费更短的时间
Reaching for perfection, we will always come up short.
但是我们或许只能在过程中渐渐趋近
But perhaps we can manage to get closer in the process.
多谢Skillshare对本视频的大力支持
Thanks to Skillshare for making this episode happen in a quite literal way …
给我截止日期让我有紧张感
… by having a deadline looming over me
以至于我必须每次都做完
by which I absolutely had to get it done.
Skillshare是什么?
What’s Skillshare?
Skillshare是一个在线学习社区
Skillshare is an online learning community
上面有2万多节课
with over twenty thousand classes in:
设计 经商 科技等等
Design, Business, Technology, and more.
假如说你想学习
Say for example you wanted to learn how
如何创造自己的动画
to actually create your own animations, …
就像本视频中用到的一样
… like the ones used in this video.
Skillshare上有针对After Effects软件的课程
Skillshare has courses on After Effects,
甚至还专门有教你制作讲解视频的课程
even specifically how to create your own explainer videos.
Skillshare能帮你改善技巧 满足你的好奇心
Skillshare is here to help you improve your skills and satisfy your curiosity.
而且它还超级实惠
And it’s super affordable.
年费平均每月少于10美元
An annual subscription is less than $10 per month.
高级会员身份能让你无限制的观看优质课
And Premium membership gives you unlimited access to high-quality classes.
最先在skl.sh/cgpgrey2上注册的
The first 500 people to sign up
前500人能获得两个月的免费试用机会
at skl.sh/cgpgrey2 will get 2 months of Skillshare for free.
是skl.sh/cgpgrey2 别漏了“2”
That’s skl.sh/cgpgrey2 Don’t forget the 2.
“2”非常重要
The 2 is very important.
直接点进简介
Go there or click the link
给出的链接就可以开始学习你现在想学的
in the description to get started learning whatever you want to learn today.
让Skillshare知道你是看了本视频才去的吧
And to let Skillshare know that you came from this video.
哦 在你离开之前
Ohhh, before you go!
让我留给你一个恼人的想法
Let me leave you with an annoying thought.
你觉得从前往后排队登机
You know how boarding a flight from front to back row
是最慢的登机方法吗?
by row is the slowest possible method?
或者说收割者方法
The reaper method?
当你的航班结束后
Well, after your flight,
当飞机降落登机口的时候
when the plane pulls into the gate, …
大家都忽视了乘务员的警告
… and everyone ignores the flight attendant’s admonishments to wait
把安全带解开去拿他们的包
until the fasten seat-belt is off to grab their bag, …
而门打开后 我们怎么下机呢?
… and the door opens, how do we de-plane?
没错 从前往后 逐个下机
That’s right: front-to-back, row by row.
慢到不能再慢
No slower could we go.
为什么我们还在这里?
♪Why are we still here?
就是为了受罪吗?
Just to suffer?

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视频概述

更有效率的登机方式,以及其适用性和航空公司不使用更好登机方式的原因。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

未央

审核员

审核员_LM

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAHbLRjF0vo

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