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幸福的方程式

The Algebra of Happiness

成功者与失败者
Winners & Losers
这学期有170位MBA二年级学生
This semester, 170 second-year MBAs,
从德里的IT顾问到佐治亚雅典城的陆战队员
whose backgrounds range from IT consultants from Delhi to Marines from Athens Georgia
报名参加了品牌战略项目
are enrolled in brand strategy.
MBA第二年的项目是很特别的
The second-year MBA program is a unique place.
学员们有着极好的职业发展轨迹
The kids have incredible professional trajectory,
但是同时感到有些迷茫
while at the same time they’re a bit lost.
商学院学生大都是精英 聪明上进的成功者
Most people who come to business school are the elite, smart, hardworking achievers,
却缺乏目标
but aimless.
如果你真有目标
If you were certain what you wanted to do,
就不来商学院回炉了
you wouldn’t be back in business school.
我们经常改变品牌战略这个课程的主题
We often veer from the course topic, brand strategy.
我最喜欢讨论的还是:生活策略
What I’m most comfortable discussing: live strategies.
我没有任何学术或资格证书
I have no academic credibility or credentials
来证明自己能够为人们如何生活提出建议
that indicate I should counsel people on how to live their lives.
以为这样我就不说了么
Like that’s gonna stop me.
幸福曲线
The arc of happiness.
你的童年青少年和校园时代是由啤酒宿醉
Your childhood teen and college years are the stuff of han solo beer,
无保护性行为和自我发现组成
unprotected sex and self-discovery.
然而像魔法一般 从你20多岁到40多岁
Pure magic: from your mid 20s to your mid 40s however,
工作与压力一拥而上
gets real work, stress,
并且你意识到不论老妈给过你怎样的鼓励
and the realization that despite what your mom told you,
你的大名不太可能被印在星光大道或香水瓶上了
you likely won’t have a Hollywood star or fragrance with your name on it.
年龄渐长
As you age,
建立你应有那份生活的压力
the stress of building a life you’ve been told you deserve
开始产生负面影响
begins to take a toll.
50岁上下的时候 如果你条件不错
Then in your 50s or younger, if you’re so full,
你开始知足常乐 坦然接受死亡
you start to register your blessings, acknowledge your mortality,
并且开始享受你应得的幸福
and begin affording yourself the happiness you deserve.
所以成年后
So in adulthood,
如果你压力山大
if you find you’re stressed,
接受这是旅途中正常的部分
recognize this is a normal part of the journey,
坚持下去 幸福会等着你
and just keep on keeping on, happiness waits for you.
行动还是观望
Sweating vs. watching
你花时间流汗和花时间看别人流汗的比例
The ratio of the time you spend sweating versus watching other sweat
就是你能否成功的前瞻性指标
is a forward-looking indicator of your success.
一个人每晚看娱乐与体育节目
Show me a guy who watches ESPN every night,
花一整个星期天看足球赛
spends all day Sunday watching football,
而且从不健身
and doesn’t work out,
易怒 多次恋爱失败就在前方招手
and I’ll show you a future of anger and failed relationships.
另一个人每日流汗
Show me someone who sweats every day,
花和看体育比赛同样的时间运动
and spends as much time participating in sporting events as watching them on TV,
我告诉你这个人会过的很好
and I’ll show you someone who is good at life.
平衡之谜
The myth of balance.
我们都知道有些成功人士 身材好
We all know someone who’s successful in great shape,
玩乐队
plays in a band,
和爸妈关系好
is close to their parents,
是爱护动物协会志愿者
volunteers of the ASPCA,
还开了美食博客
and has a food blog.
假设你不是那种人
Assume you are not that person.
如果你想成为财富前10%的人
If you want to be economically in the top 10%,
更不用说财富前1%了
much less the top 1%,
就做好奋斗10到20年的准备吧
you should plan on spending 10 to 20 years working,
别无他法
and not much else.
大部分时候我能平衡好很多事情
I have a lot of balance now in large part,
然而二三十岁的时候 我几乎一无所有
because I had almost none in my 20s and 30s.
工作 伙伴 朋友
Work, partner, friends.
大多数学生不断努力
Most students devote their greatest efforts to
去工作 生活 交朋友
shaping the work, lives and socializing with their friends.
然而 你做的最重要的决定将会是
However, the most important decision you’ll make
选择谁成为你的伙伴来度过余生
is who you’ll choose to partner with for the rest of your life.
我有一些朋友 他们事业有成
I have several friends with impressive careers,
社交广泛还有一个相爱的伴侣
wonderful social lives and a spouse they love.
但是 他们并不开心 因为伴侣不是伙伴
But, they aren’t happy as their spouse isn’t their partner.
他们对生活和目标的追求不同
They are out of sync on their goals and approach to life.
我的另一些朋友不是很富有
My friends who have less economic success,
也没花大量时间社交
and spend less time with friends,
却有一个真正的伙伴共享挣扎与成功 着实幸福
but have a real partner to share their struggles and successes with are tangibly happier.
激情 价值观和金钱观
Passion, values and money.
据我所知 最好的婚姻要有三个同步
Best marriage partnerships I know of are synced up on 3 things:
第一 身体上互相吸引
1.They’re physically attracted to each other.
性和情感上互相吸引构建了独特的关系
Sex and affection establish your relationship as singular.
就像是说 我选择你
And say, I choose you.
你们还要确保价值观一致 比如宗教
2. You also need to ensure you align on values including religion,
想要几个孩子 育儿观念
how many kids you want, your approach to raising children,
以及家庭分工
and who handles which responsibilities.
金钱观也要达成共识
3. Money is also an important one for alignment.
家庭其他成员对金钱收入的贡献和预期
Does the others approach to and contribution and expectations
在日常开支这一项
about money flowing in and out of the household,
能否满足你的期望
full to your expectations?
地域与教育
Zip code plus credentials.
在美国也有种姓制度 就是受教育程度越高越好
We have a caste system in the US, higher education.
经济增长都集中在那些大城市周边
Economic growth is increasingly clustering around a handful of super cities.
这是经济增长的普遍规律
This is the peanut butter and chocolate of economic velocity.
我的建议很简单
Advice here is simple:
年轻的时候 多读书 去大城市闯闯
while young, get credentialed and get to a city.
随着年龄的增长 这些会越来越难
Both get difficult, if not impossible, as you get older.
总有些故事是关于乔布斯
There will always be great stories about Steve Jobs,
Jay-Z和其他辍学名人的
Jay-Z and other college dropouts.
再一次 假设你不是那种人
Again, assume you are not that person.
金钱与幸福
Money and happiness.
他们是相关的
There is a correlation.
在一定程度上钱能换来幸福
And money can buy happiness to a point.
当你一旦达到了一定的经济水平
Once you reach a certain level of economic security,
相关性就趋于平稳了
the correlation flattens.
所以 用尽全力工作吧
So, yes, work your * off
达到个人经济的稳定
and get some semblance of economic stability.
注意发现能给你带来幸福感的事情
But take note of the things that give you joint satisfaction,
然后在那些事情上投资
And start investing in those things.
复利(利滚利)
Compound interest.
爱因斯坦曾说过
Einstein is credited with saying
复利是宇宙中最强大的力量
“compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe”.
存钱是最重要的 尤其是那些不了解复利的人
The notion of putting money away is most important to the cohort that least understands it, young people.
年轻人 开始存钱吧 越早越频繁越好
Start putting away money, early and often.
就把这想象成魔法
Think of it as magic:
往你的魔法盒里放一千美金
put a thousand dollars into your magic box.
40年后 嘣 变成了一万到二万五
and in 40 years boom, it’s ten to twenty five thousand.
如果有一个这样的魔法盒
If you could have this magic box,
你打算放多少钱进去
how much money would you put in it?
找寻心中的“大猩猩”
Finding your gorilla,
感觉自己很男人对我来说是极有成就感的
feeling masculine has been hugely rewarding to me.
年轻时 给朋友们留下深刻印象
As a younger man, I felt masculine by impressing my friends,
和陌生美女发生性关系
having sex with strange women,
还有喝高了都会让我意气风发
and being ripped.
随着年龄增长
As I’ve gotten older,
成为家庭中慈爱而负责任的长者与支柱
being a loving and responsible head of household to provide for my family,
做一个好市民 行使投票权让我感到所向披靡
being a good citizen and voting makes me feel strong like bull.
所以 做个男人
And some, be a man,
既然成人就不要还把自己当男孩
and not a boy in a man’s body.
投资等于财富
Equity equals wealth.
只靠工资的话很难有安全感
It’s difficult to obtain economic security with just your salary,
你会自然而然随着收入变化调节生活水平
as you will naturally raise or lower your lifestyle to match your current income.
尽快买房子 股票
As soon as possible, buy property, stocks,
找个能被动存款的工作
and try to find a job that has forced savings
比如养老金 或者更好的
through a retirement plan, or better yet,
拿公司分红
options on the firm’s equity.
富有的定义是
The definition of rich:
非劳动收入大于花费
passive income, that’s greater than your burn.
我爸和他老婆 每年通过股票 退休金和社保收入五万
My dad and his wife receive about $50,000 a year from dividends, pension and social security,
然后一年花费四万
and spent 40,000 dollars a year.
他们很富有
They are rich.
我有一群朋友 一年能挣一百到三百万
A number of my friends earn between 1 and 3 million dollars
却有一个前妻外加几个在曼哈顿私立学校上学的孩子
have several children at Manhattan private schools, and ex-wife,
还过着一种霸道总裁的生活方式
and a lifestyle fitting of a master of the universe,
花掉了绝大部分收入
they spend most, if not all, of it.
他们其实很穷
They are poor.
三十岁的时候
By the time you’re 30,
你应该对你的花费有概念
you should have a feel for what your burn is.
年轻时关注薪水
Young people focus on their salary,
成熟后关注花销
adults focus on their burn.
酒精
Alcohol.
哈佛大学的格兰特研究是关于幸福的最大规模研究
The Harvard Grant Study is the largest study on happiness
他们跟踪调查300位19岁的人长达75年
tracking 300 19-year-old men for 75 years
探究让他们幸福或者不幸的因素
and looking at what factors made them less or more happy.
发现了一个比其他原因更易导致不幸的因素
Presence of one thing in a man’s life predicted unhappiness better than any other factor:
酒精
alcohol.
它会导致婚姻失败
It led to failed marriages,
事业受阻以及危及健康
careers coming off the tracks, and poor health.
我大学毕业的时候住在纽约
When I was just out of college living in New York City,
在摩根士丹利工作
and working in Morgan Stanley.
我每晚去各种高档酒吧买醉
I go out every night and get drunk at a very cool place
自我感觉是个成功人士
with what felt like other successful people.
那感觉很好
It felt natural.
然而 酒精也让我成了一个怂人
However, alcohol made me a mediocre person.
第二天我总要浪费美好的早晨
I would spend the better part of the next day
到处找会议室补觉 感觉糟糕透顶
feeling like * trying to find a conference room to grab an hour of sleep,
下午也就能有一小时感觉好点
only to feel well enough for an hour in the afternoon
晚上还会出去喝
to recommit to going out again,
喝醉到我的另一面展现出来
and getting drunk where Fun Scott would show up.
评估一下酒精对你的影响
Take stock of your relationship with substances.
如果它正在阻碍你的恋爱关系 工作和生活
If they’re getting in the way of your relationships, professional trajectory or life,
尽快处理
then address it soon.
物质与经历
Things vs. experiences.
研究显示人们高估了物质带来的幸福感
Studies show people overestimate the amount of happiness things will bring them,
同时低估了经历所带来的长期积极的影响
and underestimate the long-term positive effect of experiences.
开着现代带全家去非洲来一次野性之旅吧
In some, drive a Hyundai and take your family to Africa.
临终关爱与收获
A good death and return on investment.
除了孩子们
Other than my kids,
我最自豪的事情就是给了妈妈临终关爱
the thing I’m most proud of is giving my mom a good death.
我陪着妈妈在内华达州萨摩林的
I spent 8 months of my life living with my mom
德尔韦伯老年社区待了八个月
in the Del Webb Active Adult Community in Summerlin Nevada.
白天我照顾妈妈的身体
During the day, I’d manage my mom’s health care
陪她看弗雷泽的危机
and watch Frazier in jeopardy with her.
晚上我与生意人喝酒 与脱衣舞女寻欢
At night, I adventured to the strip and get drunk with entrepreneurs and strippers.
那是我人生最奇特也最满足的时光
It was a strange but rewarding time in my life.
照顾孩子时本能的满足感已经有文献证实
The instinctive rewards from nurturing children is well-documented.
然而为你所爱提供舒适的临终生活
However, providing comfort for someone you love at the end of their life
同样可以有深刻的满足感
is also deeply satisfying.
如果你正在为所爱能安详的离开而努力
If you’re in a position to make a loved one’s exit more graceful,
你的余生都会珍视这段经历
you’ll cherish it the rest of your life.
幸福等于家庭
Happiness equals family.
在平衡计分卡上
On a balanced scorecard,
最幸福的就是夫妻恩爱始终且有孩子的人
the happiest people are those in a monogamous relationship who have children.
原本我并不想结婚生子
I didn’t want to get married or have children,
仍然不相信有孩子才能幸福
and still don’t believe you need children to be happy.
然而 我可以说的是做一个像样的爸爸
However, I can say that being a decent dad,
和你所爱之人养育孩子
and raising kids with someone you love,
能够回答我们生而带来的那个问题
and who’s competent for the first time begins to answer questions we all struggle with.
具体点就是 我为何而来
Specifically, “why am I here?”.
成功等于克服失败的能力
Success equals resilience over failure.
每个人都会感受失败
Everyone experiences failure.
每个人也都会体会悲剧
Everyone experiences tragedy.
你可能被解雇
You will get fired,
失去心中所爱
lose people you love,
也很可能经历一段囊中羞涩的日子
and likely have periods of economic stress.
成功的关键是接受
The key to success is the ability to mourn,
然后继续前进
and then to move on.
我经历过婚姻失败 也体会过破产
I had a marriage fail, businesses go bankrupt,
还失去了那个时候唯一爱我的人 我妈妈
and lost the only person who, at that point, knew loved me: my mom,
这都发生在40岁前
all before I was 40.
但是受惠于良好的教育 仗义的朋友和一点天赋
But blessed with a great education, good friends, some talent,
还待在最发达的国家 美国
and the best zip code in the world, the United States,
于我而言 那些是障碍不是鸿沟
for me, these were obstacles, not barriers.
事情没有看起来那么好或那么糟
Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it seems.
市场的变动大于个人表现
Market dynamics trump individual performance.
所以你的成功与失败都不是全部取决于你
So, your successes and your failures aren’t entirely your fault.
年老时最想给年轻的自己的建议就是
The NO.1 piece of advice seniors would give to their younger selves
他们希望当年对自己没那么苛刻
is they wish they’d been less hard on themselves.
人生苦短的确需要负起责任
Your limited time here mandates you hold yourself accountable,
但是也要准备原谅自己
but also be ready to forgive yourself,
这样你才能抓住生命中重要东西
so you can get on with the important business of life.
作为一个无神论者 我相信
As an atheist, I believe this is it:
当到了生命的尽头
that when near the end,
我会望着孩子的眼睛
I will look into my kids’ eyes,
知道今世父子缘分将尽
and know our relationship is coming to an end.
但是没关系 这缘分也曾激励我
And that’s okay, as it motivates me.
认识到生命的有限也是一种福分
A recognition of the finite nature of life is a blessing.
这能使你更专注于爱与原谅以及找寻你心中的“大猩猩”
It focuses you on loving, forgiving and finding the gorilla.
我们下周见
We’ll see you next week.
点击查看上周的“成功者与失败者”
Click for last week’s Winners & Losers.
点击查看上一期的调查视频
Click for latest research video.

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视频概述

教你如何找到幸福

听录译者

红花老七

翻译译者

立冬_十年

审核员

审核员 D

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMW6xgPgY4s

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