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友谊的五个阶段——蜜友课1 – 译学馆
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友谊的五个阶段——蜜友课1

The 5 Tiers Of Friendship

欢迎来到《蜜友课》的第一堂课
Welcome to Lesson 1 Of The Bee Friend Course.
这门课会教你怎样交朋友
This is a course that will teach you how to befriend others,
怎样更讨人喜欢
to become more likable,
让你走到哪儿都能发展出深厚 有意义的友谊
and to gain the ability to form deep and meaningful relationships wherever you go.
在这门课的开头
We’re going to start off the course
我们将讨论生活中的5种人
by discussing the 5 types of people in our lives.
也可以说是友谊的阶段
Also known as the tiers of friendship,
因为就像金字塔一样
because just like a pyramid
多数人都在较低的阶段
the majority of the people will fall into the lower tiers
只有少数佼佼者才能登顶
while only a select few make it to the top.
请你一定要看完本视频
Make sure you watch this video till the very end
因为接下来的课程
because the rest of the course will be
会建立于这里讨论的概念之上
built upon the concepts we discuss here.
如果没看完本视频
You will have an extremely hard time
你将非常难以理解
understanding what we talk about down the line
我们之后在讲什么
if you do not watch the entire video.
明白了吗?
Ok?
我们开始吧
Let’s get started.
第一阶段是陌生人
The first tier is the stranger.
我们在生活中遇见的人多数都是陌生人
Strangers make up the majority of people that we encounter in our lives.
在上班的路上遇到的路人
You may have seen them passing by during your commute to work,
在超市里排在你前面的人
in front of you in the supermarket,
甚至一起上过课的人都是擦肩而过的陌生人
or they might even be someone that you happen to share some classes with.
陌生人之所以是陌生人
What makes someone a stranger is the fact
是因为你们从未真正地交往过
that you’ve never really interacted with them before.
你们或许交换过眼神 或许叫得出姓名
You might have exchanged glances, you might know their name,
但却从未交谈过
but you’ve never had a conversation with them.
你们承认彼此的存在
Both of you may acknowledge each other’s existence,
却仅止于此了
but that’s about it.
陌生人完全无法满足人类对交往的需求
Strangers do not fulfill our need for human interaction at all.
更高的阶段是熟人
The tier above this is the acquaintance.
多数人都有一堆熟人
Most people have a couple dozen acquaintances.
在过去你曾经和这些人
These are people that you’ve interacted with
有过几次交往
a couple of times in the past.
可能还和一两个人交谈过
You’ve probably had a conversation or two with them.
但只是寒暄而已
Most of the time it’s nothing special, just small talk.
偶遇时说声嗨 仅此而已
You say hi if you bump into each other, but that’s it.
你们从未一起出去玩过
You never hang out with these people,
就算有过 也是因为你们共同朋友的邀请
and if you do, it’s because a mutual friend invited them
而不是因为你
not because of you.
熟人几乎不能满足人类对交往的需求
Acquaintances do very little in fulfilling our need for human interaction.
在此之上的阶段是朋友
The tier above this is the friend.
多数人只有一小部分的朋友
Most people have just a handful of friends.
他们和你一起度过大把时光
Friends are people that you’ve spent a fair amount of time with.
你们有过好几次美好的交流
You’ve shared a couple of enjoyable interactions.
你们互相邀约参加活动和聚会
You invite each other to hang out at events and parties.
你和这些人有过多次交谈
These are people that you’ve had many conversations with.
多是些浅显的话题
Mostly surface level stuff
但你们已多少次的一同开怀大笑
but you’ve shared a decent amount of good laughs together.
在他们左右 你会感到舒服
These are people that you feel somewhat comfortable around.
朋友一定程度上满足了人类对交往的需求
Friends fulfill our need for human interaction to some extent.
下一个阶段是密友
The tier above this is the close friend.
多数人都仅有几个密友 一般是2-4个
Most people only have a couple of close friends. Like 2-4.
密友的友谊是经受住时间考验的友谊
Close friendships are friendships that have stood the test of time.
你与这些人
These are people that you’ve interacted with
已交往一年或以上
over the course of at least a year or more.
当你想出去玩的时候 首先想到的就是密友
Close friends are the first people that you think of when you want to hang out.
你主办的活动或聚会几乎都会邀请他们
They are almost always invited to any event or party that you host.
在他们左右 你非常的舒服
These are people that you feel extremely comfortablearound.
因此 你可能和他们分享了
And because of this you’ve likely shared
一些深藏于心 私人的秘密
some deep and personal secrets with them.
密友很好地满足了人类对交往的需求
Close friends fulfill our need for human interactionby a lot.
事实上 如果每个人都有一群密友
In fact, if all we have are a ton of close friends,
我们将会非常幸福
we’ll be pretty well off.
生活中只有极少数人
Now very few people in our lives will make it
能达到最后的阶段
into the last and final tier.
即重要他人
That of the significant other.
除了家人
With the exception of our families,
多数只有一个重要他人
Most people only have just 1 significant other.
重要他人是我们生活中最珍视的人
Significant others are the people that we value the most in our lives.
他们和我们度过的时光最长
They’re the ones that we spend the most time with.
谈话最为深入
The ones that we have the deepest conversations with.
是我们最为信任的人
The ones that we trust the most.
无论我们举办任何活动
These are the first people we think of
他们都是我们首先想到的人
when we host any sort of event.
多数时候
And for the most part these are people
他们是我们喜欢的人
that we share a romantic interest with.
如女朋友或配偶
Somebody like a girlfriend or a spouse.
当然是有例外的
Of course there are exceptions to this rule.
但他们总是很少的
But they are very rare.
因此
And because of this
所以要知道 我们不会过多讨论
it’s very important to note that we’re not going to spend too
怎样达到这个阶段
much time talking about how to get into this tier.
要知道 恋情的发展
See, developing a romantic relationship
和找到重要他人
and getting a significant other is a bit different
有些不同于发展寻常的友谊
from developing your typical friendship
这可能需要独立开课
and it would probably require it’s own course.
但这不意味着你不应重视此阶段
But this doesn’t mean you should not pay attention,
因为这门课的知识
because what you’re going to learn in this course
对达到最终阶段是极为重要的
will absolutely play a huge role in getting to this final tier.
我知道我说过友谊只有5个阶段
Now I know I said that there are only 5 tiers of friendship
但事实上还有2个阶段
but the truth is there are actually 2 more additional tiers.
但现在 我想快速地提一件事
But before we get into that I do want to mention something very quickly.
你们知道 我做培训
See, I’ve been coaching people
已经有一段时间了
for quite some time now
我发现了一件让人担忧的事
and I’ve noticed something very concerning.
多数上《自我驯服》课
The large majority of people who go through courses
和《蜜友课》的人
like the Tamed Course or the BeeFriend Course
并没有做出行动 取得收获
do not take action and reap the benefits.
事实上 据估计
In fact it’s estimated that 80 %
80%购买此课程的人不会完成它
of the people who purchase a course will either not finish
或者不会付出任何行动
the course or not take any action.
只有20%的人真正从中学到了东西
Only 20% of people actually get something out of it.
意识到这一点后 我决定做一种服务项目
Once I realized this, I decided to create some sort of service
来帮助真正想改变的人
to help those of you that really want to make a change.
有个培训项目我做了约一年
I’ve been working on a coaching program to go along
来支持《自我驯服》课
with the Tamed Course for about a year
而且正开始做
and have just started working
另一个教育项目来支持《蜜友课》
on an educational program to go along with the Bee Friend course.
如果你真的想要改变
If you are someone who is very serious about making change
愿意在自己身上投资
and you’re willing to invest money in yourself,
请在下方简介框注册我的邮件列表
please sign up for my mailing list in the description box below.
全面披露 如果加入邮件列表
Full disclosure, if you join this email list
你会收到要收费的
you will receive emails about future programs
未来的项目和服务
and services that are NOT FOR FREE.
这些服务会收费
These are services that will cost money,
而且会很贵
and we’re talking about a decent amount of money,
但却完全是值得的
but will be worth every penny.
它们能大幅提高你完成长期变化的机会
They’ve been designed to significantly increase your chances of making lasting change.
事实上 近一年来 我一直
In fact, I’ve been testing out the first program
在测试第一个项目
for close to a year and so far we’ve
并且取得了很棒的成果
had spectacular results.
重申:如果你有兴趣并愿意投资自己
So again if you’re interested and you’re willing to invest in yourself
链接就在下方简介框
the link is in the description box below.
好 那么还有两个阶段是什么呢?
Ok, so what are the two additional tiers?
第一个阶段是 我想称之为 中立阶段
The first one is a tier that I like to call the Neutral tier.
在你遇见一个素未谋面之人的
If you’ve never seen someone before, if you’ve just met someone.
最初几秒 就属于此阶段
They will initially fall into this tier for a couple of seconds.
此阶段只停留在
The reason people only stay in this tier
最初这几秒的原因是
for a couple of seconds is because that’s how
大脑需要这几秒钟的时间
long it takes for our brains to sort out
来判断一个人是潜在的朋友还是敌人
whether this person is a potential friend or a potential foe.
如果这个人不像
If the person is someone who doesn’t seem
会造成威胁的人
like they will pose a threat,
我们就会自动把他归为陌生人
then we will automatically sort them up into the stranger tier.
但如果他们发出错误的信号
However, if they are giving off the wrong signals
或留下某种印象
or they come off a certain way
我们就会自动把他们归为敌人阶段
we will automatically sort them into the foe tier.
我们认为敌人阶段的人可能会伤害到我们
The foe tier is reserved for people that we think could potentially hurt us.
你可能已经遇见过这样的人了
You’ve probably come across someone who looked out of it.
也许他们衣衫褴褛 或像是在嗑药一样
Maybe they were wearing rags or looked like they were on drugs.
也许他们看起来凶神恶煞 或像藏匿武器的人
Maybe they looked very angry or looked like they might be hiding a weapon.
我们的大脑会认为
The way our brain sees it,
像这样的人是个巨大的潜在威胁
someone like this is a huge potential problem.
可能在生理上或精神上伤害我们
Potential to physically or mentally hurt us.
因此 我们会潜意识地尽力避开他们
And because of this we will subconsciously try our best to avoid them.
如果有人被迫
If someone is forced to interact
与视为敌人的人打交道
with what they consider to be a foe they will enter
会进入一种对抗 逃离或冻结的极度不适的状态
a fight, flight, or freeze state which is extremely uncomfortable.
我们不会深入探讨它
We’re not going to dive too much into that,
但要注意的是
but what’s important to note is that
你们会希望尽可能避免此阶段
this is a tier that you want to stay out of as best as possible.
我们会在之后的一个视频详细讲解怎么做
And we’re going to cover exactly how in a future video.
现在我们学习了友谊不同的阶段
Now that we’ve learned about the different tiers of friendship,
但还有一个重要的问题
a very important question remains,
我们怎样才能在金字塔里往上走?
How exactly do we move up the pyramid. Right?
因为为了发展出牢固 有意义的关系
because in order to build strong meaningful relationships with people
我们需要发展出
we need to develop
在金字塔尽可能有效往上爬的能力
the ability to climb this pyramid as effectively as possible.
因此 在下节课
Which is why in our next lesson
我们将学习4个关键因素
we’re going to learn about the 4 key factors that determine
它们决定着在这些阶段往上爬的速度
how fast we can climb up these tiers
这些因素也被称为“友谊的公式”
also known as the Formula Of Friendship.
记得要订阅 并点击铃铛图标
Remember to subscribe and hit the bell icon.
因为帮助本频道最好的办法
Because the best way to help the channel out is
就是完成本课程 获得收获
by completing the course, reaping the benefits,
还有和我们一起让世界更美好
and helping us make this world into a better place.
重申:你们可以报名注册我的邮件列表
Again you can sign up for the email list
了解更多将来的项目和服务
to hear more about future programs and services
我会在下方简介框放上链接
I will be offering using the link in the description box below.
最后 请持续关注
Besides that guys, stay tuned.

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视频概述

陌生人,熟人,朋友,密友,重要他人 上一节课是《蜜友课——序言》,可在上方频道内查看。

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收集自网络

翻译译者

HE

审核员

审核员YZ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P_wJhPN2UA

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