If you’re still struggling with consent,
just imagine instead of initiating sex
you’re making them a cup of tea.
You say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?”
and they go “ oh my god, I would LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!”
then you know they want a cup of tea.
If you say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?”
and they’re like “ um I’m not really sure… ”
then you can make them a cup of tea or not
但是你要知道 就算你沏了茶 对方也不一定会喝
but be aware that they might not drink it,
and if they don’t drink it
then and this is the important part
don’t make them drink it.
Just because you made it
doesn’t mean you are entitled to watch them drink it
And If they say “ No thank you”
then don’t make them tea.
Just don’t make them tea,
don’t make them drink tea,
don’t get annoyed at them for not wanting tea.
They just don’t want tea, ok?
They might say“Yes please, that’s kind of you ”
and then when the tea arrives
they actually don’t want the tea at all
that’s kind of annoying
as you’ve gone to all the effort of making the tea
but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea
They did want tea, now they don’t
some people change their mind
in the time it takes to boil that kettle,brew the tea and add milk.
And it’s ok for people to change their mind
and you are still not entitled to watch them drink it
And If they are unconscious, don’t make them tea
Unconscious people don’t want tea
and can’t answer the question “ do you want tea”
because they’re are unconscious
好吧 可能在你问的时候 对方是清醒的
ok, maybe they were conscious when you asked them if they wanted tea
and they said yes,
但是在你烧完水 沏好茶 加完牛奶后
but in the time it took you to boil that kettle,brew the tea and add the milk
they are now unconscious
You should just put the tea down
make sure the unconscious person is safe
and this is the important part again
don’t make them drink the tea.
They said yes then，sure
but unconscious people don’t want tea
If someone said yes to tea, started drinking it
and then passed out before they’d finished it,
don’t keep on pouring it down their throat.
Take the tea away and make sure they are safe
Because unconscious people don’t want tea
Trust me on this.
if someone said yes to tea around your house last Saturday
that doesn’t mean that they want you to make them tea all the time.
They don’t want you to come around unexpectedly
and make them tea and force them to drink it
going “ BUT YOU WANTED TEA LAST WEEK ”,
or to wake up to find you pouring tea down their throat
going “BUT YOU WANTEDTEA LAST NIGHT”.
If you can understand
how completely ludicrous it is to force people to have tea when they don’t want tea
and you are able to understand when people don’t want tea
then how hard is it to understand it when it comes to sex?
Whether it’s tea or sex, Consent Is Everything.
And on that note,
I am going to make myself a cup of tea.