What’s been your biggest accomplishment you think?
Bouncing back number one is
refusing to listen to the negative shatter in my own head,
refusing to listen to other people’s perception of me,
creating something from absolutely nothing.
因此 你知道的 我出了书
so I got, you know, there’s the books,
there’s the TV, there’s… all that stuff,
but my biggest accomplishment is
being willing to give myself a thousand second chances,
and every time I got to 999, I press reset.
I didn’t ask permission, I gave notice.
有时 我不得不停下脚步 扪心自问
At some point I have to stop asking
自己杰出吗 卓越吗 稳当吗 还能被人们接受吗
can I be great, can I be brilliant, can I be okay and still be accepted.
I just stopped asking permission and just gave notice unapologetically.
Not in a braggadocious way.
Not in a way that shrunk anyone else.
In a way that said – I only got one life,
and I’mma ride this one till the wheels fall off.
And then all the other stuff came.
As a result of a decision I made.
Right, but it was a decision you…
It was a decision, but it was… it didn’t
come from, you know, a motivational experience.
It didn’t come from an inspiring teacher.
It came from hitting rock bottom.
好的 好的 我们来聊聊吧
Okay, okay, let’s talk about that cuz this was the thing
that when you and I were talking that really struck me,
because I have been there and I just wanted to hear
how you had turned it around,
because you can be rock bottom and turn it around.
That’s the best turnaround cuz that rock bottom hell,
there ain’t no other way to go.– Right, right.
–你必须振作起来 所以真的很棒–没错 没错
– You got to go up, so that’s great.– Right, right.
You climbed to the top. Tell everybody about this journey.
I struggled off to school.
The last time I took English class, I got fail,
and my English teacher said I was the weakest writer
she ever met in her entire life.
The last time I took a speech class, same year.
I got a D minus in speech
and my speech teacher used to say, Lisa, quote-unquote,
“I recommend you never speak in public that you get a desk job.”
So that was the beginning of my life.
That was the… that was my 19-year-old experience.
And then I go on and I’m trying to
figure it out, trying to figure it out.
I was obedient. I went and got a job in accounting.
I was in the collection department.
For seven years, y’all don’t know,
I’m dangerous to accounting.
I’m… I’m just dangerous.
And I’m in collections
and you know you should never put a broke person in collections.
Never, because everybody’s reasons sound good to me.
Not…not only I…
I know it sound funny, but it was real.
Not only did I say, “Girl,
don’t you worry about paying that.
I’mma take your name off the list.”
Somebody went to jail because I was in collections.
I got fired from five different jobs.
And then I got pregnant with my son unexpectedly
and then at eight months, my son’s father went to prison.
I had to get on government’s assistance to have my baby.
I was on WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) to feed my child.
And when my son was eight months old,
I went to the ATM to get $20 out the bank,
cuz I didn’t have any Pampers for him.
And in order to get $20 out, should get that $20 in.
I had $11 and 42 cents.
And I still can’t tell the story without
getting emotional cuz it’s my story.
For two days, I had to wrap my son in a towel.
But something happened in those two days.
我跌入谷底 我破产了 也崩溃了
I was at rock bottom, I was broke and I was broken.
Inglewood, California, my son laying on his back at eight months,
I have a towel over him,
and I have my hand on his stomach saying,
“Don’t you worry, Jaylani.
Mommy will never be this broke again.”
And I made a decision I was bankrupt.
And every stinking thinking I had,
I was bankrupt and trying to protect my pride.
I was bankrupt and trying to be all that
in a bag of chips and a bowl of grits falsified.
I was bankrupt and trying to not ask anyone for help.
I was bankrupt in everything.
That was holding me and keeping me where I was.
I’ve always talked a good game,
but I wasn’t doing anything with my gift.
And all that thing about potential,
我曾经厌倦拥有潜力 但现在 我想拥有
I was tired of having potential, I wanted to have mine now.
And I looked at that baby at eight months,
and I said I want to transform your life,
cuz you didn’t ask to come into this chaos.
As an African-American male child in South Central Los Angeles,
with a single mother, whose father’s in prison,
he had a 66% chance of going to prison himself.
Not on my watch, not on my watch.
So if I have to be willing to drastically transform myself,
so that I can become the woman that I know I can be.
And that’s what I began to do. I was radical.
What did you do, Lisa? What did you do to change your life?
First, er… I realized I couldn’t grow
with people who were struggling like me.
That whole I don’t wanna leave nobody behind?
No, I don’t wanna stay with y’all.
You don’t… you don’t even wanna be here.
I don’t wanna be the queen of this block.
And I became okay with the fact that
it doesn’t make me any less committed to my community,
committed to my culture, committed to my family.
The best thing I can do for you is not stay here with you.
When I’ve got that, I went to places I’d never seen before.
I went to conferences where people were talking about money,
talking about prosperity…
讨论……比如“no hablo espanol” 我也不知道是什么意思
talking about… it was like “no hablo espanol”, which I didn’t know.
投资回报率 百万分率 期协议
ROIs, and PPMs, and term agreements
and capital fund raising and bottom lines and…
What is it?
And I’mma stay until I learn what you’re talking about.
I went to the same conference 42 times.
And there I raised 532,000 dollars in capital
for my company to start my dream.
And my dream was to transform teen lives.
I wanna teach teens how to fall madly in love with themselves
and how to make integrity based decisions.
And I got it funded and I started working.
And that was the beginning of me rescuing myself.
I realized that I am my rescue.
No one else is my rescue.
Anybody could dream it, but you’ll never see it
until you’re willing to be committed to it.
I was telling somebody the other day
when I didn’t have anything.
Church didn’t have any members.
I’d get off work, working at Carbide.
And drive up the roads and work on the church
till I had to turn around and go back to work.
We worked when we didn’t have food.
We worked when we didn’t have lights.
I was putting my whole check in the offering,
all of it, trying to keep it going.
最终 招到员工后 我到路边做宣讲
When I finally got some staff, I went on the road preaching.
And whatever I made on the road preaching,
I brought it home to make the payroll of the staff.
And sometimes I got them paid and couldn’t pay me.
Commitments, looked like a fool.
Didn’t have any clothes.
Suits was falling off me.
Lining wore out my clothes.
Couldn’t send them to the cleaners.
Had to wash my suit in the washing machine.
They laughed at me.
Looked like an old raggedy country preacher.
I had holes in my shoes.
I couldn’t kneel down and pray
because if I knelt down to pray,
they would see holes in my shoes.
They laughed at me.
They said, “That boy’s lost his mind.
He’ll never be nothing.
He’s got a lisp when he speaks.
He’ll never be a preacher.”
I don’t care what you find.
If you are committed to what you believe…
If I think I cannot do it, I already cancel it.
You know, some really crazy things
I believe I can do it, I already do it.
Like jump over the building, jump…er…
crashed by the hovercraft, er…
jump from the like 72 feet high with no net.
Er… there’s so many things, so many things.
Even today I look at er… the old films,
look at myself,
sometimes agrees my… I’m glad
even I know I get hurt, I broke my ankle,
I’m so happy I did it.
If today I cannot do it anymore, yeah…
所以 不管你想做什么 不管你……
So whatever you want to do, whatever you…
我一直告诉学生 不管你们想做什么 就做……
I always tell the students whatever you do, do the…
when you’re young, do it.
You might get hurt.
Or you’re learning a piano,
you’re learning martial art
between…between ten or twenty.
十年时间 你能学习任何东西 ……这十年……
Ten years, learn whatever you can… those years…
Like me, I just do…
十年之后 现在是永远的 你学到的东西
Ten years later, now forever, the things you learn,
or the… the success I have forever.
别等到某天后悔 “啊 我应该马上做的 我应该……”
Don’t regret one day, “Ah, I should do it right now, I should…”
No, it’s too late.
Do it when you’re young.
I had three rules, pretty much that
I stuck with practically all the time.
I’d learned these prior to coming to UCLA,
and then I decided they were very important.
One must never be late, never be late.
Er… later on I had… I said certain things that
I had the players… if they were leaving for somewhere,
they had to be neat and clean.
There was a time when I…
I made them wear jackets and shirts and ties.
And then I saw our Chancellor coming to school in denims and turtlenecks.
And I thought it’s a little not right for me to keep this other…
so I let them just… had to be neat and clean.
And I had one of my… one of my greatest players
你们可能听说过 叫Bill Walton
that you probably heard of, Bill Walton.
He came to catch the bus.
We were leaving for somewhere to play.
And he wasn’t clean and neat, so I wouldn’t let him go.
He couldn’t get on the bus, he had to go home
and get cleaned up to get to the airport if he can.
So I was a stickler for that.
I believed in that. I believe in time, very important.
I believe you should be on time.
And I felt at practice, for example,
we start on time, we close on time.
The youngsters didn’t have to feel that we’re gonna keep them over.
When I speak at coaching clinics,
I often tell young coaches in the coaching clinics
more or less, they’ll be the younger coaches getting in the profession net.
And most of them are young, you know, and probably newly married.
And I tell them, “Don’t run practices late,
because you’ll go home in a bad mood,
and then that’s not good for a young married man to go home in a bad mood.”
When you get older, when you get older, it doesn’t make any difference, but…
So I did believe on time.
I believe starting on time. I believe closing on time.
And another one I had was – not one word of profanity.
One word of a profanity, and you are out of here for the day.
如果在比赛中 你要下场 坐在长椅上
If I see it in a game, you’re gonna come out and sit on the bench.
And the third one was, never criticize a teammate.
I didn’t want that.
And I used to tell them I was paid to do that.
That’s my job. I’m paid to do it.
Pitifully poor, but I am paid to do it.
Not like the coaches today, for gracious sakes, no.
It’s a little different than it was in my day.
But those were the three things that I stuck with pretty closely all the time.
And those actually came from my dad.
That’s what he tried to teach me and my brothers at one time.
You are responsible for your life.
I’ve known this. I’ve known this since “The Color Purple”.
我可能告诉过你这个故事 在1985年 我看了《紫色》
In 1985, I probably told you this story when I did “The Color Purple”,
but in 1985 I did “The Color Purple”.
Larry 在那之前 我读了这本书
Prior to that, I had read the book, Larry.
This is… this is when I got the secret thing,
but I didn’t know it was called “The Secret”.
I read the book “The Color Purple”,
and then went out and got books for everybody else I knew,
and I was obsessed about this story, obsessed about it.
在我吃饭 睡觉 思考时 脑海里都是《紫色》
I ate, slept, thought, all the time about “The Color Purple”.
I moved to Chicago.
I get a call from a casting agent,
asking would I like to come and audition for a movie.
I’ve never gotten a call in my life
from anybody for a movie or anything like that.
And I say, “Is it ‘The Color Purple’?”
他说 “不 是部叫《月之歌》的电影”
And he says, “No, it’s a movie called ‘Moonsong’.”
我想 好吧 我一直都想要《紫色》
And I go, well, I’ve been praying for “The Color Purple”.
And I go to the audition and of course it was “The Color Purple”.
I audition. I don’t hear anything for months.
And I go to this… this fat farm and I think it’s because I’m fat,
because I was about 212 pounds at the time.
And I think I didn’t get the call back because I’m so fat.
我待在减肥中心 祈祷 哭泣
And I’m at this fat farm and I’m praying and crying,
saying to God, “Help me let this go.”
Because I wanted to be in this movie so much.
I wanted it, I wanted it, I wanted it.
I thought I was gonna be in the movie.
There are all these signs that I should be in the movie.
我去了减肥中心 祈祷 哭泣
And I go to this fat farm and I’m praying and crying.
And as I’m on the track singing the song,
“I surrender all, I surrender all,
一切属于你 我神圣的救世主 我放弃了一切”
All to Thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.”
I am singing that song, praying and crying.
A woman comes out to me and she says…
on the track, it’s raining,
and she says, “There’s a phone call for you.”
And the phone call was Steven Spielberg saying,
“I wanna see you in my office in California tomorrow.”
Now, what I learned from that,
that moment absolutely changed my life forever,
because I had drawn “The Color Purple” into my life.
I didn’t know Steven Spielberg.
我不认识Quincy Jones 1984年他在芝加哥看见了我
I didn’t know Quincy Jones, who saw me in Chicago.
In 1984, he was… he was there for a lawsuit
that was being filed against Michael Jackson,
because he’d been working on his “Thriller” album.
And he saw me on “A.M. Chicago”
and said, “That’s Sofia.”
Now I didn’t know him.
I didn’t know anybody that had anything to do with that.
But I knew that I had drawn that into my life
and it changed the way I thought about my life forever.
… a dead son-in-law, Miss Celie?
You keep on advising him like you doing.
It is very true that the way you think creates reality for yourself.
There are other factors going on,
so it’s not everything,
but you really can change your own reality
based on the way that you think.
Yeah, I’m graduated college
and I have, you know, this degree in fine arts,
and my dad saw me coming and going to work every day,
and he was like, “What are you doing?”
我会说 “谋生” “你在说什么”
and I was like, “Making a living”, “What are you talking about?”
And I was in a transitional period,
because my son’s father and I, we had just broken up
and I had this degree and I was just living.
And my dad saw it and he was like,
“How do you expect to catch fish on dry land?”
And I was like… why he always spoke in metaphors.
I was like, “Can you just speak plain English?”
He was like, “How are you gonna get acting jobs,
when they’re not here? You need to go to LA where the jobs are.”
所以 我们家办了个派对 然后破产了
So my family threw a party. We were broke.
They raised $700 and I moved to LA,
and I took my son and my dad, may he rest in peace.
He was like, “Maybe you should leave Marcell here.”
我说 “我不会丢下我的儿子 这是我的骨肉”
And I was like, “I’m not leaving my son. It’s my kid.”
Then I got out and freaked out.
I said, “Maybe I should send him back.”
我父亲说 “不 这是你的福气
And my dad was like, “No, that’s your blessing.
He’s your blessing. He’s gonna keep you focused.
你是对的 你的直觉是对的 你应该带着他“
You were right. Your instinct was right. You should have taken him.”
所以 靠那700美元 我儿子现在21岁了
So $700. My son is now 21.
He’s in school now.
Right and look at me…
So, that’s a good story… a very good story.