Imagine you arrive at a party,
but your friends are nowhere to be seen.
So you have two options:
the obvious one of staring mindlessly at your phone,
or the terrifying one of talking to strangers.
Even if you want to reach out,
you might worry”what if they don’t like me?
What if I come off as awkward?
What do I even say to them?”
Never fear: recent research suggests
that new acquaintances actually like you more than you think
– and that talking to strangers can lead to a boost in happiness.
But, it can be hard to get started!
Luckily there are some psychological tips you can use to master small talk.
幸运的是 这里有一些心理学技巧 可以帮助你掌握闲谈
I’m Vanessa and you’re watching BrainCraft,
where we explore the psychology in your everyday life
First you’ve probably experienced the liking gap.
In a recent study, researchers paired up two strangers to have a conversation.
在最近的研究中 研究人员把两个陌生人放在一起 并让他们产生对话
They asked each person to rate how much they liked their partner
and how much they thought their partner liked them.
People consistently underestimated how much people liked them
and enjoyed their company
Researcher called this “the liking gap”.
So try not to worry about what people think
They probably like you more than you realise!
Though you may still be wondering:
How do you actually make small talk?
Well,start by asking more questions!
People who ask more questions during conversation have been rated as more likable.
Questions like “what do you do?” can be pretty dull.
Instead, try to get to know the other person by asking:
What do you do for fun?
What’s the best thing that’s happened to you this year?
or what are you looking forward to?
What excites you?
And remember that it’s important to stay engaged in the conversation!
Asking follow-up questions is important – this shows you’re actively listening.
So, if the person mentions that they like traveling,
ask where they’ve been or
where they’re going next.
In a recent speed-dating study,
those who asked more follow-up questions were more likely to get a second date.
And give people your full attention – your actions matter too.
Studies have shown that people who texted during a conversation were seen as
less polite and attentive,
so put your phone away.
Now you STILL might think that making small talk is
about as much fun as swimming with sharks,
but it can actually have a lot of benefits for your professional and personal life!
For example, experts estimate that 3 out of 4 jobs are found through professional networking
举个例子 专家估计 3/4的工作是通过职业社交网络找到的
rather than a job ad.
And small talk can actually increase your sense of belonging.
Research has found that people report feeling happier
研究发现 与调酒师 咖啡师这类的人聊天
when they chat with someone like a bartender or a barista
and treat them more like an acquaintance than a stranger
Even though you may think that making small talk is unpleasant,
people report liking it more than they expected.
Just like any other skill,
you can improve your small talk if you work at it.
Casual interactions can be really positive experiences!
So with some practice and these tips
You can enjoy the big benefits of small talk.
If you still do not want to talk to people. Try conversations with dolphins
They are super intelligent,display kindness
and can be found in the documentary of the same name on curiosity stream
They were the sponsor of today’s episode.
They are a subscription streaming service with more than 2400 documentaries
non-fiction titles and originals for you to watch
For BrainCraft viewers, the first 30 days are completely free
if you sign up at CuriosityStream.com/braincraft
and use the promo code “braincraft”,
Imagine you arrive at a party,