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手足之情如何影响孩子的一生

Sibling Dynamics: How Brothers and Sisters Affect Each Other

Most people have a sibling,
大多数人都有兄弟姐妹
in fact, children in the U.S. today are more likely to grow up
事实上 今天美国的孩子 可能更多是在兄弟姐妹
with a brother or sister than with a father.
而不是父亲的陪伴下长大
Now, while a lot of social scientists research
如今 虽然有许多社会学家
the impact of schools and parenting,
研究学校和父母对孩子成长的影响
little attention is given to a relationship that might be even more consequential.
却很少会关注这种影响更为深远的关系
So what do we know about siblings, birth order,
那么 我们对兄弟姐妹 他们的出生顺序有哪些了解?
and why children from one family grow up to have very different personalities?
为什么一个家庭长大的孩子 性格如此不同?
Let’s start with our analysis of the tragic story
让我们从西方历史上著名的
of the two most famous brothers in Western history.
两兄弟间的悲剧故事开始分析
Once upon a time there was a boy named Cain
很久以前 有个叫该隐的男孩
who received all the love and attention from both of his parents.
他得到了父母全部的关注 全部的爱
Growing up, the boy knew only one world
随着他渐渐长大 他的认知里只有一个世界
and he himself was at its center.
而自己就是这个世界的中心
Everyone around him cared only for him and nothing else.
周围每个人唯一在意的只有他 没有别人
All that changed when his mother gave birth to Abel.
母亲生下亚伯后 一切都变了
Cain should have understood that his parents’ attention
该隐应该意识到 父母的关爱
now had to be divided between him and his brother.
现在要分给他和弟弟两个人
This was a revelation he wasn’t able to accept
这是他无法接受的事实
and he became increasingly jealous
他变得越来越嫉妒
and sometimes even violent against his little brother.
甚至有时候对弟弟暴力相向
Cain, as the first born, naturally looked up to his father as his role model.
该隐 作为长子 自然将父亲视为榜样
Following convention, the father himself raised the boy with certain expectations.
按照惯例 父亲也寄予他一定的厚望 来培养他
It was therefore especially painful for Cain
因此 看到父亲现在如此关心年幼的弟弟
to see that his father now cared so much for his younger brother.
让该隐格外的难受
Abel, naturally, looked up to his brother for guidance.
亚伯 自然地仰望着哥哥 听从他的指挥
Things were not easy for him either,
事情对他来说也并不容易
but unlike Cain, Abel knew no different.
但和该隐不一样 亚伯没觉得有什么不同
As the boys grew up, Cain gained a strong sense of responsibility
儿子们长大了 该隐有了强烈的责任感
and following tradition took over the family farm.
依照传统 他继承了家里的农场
Abel, who was free from any obligation,
亚伯 没有任何责任的束缚
chose to become a shepherd.
他选择做了牧羊人
Cain envied his younger brother’s autonomy,
当农夫的日子越发艰难
because life as a farmer became increasingly difficult.
该隐嫉妒起弟弟的独立自主
And on the day the brothers were to make a gift to their father,
在兄弟们要给父亲礼物的那天
Cain only brought a few bundles of dry grass.
该隐只拿来了几捆干草
Abel, who did well for himself, brought an entire lamb.
亚伯准备得很用心 他拿来了一整只羊
When the father thanked Abel for his generosity, Cain felt a deep shame.
父亲对亚伯的慷慨很是欣慰 这让该隐深感羞愧
Overnight his shame turned to hatred of monstrous proportions
一夜之间他的羞愧变成了满腔憎恨
and the next day he killed his own brother.
于是 第二天他杀死了自己的亲弟弟
The first big contribution to the field of sibling research
在手足之情领域 首次做出重大贡献的
came from the Austrian psychiatrist Alfred Adler,
是奥地利精神病学家阿尔弗雷德·阿德勒
and his theory of individual psychology.
以及他创立的个人心理学理论
Adler believed that the main motive of human behavior
阿德勒认为 人类行为的主要动机
is our desire for power,
就是我们对权力的渴望
partly in compensation for our feeling of inferiority.
这在一定程度上 也是对自卑感的一种弥补
Hence, sibling dynamics play a central role in family life
因此 我们成长中 兄弟姐妹间的动态
and personality development as we grow up.
在家庭生活和人格发展中起着核心作用
Adler argued that children who grow up in the same family
阿德勒认为同一个家庭长大的孩子
experience the family differently.
对家庭生活的感受不同
In particular, sibling rivalry over family resources
尤其是 兄弟姐妹之间对家庭资源的争夺
influences the development of personality.
影响着他们的人格发展
As a means of reducing competition, siblings differentiate,
为了减少竞争 兄弟姐妹开始分化
develop different qualities and choose different interests.
形成不同的品质 选择不同的兴趣爱好
When siblings don’t find their niches,
如果兄弟姐妹没有找到各自的定位
their relationship can suffer.
他们的关系将面临危机
The Kellogg brothers hated each other,
家乐氏兄弟憎恨彼此
and fought in court over who invented Corn Flakes.
为争执谁发明了玉米片而对簿公堂
The Dasslers competed in business,
达斯勒兄弟在生意上互争高下
after one started Adidas, the other founded Puma.
在一个创立阿迪达斯之后 另一个创立了彪马
But many siblings love each other more than anything.
不过 很多手足对彼此的爱远胜一切
So what do we know about siblings in general?
总的来说 我们对手足关系有多少了解呢?
Here 6 things science suggests to be true:
这6件事 得到了科学证实:
First born and single children look up to their father or mother as role models.
长子和独子以他们的父母为榜样
The gap in mental and physical development between them and their parents
他们和父母在身心发展上的差距
may be the reason that they have, on average, a higher IQ.
大概就是他们的平均智商更高的原因
Parents tend to give their first born more attention and often set higher expectations.
父母往往给予长子更多的关爱 更高的期望
If they can’t live up to those expectations, they may feel inferior,
要是孩子没能达到这种期望 他们会感到自卑
but on average, they seem to benefit from their position.
不过通常来看 他们更多的是因此获益
Younger siblings model their development after their big brothers or sisters.
年幼的弟妹以哥哥姐姐为榜样而成长
They have a smaller developmental gap to overcome.
他们要跨越的成长差距要小一些
They may also feel that they have less to prove,
他们觉得自己需要证明东西较少
but as a result of a lack of parental attention,
但因为缺少父母的关注
they develop social anxiety more often.
他们更有可能出现社交恐惧
On average, relationships between brothers are more conflicted.
通常 兄弟间更容易发生冲突
Relationships between sisters are more intimate.
姐妹间的关系则更为亲昵
Siblings spend more time together than they spend with their parents,
和父母相比 兄弟姐妹相伴的时间更长
younger siblings even twice as much.
幼年手足在一起的时间甚至是两倍之多
Children with siblings are physically more active and less often obese.
有兄弟姐妹的孩子更有活力 也很少发生肥胖
They are often happier too.
他们也往往更加快乐
Some studies suggest that they develop social skills faster
有些研究表明 和独生子女家庭的孩子相比
than children from only child families, but the research isn’t conclusive.
他们社交技能发展得更快 但结论尚未证实
Sibling attachment seems to be a strong predictor of well-being,
手足之情似乎是幸福感的一项强有力指标
sometimes more important than paternal attachment.
有时候比父母亲情还要重要
This also means that if one is bullying the other,
这也意味着 如果一个孩子欺负另一个
it can affect them for life.
将会影响他的一生
One Swedish study of people aged 80 years found
瑞典有一项对80岁人群的研究发现
that while closeness to friends did little for total life satisfaction,
亲密友情对人生满意度的影响微乎其微
feeling close with a sibling did a lot.
但亲密的手足之情 却有着重要的作用
For those of you struggling with a difficult sibling, Adler had the following advice:
对那些正在与难搞的兄弟姐妹纠缠不休的人 阿德勒建议:
“A simple rule in dealing with those who are hard to get along with
“和不易相处的人搞好关系的一个简单的原则
is to remember that this person is striving to assert his superiority;
就是记住 这个人正在争取自己的优越感
and you must deal with him from that point of view.”
你得从这个角度出发和他相处”
This and all other Sprouts’ videos are licensed under the Creative Commons.
Sprouts 视频均已获得共享许可
That means teachers from all around the world can use them in classrooms,
世界各地的老师可将其应用于线下课堂
online courses or to start projects
在线课程或项目中
and today thousands already do!
现在已有数千人正在使用
To learn how it works and download this video without Ads or background music,
了解更多及下载无广告干扰的视频
checkout our website or read the description below.
请查看我们的网站或阅读详情
If you want to support our mission and help change education
如果您想支持我们的任务 帮助改善教育环境
visit our Patreon — that’s patreon.com/sprouts.
请访问我们的官网patreon.com/sprouts

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视频概述

很多人都有兄弟姐妹 我们对手足亲情有哪些了解呢?看过本期视频 也许你对兄弟姐妹的看法会有改观呢

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Gina

审核员

审核员TL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiwi1JZ-ZiU

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