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虚心使人进步

Psychology of feedback: How to give or receive valuable critique | Melanie Katzman | Big Think

反馈心理学:如何给予或接受有价值的批评
I encourage people to provide feedback to one another. It’s a gift.
我鼓励人们互相提供反馈 这是一份礼物
It’s also often part of your job.
这也常常是你的职责之一
But too often, we don’t go far away enough.
但通常 我们做得远不够
So I suggest that we create psychological contracts.
所以我建议建立心理契约
You don’t do it with everybody,
你无需跟每个人都这样
but it’s an opportunity to agree
但这是一个用安全而放心的方式
to exchange extremely honest feedback
经双方同意
by mutual consent in a safe and trusting way.
交换最诚挚意见的机会
There’s a number of different ways in which you can do that. One is in the immediate.
建立契约的方式有多种 一种是即时性的
I say to somebody who I trust, whose opinion matters to me
我对自己信赖并重视其看法的人说
“I’m getting up on stage,Let me know afterwards
“我要上台了 一会儿告诉我
Was I clear? Did I give too much information, too little information?
我讲清楚了吗 我讲的内容太多了还是太少了
Did I move too much? Did I engage with the audience? Tell me the truth.”
我说得太快了 和观众互动了吗 跟我说实话”
That’s an immediate request for honest feedback
这是对真实反馈的即时请求
and we are creating a psychological contract.
也是在建立一种心理契约
You’re not going out of bounds if you tell me exactly what you think.
把你所想的原原本本告诉我 你并没有越界
I also tell people if they’re going into a meeting,
我也告诉去开会的人们
pick the person who’s going to pull on their ear to let you know you’re going off topic,
选一个会拉耳朵暗示你跑题的人:
whether your data is really not holding up in that room
你的数据是否站得住脚
and getting an immediate sense from somebody,
从某个人那里得到一种即时感受
the unvarnished truth about what’s going on.
他会不加掩饰地告诉你当时的状况
The other way in which we negotiate psychological contracts is
另一种达成心理契约的方式是
to create a space within the group that you’re working
在你的工作团队中营造一种氛围
to say we’re going through big changes in our company right now.
展现公司正经历着的巨大变化
There’s going to be a lot of noise in the hallways,not everyone’s going to like what we’re doing
会有很多闲言碎语 不是所有人都喜欢我们的事业
but when we come into this room we’re going to share
但进到这个房间后 我们会分享
what we’re hearing, how we feeling, and we’re going to working through that together.
听到的和感受到的 我们会一起克服困难
So it is creating a safe space.
这就是创造一种良好的氛围
it’s agreeing this is where we’re going to bring that information
大家同意我们把信息带到这里
and understand that not everything’s going to be pretty,
并理解不是什么消息都很美好
but we have mutually consented to having that sharing.
但我们彼此都同意能够有这样的分享
So, when we establish a psychological contract this is not a written agreement.
我们建立的心理契约不是书面协议
This is an agreement between people,
是人与人之间的协议
preferably, I look you in the eye or I speak to you directly
最好是 我正视着你或直接对你说
and I ask permission and you give it to me.
你答应了我的请求
It doesn’t exist, by the way, forever; you have to renew those contracts.
顺便说一下 这契约不是永久的 你得续签
You can negotiate them for the moment. You can negotiate them over a period of time.
你可以现在就商议契约 过段时间也行
I say to you, “I know you’re coming up for promotion.
我对你说 “我知道你就要升职
I’d really like to help you get to where you need to go.
我真的想助你一臂之力
Would you like me to give you feedback on a more ongoing way?”
你想让我再继续给你反馈吗?”
I’ve asked you. You’ve given me permission. We’ve now contracted that
我问过你 你也同意了 我们约定好
over a period of time, with a particular goal in mind
在未来一段时间内 带着特定的目标
we’re going to have continual exchanges.
我们会有持续的交流
You’re going to expect that feedback from me
你期望从我这里得到反馈
And I’m going to take on the responsibility of delivering that to you regularly and clearly.
我也会承担起 定期清晰向你传递反馈的责任
In the absence of negotiating that contract
如果没有就契约进行协商
people can feel as if they have been impinged upon,
人们会觉得自己好像被冒犯了
that you are going beyond what is socially accepted
你正超出社会或人际交往
or interpersonally comfortable.
所能接受的舒适范围
So, be clear, be mutual, and then be extremely candid.
所以 要一清二楚 彼此协作 还要直言不讳

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视频概述

心理契约是人与人间的协议,可以通过“直接的”或“打造一个安全的空间”的方式,给予或接受彼此真诚的反馈。

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w12i6FNJvd4

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