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心理学 – 如何相信自己(生命心理学) – 译学馆
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心理学 - 如何相信自己(生命心理学)

Psychology - How To Believe In Yourself Again (Psychology of Life)

我小的时候每个人都告诉我不要作演员
When I was younger everybody told me not to be an actor.
而今天我也会告诉那些
To this day I say that to people who come up to me
想要从事演艺道路
and say I’m thinking of going into acting
并来询问我看法的人 就是
and say I’m thinking of going into acting
绝对不要作演员 演艺道路并不好走
I say absolutely not. It’s a terrible idea.
别做这行因为
Don’t do it because that’s
当时每个人都曾这样对我说 而且我认为如果
what everyone said to me. And I think if
你真的打算以此谋生
you’re gonna make it in this business
你会遇见数不清的拒绝与挫折
that is so full of rejection and hardship.
你需要相信自己
You need to believe in yourself
不管你爱的人和你相信的人说什么
despite what everybody you love and trust tells you.
因为这是你自己的选择
And and it’s a very personal journey
这个做法很管用
and so so that was really helpful.
我觉得这个让人
I think you know the advice to
这个远离演员行业的建议真的很有用
stay away from this career was really helpful.
我认为它在我的职业生涯中
In my own understanding,
也起到了无比关键的作用
that it was that important that I pursue it.
如果你想成功过上
If you’re going to be successful in
梦想中的生活
creating the life of your dreams.
你一定要相信你有能力将它变成现实
You have to believe that you are capable of making it happen.
你要相信你万事俱备
You have to believe that you have the right stuff
而且你能顺利做成这件事
and that you’re able to pull it off.
现在不管你把这称为自负
Now whether you call it self-esteem,
自信还是厚脸皮
self-confidence or self-assurance,
这是一种根深蒂固的信念
it’s a deep-seated belief
就是你拥有一切: 能力
that you have what it takes: the abilities,
精神财富 天分
inner resources, the talents and the skills
以及达到预期效果的技巧
to create your desired results.
如今相信自己只是一种态度
Now believing in yourself is simply an attitude.
相信自己是一种选择
Believing in yourself is a choice
你要选择去相信
you have to choose to believe
只要下定决心 就什么都能做到
that you can do anything you set your mind to.
所有的一切都能做到 因为你有这个能力
Anything at all because in fact you can.
这种方式真的可以帮助你
It might help you to know that.
如今最新的脑部研究表明
The latest brain research now indicates
充分积极的自我谈话 正面想象
with enough positive self-talk, positive visualization
结合恰当的锻炼 指导和练习
combined with proper training, coaching and practice,
可以让你学会任何事情
anyone can learn to do almost anything.
我采访过上千位成功人士
I have interviewed thousands of successful people.
而他们中几乎每个人
And almost every one of them
都曾跟我说他并不是
has told me I was not the most
所在领域中 最有天分或最有才能的人
gifted or the most talented person in my field.
但是他却选择相信一切皆有可能
But I chose to believe that anything was possible
因为他比别人在学习 练习
and because of that I studied, I practiced
以及工作方面付出了更多的努力
and I worked harder than the others.
而这也是他取得成功的原因
And that’s how I got to where I am.
你知道鲁本·冈萨雷斯
You know Ruben Gonzales,
二十岁时住在德克萨斯
a twenty-year-old, living in Texas
一个非常炎热的城市 而他却选择了无舵雪橇
hot Texas can take up the luge
这是项冰雪运动 他还成为了奥运会运动员
which is a winter sport and become an Olympic athlete.
如果说比尔·盖茨大学辍学
If Bill Gates was a college dropout
却可以成为亿万富翁
can become a multi-billionaire.
还有阅读障碍症的史蒂芬·J·坎内尔
And stephen j cannell who was a dyslexic student
他上学时在三个年级都成绩不合格
who failed three grades in school
但却能成为畅销书作家和电视节目制片人
can become a best-selling author and television producer,
那么你们也可以做成任何事情
then you two can accomplish anything
只要你相信它是可能的
if you’ll simply believe it’s possible.
所以现在就下定决心
So make the decision right now to
相信自己有能力
believe that you create all of your
实现所有的目标
experiences because you do.
让我们通过相信自己的能力
Let’s start creating the ones you want
过上理想中的生活
by believing you can.
虽然这听起来有些奇怪 但只要肩负起
Sounds a little strange but accepting this level of
这种的责任就一定会感到一种独特的力量
responsibility is uniquely and inevitably empowering.
也就是这种力量让你去改变
It means you can do change
并且成就自我
and become anything at all.
当你向任何一个赛事的大满贯更进一步时
It’s incredible how the excitement is
那种兴奋雀跃的感受 令人难以置信
rising as you approach any grand slam
而对我而言这场在巴黎的比赛
and especially for me here in Paris the
就是如此 虽然最后输了
one that I didn’t win.
这次比赛 从来到巴黎
It’s completely different feeling coming
到为法网做准备
to Paris and preparing for Roland Garros
都和之前的比赛有着完全不同的感觉
than any other event really.
不是说压力或者期待
Nothing terms of pressure and expectations but
而是那种兴奋感 想在赛场上尽情角逐
just in terms of excitement and getting on the court competing
想知道自己究竟能走到多远
and trying to see how far I can get.
但是有一点是我非常期待的
But that’s something I look forward to really.
我已经在许多比赛中积累了积分
I mean i’ve been building building up and
在很多比赛赢得了冠军
winning a lot of matches
而且我现在的世界排名
and putting putting myself in really position
比以往任何时候都要高
that maybe I never had before.
这场比赛正是我的排名最高的时候
Prior you know prior to Roland Garros.
我真心希望可以在今年完成法网大满贯
So you know hopefully this is the year .
但我不能做任何保证
I don’t i can’t guarantee anything, I can’t
我也无法预测什么 也不能说这个赛季
predict anything, I can’t say how the term
的情况如何 我只能努力
is going to go but i’m going to try to
给自己一个理由
get myself you know give myself a reason
通过每天的自我鼓励和自我约束
to believe i can make it through an
去相信自己可以成功
everyday commitment and discipline.
如何才能更加相信自己
How can I believe in myself more.
你知道有时候我们会被打倒
You know sometimes we get knocked down
有时候我们会苦苦挣扎个几天
sometimes we just struggle for days or
几周甚至挣扎数十个年头
weeks or months or decades.
我们就像是在某个地方
You know and we have that like, I just lost
失去了相信自己的能力
faith in myself somewhere. I was so
我们在青春年少 在二三十岁时
confident in my in my teens or or my
甚至在任何时候都无比自信
twenties or thirties or whenever
但如今却把这个护身符弄丢了
And now I lost my mojo. Man I just don’t
在随波逐流中我失去了自信心
I don’t have the confidence in the in
我失去了相信自己的能力
the vibe, in the pop and I just I lost faith in myself.
我该怎么办呢
What can I do?
对此我也没有简单合适的答案
And I don’t have a pat easy answer for that,
但是我有五个建议 它们可能对你有所帮助
but i got five ideas here. That might just help you.
我作为一个旁观者站在客观的角度
I’m outside here at my Writers village in oregon.
我认为你们懂我的意思
I thought you know what
这件事并不简单
we just talked about this is a tough topic
但是放手去做吧
but let’s take it on.
如果我们下定决心了 接受那些不同的声音
So forgive the sounds of nature if we got them.
原谅周遭一切不同的声音
Forgive the sounds of anything going by.
随心所欲好好活着吧
Let’s rock and roll.
第一种找回自信的方法就是要有动力
Number one way to start to believe in yourself is momentum.
如果你现在是真的特别讨厌自己
Now I know off the bat if you really hate yourself right now
类似于 谢谢你 布兰登 我讨厌自己就是因为
like thanks Brendan I got no momentum
我没有动力
that’s why i hate myself.
那么坚持一下 我就会形成那种思维模式
So hold on I’ll get to that mindset step
这种情感的承载
I’ll get the emotional stuff.
但是有的时候自信
But sometimes believing in yourself
就是每天都能得到的战术上的小成绩
is just tactically winning a little bit each day.
知道吗 只要
You know just a little bit of a win
一点点的小成就可以产生多巴胺
can give you that dopamine that says
而这种分泌物在说“哦 做得好 有奖励”
“oh good job reward” .
就算只是实现一些小小的目标
I feel better. It can be a very simple
也会获得精神上的满足
neurological payoff of just achieving a couple small goals.
当你听到我说
And as you heard me say anytime
在任何时候遇到了麻烦
you do with difficulty it can be just simple things,
只是做一些简单的小事 也能让事情
but it’s gotten went on.
让情况出现转机 因此不论你在做什么
So whatever you’re doing in your life.
如果你找到一份工作
If you got a job think about what small things
想想你明天可以做到
can i do tomorrow to move ahead.
哪些小事让工作更加顺利 如果你正在
If you’re dealing with a difficulty in a relationship,
处理人际关系的难题
what would be a simple win?
怎样才能取得一点进展
A simple moment of appreciation just
任何人都可以说出口的
something they could say or you could say
一句简单赞美
to put some more pop and energy
就可以让你们的关系更加密切更有活力
back into that relationship.
只是一个微笑 一次亲吻
Just one smile, one kiss, one good date
一次很棒的约会都可以帮你逆转困境
can change the game for you.
当然也有简单到只需要你一个人
Also if it’s just something simple, you
就可以做到的: 改善你的精神状态
can do in your own: your own health look.
有时去健身房也可以
Sometimes going to the gym and leaving you feel a little better.
让你感觉更好
You know it’s a little bit of movement
据证明 稍适运动可以
has been proven to change people states of minds
改变一个人的思维方式和他们的情绪
and their emotions too.
去健身房或者
So just get in the gym or
实现一些的小目标
get a little bit of small goal-setting,
或在你生活中任何一个领域
get a little bit of momentum forward in
发现一些前进的动力 至少是
any area of your life. That’s at least
一些好的开始 然后第二天接着 重复做这样的事
the beginning and then do it again the next day.
别一下子把明天的目标都完成了
Don’t just go and crush it tomorrow and
然后第二天无所事事只能在Netflix上
then be a jerk and do nothing and watch
看完七季的电视剧打发时间
seven seasons of netflix on the next day.
动力是日常生活的一部分 而这些小事
Momentum is daily. Little things every single day
和平凡的每一天 最终成就伟业
adds up to greatness.
第二个方法 也是更加偏向
Second big piece and this is more the emotional side,
情感方面的方法是整合
integration, my friend, integration
人们不相信自己
People don’t believe in themselves.
不是因为有迹象证明
It’s often it’s not that there has been evidence
他们不应该相信自己
that they shouldn’t believe in themselves.
他们也取得了成绩
They’ve had some wins have
实现了一些目标
had some goals that came true.
他们也曾创造出奇迹
That they made the magic happen but they never
但是他们从未将这些成绩整合起来
integrated the win they never had
有令人满意的事情 他们会
a good thing happen and they SAT there at the
在深夜里坐着思考这件事
end of the night, thinking about that
然后把这件事情
good thing that happened and allowing it
牢记在心里
to come into their heart, allowing
无论他们曾经做过什么 他们会把主要功劳归功于自己
whatever they did to to get themselves credit for it.
让自己即使对待令人厌恶的事也能保持乐观
Permission to feel good about sick.
你知道吗我今天做成了这件事
You know what I I did this today. He went
他今天很顺利 工作有了进展
well today that worked today and to
然后整合所有的收获
integrate that win integrate that
整合所获的成功 把那一刻的感受
success integrate that moment into their
收藏在心里 镌刻在自身的性格之中
heart into their identity as a human being.
我们中大多数人只是
What happens is most of us we knock off
不停行动来缩短任务清单的长度
the checklist and did it did it did it
一直不停地做下去 而五年后
did it did it did it and five years
在进行了无数次行动之后
later after all these did it made
在实现无数次目标之后 在经历无数次的质疑之后
haven’t made it happen question question
五年之后我们
question question. Five years later, we
感觉自己仍然和原来一样
feel the same about ourselves, the same
对自己的信任程度丝毫未变
of confidence, the same level of belief
因为我们没能允许
in ourselves because we didn’t allow
这些积极的结果进入我们的心灵
those things to enter our psyche, enter
进入我们灵魂深处成为一种力量
our spirit as strength. We didn’t we took
我们有外部的动力
We had momentum externally, but we didn’t
但是内部却没有动力
have any momentum internally, building
塑造我们的性格 成为我们的力量
our character, our strength. We never
我们从未产生过那样的自豪感
achieved that sense of pride or
或者对过去行为的肯定 我们虽然付诸于行动
ownership of what we did. We didn’t own
却没有真正的接受它 所以我们没能变得更坚强
it that we did it. So we never got stronger
这说明我们需要锻炼整合的能力
That means you need an integration
一天结束之前
practice. At the end of the day just sit
坐下来好好想一想
down at the end of the day go
我今天工作如何 我今天做了什么
What work today. What did I do today? What
做了哪些小事可以算作是自己的功劳
little thing should I allow myself a little bit of
我说过什么暖心的话吗
credit for. What would I say that was
我告别了哪些过去的事
nice or kind. What did I send away that I got
我做完了什么事情 我又向着
done? What did I finish? What gold I move a
进步了哪怕一点点 在一天结束之时
little closer to. And just at the end of
把这些事都记起来
the day to allow that to come in. This
这不只是要帮助我们振作起来
isn’t about just helping ourselves up
也不是毫无理由地说“我很棒”
and saying I’m awesome I’m awesome I’m
“我很棒”“我很棒” 我是在说
awesome with no evidence. I’m saying you
你可以有动力
know we got some momentum.It’s great that now
你今天做了工作
Own that. You did the work today,
你战斗胜利了 一天结束了
you fought the good fight, you finish the
你还活得很好 你知道
day you’re still alive. You know what you
你明天该做些什么
need to go do tomorrow in a great that success
你会开发出
give yourself that credit. You’ll develop
精神方面的潜能 而这是非常重要的
that strength of spirit.That’s so important.
如果这些都做到了你还是不相信自己
If you don’t believe in yourself after all that.
“嘿朋友 你需要一些反馈了”
“Hey bub, get some feedback”
你知道大多数人害怕听到反馈
You know most people fear this when you
当你不信任自己 你不想
don’t believe in yourself you don’t want
听见别人对自己的评价 因为他们
your feedback because they might say
可能会说你很笨很逊或者你很丑
you’re stupid or you sucker you’re ugly
但是你要知道如果他们真的这么说
and you know if they do that you’re
只能说你听错了人
getting feedback from the wrong people.
有时候得到我们爱的人的反馈
Sometimes it’s necessary to get feedback
得到我们了解 喜爱
from the people that we love, feedback
信任的人的反馈才是必要的
from people we know like and trust and
嗨 问题来了:
and just say hey that’s the question:
在你眼中 我做什么才是对的
what am i doing that you’re seeing that
因为我现在
seems right because right now i don’t
感觉自己做什么都是错的
feel like i’m doing anything right. And
而这也正是我们讨论的问题所在
that’s what we are talking about. No you’re
不 其实你很聪明 很善良 你做的是正确的事啊
smart you’re good you’ve been doing this.
有时别人给我们的反馈
Sometimes people can give us feedback
可以帮我们了解自己比我们想象的做得更好
and help us see that we are doing better than we think.
因为你可能是个完美主义者
Because maybe a perfectionist or maybe
可能从小身边就有人不断给你施加很大的压力
you grew up with somebody who pushed so
以至于你从未将任何取得的成功整合起来
hard on you you never integrated any successes.
有时你需要在别人给你压力时 说一声:
And sometimes you need somebody pushing hard at you
“孩子你做的很好 我为你感到骄傲”
just saying, “good job, kid, you’re doing alright, I’m proud of you,
我看到了你在这里付出的努力
I see that you’re working hard here,
我看到了你一次又一次地尝试
I see that you’re trying.” So sometimes it’s
有时候你的确需要换一个社交圈子
about getting around a new social circle
那里的朋友都在努力奋斗
of people who are strivers who are also
都奋力拼搏 都不断努力
struggling who are fighting hard who can
他们可以给你积极的反馈 对你说“做得不错”
give you that feedback and say good job
“坚持下去” 但如果你仍不断地
keep at it and if you do get negative
得到负面评价
feedback over and over and over.
就需要评估它们真实与否
Assess is it real?
你是否需要做一些改变
Do you need to change and shift and and
才能自己变得更好吗?如果答案是肯定的
get better. And if you do, don’t hate that,
别因为这些反馈而生气愤怒
don’t get mad at that.
把它当做一种挑战
Take that as a challenge instead of
而非把负面评价当做侮辱
taking things as a insult and crying
因他人的评价而哭泣
over people’s comments. go huh
你懂得有些评价是以现实为基础的
You know that’s kind of got some basis in reality.
我要把它当做一种挑战
I’m gonna take that as a challenge.
我要提高自身 不是为了证明它们是错的
I’m gonna develop myself not to prove them wrong,
而是让自己变得更好
but to get better.
接受自己
Allow yourself that allow that feeling
接受那些由于反馈产生的不同的感受
to come from the feedback.
我很喜欢接下来这条建议的理由很简单
Next up I love this one so simple.
准备好 想在生活中
It’s just priming the emotions
体验的情绪
that we want to experience in our life.
什么意思呢? 就是说要提前
What’s that mean? It means doing something in
去做某件事 这样我们就能感受到它
advance, so we can feel it.
这就是我的想法
And here’s what I mean by that.
每天早晨 我都想
In the morning every single day,see I want to be I
我都想要感受到激励
want to be motivated and driven.
想感受到生活的美好
I want to feel grateful for life.
我想一整天都热情洋溢
I want to have a sense of passion about the day.
但是你知道吗 很多时候
But you know some days I wake up
起床后感觉自己像个废人
and I feel like crap. So what am I gonna do?
那么我们该怎么做呢? 就那么浑浑噩噩一天?
Go through the day and just
就任凭这股冲动说服自己
allow my impulsive feelings to tell me
就这么颓废一天 然后就这样混过未来的日子?
feel like crap all day and lose multiple
不 我会说 我知道我为什么颓废了
days? No I’m gonna say,” okay I recognize
为什么睡不好觉
why I feel like crap. Why I didn’t sleep
为什么我现在脾气很坏
well or why I got this bad attitude right now.
我要从早晨就开始改变
I’m gonna change it in the morning.
我练习去以直观的方式
I do an affirmation practice and
去肯定自己
visualization practice where what I do
我每个早上都要做这件事
is I pick up something every single morning i do this.
摘取一些文章段落
I grabbed a little just paragraphs.
可能是我读过的《圣经》中的段落
Maybe I read from my Bible
可能是我曾读过任何一本书中的段落
maybe I read from one of my books or another book.
我把许多的段落 篇章
It’s a passage i have a bunch of passages
都记在笔记本中 手机中
in my notes section my phone, too.
如果我走在路上 我就会大声朗读这些文章
If I’m on the road and i’ll just read it out loud,
假装我正身处于我一生中
pretending that I’m like in my most
带给我最多快乐与热情的地方
passionate happy place in my life.
我会大声朗读一些
So I’ll be reading out loud some Franklin,
富兰克林·德拉诺·罗斯福的作品
Delano Roosevelt, I’ll be reading out
马丁·路德·金的演讲
loud to Martin Luther King, I’ll be
拿破仑·希尔的著作
reading out loud some napoleon hill or
或者尽可能大声读一些
reading out loud some real Nightingale
如夜莺般动听优美的文字
as loud as I can. And that voice
这样激情的朗读可以激发人的力量
activates a power which activates an
可以振奋情绪 可以一整天充满活力
emotion which activates my day.
所以你只要调动好情绪
So just gotta prime emotion or sometimes
洗澡时我会对自己说:”我今天
I’ll be in the shower i’ll say:“what can
做了什么 我今天打算做点什么
I do today, what I’m going to do today
带来欢笑
that would bring a laugh,
我今天要做些什么能让自己激动不已”
What can I do today that I’m excited for.”
我只是在调动自己的情绪
And I’ll just get my energy up, like,
好精神与好生活不是等出来的
don’t wait to have good energy and life.
记住我一直在说的
Remember as I always say the power plant
发电站本身没有能量 它生成能量
doesn’t have energy. It generates it.
你不开心了 就让自己开心起来
You don’t have happiness you generate it.
所以选出一个你想要体验的情绪
So choose to prime the emotions you want to
不断酝酿它来激发你的动力
experience like, cultivate it summon your
以此对抗你期待好事主动降临的心态
energy versus hoping a good one lands on you.
这时你开始感觉自己变得更好了
And you start to feel better about
生活也美好了 最后一个建议
yourself and about life. And the last big one.
你知道我在说什么:爱
You knew I was going to go there: love.
其实你早知道
You know you already know the thing
要爱自己 但可能出于某些原因
about love yourself and maybe in some
你从没践行这一点 你从未发现
ways you’ve never allowed that. You’ve never noticed
在你的一生中 曾经经历的美好
the beautiful things you’ve done in your life.
因此你不会去疼爱自己
So you never allowed yourself to love
但是突然某一瞬间
yourself but at some point you gotta
你发现支撑
recognize that there’s a lot of this
我们走到今天的
beyond you and beyond me and beyond your
不是你 不是我 更不是
actions and that love is whatever bought
你的那些行动 而是爱
us here alive today.
有人会说这是上帝的旨意是上帝之爱
Some would say, “it’s God’s will and God’s love.
有人说是宇宙的随机性
Some people is the randomness of the universe.
有人说这就是自然规律
Some people its nature some
有人说这是无所谓的事
people it’s whatever. But there is
但在这之中有凌驾于我们的东西
something way beyond us and there’s a
有方法去接近它 去尊重它
way to access that and a way to honor that
这种尊重让你意识到
and a way to honor that is recognized
你在七十亿人之中都是独一无二的
that you are unique about of 7 billion people.
确切的说没有人和你完全一样
No one is like you specifically
至少那一刻接受你的与众不同
and at least take that as a moment
对自己说 好吧我决定与独特为伴
saying okay I meant to live my uniqueness.
不是说我应该接受令我
I’m not i’m supposed to love
变得奇怪与众不同的东西
the things that make me odd and weird.
而是应该热爱那些让我变得 坚强的一切
I supposed to love the things that make me strong.
我应该坚持这条道路
I’m supposed to I was made this way so
所以我要感恩那些美好
let me honor what’s good about that and
而不那么美好的 就让我们 让它变好
what’s not good about that let me work on that.
我要做一个计划表让一些不尽人意的事情变好
Let me set a schedule to get better at
因此我不仅要尊重那些
that, so that I can not only honor what
给予我的东西也要回馈一些
I’ve been given but I can give something
让他们变得美好起来
back to by getting better. And that
通过我的行动带来
aspect of doing that that brings in so
更多的欢乐 更多的力量
much joy and so much strength in our
我们的生活充满爱 热爱自己热爱一切
life is love, loving ourselves, loving the process.
当然找回自信最好的
And of course, the greatest way
方法就是热爱他人
to believe in ourselves is to love other
因为他们对我们无比重要
people that they become so grateful for
他们可以给予我们一些反馈
us that they give us some of that
在那一刻这些人
feedback that they say that there’s so
带给我们太多的理解 关爱与欢乐
much appreciation and love and joy in
这些反馈会让你情不自禁
the moment with others that you can’t
沉浸于那种气氛之中
help but just feel that vibe.
当你身边的人感觉自己受到爱护
That there’s an emotional contagion when
关怀或者对生活充满希望时
other people around you are feeling
你也会感同身受因为情绪可以传染
loved and cared for and and excited
而且这种情绪在你身上也完全
about life. It’s hard not to rub off on
不会有一点弱化 而这时你会说
you a little bit. And you start to say you
你知道吗 其实生活也不是太糟糕
know what life isn’t so bad, and you know
你知道吗 我现在也可以感受到你的快乐
what I deserve to feel good to you
而且你知道吗
right now too. And you know what you
你开始得到了一些动力 一些小成就
start getting some momentum, some wins.
你整合了这些小成就
You integrate those wins to get some
获得积极的反馈然后变得更好
feedback to get better and all of a
突然之间你又重拾信心
sudden you start to believe in yourself
突然之间你开始了
again all of a sudden you start to live
热情洋溢的新生活 [音乐声]
the charged life [Music]

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甜品是敌人呀

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审核员 EY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPriLqXtOLg

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