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Have you ever heard of the most complex subject in the known universe,
one which is still far from being understood,
one which is the literal cause of everything,
one which made high school students hate school, and most importantly,
one that made Rick and Morty possible.
By the name of the video,
you probably know what I’m talking about –
Seriously now, I mean penguinologism.
Now for real, today we’re going to speak about chicken nugget science.
Fine I’ll just stop.
The first branch of physics is the most boring one.
and the only one that you can observe by yourself.
It says that objects will move if you kick them,
and that if you punch somebody they will punch you back with the same force.
No matter how ugly you are,
you still attract the entire universe towards yourself
with a force inversely proportional to the distance.
Next we have electromagnetism.
Thanks to it, your phone works.
Also thanks to it, the universe can exist.
It describes how electric and magnetic fields,
which are in fact the same thing, work.
Briefly it can be summarized as electrons and photons doing weird stuff.
Then we have thermodynamics,
which tries to explain why you shouldn’t jump in lava.
It also says that entropy tends to get higher,
which will result in an inevitable death of the entire universe,
called the Heat Death.
We also have fluid dynamics,
an excruciatingly hard way of determining how aerodynamic a cow can be.
Chaos theory tries to describe how your life would have been,
if you hadn’t said that really stupid thing to your crush back then.
We also have optics,
which pretty much studies how light behaves when it passes through glass.
#Hello? Hello? Hello?#
#Is there anybody in there?#
The next big pillar of physics is Relativity, relatively speaking.
There is this dude – Onestone,
who comes and says that light’s speed is constant.
And then people asked, “Well what if I run faster than that?”
And Onestone said, “You can’t because you’re fat.”
I’m not fat you reeky ill-breeding maggot.
Your mass is not 0 so you are, bitch.
你的质量不是0 所以你就是胖 蠢货
Also, Newton, your physics is sh*t.
还有 牛顿 你的物理就是一坨*
Gravity is not a force. It is the curvature of spacetime itself.
Next we have quantum mechanics.
A weird field with zombie cats, infinite versions of you,
and the core of Rick and Morty.
The standard model says that there are at least 13 types of particles.
First we have fermions – 6 types of quarks and 6 types of leptons.
Then we have 4 types of Gauge bosons, and one Scalar boson.
Gluons obviously make glue.
Photons make photon cannons.
Electrons make electricity.
The muon is basically electron’s overweight unstable sister.
The tau is basically the electron’s super-ultra overweight sister.
It is also really suicidal and doesn’t like to live for a long time.
These guys like to pass through everything,
without interfering with anything.
These guys are just boring.
These guys make up 6 flavors of Chupa Chups,
they also make up protons and neutrons.
The Higgs boson just makes you fat.
Then there is the superstring theory,
which replaces all the elementary particles
with really small vibrating strings.
Different particles, different vibrations.
It also argues that there are 11 spatial dimensions instead of 3.
It looks something like this.
Good luck imagining that.
Next I highly suggest to first watch this video
on quantum mechanics,
otherwise you won’t understand much.
Too lazy to watch it? Good luck.
First we have the Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle,
which states that he is the one who knocks.
Oh, no. Never mind.
糟了 头像错了 不管了
It states that you cannot physically know
both the position and the momentum of a quantum particle at the same time.
Then we have the Schrodinger’s cat,
which is both alive and dead at the same time until observed.
This works for all particles,
which exists in all possible states
as long as it doesn’t interact with anything else.
Oh, also, when observed,
哦 还有 当这只猫被观测时
the cat splits the universe in two, one with each version of the outcome.
So a single atom can split the universe in countless ways,
therefore creating a metric crap – ton of parallel universes,
according to the Many-Worlds-Interpretation.
Now seriously, go watch this video to understand what I just said.
I think I forgot to mention anti-matter,
dark matter, black holes matter, quantum gravity, the Big Bang,
暗物质 黑洞 量子引力 宇宙大爆炸
the infinite universe that is somehow still expanding, the Pythagorean Theorem.
It’s because I only have 5 minutes,
not several human lifetimes that are required to understand how the universe works.
But this is totally enough to understand most of the physics memes,
which is nice.
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